My mother in law hired a private investigator to follow me

my mother-in-law hired a private investigator to follow me I have been married nearly ten years to my wife and we have a wonderful son we are all healthy and generally as happy as we've ever been together but it wasn't always that way we've had a lot of problems and fights along the way that brought us to the brink of separation and most of them were caused by my mill my mill and Phil deceased three years followed my wife their elder of two daughters from their home country in South America to the United States shortly after I met my wife here in the US their younger daughter my soul has been here for nearly twenty years my wife has always been open about the as she endured as a child at the hands of her mom going to hospital after hurting herself while playing with friends and getting be so badly that the doctor had to remove mill from the hospital room for example my wife sees that as typical for a kid where she's from and laughs it off I've also seen firsthand milk all my wife fat and insist that I'm going to cheat on her because she's eats too much true my wife gained a lot of weight after our son was born but I never let my support of my wife waver and in the last two years she's eaten right and worked her off to lose weight waking up early to go to the gym I'm incredibly proud of her and her mom has stopped the constant the rating that I still don't think the result is worth what mill put her through to say that my mill is the most manipulative person I've ever known as completely accurate most recently my soul has run into some problems with depression D and alcohol which has kept my mill entirely occupied she would say that soul needs her when in fact she is absolutely destructive to buy my soul's mental health and her relationship middle does not make any effort to curb Souls problems if anything she makes it worse she drinks with her and then convinces her to do really ill-conceived things like driving to her husband my bills office to see if he's cheating on her or goading her into thinking that bills secretary is driving by the house and stalking her I should say that I've known bill longer than I've known my wife bill met sill at my house around five years ago he asked if he should ask her out and I said no she's got a lot of work to do but he didn't listen that's on him but that's also their story not mine mill has been preoccupied with the other daughter and has mostly left us alone but it wasn't always that way if I can summarize the years since my wife and I were married Mill and Phil gave us 125 cares a down payment for our first house together no strings attached legally speaking as well a down payment from a third party requires a notarized document showing it is a gift and not alone which was executed prior to sale shortly after the purchase they moved in with us and caused havoc the rating as above and other things not worth extending this post for two years later when I let them know they were welcome to visit but could no longer stay they demanded the money back we sold the house and wrote them a check best money I've ever spent my wife newborn son and I moved to an apartment to figure out our next move nil lost her husband 64 at the time a truly patient and cool guy to a sudden heart attack and moved into the apartment directly next to ours a year later we still hadn't decided what to do or saved enough for the place we wanted cylinder were getting serious and found a house about one hour away and middle moved into their apartment because she has next to no income side bar I'm fairly certain my wife is supporting her financially that's so far down the list of things that are wrong with this situation that I can a blind eye so finally the mill is not living with us but is instead one mile away a small but meaningful victory eight months later give or take we found a house in a terrific neighborhood about 8 miles away the home is old and our ultimate plan is to tear it down and rebuild but it's solid in great shape everything works and my wife has come to love it my mill however upon learning of the purchase told my wife a new one for two full weeks telling her what our it is and what huge mistake we were making my wife has always continued to serve as the unfortunate buffer between my Mills ratha me I heard none of it and dealt with none of it I recognized it as what it was mills lashing out over her loss of proximity and control over another daughter that was nearly a year ago we've never been happier my wife is obviously happier with herself due to her weight loss and working out being mostly successful at work and with being a mom while she wouldn't admit it outright I know she's happier because she's physically further away from mill and spends less time with her I have to hurry this up as I have a dinner to go to so let's get back to the subject line today my bill told me that mill visited his parents and let them know that she hired a private investigator to follow me about 18 months ago because she was convinced I was cheating on my wife while I'm curious to know what this guy Gayle found out I'm in no way concerned about it it must have been the easiest money most boring week of this person's investigative career that oddly isn't what he rotated me my below so told me that my son's recent digestive problems he heard through the grapevine somehow were the result of too much diet coke we don't have soda in our house I'm not militant about it but we don't drink it and my son doesn't have access to it outside of Mills apartment I've specifically told her not to give him any I'm about 85% confident in what bill tells me I've known him a while but he's also currently going through a lot and has some cause to get me on his side which I already am anyway there's more but I really need to go I feel like by standing by my wife and pretending my evil mill doesn't exist is currently the best course of action but I'd like to hear from the rest of the same world what I could be doing better and anything that speeds my milt award a violent demise would just be bonus literally everyone on the planet would be bettered by this objectively speaking hello so I will try to make this short if possible I'm a bit confused as to how I should continue this relationship first of all in mail my wife is 50-50 split between having her head deep in her mother's be and not wanting to have anything to do with her it's complicated my relationship to mill was always awkward she didn't want her precious daughter to leave home and build up her own family so she always tried to shackle my wife as near to her as possible and used every possible trick up her sleeve