SCUMBAG LOOT GOBLIN | Call of Duty: Warzone

should i buy some gamer stuff should i pay my rent instead you can just take out a loan get more gamer subs and also why are you giving me ten dollars to ask me if you should pay your rent so many layers of poor financial advice bro i just use my unemployment to pay a parking ticket paw government paying the government you can bribe me all you want call of duty war zone the most innovative battle royalty ever exists where we try our hardest to spare the orifice i'mma keep it real this orphan is just not stand a chance all right they better save their lives when i'm done they're gonna have no appearance huh wait what's going on first off if you're looking for an informative or useful warzone video you need to leave because compared to your average twitch streamer we're basically brain dead and play the game in the most ass backwards way possible for some cash see what you can find [Music] if you're an avid war zone player already i'm willing to bet that you'll hate us which is okay because we hate us too i just wanted a [ __ ] camaro he purposely let himself die in the group classic jello on his way outside to be immersed in more society so sick of all the society around me i wanted to go seriously final warning that you still have time to find the door so you don't have to suffer through an rpg fueled scumbag crusade with complete disregard for warzone norms you can run me all you want dead ass oh don't close that on me though yes [ __ ] up did you just lost on that guy's wife after he blew him up with an rpg on his wife i don't remember that far since you're still watching i'm here to tell you right now that warzone is a masterpiece damn this is the dumbest [ __ ] multiplayer game i've ever played i love it so much i know the meme critique is always oh another call of duty or another battle royale where's the originality by the new thing it's the same thing as the old thing but we changed a couple of [ __ ] and then by the thing after that it's just like the thing two things ago but a bit better but who gives a [ __ ] about originality there's no shortage of novel games out there that are absolute ass and derivative games that are outstanding warzone included it's a [ __ ] blast from start to finish execution time yes say good night motherfu oh my god furthermore it is the best kind of unoriginal because it's taken all of the gaps and shortcomings of other vr games and filled them with solutions just the gulag alone is a simple yet brilliant example oh rock what the hell was that hey what's [ __ ] you guys even though i got hit in the mouth of the rock you cowards can't stop me and to ensure all this makes sense let me take it from the top because i know for me as a viewer it looked incredibly complicated but once i became a player i learned it's really not doing a drive by get that dude in the street oh [ __ ] i've got my dick oh my god i'm [ __ ] up yeah the game starts with a warm up which i personally use as an opportunity to learn new weapons if i'm unfamiliar or turned into a fun little mini game of my bones versus gravity oh yes thanks warsaw yes this is quite the warm-up just plumbing oh god that was actually pretty good because she exploded [ __ ] you two are these gas guards i'm on a rampage you know what i'm saying you have fun just hurling your krueger into the earth i mean that's the most fun that you can have in the prep phase especially when you're trying to get cash yes dm chaotic this haircut is to make me more aerodynamic so i can hit the ground that much harder to end my suffering that much faster avatar the last airbender looking headaches once you jump out of the airplane you're immersed in the wild wasteland known as verdank or something like that not sure where it would be on a scale from detroit to baltimore but i'm sure as [ __ ] it's too dangerous for a picnic are you telling me the tier list heavily like uh what's what's baltimore compared to detroit and chicago baltimore is literally s tier murder capital you'll die welcome to funky it's a dark rv series no it's pub g dark rp has mods pub g is literally one man is standing upon landing you're met with the first innovation of war zone a glock which is incredible now you don't get caught with your dick in your hand just because the random loot gods aren't on your side i broke my armor in midair i see exactly who did it and when i got out [ __ ] up block central baby no gabriel yes being caught empty-handed a headache from so many other br games already fixed and on that note i love the glock apparently that makes me psychotic to all warzone veterans but it's so simple and fun to use either as a gun or a tiny baseball bat it's the truth beat them beat them beat them fellas beat them beat them i kind of like this glock can i just stick with this stick with the burner like you didn't put disco on a frying pan i think he's downstairs yes i got it with the glock baby suck it nerd but let's say that your burner skills are whack and you die the game's not over yet because you'll be sent to the gulag for a 1v1 against another player that's perished and the winner of this duel is rewarded with freedom and respawns back into the battle royale gonna win this gulag chat you ready to see how it's done and just like that he's dead yup counted that wasn't actually kind of mean but actually that guy was like you can plug in his game [ __ ] around in this gula i'm gonna get my glock so i can not revive jello and get gun runs mara [ __ ] you [ __ ] you boom that hair pulling frustration of dying early and having to spectate your buddies for 20 minutes gone even though it's done original i think the first time i experienced vr respawn was with ea and apex legends e a sports what a shame god this twist on it is very clever and even if you [ __ ] up your second chance you can still get back in the game