Half in the Bag: Wonder Woman 1984

half in the bag jerks can't fix the vcr [Music] right [Music] [Applause] [Music] so now mr plinkett after i finish setting up your wi-fi you'll be able to stream anything you want on this brand new 125 inch 16k tv all in complete surround sound i even set you up with all the pluses disney plus yep paramount plus uh huh apple tv plus oh boy yeah espn plus yeah cnn plus yep keanu reeves plus yep fisher price plus yep what about all the rest like hulu [ __ ] thing netflix you betcha amazon prime uh-huh hbo max yep cbs all access yep peacock uh-huh showtime now yep epic now uh-huh stars uh-huh shutter oh yeah fubu tv what that kubo tv of course booboo tv oh yeah philo uh-huh sling oh hell yeah pluto tv sure you bet me up vidco see senor slice no problem at all kings oh yeah red box oh god yes do you see universe nope i mean yep fandango now that one's my favorite tubey uh-huh crackle [ __ ] thing popcorn flicks you betcha shout factory tv imdb tv yep flicks fling uh-huh cribby i need to change my diaper crunchyroll yep hopster tv yep pureflex yep the dove channel yep broadway hd filmstruck yep fandor what do you think gaia oh yeah swellow reverie sundance now yep hiyu uh-huh amc premiere lifetime movie club uh-huh hallmark movies now yep history vault epics yep that one too but that leaves your monthly tv bill at around seventeen thousand dollars hmm well that seems reasonable does this mean i can finally watch my night court tape better than that mr plinkett you can stream any episode of knight quote whatever you want no vcr needed you know i waited almost a decade for those two clowns to fix my vcr and now you come along magically and just pimp out all my [ __ ] for me huh you know i think those two guys were conning me yeah it's a shame what happened to mike and jay murdered in their own shop why i haven't heard that somebody spiked their drinks with hallucinogenics oh i wonder who would have done that but when lightning speed vcr repair heard about lightning fast uh yeah yeah sure whatever when we heard about how long it took you to get your vcr repaired why we just knew we had to jump in and help yous however we could god bless you sir now there's just the matter of the bill oh let's see here you factor in the tv the cost of speakers carry the one and of course labor your total comes out to be 597 642 dollars and 11 cents oh she was that's nearly all of the cash that i've been saving for the last 100 years but that sounds reasonable i guess i'll start counting it out right now anything for night court yes yes anything anything for night court for all those suitcases filled with the cash ten thousand [Music] twenty thousand thirty thousand hey don't you know the rebooting night court uh never mind sixty thousand seventy thousand hold it right there oh my god [Applause] it's us mike and okay mike and jay but i thought you were dead well we were or rather our clones were you stupid [ __ ] do you think we're dumb enough to go outside and work during a pandemic we've been holed up in mr plinkett's basement this whole time you see when china released the coronavirus their big plan was to sell dumb americans clones of themselves to go out and work that way if your clone caught coveted and died you'd still be alive they didn't advertise it very well though i think the only people to buy clones were us and herman cain yeah that explains all those tweets he made after he died you see we've known for years that mr plinkett had over a half a million dollars hidden somewhere in his house yeah we just didn't know where but then when we saw you snooping around the vcr repair shop we told our clones to play along you led us right to it i've been searching for those four suitcases for over a decade now 120 530 540 000 thank you whatever your name is wow jay what do you know a crazy scheme of mine actually worked ah but it didn't you [ __ ] you see right now as we speak mr plinkett is counting on all of his cash and he's gonna give it to me that's right me [ __ ] so in the end you didn't really so long 2020. [Music] why am i counting i don't remember anything that just happened who are you guys are you here to help me watch night court oh you know mr blanket we would if we could but sadly night court isn't streaming on any of the 143 million apps you have yeah so you'll have to watch the old episodes you recorded on your vhs tape and for that we're gonna have to fix your vcr oh how much is that gonna cost is this enough money ah we're back baby we're back hey mike since it's christmas do you want to watch wonder woman 1984 hey why not but does it matter that i haven't seen the first 1983 films whatever it's just a superhero movie ah finally with first run movies streaming directly to a nice home theater system we can avoid the horrible horrible nightmare that is the movie theater experience amen brother yeah oh someday starting okay hello what my my car warranty is about to expire do you want a beer do you want to do you want a beer no sir my car expired five years ago it going to cost me how much looking back well sure hold on i gotta i have to eat these potato chips while i talk doctor said i gotta keep eating at certain times wonder woman 1984 is the latest entry in the dc cinematic universe or maybe it's not maybe it's just a sequel to wonder woman that ignores all that other stuff the joker movie's not a part of the dc universe is it because that has joaquim phoenix and not jared leto do any of these movies fit together does this movie fit together too many story lines to keep track of cgi cat lady the mandalorian overacting wonder woman losing her powers except for when she needs to use them and then i guess she has them again magical wishing rocks 1980s trying on clothes montages aerobics ghost rape this movie's got [Music] everything oh i kind of caught it oh it's spilled all over me you just don't got it jay what's it jeanna sequoia does wonder woman 1984 have it have we said this before but this movie was the cinematic equivalent of the bluesmobile i think we've used that analogy a few times over the years okay i know what you're talking about this is the best superhero movie since spider-man 3. oh oh yeah yeah i did think of spider-man 3 a lot that's the movie it reminded me the most of yeah where it's like all over the place in terms of like hey that's pretty good hey that's terrible hey that's laughably bad and i'm actually enjoying how stupid it is oh but now it's really [ __ ] boring why is there 15 plot lines uh shoehorned in villains it's it's it's just like spider-man 3. yeah well it uh the kristen wiig character was similar to the um for grace kai was kind of jealous of peter parker and so he became like evil from the uh the venom slime and you can ah it's also the jim carrey and batman forever it's electro and amazing spider-man too the villains and comic books are often envious of the superhero but we're going to talk about wonder woman 1984 today um and i don't know if you want to preface it with the reason why we're talking about it is a special movie uh it signifies the end of tentpole blockbusters in more ways than one maybe yes because the kind of movie that this is checks all those boxes of the miserable overbloated big budget popcorn big 1 trillion dollar money-making nightmare they're watching money burn on screen yeah that certain movies have become compared to uh other quality tv and or movies that are that are infinitely better i'm like this is i'm watching him like this is so bad it's junk there were some good parts or good things um it's one of those when you throw that much [ __ ] into the movie some of it's bound to stick that's the thing this feels like like one of the death throes of that kind of movie and that kind of movie going experience which is sad in a way because some of these movies can be good but yeah it's funny because we always everybody always compares you know dc to marvel and the marvel movies are always consistently good average to good uh but they all have kind of a sameness to it to them and then you look at the dc movies and it's like every different direction you have a movie like this or you have a movie like the joker which you know i didn't personally connect with but a lot of people liked that movie because it was so like serious and dramatic uh and that was a you know quality joaquin phoenix performance and then you have shazam which is like a kitty cartoon movie it's just like every possible thing there's nothing to connect any of these movies i don't know i don't know what the dc what their goal is with these movies just try a bunch of different [ __ ] i don't know i don't i don't think they have a road map necessarily like marvel did like kevin feige laid out yeah from the very beginning well they started one in the very beginning it was zack snyder was in charge of all this [ __ ] yeah and that went off the rails almost immediately yeah and now it's just like a free-for-all it's been very surreal patty jenkins you directed one of the only good dc movies you only directed it you didn't write it you want to write the second one i had to look that up because i saw that in the credits i was like did she write the first one and she didn't uh but she also wrote and directed monster which is a very good movie so it's like okay she can write a good movie it doesn't mean she could write a superhero that's that's true it's a very very different type of movie monster is based on a true story yeah and it's very character driven story existed already patty jenkins wrote the script and then you know there's some other people attached to screenwriters and i looked this up too because i just i i didn't look it up because i was wondering if she wrote the first one i just looked it up because it was so bad i'm like who wrote this [ __ ] um and then there's some couple guys like attached to other dc projects jeff johns is one i know he's a dc guy but you could tell patty jenkins created the story which is interesting because the first movie everyone was was touting the you know female lead action movie it's a feminist superhero movie which is fine you get to this movie though and the entire movie hinges on her longing for a man her dead boyfriend that she knew for a month it's 80 years later or whatever she's still obsessed with this man and then uh there's like a cat fight but literal cat fight between these two ladies it feels like like 10 steps back from the first movie yeah i saw a couple comments about that where it's like wonder woman wonder woman can't survive uh without a man in her life and and i was like oh you know i roll like okay they're going to do a love story thing what's the problem and i watched it and he watched it and they were kind of right excuse me are you waiting for someone no just me like she didn't find any other man to love like because he said why don't you date another guy there's plenty of guys out there not you know is it how do you how do you perceive it as as a longing you know love that spans across oceans of time or that she's just like ah like a blank slate like pathetic nobody that's how she comes across and that's and that's like i don't know i was just thinking about that it's like like a character like batman can carry a movie without a love interest you know i guess he has a little uh batman has like uh he's kind of tortured himself you know um he's he's got two personas and um uh wonder woman is just like she stops guys at a mall and then then she goes back to work yeah like like there's literally nothing there yes to work with yeah until you bring in chris pine to save the day i don't know yeah that's the weird thing too about the opening like they have the flashback to her on mascara or whatever the [ __ ] her planet is her world i don't know and uh that whole opening is completely pointless it has nothing to do with that that was the worst um it looks terrible it's like that was the imax sequence the jungle gym of death that they're running across yeah for some reason american ninja warrior yeah they let this little girl compete and the whole it goes on forever and it just keeps going and then you get to the end and it's like the lesson is uh you you have to you can't you can't yeah you can't uh look for an easy fix or a cheap way to you know you can't cheat your way out of a bigger problem which i guess kind of ties in but that's also something that an eight-year-old an adult definitely knows we don't need that 15-minute opening scene to teach us that the the little moral lesson of um you can't you can't find a shortcut but some but you can sometimes sometimes the shortcut is really valuable i i don't know and i guess that that goes with the plot of uh max powers pedro pascal maxwell max powers mex power is that his name it's max something is it max power's homer simpson's alias that is that is max max gold you start with that opening we have a the opening i think is like 18 minutes long i mean it's like