I don't want my sister in law at my wedding

[Music] how my fiance and i met when i now 25 female was 17 and in collage i moved in with my aunt and uncle and their oldest son my cousin kelvin then 23 male now 31 and i were close and i ended up at functions of his all the time i've spent time with wayne then 23 male now 31 and his then fiance lay now wife then 23 female now 31 and i'd consider them good acquaintances first met them at a bbq of kelvins when i was 18 and liked them from the get-go thought they were an amazing couple and genuinely wanted to be friends from the first time i met them wayne and leigh get engaged it's really cute hear all the stories from kelvin like i have since day one he's a huge gossip not invited to the wedding but that's fine i don't know them well enough and it's a small wedding we saw each other at a bunch of calvin's events bbqs new year's parties and all that when lei's mom died several months before the wayne and lay wedding i spent a night with calvin making food to send don't know them too well but both lay and wayne joked about me marrying the little brother kane i think they're great people and i liked spending time with them several months before leigh and wayne's wedding when my fiance and i were 21 kelvin took me to wayne and lee's place to meet my now fiance kane we hit it off immediately and now four years later are engaged the drama lay's wedding shower kane and had met over a month beforehand and were officially dating i was invited to lay's bridal shower by kelvin kelvin calls me and says basically all of lay's friends bail so they end up doing a boy and girl shower and invite all of wayne's guy friends to pad the party lei's two sisters weren't even going kelvin asks if i want to go to help pad the guest list i buy a 60 gift and i'm excited to go at this point i wanted a friendship with lei and was happy to be included even if it was just through kelvin ff island fm il flew in from out of province for the shower at the time of the shower i'll be meeting my boyfriend's mother for the first time there even though it's a boy and girl shower and ffil is in town he's not invited to the shower i drove to the shower with calvin and kane fmile is dropped off by ffil who didn't stay excited to meet fmil but kane and i decided slay's big day and we want to keep things under wraps for a bit and introduce me later in a more neutral setting i mean this politely but they ruined that when fmil walks in kane and i are sitting beside each other on the couch lay starts telling us we need to tell everyone what's going on the only person in the room who didn't know was fmil kane respond with it's your day we can talk about this later lay insisted i say no thanks it's your day we can talk about this later leigh turns to my fmil and says this is my name kane's new girlfriend luckily despite the awkward forced introduction my fmil and i get along beautifully during the shower during one of the games i won a rover-sized joke ring kelvin insists in front of everyone kane fake proposes to me as a joke to send to my mother it's a thing and everyone is there well kane and i have a photo opus once again against my will i become the focus of lay's wedding shower everyone gets thank you cards for the shower except me wayne and lee's wedding rehearsal the rehearsal dinner is the next day and kane invites me i meet my ffl and he's also great him and i get along well i'm there to help organize offer to dooley's hair for her free of course i'm a professional hair stylist play music and help with the background stuff while they rehearse for the wedding i'm not invited to the wedding even though kane and i are dating because of lay and wayne and kane is the best man kane doesn't get a plus one nor was i invited to the wedding both kane and fm i'll offer to pay for my seat the bride and groom hadn't given a real number to the hall yet and lair refused to let me come it's still a point of contention between fmil kane and lay i sent a wedding gift with calvin anyways no thank you card again i find out years later that they said kane could have a plus one but it was only okay if it was a girl he used to know from this province when he was little i would like to stress kane and i were officially dating at this time kicking kane out wayne and leigh go on their honeymoon and according to kane come back different people they sit kane down and rudely demand kane leaves the house and direct him to an expensive place for furniture i'm a nike fan wayne and lee prefer more name brand the irony being my ikea things have lasted longer than their things i find out later this had nothing to do with kane and lay was really just being petty over the fact that lay's little sister was living with them for a while but wayne hates her and after months of issues between them told the little sister she had to go lay kicked kane out of the house as payback for what wayne had done to her little sister even though kane had never been disrespectful nor a point of contention between the two he gave money cooked and cleaned pulled his fair share none of those thing lay's little sister did wayne's convocation dinner kane ends up at a dinner with his and