if your teammates buy you back with the cash system all right and i'm buying uh ecash gotcha there you go of course that's just one of the possibilities with your money that you found or stole from dead enemies the way that cash is actually pulled and spent with your buddy is usually a little different [ __ ] with you it's my money i earned it this is my stimulus check [ __ ] get a if you can afford it get a self revival oh wolf's accidentally bought the precision gear strike woof oh [ __ ] i got the a-10 [ __ ] though i should add that i'm not exactly in a position to talk [ __ ] because my spending habits are not something to aspire to you got eighteen thousand dollars oh [ __ ] yeah i just know this wait jello if you cost 4 500 how many gun runs can we buy so we're getting julius back on a10 gun run armor box uav let me get uh i think that's all our money actually a 10 gun run inbound boys i drag low speed up in here no hits on that run god damn wonder how you could have got those bro [ __ ] it we ball all right i just called it in oh my god what the [ __ ] do you expect from the world's biggest scumbag loot goblet just look at me i exist to hoard all of the best resources and use them in the least effective way loot is another highlight because it's simplified every weapon you pick up has hard baked attachments so you don't have to fumble around with acogs and muzzle attachments and potato grips what you see is what you get and no matter how goofy the gun may be i love the simplicity i thought this gun's name was brush stroke i was about to say the same thing that is like telepathy dude i swear to god i just bit i saw it for like three frames oh that's like actually disgusting i feel like you just reached inside my brain and pulled out an idea same goes for armor you find plates scattered around you stick three of them in your vest and you're fully protected no fooling around with helmets elbow pads and a billion other types of granular armor i love the simplicity that it offers to a plate goblin like me even when it may look a little weird damn where is mara putting those plates what the [ __ ] i found a satchel that can hold eight armor plates instead yeah if i had any i'm not trying to express frustration at ue cash i'm trying to express frustration i have no [ __ ] plate stuff i need my [ __ ] sappy plate oh right near uv cash i'm lighting him up we got him take his plates running first bumps biggest balls i am the armored goblin that's not to say there isn't complexity in the right places because loadout drops are an extremely popular way to spend your cash where a crate will drop off your own custom loadouts that you made beforehand primary secondary throwables attachments pink [ __ ] bullets it's all there four actually oh the pink bullets oh there he is yes the purple bullets baby damn oh all of these are only ten round mags oh that makes more sense now wow what are you shooting literally every time i shoot someone with that gun their arms and legs and if i hit him in the head literally just rips apart i'm not saying this customization is okay because on a scale from okay to not okay 99 of the [ __ ] i see in game is definitely not okay wait wait wait we got calling cards that are just straight up ass like yes oh yeah if you're about to say i will walk through the valley of the shadow of jeff i will [ __ ] murder you yes [Laughter] damn we got some disgusting calling cards won't be real what do we hit no skulker i shall walk through okay okay yeah personally i'm all about krueger because a chernobyl inspired oxygen thief flute goblin needs to look a certain way while slurping up all the remaining clean air on this planet stalker shadow chernobyl looking at badge your operator looks like a [ __ ] combine police officer he's just straight up slurping up all the oxygen he can get don't make fun of my boy from breathing odin or ak primary because [ __ ] you and your barbie down m4 i want to use something russian that's been around since the mesozoic era and hits like a sledgehammer he owns a [ __ ] hammer damn all of you want me to use the oat and what are we getting on it we can get a muzzle an optic and a perk we got no muzzles we got no optics zero right now we're not a damn perkins sight he's ready yeah he's dead he's dead i have a solution for this stand back backwards baby yes team wife does one day one okay i got two i'm going for three i almost got three i'm all eliminated yes rpg secondary because switching to your pistol is faster than reloading but this hunk of [ __ ] is worth the wait he's right there get out everybody everybody running for his phone no it's okay you cash i'm here i'm here yes baby julia's coming yes king god that explosion was so [ __ ] massive [ __ ] around and find out right now right now right now yes babe i got a solution for that cash i got a solution for that don't worry about that yeah he has a very thick paste now and if you think i'm a piece of [ __ ] for using it you must be new here because i've been a piece of [ __ ] and sending you home to your family in a bucket is just another day at the office if you think i ain't going rpg your ass into outer space you got another thing coming the first thing that i see in chat is just filthy filthy where are you going oh you shot me with a heartbeat oh down oh my god heavenly damn heavenly he just put his whole nut sack on your face the number of weapons and ways to customize those weapons makes for endless possibilities not literally because there is a technical limit to the permutations but you know what i mean from the lmgs to the freedom launchers you're bound to find something i'm gonna use my mouse how does that hit him oh my what not to mention their neato balancing of sniper rifles you know the typical [ __ ] of having your head popped like a grape by some bush monster with a barrett 10 clicks out that