literally the first act of a regular movie i mean it could be five minutes long if that's the point is she cheats at a race but it just keeps going did they just start saying like empty platitudes that's the whole movie like her speech at the end is more of that [ __ ] yeah i i couldn't even hear what you were saying and i i i wasn't even paying attention at that point um but in the beginning yeah the platitudes are just i was just laughing i'm just like oh my god i'm gonna i'm gonna write them up on the screen now that is the only truth and truth is all there is you cannot be the winner because you are not ready to win and there is no shame in that only in knowing the truth in your heart and not accepting it no true hero is born from lies like patience diligence the courage to face the truth one day you will become all that you dream of and more and everything will be different uh okay so after that opening sequence which was overly long because then we have another scene right after that that feels like the opening of a movie with the whole mall heist that's the better way to introduce wonder woman yeah is um is a is a classic uh wonder woman saves the day situation and it's a super corny scene which i was okay with i liked that scene that's the thing is that was like like sam raimi spider-man yeah schmaltzy uh corny garbage and i loved it it reminded me of uh the richard donner superman movies you know where it's just like um kind of goofy and the dc stuff is not really known for that but and also too uh patty jenkins shoots on film yeah i was surprised to read that this was film yeah it was 35 millimeter and then 75 70 millimeter for the imax and so it had that like legit like grainy real grainy film look like it was from the 80s almost like it was like a real movie like it wasn't super clean and digital you know i know you can add film grain to give it a movie look but it looked like real like film and so it kind of legitimately felt like throwback and so aside from some of the effects well the effects in the beginning were a little a little not great i i don't really care about effects anymore i really just if something looks bad like cgi wise i just don't care i just don't well that's then it's like an hour before wonder woman show i mean we see diana prince of course but before there's any sort of like wonder woman action yeah i think it is over an hour before any i think the next scene is that egypt action scene the car chase scene oh yes yes that's the next big action scene so where did this movie go wrong can we can we add up well one i didn't understand anything that happened wishes mike this is the weirdest sequel to wish master i've ever seen i wish this movie was never made and i've seen wish master iv somebody said let's let's make the movie take place in 1984 yeah that is the title of 84. i forgot the title i didn't know it was 84.87 it really doesn't matter they hardly do anything with the 80 80s aspect of it well well other than the you mean like as far as like like they don't play up the nostalgia factor too much it's like the mall at the beginning are you [ __ ] kidding me no there's not a lot there's like no pop songs in the movie there's no aside from the mall at the beginning we see like an arcade there's almost no 80s stuff did we watch the same movie i i'm just saying like i mean a couple fashion things here and there very little of the movie has anything to do with the fact that it takes place in 1984. aside from some very superficial uh on the the edges of the frame stuff uh who are you i'm thinking of like stranger things where it's like 80s 80s in your face oh my god that's what this was jay i didn't get that vibe at all maybe i was just distracted by all the nonsense maybe you were just following the the amazing story i was trying to follow the plot um which is classic sequel we need to put more villains in it i found this beer cold what why isn't this beer cold because it's been sitting out here for the last no it was in the fridge i put it in the fridge when i got it that's why it's not cold do you quit did i have to finish this myself they did a good job of building her up in the first movie as far as like feeling like a real hero that was that was the thing that stuck like i don't remember that movie very well i only saw that one time in the theater and i thought it was fun i thought it was pretty good this movie was pretty good um and it really it felt like she is a hero she was a fish out of water she got used to her environment she learned things from humans she learned the world wasn't so black and white there was like an art to her character and then this there's nothing they have nothing nothing to do with her and it also contradicts i don't know how much this matters but when you get to like i think it's in batman v superman or justice league they say that she's basically been in hiding since the events of the first wonder woman movie since world war one like no one knows where she is she's been in hiding and in this movie she's in the mall in her wonder woman costume she's working in the public with just still her same name like you think she'd at least have an alias yeah so people don't catch on so i don't know does any of this [ __ ] matter does continuity matter in these movies i did see an article that said that warner brothers wanted to cut one of the because there's two openings back to back there's what we talked about the olympics thing and then there's the mall scene and warner brothers wanted her to cut one of the two and she said no so she has enough power where she could tell warner brothers to [ __ ] off i'm gonna make my movie as self-indulgent as possible she apparently doesn't know how to write a story for a character for a strong character and i'm using this because people use it as a crutch or a defense with this movie is that you don't like this movie because you don't like strong female characters no we don't like bad movies i love a movie with a strong female character this movie does not have one no wonder woman is is a flat line in this and you could have done so much more with that gap of time between wonder woman one and this one where like you said she's just i'm still doing my thing writing things like she could have gone off the wagon she could have gone full like luke skywalker on the island you know she's going crazy from all this time passing something interesting and then she has she has to like find her strength again or you know i don't