Florida Man, Yelp Mafia, Pink Tax - Desi Lydic’s Best Field Pieces | The Daily Show

[Music] florida god's waiting room it's home to theme parks the everglades your p-paw and of course florida before committing a sexual act on a tree yelling he was a ghostbusters tried to start a fire with spaghetti sauce was karate kicking those birds every week there's a new headline out of florida wild shocking unnecessarily masturbating at a bus stop told police he was captain kirk but have we ever stopped to ask the question why something's happening to men in florida and it can't just be a coincidence as a future pulitzer winning journalist it's my responsibility to uncover the truth to reveal what lies beneath the swamp to answer the question what makes a man first thing i did was some heavy back channeling mostly on craigslist and facebook i needed to locate some of these real-life florida men first up was robbie last july he ran into a liquor store with the live alligator for some reason florida man robbie stratton decided to bring an alligator with him while making a beer run yeah i definitely regret it it was stupid talk to me about the night that you became florida man i can't really tell you much about that night there's too much alcohol involved that night not just alcohol though it's a there's probably a deep-rooted conspiracy no this is alcohol what was it about florida that made you do what you did it was hot it was humid the heat makes you do crazy things the heat makes you do crazy things alcohol makes you do crazy things but isn't there something that all florida men share there's something behind it mental health issues no that couldn't be it and this wasn't the only man affected he's been hit with charges after pictures in this video showing him handling an alligator which he posted were seen by law enforcement a real name jordan bedford but i go by the alligator man okay um alligator man what's the common factor among all florida men we are different well i'm i'm different from the rest because i do the wrong thing in the right way if that makes sense no no see you're not from florida so you don't understand my language what i'm talking right now but i do i do the wild things anything you think of i'll probably do it like i said anything anything i catch gators anything anything well not anything but basically anything when it comes to the reptile animals mainly the alligators though wait like here in florida you're not allowed to catch an alligator i mean i didn't know that before but i know not i just had a little fun put them on the leash and dance with the last one they seen what kind of dancing did you do with the alligator the alligator man dance you gotta kick your feet spell alligator in the sand as you're dancing as you're going around you spelling alligator and you end it with the stump the alligator man got a commercial too you have a commercial they got a commercial you got a theme song everybody seemed like that nat nam it's the alligator man that is 100 percent the mcdonald's jingle what's the alligator man's on now i see what you're saying about doing the wrong thing in the right way and how it works it worked where do you find alligators in florida if there's a lake there's a gator i promise you so that's everywhere there's gators everywhere these chairs are very hard to get up out of she gone so many florida men so many alligators surely there's a florida man who's normal i miss i am captain silky silver tips and i hail out of the island called marathon down in the florida keys cool and you're a pirate well i'm a pirate most of the day when i'm not i'm a landscaper what could a landscape or pirate possibly have done a man dressed as a pirate is accused of shooting his gun on the seven mile bridge in south florida so i took out my flint locks oh to shoot at the sun now mind you there was no projectile you can put that you know simply gunpowder just put it away why do you defend what you did well i defend my second amendment right your second amendment right to shoot a gun into the sun yeah why not how exactly did you become a florida man to become a florida man you must first be a florida boy and experience the life that it gives you as a boy to hone your skills to be in my case a florida pirate man have you always been a florida man ah no originally i hailed from chicago oh so you're transplant i was in but since then i've lived my entire life here in the keys what do you think is behind every florida man must be in the water that we're drinking down here to drive us to what we do it's a water conspiracy and uh women women yeah they're the ones that drive you crazy and while i was running away from these unusual men i was heading towards some new ideas there had to be a common thread what was i missing there was something different about this state so many florida man stories filling the news did florida reporters know something i didn't i went to an undisclosed orange grove to meet a very casually dressed journalist to find out what can you tell me about these florida man stories i mean i have my own research but sure you just give me yours just so we can compare notes yeah i mean they are true people do weird things here in florida and uh it gets into the news but no [ __ ] yeah a major factor is that we went from being the least populated southern state in 1940 to now being the third most populous state in the country sure this nerd knew a lot about florida and while he mostly rambled i was connecting the dots built tons of homes everywhere where there used to be just wilderness there's a lake there's a gate you can get just about any kind of weapon you want here this is me night 49th among the states in funding for mental health treatment mental health issues another big factor is florida was the first state in the nation to pass this landmark law called the sunshine act that says that basically any government document is available for reporters to go in and see police reports for instance are all open for inspection by reporters and that's when it hit me the missing piece of the puzzle by a guy named emery richard shut up shut up that's it what's it it's the sunshine act yeah it's not what causes florida man it's why we hear about florida man yeah pretty much i just figured it out all by myself i'm a genius florida man has been the butt of countless jokes but maybe that's not fair well this