wayne's parents and lay it was wayne's phd graduation dinner i wasn't invited because of how my work and commuting would have worked out kane gets back to me that lay spends a portion of the dinner talking about how hair stylists are overrated and charged too much and aren't worth anything at all and shouldn't be paid well they don't deserve it kane said he called her out and asked her not to speak poorly of the career choices of other people especially his significant other a little while later she posts on facebook looking for a new stylist too orcs i don't offer i'm weirded out at this point and i figured she's going to be a prickly client if she's this bad in person holidays thanksgiving the first holiday to come up i usually host for my immediate family and extend the invite to lei and wayne along with kelvin so they have some common ground and aren't outnumbered with my immediate family kane gets back to me with back quote lay said that we haven't been dating that long and that she doesn't think that's appropriate even though at this point i've been to a bunch of her events and have met her family although kane and i are invited and expected at their thanksgiving with lay's really horrible little sister christmas our first christmas lay and wayne host a friend's christmas at their house kane and i are invited calvin is also at this event too although i'm great at being a social butterfly at events that aren't mine nor do i know a lot of people i tend to stay close to my other and observe i try and stay close to kane but wayne grabs my arm and pulls me out and tells me to stop hiding and be more attentive everyone gets drunk i spend lots of time with kane and wayne drunk wayne tells me all about his childhood issues with dad lays the nicest i've ever seen her since kane and i started dating she didn't talk to me really just nice and happy with everyone else in the room kinda started to feel included christmas itself is a busy time kane and i spent christmas eve sleeping over at my family's house lay and wayne wanted him to go up to lazan's home a woman cain's only met once at leigh and wayne's wedding kane declined to spend christmas with people he doesn't know christmas morning we face time with his parents christmas dinner with my dad's side and then drive to wayne and lays for desert all of which kane said was preplanned kane walks in first i walk in behind him and before i even get a hello wayne says back quote or we didn't think you were coming just to me not kane with a tone of shock and clear confusion that i'm there i drop off a gift basket and kane had left wayne's gift in the car i go get it while i'm at the car they ask kane why i'm there turns out they bought wayne the same gift kane got for wayne even though kane had asked lay first if he could buy it and she said yes i gave a food and wine gift basket no gift for me i was hosting a christmas dinner with my family on boxing day have them a couple weeks notice they declined easter i've been in the picture almost a year now once again politely extend an invite to the dinner i'm hosting and they decline they have no plans to host an event themselves i offer to host a private breakfast in hopes of maybe they'll do an event with us kane is very family oriented and wanted to see them and i have and always will do my best to accommodate whoever i can so he can see them they did come to that it becomes a theme them not doing any events with us unless they host or it's private becomes a theme for all following holidays for three years i usually had to arrange my parents and three siblings around wayne and lay's schedules so kane got to spend holidays with them christmas year 3 being the first exception when wayne and kane's parents are down and i offer to host a large christmas dinner with everyone kane's parents and mine get along well and they were excited to have a big function one which lay and wayne couldn't go out of without looking horrible christmas year four once they had on fu they showed up late to a dinner cane and i hosted with my family and left early wayne was great and involved lee didn't participate much baby spent the entire time in the car seat until we walked away from my family she didn't want him seen nor touched birthdays i was invited to all of lay and wayne's birthday parties went and tried my best to be pleasant calvin and i would get snappy with each other sometimes i have received two happy birthday texts from wayne on the third and fourth year kane and i were dating kelvin's day kelvin has a champagne birthday and we all go up to his family cottage i bring up games and champagne treats and have people helping set up while wayne is distracting calvin at the dock lay spent the entire time eye rolling and huffing and puffing and not wanting to help she even pulled all of her friends away when she'd had enough to go to the dock and left kane and are alone to finish later lay and her friends refused to let us have room at the fire pit leaving us to go off by ourselves once everyone was called up to where the party was lay wasn't talking to us anymore kane's day kane has a champagne birthday we went camping and i hosted an outdoor bbq for everyone lay