looks like a single green pixel on your screen bro these woods are speaking finish right now bro what's up let's go let's go these rooftops speak in korean right now warzone balances this by making the glen of the sniper scope uncomfortably obvious that way he still has the advantage but you know you're being targeted and can choose to either bow out of the engagement or shove a rocket down his throat okay there's a dude there let's hit this guy chad you could totally yet another common frustration that the game mitigates with a small balancing tweak and along those same lines the vehicles are perfect no more terrible acceleration no more lacking durability just the greatest physics you've ever seen and invisible glue for your buddies to stick to oh [ __ ] oh get this [ __ ] sideways [Music] yes kidding yeah oh oh combat get him drink it i got it come on i got it wait a second yes baby [ __ ] yes oh my god oh [Music] oh my god show yourselves cowards hell yeah brother [ __ ] you [ __ ] you hell even the regular physics are amazing they're the perfect balance of i understand how this works and i don't understand how this works i'm gonna eat off the building [ __ ] you i'm gonna take my phone it actually works that way i thought it would fortnight and just let you survive fortnite [ __ ] what the [ __ ] skulker why didn't you explain the physics engine to me before we started playing this is [ __ ] everything else is icing on the cake i could talk about throwables and dumb [ __ ] ways of executing bad guys all day come here girl come here girl come here one baby burn yes die that's crazy uh there's like a whole squad in a store with you is there [ __ ] up and i'm gonna burn your ass alive got one go back here get it we're gonna get it [Music] and it should be no surprise that i have a grand total of zero wins in war zone it doesn't matter how much gamer subs i butt chug i can't keep up with all you zoomers out there all you zoomers in chat do mothers still name their kids corey is that a thing no it's aidan braden caden and whatever i don't know any of those artists by the way chad like if you say pop schmoe pop schmer schmoke like i don't call any of these zoomer pop something awesome by the way that's my litmus test for whether or not you're zoomer if you don't know who alien ant farm is i know that you're a zoomer i uh 100 percent it is a bulletproof format for determining whether or not someone is a zoomer why alien air force alien air force the fact that i've had this much fun with a game i never win speaks to what a treasure it is i may not be stealing first place but i'm definitely stealing the fun from everyone else death mics included no funnel laughs ain't no gulag for a second death [ __ ] it's not about winning to make sure all these other squads don't get to have any fun i should probably kill myself though if you think i'm apologizing you're surely mistaken double kill that was such a wholesome little kid did you hear that no damn i love funny mic now after i after a game rune oh no you're a wonderful human being and i hope you enjoy your game i truly cannot wait to continue squeezing every bit of silliness out of war zone a confetti themed sks without a stock is exactly the type of thing i'm talking about what is this sks all right i gotta equip this [ __ ] that's hideous so the recoil is gonna be [ __ ] insane but if you manage to kill somebody with that well we live in a society you catch so i think i i got it under control i'm down i'm down i'm down from where we get to the left okay yes yes baby i'm pretty sure my wrist is broken but like you know he's dead i don't have any money though i only have like i got bucks okay you got like all of it oh yeah 14 000 you gree [ __ ] rat i [Music] please thermite please i think it went over the building yeah i think you might have wow and a final shout out to gamer stops for being the world's greatest sponsor they still haven't implemented my idea of gamer soups but if you guys keep using code badger i think we'll get them to crack eventually it says that you can uh add this to any liquid so you technically could put it in clam chowder and make games and that's it man that's war zone that's that much fun and i didn't even tell you about the contracts so like fun little mario party minigames to fill out the mid game which is typically boring in battle royales but instead of being all mario they're all murdered and i didn't want to mention it is free to play as in warzone is free to play i have no incentive to tell you that not only has activision not sponsored this video but they've never sponsored any video of mine i guess they just don't like my flavor of [ __ ] posting i don't know how activision did it but they just nailed the perfect balance of this is serious enough to have some structure so i can know what to expect and this is really [ __ ] dumb so you're gonna have a ton of fun with it once again i'd like to thank you so very much for watching and be sure to tune in next time when i tell you about the hard drive space oh what's that we tweaked a single shader and uh i don't know modified a texture panel here's an 84 gigabyte update [ __ ] [Applause] [Music] fake to make you take [Applause] [Music] is can't say [Music]

Channel: TheRussianBadger

Views: 5,865,198

Keywords: warzone, call of duty warzone, warzone funny, modern warfare warzone, warzone gameplay, cod warzone, warzone moment, best warzone class, warzone best gun, warzone season 4, warzone modern warfare, warzone best moments, warzone best, warzone highlights, warzone dlc, modern warfare, warzone funny moments, warzone best plays, warzone battle royale, modern warfare funny, modern warfare highlights, call of duty battle royale, modern warfare battle royale, therussianbadger

Id: 7kNfu8Q83J8

Length: 21min 5sec (1265 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 15 2020