to achieve exactly that from fake illness to emotional stirrups to last-second unnoticed vacations we had to come within my wife not once until now grasp that what her mother was doing was wrong so around six months ago Milind phil bought a new house smaller one as they didn't need all that space at their old home at first I personally wasn't interested in that house but somehow my mill convinced my wife to convince me to buy the house from them so we can buy cheap and live with one less worry I was completely against the purchase of that house it was incredibly near to the new home 30 minutes walking distance and the amount they asked for four hundred and fifty K was not justified for the state the house was in long story short my wife got extremely upset with me not wanting the house and I just gave up and said yes so yay we own a house now for info we got the keys documents everything is on paper nothing is in their name anymore it's all on us now and for the past few months of us moving in renovating a bit here and there all seemed well they never came to visit we always visited them and the house was fine after some work still a lot to fix but I noticed a few things whenever we are gone for more than eight plus hours or a few days and then return to the house it seems like someone was inside I could have sworn some of my stuff was moved a few times it smelled like gas as if I left something on the kitchen running and the sink in one of the bathrooms was wet even so I always wipe it dry after using even my wife found it odd and after the gas incident she was alarmed so I figured mill has probably a key still in her possession that we don't know of and she snoops around I bought two cheap cameras and installed them so I could see the entrance and the living room as those two are connected plus as someone suggested on here I changed out the locks by buying complete he knew secure doors and having them changed out as well as new windows security as all of those were old two days after everything was changed I got a text from mill saying that a more evil person trying to destroy everything she loves what and that she wants the house back from us as she is n back quote t tolerating how we are treating her old property I asked her where this came from all of a sudden and her answer was you back quill tree destroying our old home the door was a precious memento and we sholden that quote t have changed it out without asking her first I told her that house was no longer hers and we could do whatever we wanted didn't that quote T hear back from her until now she now wants her house back because we back quote we apparently not fit to be homeowners she is giving us back four hundred and thirty K of the 450 cares they already spent 20 K and want everything back I told her to go eat grass and that the home is now ours I already had the police at my door can you imagine what it looked like for me to explain to them that this house was legally mine they laughed and the worst my wife says to just get the old door backin I donned that quote t get my mill that I'm okay with but I don't back quote t get how my wife can be so deep up her nonsense if it were for me I would go no contact and leave it at that but my wife is just glued to her I can that quote t even enjoy marriage anymore it doesn't backquote t feel like her and I it feels like her I and her mother Phil is alright just a normal person most of the time fed up with Mills nonsense too but he can back whoa t be bothered to actually hold her back in stressed angry and really disappointed advice please so quite a lot happened since yesterday I stopped answering most comments as I was just taking in every owns advice thoughts and own experiences first some info again some people were concerned dropping off the door would mean she could copy the keys not possible as both the door and locks were replaced with high security keys I know a locksmith could still duplicate them but that would take some time some were worried about birth control don't worry I can't even think of s right now concerning security no I did not catch mill on camera I installed them in conjunction with a change of the door and locks and I don't see a point in spending money on more cameras ring doorbells etc samaa sniff mill had more children nope single child I paid the entire 450 K my wife didn't pay for the house renovations nothing she bounces from one job to another trying to find something fitting this has always been the case I don't mind supporting her but I feel a bit leached off sometimes now to the actual update I called Phil and asked him if he would meet me for a coffee and that I wanted to talk bless him he did exactly that we sat down I asked him to please just listen and not interrupt I must have talked for close to two hours this man sipped his coffee listened sighed and said the following in short Mills plan was it to sell us the house rubbed Wyatt making us literally homeless so we cold and say no to her offer so we would live with her and Phil Phil did try to hold mill back but failed he was extremely upset about the police call upset about only offering 430 came back and upset in general that's going this far to shackle her daughter his offer and advice take mils 430 K offer I will set up a legally binding contract under Phil in myself he will give me the 20k plus what I put in renovations et Cie without mill knowing that would bring me close to 500k he told me to pack it up and just leave after a stern talk with wife she won't wake up if it's me vs mill as long as one of us has enclosed proximity he looked sad and upset we hugged at the end and he told me to not be too saddened by all of this and sometimes we need to make hard decisions and I would regret if I didn't do this there was more talk obviously but this is a short and interesting part back home I talked with my wife can tone and manner she didn't see no evil from her mother said her mother needs a lot of attention and love like most elderly ladies and oftentimes she sounds meaner than she actually is but that she only wants the best for us us know what's best for her and only her own intentions we argued a bit back and forth and my wife is 100% behind her mother and said I should get some therapy to get out of the obsession I have with demonizing her mother I stood up and left slept at a friend's that night I offered couples an individual counseling it was tonight apparently and the only one that needs special attention as she called it and I guess that backquote s exactly what I need special attention by myself for myself I already messaged Phil it's not worth it thank you everyone thank you for taking the time and helping