guy was pretty weird the sunshine act makes it easier to discover florida man's stories but i was just scratching the surface we may not hear about them as much but it turns out there are florida men in every state are you trying to shoot the dog and while florida will always be america's petri dish of batshit behavior the truth is there's a little florida man in all of us [Music] [Applause] yelp the most popular crowdsource review forum online and a vital resource when choosing which waxing place doesn't laugh so loudly but can we trust everything we read on yelp one extremely italian restaurant owner finds yelp's business practices so devious he's protesting my name is chef david de chellitini i'm a chef owner at bottom bistro and i give 50 of a pizza if you give me a one star on yelp why would you want a one star review sorry let me ask you in uh what terms you can understand what's the matter you if you want to have a good rating on yelp you need to pay for advertising and i decide to don't pay advertise so what they do they manipulate your rating in order for you to give up and pay for advertising according to davide when he refused to pay yelp to advertise he noticed dozens of five-star reviews disappearing from his yelp page to me that is distortion manipulation yes i'm italian we invent estos well yeah i mean you're not just italian you're like cartoonishly italian i agree with you how exactly did yelp try to extort you walk me through yes absolutely you open your business in couple of weeks you have your business placed in their forum you start to have good review and then in three or four weeks you start to receive phone calls they call you every single day they're pushy they don't give up they keep calling you we were answering the phone looking at the member and we were just telling to go to himself immediately so i tell my mother-in-law after a couple of days you start to see the results of your bad decision so immediately your rating is changing somehow this good review they're gone davide's claim that yelp extorts businesses was a serious allegation and he's not the only one with the yelp grievance in fact yelp gets accused of extortion so much that they have an entire page on their website dedicated to explaining how they don't extort businesses so i went to yelp's headquarters to meet with their spokesperson but not just any spokesperson my name is ben flanik i am currently yelp san francisco's community manager and and i did some television a number of years ago we were on it was on the bachelor i was the bachelor that's right forget about yelp extorting people i had to ask season 16's bachelor what really went down on that horseback ride with lindsay or the time he totally i would prefer that we'd probably keep this this conversation about yelp today if that's cool with you yeah no yes absolutely no i'm i am 100 a professional and i'm here to talk to you about yelp i would never you know want to talk about it go go go go get out of here go clean it up clean these up i didn't arrange that no no it's fine it's fine sorry excuse me what would you say to someone who says that yelp extorts businesses um i would say that's simply not true great i'm also not in sales i don't you know i i run the community side of things here um yelp makes its money primarily through advertising you don't have to advertise reviews are shown just the same whether you're a paid advertiser or not so businesses can control the order in reviews that come up descriptions reviews are a bit different we have this this algorithm is it's called recommendation software and unfortunately the business owners get frustrated with the algorithm alongside that you have sales reps that are calling them and they think that the two are correlated but they're absolutely not we don't extort businesses [ __ ] you are going to work you are going to be harassed from these people its blackmailing is rocket bring the money in to the family and that's the yelp mafia does it cause you pain being so italian and seeing your noble tradition of mafia culture be portrayed by these silicon valley douchebags it is it's insulting the italian community got really mad not because the attention or distortion is the way that has been done that a little stupid guy called me from the silicon valley because he's manipulated that's humiliating for the italian you should know at least doing the right way send couple of guy with a baseball bat do it a classic can give you the money nobody's saying anything but what if he was on the bachelor well you can guard relate to him but also tell him to go himself these people are protected by politics law and lawyers and we don't give a [ __ ] anymore it might be legal but it's not okay choosing who to trust between these two guys was going to be tough yelp's business practices are totally legal but davide had a point harassing businesses and adjusting reviews feels dishonest almost as dishonest as calling this italian style pizza in the end i had to listen to my heart it might be legal but it's not okay just because it's legal doesn't make it right i was going to have to let ben down easy ben i spent a lot of time with yelp today and i think it's just that yelp and businesses are somehow not trusting one another it just feels like there are some things that yelp is keeping from businesses but i really hope that yelp finds happiness i'm sure one day they'll make a business very happy [Music] thanks time it flies when you're having fun but it also killed people every march in november we try to control it daylight saving time is about to begin remember we fall back tomorrow night set the clocks back bringing forward and i hate it back one hour why do we change our clocks and does it do more harm than good well as i found out if you screw with time who are you it just might screw you back arizona it's one of america's top states alphabetically but more importantly their clocks play by their own rules arizona has opted out of daylight saving time they stick to standard time all year so i'm here in cactus country to find out how these time bandits can even function living outside of normal time how has living without daylight saving time completely messed up your life i feel like everybody else is all messed up because i've never turned my clock back i never have to worry about it i guess it's like the wild west does that explain