know what the hell you do with the wonder woman character all i know is they did nothing with her character then the movie started and i guess while she's working at the smithsonian she goes around stopping petty crimes somehow i don't know how she's always there because she's a superhero wow this is incredible that's why i i mean i think batman is the best like dc superhero because he's like grounded in reality you know what i mean and i like the fact there's more to work with like psychologically and you know he works with the cops so that like they have the bat signal he knows where crime is he has technology that answers those questions he's just a regular man but he has a lot of technology yeah so that makes his character interesting and that's why his arch nemesis the joker is interesting because he's he's the he's the polar opposite he's the antithesis of batman batman is law and order and justice and the joker is anarchy and chaos well that's why kristen wiig's character is so interesting in this movie because she's jealous of wonder woman's shoes such strong female characters so fatty jenkins said i want to make a movie about how the 80s were bad and trump as much as you say it like i didn't even i didn't read a single [ __ ] thing about this movie well visually he looks like trump there's first of all you start off like what what do you think of when you think of the 80s right obviously you think of the fashion you think of big shoulder pads on women you think of the terrible music you think a rubik's cube you think of ronald reagan um cold war reagan's got his finger on the button the nukes that all comes up later on the soviet union um and then that was the like the era of trump's rise to power or stardom the yuppie businessman the yuppie that classic type archetype yes the the um uh gordon geckos right the the white guys with the red suspenders in in wall street making money donald trump had his book what's his famous book uh what's that called donald trump has this famous book i don't know what it's called i don't know i could see it in my head you know yeah i see that he's leaning against the yeah yeah and so it was it's and then this uh the pedro pascal character very much so looks like him i'm not a loser he's a loser it's a word donald trump isn't usually at a loss for we have losers he's called fellow republican karl rove a loser a proven loser and a total loser visually he looks like him i i guess i wasn't thinking of trump so much outside of the visual just because he feels like that stock 80s character right more so than specifically trump why are you doing that don't you have enough why not why not wish for more but they don't know what you're taking from them we want what we want the plot of the movie is there's a magic stone that grants wishes and you touch the magic stone of grant's wishes and his wish is to be the magic stone he basically wished for more wishes the the genie paradox right which is what everybody says i'd wish for more unlimited wishes right and you can't do that why not that's the rules i guess the rules but he gets around it by wishing that he was the the personification of the magic wish rock yeah uh and i guess he needs other people to make wishes to fuel his power something this is when it turns to gobbledygook i didn't understand anything at first i thought okay he's just going to wish that all of his bat all the bad land that he bought has oil deposits on it that's what i thought he was going to wish for that's not exciting enough your comic movie and he's going to become like super wealthy really fast and maybe like then go bonkers and build a missile that's going to blow up the moon and wonder woman has to lasso the missile yeah nice and simple nice nice and uh christopher reeve christopher is that the superman iv where he collects all the nukes and throws them into the sun and creates nuclear man there's a lot of kristen wiig early on like to the point where you think she's going to be a more important role but then she ultimately just ends up being the uh the heavy for the main bad guy yeah which is weird it'd be like if uh i don't know in raiders of the lost ark the heavy the big muscle guy that he fights if we had to spend like 30 minutes setting up his backstory right when he's ultimately pointless [Music] well the the cheetah or leopard or whatever yeah yeah that character i guess is the official arch nemesis of wonder woman in the comic books and they really did her justice a five-second fight scene that's terrible yeah like she's like kind of like like the uh venom the spider-man like the the opposite of wonder woman where she's you know filled with jealousy or emotional turmoil or something and wonder woman is more grounded and peaceful in her brain and they have to [ __ ] slap each other well the early stuff with her made sense it ultimately ends up being pointless but it's like she wishes she idolizes uh diana prince she's like i want to be just like her beautiful and elegant and smart but when you make a wish it's the monkey's paw where then something bad happens or something gets taken away from you and she starts out as a nice person but as she becomes hot and cool she starts to become a horrible person and then she decides she wants to be a cheetah yeah she says i want to be an apex predator i mean why does she want to become a cheetah i'm assuming this isn't the backstory to the character in the comments she liked her in the beginning she says i like the animal print she goes rare that's why jay that's why that's amazing great writing i mean to give the movie uh it's credit that these are based on silly characters from a comic book sure you gotta have something i have 48 you know uh i would have been fine if chris if you're if you're gonna focus on kristen wiig which you could cut her out of the movie it wouldn't make any difference and and then you'd have a tighter movie that's just about pedro pascal he's your villain uh but they're like we got to put another villain in we got to put cheetah in i would be fine one or the other if kristin wiggles the main villain but then i guess she has to turn in cheetah because that's the villain but her just becoming like more angry as the movie went along like that kind of worked on its own isolated from everything else they didn't learn their lesson from venom and sandman yeah in spider-man 3. didn't sam rainey like famously say i don't want to have two villains he didn't want venom in the movie but the