and wayne only spoke to kelvin and ignored most of the guests for most of the party people kept commenting on how exclusive and rude they were i always felt like since kane and i started dating late stopped liking me kane's birthday was when strangers to the situation started commenting on it for it to be that obvious to others was shocking but validating lei's pregnancy the announcement wayne invited kane out for a boys brunch last minute wayne changes it and invited me to the night before the early breakfast i'd already made plans with my family and wasn't going to cancel last minute for people who are mean to me kane comes home and is happy makes a comment about how the weight of [ __ ] up kane and wayne's coffee order i questioned what happened to lay's coffee and kane said she never got one that's a red flag to me because she always drinks coffee especially in the early a.m i ask if she's pregnant and he gets this smile on his face that confirms it cain then proceeds to tell me that yes but i can't tell anyone and i'm not allowed to know because they told him he had to keep the secret and he was specifically told not to tell me now they also said the same thing to fmil about ffill not knowing too however that's all kinds of [ __ ] up telling a significant other to lie to the other rude as [ __ ] in my opinion i explained to kane that i really don't appreciate his quick willingness to hide something from me i asked if in reverse if i was pregnant and told kane he was allowed to tell wayne but wayne couldn't tell lay what would cain tell me kane said that he'd call me out for being a petty [ __ ] and that i wasn't allowed to do that i said exactly this was the last straw for me it's one thing to treat me like [ __ ] from the get-go but to hide a joyful clan baby from me was all kinds of [ __ ] up i'd been around for three years at that point and really showed me their opinion of me wayne has a really big issue with ffil in the upbringing which i don't disagree with but to put me in the same category just showed me their opinion of me i tell kane that i have played nice for long enough and i was done kane was free to do as he wished and do whatever he wanted with no questions or disapproval there his and i had no resentment to him having a relationship with them i was cutting contact for the next little bit until i felt i was in a headspace that could handle them again kane tells me i'm being unreasonable and that i shouldn't do that i said he never defended me in the first place or even to this day so nothing was going to change i said i didn't want to make a big deal out of anything if they ask i'm busy working or sick and can't make it for the next little bit kane tells me lying is wrong and i say i agree you shouldn't have agreed to lie about the baby in the first place the boy's confrontation kane ends up in atomos with wayne against my advice i had told him wayne was not the issue leigh was and if he wasn't talking to her nothing was changing but being pregnant kane shouldn't be bring up any issues to either of them right now i wasn't there but basically what i hear from kane is that wayne lost it on kane kane asked what the issue was and wayne said it was nothing we were making it up kane asked that they not dictate what kane cannon can't tell me it's not their place if they want kane to keep something from me they just shouldn't tell kane the thing wayne goes off about how he should be able to have secrets with his brother and that it wasn't fair for kane to tell wayne what he can and cannot do kane asked directly three times do you guys respect my girlfriend wayne always diverted and didn't answer kane comes home and tells me that there is clearly an issue but wayne won't address it and that the convo ended in a outburst from wayne the phd guy who has never fought threatening to throw kane out the window and that he was going to hurt him kane the semi-pro rugby player laughed and told him if wayne was going to start a fight kane was going to finish it kane ended up at wayne's the next day to say that he's sorry it ended up at threats wayne left it with that there isn't an issue and that it's all just a misundering i'm always included in things after this other than the baby shower up until the birth most of the time kane was invited over was on a saturday when i was working and they knew i wouldn't be available lay's birthday wayne invited both kane and i from the beginning i told kane i was still mad and after the convo him and wayne had that i told kane he shouldn't have had i had no interest in going it would be too awkward kane tells me that they planned on announcing the pregnancy there i said that's great i'm still not going have fun without me kane goes and finds out that without me there there wasn't a baby announcement all their friends knew the friends had been told first fmi old second last and cain last out of every one they knew if it had been announced at the birthday dinner i would have been the only one to not know the news the girls confrontation wayne's birthday is next and lay continues her theme of her making a facebook group message and invite everyone and their spouse accept me she would text kane separately