Future mother in law demands I sign a prenup before the wedding

[Music] i adored my future in-laws when i first met them apparently they were so excited to meet me they threw an uncomfortably lavash party about it she sent bf at the time an email with selections of food and wines for me to make made a point to say pick whatever you want so i did i think that was actually a test in retrospect but they are lovely to my daughters considering they only have a grandson future dh and i come from drastically different backgrounds i was poor growing up from a single-parent household and he grew up wealthy went to college to go into the family business i love my job and i do pretty well on my own future dh still makes more than me by a lot while we got engaged last year it was super sweet and intimate and involved our children it was amazing future cell through an engagement party and her and future male asked immediately to help with the wedding i said of course and they went all in getting married in october it's going to be a [ __ ] affair they have pretty much totally taken it over and i don't really care they are the ones with the expensive tastes and the million family friends who must come it's not mine or future dh's first wedding so i just told them to go crazy i'm genuinely just excited to get married to him future mill has made several comments about my career and even went as far as asking my boss privately about buying a portion of the small company i work for first i'd heard of it was from my boss i was p and called future phil first because he's the businessman there he was confused but said it sounded like a good investment then i called future dh and asked him to tell future mill to stay in her lane that did not happen which brings me to last night we are having family dinner though my kids are with their dad and stepson is with his mom future mill starts with she has something important to discuss with us and it's a pronoun they stated that they want their son to be protected because his ex took him to the cleaner and asked if i'd consider it future dh is literally nervously pushing food around on his plate i said i understand their concern and told future dh that i think this is a matter we should discuss privately in odds and future mill pipes in saying this is a family matter considering the considerable inheritance and actually pulls out a draft of a prenuptial agreement our names and everything about us including an overview of my financials i asked them how the hell they had that info and apparently future dh gave them rough estimates so he knew this was coming she then says please look this over and let me know if you have any revisions and if you are agreeable we can proceed i was actually stunned asked what do they mean proceed like we are not getting married if i don't told them that's not their call to make and i'm uncomfortable with having this sprung on me less than two months from our wedding she reminds me that they are paying for the wedding and that this is something i should strongly consider like being hell ducking hostage i'm defensive future dh looks like a kid who knows he's about to get in trouble one way or another and i'm getting p i told them straight up that one i know what he pays in alignment and child support and his ex did not take him to the cleaners too i'm not even opposed to the prin up i just think future dh should have approached me and this should have been a discussion a year ago i start to thumb through the draft right there in front of their family and god and everyone i told them that i'd consider it but i'd have an attorney make some revisions like what well hypothetically if future dh has an affair that's not the same as mutually agreeing that it's not working out mill actually gasps when i say that if she had on pearls she would have clutched them her baby would never do that well i would also not duck him out of his his family money but we are all just protecting ourselves right we table it and say we'll discuss with an attorney i get and move forward in the car i lay into future dh i was totally unprepared and having my ducking marriage held over my head he knew it would be coming he could have talked to me about it and didn't he's apologetic but says their business and that's how they operate and there's politics involved i'm livid i slept at my place which we were preparing to sell we got coffee this morning to talk and i'm not relenting here i'm fine with pronup i make my own money and while my standards aren't close to this i've provided a stable life for me and my kids and i was excited to grow that with him and stepson plus we can pay for this wedding ourselves i would uninvite all the random ass people they invited and that would never fly mill has called three times and texted asking what i've come up with and it's not even lunch so there's that just a quick update i appreciate everyone's responses honestly i'm ducking exhausted one thing that i did not realize was how people i love and respect had reservations without telling me this is what happened yesterday first i went for coffee with future dh we argued his responses were basically that's just the way they are and nothing was accomplished next i came into work where i shared with my bosses and coworkers the events of the evening they are surprised but not surprised inventing one boss said like i'd ever sell my business to her last name i was even nervous about letting one work here lol referring to me something i didn't consider was that it will get spun like i refused to sign up and up asked them if they were okay with that because our business is very public image based he literally shrugged and said dukkhan next i went to an attorney's office he was eager he told me a lot of what some of you told me they can write anyone in or out of their estate it happens all the time so a print up doesn't mean anything in that department what he was concerned about is the timing and