studio forced him to put venom in there but yeah kristen wiig very beginning oh she's she drops her briefcase everything falls out everything falls out thus i thought i was watching ghostbusters for me i know it's like the exact same performance yes and i like kristen awake for the most part the same character no kristen rig wig is good in anything but these kind of big big blockbuster movies yeah she meets diana prince and i think she's lesbian for her because she immediately asked her out to dinner animal printer do you want to get lunch i um i'm not now obviously it's morning but later today or whenever like around like a lunch time well yeah it's it's set up almost like yeah she she is in love with diana prince right it turns out she's just jealous of her which again go back to the feminism all these women jealous of each other can't fight him yeah and they should have um like if they're gonna do the jealousy thing yeah that could have been a whole movie in itself if you just remove uh max powers yeah one or the other yeah both of those story lines could have been a movie yeah yeah max powers you tone that down because when they go to egypt and he's like i'll i'll give you a giant wall that tears egypt into and does something and deprives these people of water and you give me all of your oil ha ha i already gave my oil to saudi arabia well i'm going to take your security guards and your tanks and then go over to saudi i don't know what's happening like get that out of there well i also love that egypt scene diana prince and uh steve i want to keep calling steve rogers yeah whatever his name is chris pines just say chris blind they go to egypt to find pedro pascal and they don't do anything clever or do any sort of detective work they're just driving on a road and they happen to drive past him [Music] that was him that was max lord oh yeah in all of egypt right oh there he goes please jump on his one road jack based on this movie that's what i would uh come to the conclusion because that's a great action scene too that's it's like complete schlock that whole car chase scene oh that was fine with that i would no i was too because it was like ridiculous it kind of felt like like a lot of it was i was having like raiders flashbacks you know that kind of like you where you can see the ground and you know they're only going 20 miles an hour maybe 10 because the ground's moving real slow um and uh you could tell a lot of it was real you know obviously when cars are flying in the air it's not real but um it looked like real like spielbergie and in camera kind of like real cars and people some of it yeah and not to like michael bayish and cgi some of the shots felt like there's a like a head-on shot of her running down the road terrible the kids playing soccer when she grabs them that shot of them rolling where it's so clearly a dummy it's like they just left that in the movie and then they they go to egypt because they find it like a was it like a decommissioned jet fighter yeah it's at the uh smithsonian yeah and i guess it's just completely fueled up it's fueled up it's it it's been fully maintenanced within the last you know a couple days yeah in a world where one pilot can figure out how to fly right away and and they don't need helmets or ear protection in a jet that is extremely loud they just sit in it and it's you can hear a pin drop in the cockpit yeah a commercial airliner's louder than that yeah and they're just sitting there inside the jet like with nothing no helmet and and also i'm i'm not an expert i mean he's he says it in the film he's like wow you have planes that can fly from here to cairo without refueling you have a plane that can fly from here to cairo in one shot again i'm not an expert i'm not an aviation or or airplane expert but just using common sense i don't think a fighter jet can make it from washington dc to cairo because they have aircraft carriers they land on to refuel they you know they're meant for combat not for long distance not like a like a commercial airliner's meant for long distance so i know i'm i'm making specific points about a silly comic book movie like like i said before something has to matter when you have a movie where you just keep saying no this doesn't matter this doesn't matter this doesn't matter it all adds up yeah because that same scene i'm confused about uh wonder woman's powers cause i guess she kind of learns to fly in this movie sort of but in that scene this is where because i know one of the few things that everybody knows about wonder woman she has the invisible jet and they tried to cram that in here by her just randomly out of nowhere saying like you know i think when i was a little kid once i kind of made something turn invisible maybe i'll just try that now i mean i know they're trying to hide from you know everyone else that's chasing them yeah but it's like just all of a sudden like oh i made something invisible once her father her father taught her a magic spell my father hit the mascara from the world and i've been trying to learn how we did it she never thought to use it until this very moment once you once you evoke like like like a like a passed down generational thing that's that's woven into your family structure that it gives it weight if you just say oh one time i figured out how to make something disappear by like reading it or watching a youtube tutorial then it doesn't have so much weight my father my father these are these are these are tricks these are tricks of the ear sure that they use to to to fool the weak-minded throw some schmaltzy music under it when i was a little you're not thinking about the fact that wait she's never done this before or since sitting with a coffee cup and then lost a coffee cup that that's supposed to attention too oh she did it once and it just sort of worked is it gonna work this time of course it is throw that stuff in earlier in the movie so it pays off you don't just like introduce it and then have her do it immediately it's the same with her golden suit that shows up at the end they're in her apartment at one point and it's like wrapped in newspaper he's like what's this thing he's like oh that's a golden suit of armor i don't know maybe i'll wear it someday or something i don't know well they'll come in handy if i ever lose my powers if i ever have to fight a cheetah woman with rarely any powers because i lost them wishing on a magic stone there's a little post-it note that says all that that's