and state when i was invited kane would then add me either to the group slash message this has literally happened for anything she invited me to at this point i'm done with her petty behavior and my fmil and ffil although no she is the issue for me i'm close with fmil and tell her everything they think i should address her they were thinking a letter i invited her to coffee just her and i i brought a gift for the baby she barely opened or looked at it this would be the first time i'd seen her since they'd told kane about the baby during coffee i asked what the issue was she told me that i didn't like her and that there weren't any issues but me i asked for any incident she could think of that would give me examples of my behavior that made her feel that way she said nope it's just something she thought i said that honestly either her and wayne were a great couple and i wanted to be friends since the beginning i'd baked cakes for her birthday always brought gifts and until recently showed up to everything i was invited to i wanted to be friends but felt like she wasn't friendly we then talked about nothing important from then on and left on good terms i thought the gifts despite me being mad as [ __ ] about everything my fmil is a gem and provinces away and i would do anything for her the boys had both been telling their sides of the story for years fmil has always been on my side because leia's just as rough with her as she is with me my fmil was not allowed to talk to lay about the baby at all or ask questions she was feeling really left out so i helped my fmil with little things to make her feel included we had gifts to give every month to them and for the baby i planned organized and delivered the gifts with kane wayne always opened them never lay when we moved kane and i moved into a new place kane asked wayne to help us even though we helped them move wayne refused to help us however once wearing wayne invites kane over for a sports game that goes on early saturday morning wayne said he would pick kane up because i would have the car saturday morning i'm loading the dishwasher before work wayne walks in and says hello i'm still working and i say hello and turn around wayne and kane have already walked past the dining room kitchen and are into the living room however la is walking in my front door she wasn't invited wayne had not mentioned he was bringing her both kane and i didn't want her judgement and attitude in our not fully set up house this woman walks into my home looks me up and down in the [ __ ] woman judgmental way i say hello and lay turns away with her nose up in the air to follow the boys doesn't acknowledge me doesn't say hello nothing i follow over to where everyone is and jumping on the convo the boys are having about how intense our air conditioning is i mention that we just keep it off because it's always so cold in the house and lays responses to tell me to keep my air at 24c where she's keeps hers at her only words after ignoring me in my home are a command in my own home i respond with back quote i'll keep doing what i think is best thanks i need to go to work by from this moment forward i decide there is no helping the situation there is nothing i can do any longer to change her shitty behavior my goal from here is to ignore her and have as little to do with her as possible lays baby shower the first ever and so far only invite addressed to both kane and i we go and i continue my theme of not talking to her she's busy when i get there and kane and i greet wayne and give our gift lay's best friend is rude to both my fmil and i the whole time after all of the party is over the best friend and co-host charges my fmil for half the food her gas and her time which come out to the cost for everything the birth fmil and ffil drive down to stay with us for two weeks to be here for the birth at wayne's request ffill asked me directly to stay with us instead of them because lay has been so distant and non-inclusive since day one but it's gotten worse since the pregnancy and they are worried they will be kicked out of their place with nowhere to go they spend one hour with her they day they get here and lay isn't very talkative everything from the baby shower is still in boxes where my fmil left the months previous and hasn't been washed or opened yet fmi offered to help set up and layer refused a couple days later ffil and fmil are there for dinner and anything fmi offered to help with had all of a sudden been addresses a couple days later leigh goes into labor and ffil and fmil are told to stay away wayne had texted fmil but nothing to kane except for rugby updates that night is my grandfather's 85th birthday i tell kane he should stay with his family and i'll go alone kane said no he will go to the birthday fmile and ffi i'll go to the waiting room and find out calvin calvin's new wife and lays evil little sister have been there the whole time the fmil was directed by a nurse to go into lay and wayne room where she promptly got kicked out and told she wasn't supposed to be there fmil called me at the birthday party crying her eyes out saying how much she appreciated kane and i and how she never wanted us to