could be illegal and the attorney who drafted that new as much too but i assume that he does enough shady business with them and that he was cool with it i didn't do anything but consult with him then i went to another attorney who is a great friend and facilitated my first divorce we were talking about all the clever and petty ways to write a bren up and then he stopped and said is this what you want to be doing no i want to be at work day dreaming about my honeymoon that was the first time i cried i'd been so caught up in being b that i hadn't felt sad yet and i'm really ducking sad next i went to see my mom she hated my ex mo and she didn't get the warm fuzzies from future mill and felt looked down on by her i wish she would have told me that before she worked her off to provide for me and my sister and she does not ducking deserve to feel that way all my future mill did was marry well we drank some wine about it i told her my ideas of how to move forward and she supports them lastly i go back to my house and called future dh over apparently future mill has contacted him all day about what the plans were they are both desperate told him that i've got concerns about getting married at all he says duck the print up we can get married without it whatever to not cancel the wedding reminded him of the story of my ex five months before we got married i found out he was talking to several ladies online we worked it out but that's what i was thinking about when i got married i'm not getting married which in the back of my mind again he doesn't think it's the same and it's not but it's a breach of trust he suggests ducking off somewhere and getting married again it's not the wedding it's being married he's devastated and i tell him i'm calling future mill he suggests doing it together so we called her and tell her we'd like to postpone until we can work things out she states that we cannot do that like you gonna have a wedding if i don't come she says one you are obviously after money too ex-wife wouldn't have done this yeah well you also think she's stupid and apparently think i'm too so that's something we need to work out she yells a bit and says she is not paying for any wedding of ours if this doesn't happen in october that's fine she asks future dh if he's taking myring back it's not like a family heirloom or anything and he bought it so that's not her business he asks why he would do that and she contends i've shown my true colors he tells her it's not her business that's it for now i'm really tired and really sad and maybe a little hungaver and so is future dh he knows he ducked up but i also don't want to put my kids through another divorce and just want to be more careful he's calling today to see if we can change our honeymoon plans to something closer and just treat it as a vacation with the kids i expect this is just beginning with future mill but future dh and i have more to worry about than that right now edit my name dropped and took them out i have been married to my husband james for nearly three years now together for seven we met at uni and have been going strong ever since james dad eric divorced his ex-wife four years ago he then met his now wife mindy and married her very quickly it was a whole drama at our wedding because eric brought mindy and they were being really mean to james mom sarah who is the greatest mill in the world after that james distanced himself a bit from eric they got back into regular contact a year ago we usually have lunch at their place once a month or so and it has been going great we can't get past that eric's wife is younger than us but we try to ignore it a few months ago we found out we were pregnant it was not planed but we are very happy nonetheless we broke the news to everyone in person we didn't do cheesy gifts or anything so then came the lunch at eric's place and we told him and without even congratulating us he told us mindy is pregnant too since then eric and mindy go out of their way to outshine my pregnancy it is really stupid but i feel like i'm in some kind of race for example you know how you can get either a standard ultrasound or one of those 4d ones i posted my standard one on ice instagram and four minutes after that mindy posts hers that is one of the fancy ones and she tags me she basically said this this is more expensive but so worth it to see the little one in detail i recommend to get this one the next time it irked me so much and i don't know why it's just a stupid posts but what took the cake that she put her baby shower date on the same date as mine she knew when i was having it because she asked me she made it a whole facebook event eric is very affluent so they are going all out i'm talking a hired band fancy virgin cocktails with a barista a whole of venue etc of course james family is torn because while i invited them first they also want to go to minda's party and support eric james now wants to cancel the baby shower all together he is really bitter especially because he feels like this baby is a do-over child for his father as eric is now more involved than he was with james instead of enjoying what should be our wonderful journey to parenthood james is always fuming and bitter about his father and that leads to me a pregnant and hormonal and secure woman to be in a constant state of stress i cry almost every day and i can't enjoy this pregnancy the pregnancy alone is very difficult as i have high blood pressure back knee nausea and every time i sneeze i feel like i peed my pants i just need help or even just some encouragement thanks so much so my husband and i announced our pregnancy to his parents on february 1st we presented it using baby items mixed into regular birthday items for his dad's birthday his dad was genuinely happy but his mom gave me a genuine stink eye i mean this woman glared at me keep in mind husband and i have been together six years and i haven't had too much of an issue with mill so this was