the problem with this movie is like we're making fun of the the how much jet fuel they have and just nonsense because because the the story line the plot and setups payoffs character arcs basic foundations of a movie basic foundations are not there yeah it's like looking at a destroyed house like that which is that's just crumbled to pieces and we're like making fun of like the bathtub that's sitting out of like wreckage you know what i mean look at that bathtub you know what i mean that's kind of what we're doing because it's the movie's such a mess that it's almost hard to nail down what to talk about i was just thinking you know what makes that any even worse when she wears that golden suit of armor you were saying it's like oh cause she's weak because she lost her powers at that point in the movie she has her powers back again no no yeah she does because she she gives up steve rogers no no she's she she uh she just says bye to him and and that's her renouncing her wish no no she's she she will renounce her wish in a future date in a future time and there is a moment during the fight and i think that's the moment she renounces her wish you announced your wish i had to and so do you but the weird thing is once she runs away from chris pine we never see him again yeah they should have had chris pine standing there and he like you know turns back into the normal yeah like morphed into that guy and but have have him kind of standing there on the on the street corner like maybe maybe you could have him looking up at a plane like watching a plane go by you know and then like all of a sudden he goes like this like after that moment happens he goes like wtf yeah we do see him again at the very end at the very end when they meet up and he's himself but you you're saying we need a visual cue that she has renounced the way yes exactly we see him turn back down we know at the we know chris uh pine died and she renounced her wish because she got a powers back she did it mid-fight but they didn't they didn't tell us that visually about yeah it's really muddled it's like it's like chris chris pine like left the set after that like she ran away and his last line is like diana i want to forget you yeah it's like 80 yards by like the guy who gets everybody coffee yes that was really awkward i assume that voice was supposed to be the actual guy i don't know but i don't know i think it was we don't see enough of that actual guy that whole subplot is [ __ ] weird and that's a case of where we talk about them not thinking anything out where it's like the moral implications of what's happening there is so creepy and the movie like somebody involved with the movie has to understand that and they just don't care oh the idea that like they've taken over this guy's body do they have sexual intercourse it's implied that they have sex and then they they put that poor guy's body in peril multiple times that's the big part is throughout the movie yeah and neither of them acknowledge how [ __ ] up this is yeah they're not like concerned about his safety at all you would think they would it just makes them both look really selfish what makes diana look selfish he's dead he can't help it yeah and like somebody involved with the movie had to understand that this is weird and they just said ah the audience won't know because chris pine's back and they'll they just want to see these two together yeah because they were so good in the first movie it was a stupid way to bring them back they could have done anything i mean it's a superhero movie well that's the thing is like the wishes i wish that steve rogers was back go up here just have him appear the idea of having him like take over somebody else's body is bizarre it was bizarre and there's no real logic to it it's just a thing that they decided to have happen yeah but at the very least you could say chris chris pine could say let's go to egypt and get that guy wait a minute won't i be endangering like this random guy's life and then some acknowledgement don't worry i protect you don't worry i protect you okay you know that's it done you know acknowledge or don't have that in the movie at all that's another thing where it's like he shouldn't even be in this movie how did chris pine die in the first one is playing he he sacrifices himself he flies his plane up into the sky to stop something i don't remember whatever the threat is right so he's dead dead he's blown up yeah and that's you know that has some emotional weight to it they've grown to love each other and he sacrifices himself so bringing him back for this movie just so they have to separate again at the end it's just like repeating the same thing he's just like a greedy megalomaniac who just wants to make deals all over the place the art of the deal part of the deal that's the name of the book and by golly the movie brought it to my head because that's what he's doing he's making deals with people he is a con man and he is a cheat didn't take long to find out you're nothing but a low-life con i am not a con man well there's that facade of being this big big man big company runs this big company and then he goes into his office and it's like empty and he doesn't have any employees yes and at heart he's a fraud yeah and then to to hammer it home even further at the end he goes into a bunker a u.s government bunker and is standing in front of the president of the united states seal just screaming into the microphone trying to start world war three yeah and you don't get much clearer than that which in the context of the movie is bizarre he just goes on tv and he looks like a lunatic and his eyes are like bloodshot zombie president everybody start wishing for things and everybody does but anyway he goes into the oval office and then he's trying to make a deal with the president and then somehow he gets the information that there are satellites in orbit of earth that will beam down a transmission to any tv which includes computer monitors somehow in 1984 that that don't receive television signals not in 1984. i guess it's the government they got a magical super technology hidden in the mountains how uses particle beam technology just like the star wars program apparently it bathes the landscape and a signal of particles that goes in and fiddles with any technology it touches new or old broadcast whatever you want but he's like he's like get me a chopper and take me i thought he said get me a chopper and take me to the satellites like