out and listening to someone you don't know I might take this homeless opportunity and money to get out a bit explore and breathe freely for once hello it's been four months now since I came here to ask for advice maybe some of you still remember what it was about well a lot happened as you know Phil offered to repay me behind his wife's back well at first I thought to just take this offer and move on but after reading what some of you wrote about how it sounded too good to be true and why I should give him I refused I don't want this to get too long so here is what happened the past four months kicked my wife out back at her mother's I still own the house got all the repairs and changes done since then I've been renting it out gave her her old precious memento doll back ex mil got handcuffed and had a nice drive around back in the car of the police after she tried to assault the new house tenants as this was her house just two weeks ago my ex wife tried to contact me and how she can't keep living with her mother but she doesn't have enough income to live on her own have been traveling a lot after I got everything sorted out been to northern and southern Germany met tons of nice people and saw some beautiful remote places all in all life after kicking out my then wife has been but I never realized how shackled thoughts and actions were while being with her after we moved closer to her parents I now live in a nice two-and-a-half apartment near a small city enjoy myself and take everything slowly focus on work myself and just relaxing for once you won't believe how happy I am that we never had children together my ex-boyfriend and I were together for just over three years we broke up because our parents my mother his father got engaged they pulled a lot of SH but I'm going to try and condense it they spent months referring to us as siblings and introducing us to people as our children and constantly joking about us as though we were full blood relatives when there's not even a distant relation when they got engaged there came even more comments about how we were going to be a regular nuclear family with a married couple and their children and mum telling me I should think of my ex and his sister as my siblings Abid before the break-up I had a pregnancy scare I told my mom who said it was good I wasn't pregnant because how will you explain to the grandbabies that you have the same parents they got engaged and had an engagement party where my ex wasn't in attendance but I was at the party my mother gave a speech and said thanks to our children X and op for helping create this wonderful little family unit of ours aside from your incest I then had to deal with that for the rest of the party and X and I wound up breaking up within a week because now our entire extended family and family friends were joking about it the wedding was on Valentine's Day we hadn't spoken since the break-up but X contacted me and asked how I wanted to handle it and we agreed either we both go or neither of us go we both flip-flopped back and forth on if we were going or not but ultimately agreed to go because it would look worse if we didn't go at all and we were both asked to be in the wedding party it went about the same as any other wedding would go right up until the DJ said that our parents wanted to dedicate a song to their children and then he played sweet home alabama' cue laughter me and X left after that but my mum followed she said it was just a joke we didn't need to get all huffy about it and begged us to come back inside we refused and stood outside while we waited for the next bus then we got to talking and long story short we agreed to pick up where we left off as we'd been apart a few months but all the feelings were still there we'd not had any other relationships in this time and he even still had stuff at my place we agreed that it was stupid of us to let other people dictate our relationship and also agreed to severely limit contact with our parents this time around not full no contact but very very low contact we've also booked some sessions with the couple's counselor starting Sunday today my mum asked me to meet her for coffee and I went thinking that this would be a perfect time to tell her we are back together talk about boundaries and initiate the very very low contact my boyfriend and I had agreed on however I ran through the rain to get there and didn't think to touch up the concealer I'd put on the Hickey my boyfriend left on my neck last night mum immediately sees it and asks where it's from I was about two seconds away from George glass eye in her but then she says it's from your brother isn't it I then snot he's not my brother she now knows everything she needs to know and basically says that she's been married less than a week and I'm already trying to ruin it I got a bit upset and responded that she essentially ruined my relationship of three years in favour of her relationship of less than 18 months and we've only just started rebuilding what they ruined she then says clearly we didn't do a good enough job if you're already mending it I directly asked if she was trying to break us up she admitted that she and my new step that had entered into their relationship with the sole intention of ending ours because we said once in passing that we have been looking at houses a bit under an hour away so we could have a garden for future kids and they didn't want to have to drive her to our round trip to see us when they realised they actually liked each other wanted to get married they then became even more committed to ending our relationship because they'd rather we were heartbroken than let their friends and family think that they were odd so this whole thing started as a way to make sure we didn't move an hour away from them and now it's them trying to make sure their friends and family don't think they are weird my mum left an hour ago my boyfriend is at work right now phone off totally oblivious I'm still at the coffee place writing this in a state of shock what do I do with this information I know I need to tell my boyfriend when he gets off work but how do we approach either parent going forward or begin to deal with this whole thing

Channel: R Girl

Views: 173,287

Rating: 4.8643165 out of 5

Keywords: reddit MIL, reddit mother in law, reddit girl, reddit, just no mil, MIL, mother in law, mother in law ruined my marriage, reddit marriage, reddit relationship, askreddit, askreddit girl, askreddit mil, askreddit mother in law, r/ mil, r/, r/askreddit, askreddit marriage, r/relationship, crazy mother in law

Id: _PnSCCF78O8

Length: 20min 15sec (1215 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 21 2020