unexpected after announcing to mill and father-in-law she took it upon herself to make an announcement on facebook i told husband to call her immediately and tell her to take it down she did but not without having some form of opinion on how she did nothing wrong i'm now 17 weeks and have just started showing around 14 weeks before showing she would make a point to always touch my stomach and talk in baby talk she is literally the only person to touch my stomach nobody in my family has done so i'm not fond of people touching me and she knew i was uncomfortable with it she continued to do this until having to be told by husband that i don't care for it after he told her i went to her house where she said i know he said you don't like people touching your stomach but i have to give my grand baby some love and proceeded to touch my stomach and talk in baby talk it absolutely peed me off that even though she knew how i felt she disregarded my feelings to do what she wanted to do due to the pandemic husband was not allowed to go into room with me during ultrasound that revealed the baby's gender because of this we decided to have a reveal to ourselves and share it on facebook live the idea would be that we would be surprised along with everyone else husband's cousin set up reveal for us mill was not happy with his at all she kept insisting that we tell her first before revealing to everyone else she knew we didn't want to know beforehand husband had to finally tell her that this is what we were doing and she had no say in it we knew that we couldn't trust her to set up the reveal and she is petty enough to have ruined the surprise for us so we invited her to our reveal instead of having her watch it on facebook we had our ultrasound today and afterwards stopped by her house on the way to cousin's house so husband could go to the bathroom he's bathroom shy while there she came up to the car to talk to me and started in on our reveal she told me it was nonsense and started raising her voice about that's not how it was done back then i informed her that there is a pandemic going on and we are not allowed to have large gatherings that if this wasn't happening things would be different so of course she's still mad but shuts her mouth and agrees to come to our house at 6 for the reveal fast forward to reveal and it's me husband stepson mill father-in-law my sister and her mother we gather outside and stay apart from each other our reveal was smoke b only thing available as our original reveal was not able to be completed in time husband and i are on facebook live and recording and we light the smoke bombs as soon as the blue comes out she starts yelling no and crying i'm trying my best to ignore her but can see my sister's mom giving me a look of what the hell luckily the facebook live messed up and the video didn't record so my family and friends didn't have to witness a run called for meltdown we were recorded to share with them and of course all of them are happy and supportive mill and father-in-law leave and a few minutes later husband's cousin is calling me and telling me that mill had called her and was crying and saying that she wanted a girl and our smoke b were on it truly makes me feel like crap this is my first and only pregnancy husband and i are raising his son from teenage pregnancy and don't want to go over two children and she's really putting a huge damper on it i have had so much love and support from everyone else in my life and then to have to sour it is insulting she showed me how selfish she really is i've heard stories but now i've seen the real person she is husband is tired of me saying anything about it because mill watches stepson husband and i are both essential employees and he doesn't want me to pee her off to where she won't watch him while we work so now i feel like i have to accept her feelings about my pregnancy and deal with it which is unfair my mother-in-law had an affair with my best friend my 24 wife 24 wants me to start being around her family more how do i become comfortable enough to be in the presence of my mother-in-law currently i'm unable to be around my mother-in-law without feeling super uncomfortable it's clear through my body language that i'm uncomfortable and my wife doesn't want me to make the other members of her family uncomfortable because of me i already had bad feelings about my mother-in-law before all this happened so the affair just made things 10 times worse she might have codependency problems because i've always been uncomfortable with how she always wanted to be close to me she would always force i love yous and force hugs on me i even went as far to tell her not to hug me or tell me that she loves me the affair went on for a year my best friend was living at my in-law's house during the whole thing he just got out of college and was paying rent one thing led to another and my best friend and mother-in-law found themselves in a weird place yes the husband my father-in-law was in the house the whole time and he had no idea so my real problem is that i don't want my mother-in-law to affect me so deeply my wife cares about her family so much and i want to make it easy as possible for her to process the whole thing by not being so affected edit the husband did not know about the affair while it was happening he found out a few months after the affair ended because the mill told him [Music] do [Music] you

Channel: Ask Girl

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Keywords: reddit girl, reddit mil, reddit mother in law, justnomil, reddit wedding, reddit marriage, reddit bride, reddit fiance, reddit, r/askreddit, r/ girl, r/ mil, r/justnomil, r/ wedding, r/ marriage, r/ bride, r/ fiance, r/, askreddit girl, askreddit mil, askreddit mother in law, askreddit wedding, askreddit marriage, askreddit bride, askreddit fiance, askreddit

Id: OyyO_mkPhac

Length: 18min 49sec (1129 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 16 2020