literally to space and i'm like what buddy he meant take him to the bunker so he goes to the bunker and they're like who are you and he's like uh i bet you wish that i wish that you wish that i would come in here there's a lot of scenes in there don't you wish for like yeah you do that once you can't have him do that for every character that wishes for something yeah but he gets on a podium and then for no reason starts spinning whirlwinds and there's like a there's like a glowing rod of light it looks like the inside of the death star and um he's like i'm troll what are your wishes and um people and and everyone around the world wish something yeah and so they show my favorite is the the the irish guy in the restaurant where he's like i wish you'd drop dead and she says i wish that you'd go back to where you came from and immediately there's like a van outside to police to deport him rounding up the irish like that very second it's great forcibly deporting people jay yeah the whole idea is that then diana prince you know she gets on she uses her magic lasso to to tell the world to renounce their wishes so that's one we have to assume that everybody in the entire world renounces their wishes and heard her and hurt her but also and understands her because we're broadcasting all over the world and there's probably tons of people that don't even speak english i don't know what the [ __ ] she's saying maybe somebody wished for a translator i don't know but uh she so everybody renounces their wishes but not every wish could be bad or selfish right like some people had to wish for good things well it's not that it's a bad or good wish it's just that the renouncing the wishes will deflate the power or stop the power of the crystal i guess i'm just thinking of somebody like wishing like i wish i didn't have cancer wow and then that gets reverted they're [ __ ] does anybody just does the whole world remember this incident or is it wiped from their memories there's aftermath of it so i assume so yeah i assume because we see like missiles start to go up but then they disappear when the wishes are renounced but we do see like rubble and the world's all [ __ ] up so what happens with pedro pascal does he just he runs out and he he finds his son and his son said i wish that you loved me or something yeah how did he get out of that room or what happened i i don't remember honestly i stopped watching the movie i was like like walking around like doing stuff i left it on in the background i knew something happened you missed diana's big emotional speech she says absolutely nothing i saw her like blabbing she's babbling about the truth and the importance of the truth yeah yeah and it's just like complete nonsense how to tell the whole world is being honest true to yourself it's the one great path to being truthful and honest and this is the truth and platitudes yeah oh yeah that whole end speech and not only that but it keeps going she starts giving her speech and i was like okay that's it and then it just she just keeps talking and saying nothing this world was a beautiful place just as it was and you cannot have it all you can only have the truth and the truth is enough the truth is beautiful and then it just goes around the world and all these things are happening and and all that dramatic music and and it's just like the illusion of emotion the illusion of something grand happening and it's like oh man i'll give it credit though at the very least the ending is not a big cgi monster fight true at least it's something kind of different but the idea of like like a crazy like fraudulent businessman getting a hold of reminded me like the lex luthor plots in the yeah the early superman movies where where a fraudster businessman who's down on his luck happens upon some kind of thing that makes him makes everything go awry you know that's kind of fun you get rid of kristen wick yes um and and just have him be the villain and but don't take it to the extreme levels that they did they they just they turned it up to 11. you know what i mean and they didn't need to but the ending of this is so dramatic and serious being serious so it's so so far away from where it starts with that that mall fight and wonder woman didn't learn how to fly that was you're supposed to be crying then jay because that was after she ran away from steve rogers yeah who was dying or dead or going to be dead she knew that she had to renounce her wish and she wouldn't see it and so she ran and she flung her whip up in the air and she jumped up real high and she caught onto an airplane and pulled herself up into the sky she flies up into the sky with the lasso of truth didn't she have a sword in the last movie i feel like that was her big weapon and the last movie was a sword do they tone that down for the kids in this one does she have a sword i don't remember that she had some sort of other weapon anyway what i was saying was she flew and she could she was like kind of going on momentum you know yeah and then she was flying and um then she lasso was a cloud stop the point is in her mind she hears steve guttenberg's voice and he's like flying is it's a magical thing you catch the wind and it lifts you up oh yeah that's what he's saying about flying he's playing he's waxing poetic about flying saying empty planets about flying and flight and how magical it is and um and she remembers his his words and it gives her the inspiration to fly and then you know that starts to fall but then she keeps it going she lasso is lightning she lasts as a cloud and then she laughs as lightning yeah that was okay that's kind of cool and the light i don't know how you lasso light that's again though that's like that's so goofy you got to play it as goofy but this is the big emotional crux of the film it doesn't work all the like going back to sam raimi's uh spider-man movies those are very silly movies they have emotional moments but they're emotional moments that are uh grounded in character stuff yeah the second spider-man movie is great it's like there's a ton of silly stuff in that but you connect with the character yeah and there's no character to connect with in this wonder woman is and gal gadot is like worse than she was in the last movie too yeah there's there's no like there's there's nothing no charm yeah like the la i'm i okay i kind of first one's coming back to me a little they're in like london and they're walking around kind of doing spy stuff and there's some little cutesy