change when my nephew was born i'd like to say it was a cell phone issue but lei's little sister and calvin got the text first kane and i receive a text with the picture of the baby in the comment if i'm ready for you to spoil me now fmil and ffill never saw the baby that night the next morning they're invited back to visit the baby with kane and i i had made a large gift basket for lay filled with breast feeding ointments and nipple pads lactation cookies foods to help with milk production a best mom mug i had also brought more toys for the baby she has the baby in her arms and everyone says hello wayne opens the gifts for the baby and is very thankful i ask if anyone has held the baby yet she said not too many people have i said i had a gift for her to open and i'm sure fmile would love to hold the baby while you open it she said no wayne would hold the baby she opens the gifts as fmil excuses herself to the bathroom she need to cry lay's only comments will wear these hair ties in there last night when i needed them i responded with well if we had been invited they'd have been there her response was that kelvin saved her and she was fine wayne knowing calvin being there was an issue for all of us was very careful to not bring him up at all we went for coffee and wayne told us how everything went when we came back he made sure his mom got to hold the baby after the birth cane had asked to go over for dinners i cooked frozen food and deserts for the first little while i continue with my theme of barely acknowledging lay unless completely necessary i talk directly to wayne and kane and if lay comments on something she's looked at and brushed off she shockingly pulled me aside at one point during the first dinner and thanked me for the gift basket most shockingly i was called auntie the first time wayne handed over my nephew to let me hold dinners became somewhat pleasant and although wayne has done some things i don't completely agree with i genuinely like the guy and we get along really well very happy to have him as a brother-in-law i think where any issues arise it's due to lay telling him what to do or how to treat me i get it happy wife happy life la isn't nice but i've noticed the longer i ignore her and the less effort i put into her the more she seems to try with me when it's just us privately although publicly in front of others she still only talks to me to give an opinion on what we should be doing or to mention that her thoughts are the exact opposite of mine which is crazy if i'd have been a [ __ ] in the beginning we would have been friends our engagement kane proposed were both beyond happy and excited kane wants to go see wayne and tell him all about the experience wayne meets us downstairs to bring us up to their apartment wayne asks to see the ring and gives us his congratulations we start telling the story of how it happened on our way up to the apartment lay listens to the tail end of the story but doesn't ask to see the ring or seems all that interested in the story when wayne starts asking details and we give them lei's only comments are about whose weddings we're copying or how we should be doing things the night we got engaged was also the night she chose to follow canonic i'm assuming for the gossip why follow him then also be so disinterested when we are telling the story yeah it was a long one sorry these are the highlights too there are so many more stories i don't want this woman at my wedding all for petty reasons if you are rude i don't think you should be there if you didn't in the beginning and still barely approve on the bride and groom i don't think you should be there and if you didn't let me come to your wedding i don't think you should be at mine i honestly don't like her anymore and the though of her being there stresses me out beyond belief wedding shower wedding anything involved in the slightest i'm nervous of what she'd say or do and i have bad dreams about her showing up in white it's the only negative thing i have about my wedding and i don't know how to get around this i can't not invite her because then i'm hypocritical my fm island ffill think the world of me and i'd like petty if i didn't invite her also her husband my fiance brother is the best man and i don't want to offend him or he may not come currently i have her sitting the farthest she can from us at a table of family she didn't invite to her wedding we will not have the nephew as part of the wedding party because then she'd have to help because he'd only be 16 months at the wedding i'm uncomfortable and grumpy with anything that has to do with her and i don't know how to get over it advice support i could use anything right now [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 81,719

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Keywords: reddit girl, reddit wedding, reddit sil, reddit sister in law, reddit sister, reddit family, reddit, r/ askreddit, r/ girl, r/ wedding, r/ sil, r/ sister in law, r/ sister, r/ family, r/, askreddit girl, askreddit wedding, askreddit sil, askreddit sister, askreddit family, askreddit

Id: DopYuvKxcE8

Length: 27min 3sec (1623 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 29 2020