romance stuff between them yeah back and forth yeah all the the the stuff between those two characters in the first movie works yeah they're trying to do something like with the him putting on 80s clothes montage yeah and it just all falls flat and then they're they barely do anything i don't remember what they do in the movie i know they go to egypt and then they he he kicks a tank and then oh we'll have paddy jenkins write a script come up with a story like seriously i think i think the first one did so well they were so happy to have a dc movie that wasn't bad yeah and they were like red carpet yeah did you notice how every man in the movie like aggressively hit on both the women characters yeah i mean i know what they're doing like i get that but but it wasn't like i don't know the the drunk guy that's like kristen wiig and i mean at least they i well nobody dies in the movie there's that part where she starts like kicking the [ __ ] out of him and it's like okay he's getting his comeuppance for being a drunk creep yeah but if you want to make her evil have her kill him and then you're like oh okay now she's gone too far we're going for a g rating yeah yeah it feels so clean like nobody dies in this whole movie i don't think so kristen wig picks up the drunk guy and she throws him against a van or a truck to the point where it dents the truck and then the guy falls back on the ground and then he gets up yeah i'm sorry but if you if your body dents steel you don't get back up your back is shattered i think they forgot that he wasn't a superhero you know i mean that he was just a regular person what it's a superhero movie people get thrown into cars so hard they dent the car and i'm not just talking about like a flimsy you know like you know car door or something like he he puts a clear huge indent in a and truck and it gets back up wow that's a superhero but does now does he have superpowers i don't know where's the script does it matter does it matter nothing matters that's the motto of this film absolutely nothing matters tone characters character motivation story plot special effects at some point something has to matter yeah and it's weird too because there there aren't like you said there is no monster fight at the end so there aren't like super long bloated action sequences like your uh your zack snyder movies yeah it just goes on for you've got a headache because there's so much action yeah this just has for two and a half hours it has like two actions there's a scene in like the white house or oh yeah the government in the hallway there yeah and it's like christian wig before she becomes the the cat lady yeah i think that's supposed to be the big show stoppers that that cheetah fight at the end yeah but they shot the whole thing with no lights so you can't see what the [ __ ] is happening yeah that's a weird can't beat up pedro pascal he's just a human being yeah so she has to fight cat lady cheetah chatara and um yeah yeah i think you're right that's like the big boss minor boss fight how does it go this off the rails yeah that's that's it's really confusing right it's it's the problem is well i was gonna say the problem is the script but the problem is the script and the direction well you can't direct a terrible script it's a mystery what happened here it's a big mystery because it is it is a big old mess yeah and uh the first one was good we actually liked the first one um and this one just oh god just so many bad decisions you know i'm not so keen on this one i figure uh you are but you know what i'm ready to go i think we can do better so jay would you recommend wonder woman 1984. uh if you have hbo max why not i i'm going to say it's there's parts of it that are entertaining in a spider-man 3 kind of way where it's like like what were they thinking kind of way so put like a postmortem kind of like viewing yeah uh not like if if theaters were still open i would say definitely don't [ __ ] paint a seat in the theater but right don't buy hbo max don't buy hbo max just to get watch this no yeah i i would i would say yeah if you do have hbo max watch the first like half of this movie and turn it off like i was like fast forwarding yeah i had the luxury like that whole like 25 minute long ending where the all the stuff's happening and he's screaming into the podium and all the wishes and and i was just like no no forward progression is happening this is just stretching it and there's just this loud music playing what are women's just rambling about the truth she's rambling about something and i'm just fast forwarding until the next thing occurs on screen that i know has changed the scenario halfway through it becomes a disgusting boring slog that that is super heavy it takes itself way too seriously it becomes a nightmarish mess that's the best way to describe it so if you want to feel all those things watch wonder woman 1984 or watch half of wonder woman 1984 or don't watch it at all you're not missing much if if you skip it i would say watch doom patrol instead a much much better dc product that i thoroughly enjoyed let someone else write the script patty [Music] you don't gotta write the script too you suck at it actually i would recommend it guess that's the end

Channel: RedLetterMedia

Views: 1,508,022

Rating: 4.890059 out of 5

Keywords: redlettermedia, red letter media, red, letter, media, plinkett, half in the bag, mike stoklasa, jay bauman, rich evans

Id: HhkBleDMvB0

Length: 61min 1sec (3661 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 02 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/RolloTamaci]

Mike is just so fucking done with movies, I love it.

[u/Jedi112]

Double Rich Evans. I’ll take it.

[u/FuckYouZackSnyder]

Is that the Patreon money everyone keeps talking about?

[u/Bob_Saget_Enthusiast]

The most important development is the return of Big Vest Jay

[u/Guysmiley777]

That compilation of the Empty Platitude Speech made me physically recoil in pain.

[u/ReklessS0ul]

Over an hour long? 2021 is already off to a slightly less disappointing start than last year!

[u/Pissmop69]

There's so many subscription services now that I can't even tell if the services plinkett listed off are real or not, it's gotten that bad.

[u/guyfromphilly]

Not that it matters but she renounces her wish when she leaves Steve in DC.

Now, I politely ask them to re-shoot and re-edit this entire episode.

[u/NicolasCopernico]

Holy Shit, I just realized that its has been 10 years of HitB