your mustache i don't know what explains this i love the fact that i don't have to worry about changing the clocks don't you feel like you're missing out being an hour behind the rest of the country no that's all right we'll catch up you won't catch up you're always an hour behind yeah i don't see it as living in the past i only see it as living in the present it's their future and not my past because my past is then their past i'm sorry what arizonans seemed happy with their own time laws not to mention their access to primo desert drugs but if they were unaffected by not changing their clocks why do the rest of us do it i sat down with clock blocker scott yates who's on a mission to permanently stop clock changing i'm the leader of the lock the clock movement trying to stop people from having to change the clocks twice a year but isn't it a good thing to set the clocks forward an hour and gain that extra hour of sunlight people in general like that extra hour of sunlight but for some people it's really deadly traffic accidents go up strokes heart attacks more people actually just die in the few days after the spring forward time change wow i guess for some people time is up solid jokes aside if this is literally killing people there has to be a good argument for it there really isn't any argument to change the clock twice a year well no there is the farmers no the whole story about the farmers it's the biggest pr con job ever the farmers have always been against changing the clocks for daylight saving time and they've been like hey stop blaming us we don't have anything to do with this you'll blame the farmer trope no honey i did not have sex with my yoga instructor it was the farmer who i had sex with why do we even have daylight savings time or is it daylight's saving times daylight savings times no s's daylight saving time got it daytime save light time well it was first proposed here in the united states by a retailer that found that if there's more sunlight people would have more time to shop this all started from a retailer well he came up with the name daylight saving time but it actually started during world war one the germans started doing it and then the brits and then the us fell into it after that it was called wartime such a german thing to do to make people lose an hour after the war we stopped doing it because everybody hated it and then in the 60s the golf industry became a really big industry so golf lobbyists were able to convince politicians that we should have daylight saving time so that there's more time to play golf after work wait the golf lobby yeah that's right they make hundreds of millions of dollars for every extra month that the country is in daylight saving time and then the candy lobbyists went to congress and said we should have daylight saving time extend into the first weekend of november and that way on halloween they'd sell more candy all right wartime golfers and now candy men are the reason behind dst where does that leave us now things are actually really improving there's a bill that has both republican and democrat support to actually make the change to the law so that the states can go on permanent daylight saving time so it's a bipartisan issue it's totally bipartisan wow i don't think i've ever heard that from anybody before well the basic idea of time is really just an agreement we all have to come together to decide when 10 a.m is and that agreement shouldn't kill people my time is in agreement what even is time when is time [Music] who is time why is time what uh can i go now the deeper i traveled into daylight saving the deeper i got lost and what time even was time is a construct right right time is it's now it's before it's later later i'm i'm in their past but it's my future future and if some states change the clocks in arizona doesn't could space and time invert on themselves who are you better question is when am i future me yeah i'm you during daytime save light time hold on a second this is me in an hour yeah this whole changing the clocks thing is really [ __ ] up god damn it who just locked the clocks this whole thing would never happen ah yes the mcfly paradox i knew exactly what to ask me you want a 69 yeah okay either america needs to lock the clocks i need to stop doing peyote on work trips [Music] [Applause] mars humanity's side peace the worse our relationship gets with earth the more we lust after that cold unattainable hunk just out of reach which is why everyone went wild for mars one a private company who in 2012 offered four lucky earthlings a one-way ticket to mars mars one has selected its final hundred contenders to form a colony on the foreign planet that is actually happening in life people are being offered a one-way ticket to mars yet thousands still signed up and paid application fees for a chance to go to mars forever who would do that my name is laila zucker and i'm an emergency medicine physician what would make someone want to take a one-way trip to mars you know aside from just being a woman on this planet right now it's been almost 50 years since we went on to the moon it's time to go so you're telling me you would choose space over your husband i would my husband is okay with that because if you love something you have to let it go are you sure you don't just need a little bit of space like i tell my husband that i've got book club once a week there's no book club i barely read it's not really about that we need to make humans a multi-planet species unfortunately for layla and 99 other finalists there's only one problem mars one now filing for bankruptcy was mars one ever a real thing at all the more that i looked at it i kind of felt like this is like not a real thing at all they didn't have any kind of real money they weren't working with spacex their idea was they make reality tv shows but where do you get the money before that to pay for the scientists the gear everything else that goes into actually getting you there you know what they should have done they should have done a pyramid scheme i had a very successful pyramid scheme going in college it was basically like herbalife but with a hundred percent cocaine i would sell it then i had other people selling it i would take a cut of it it's pretty great that sounds like you were just selling drugs would you a cop like i told those prosecutors i'm gonna need a second opinion so i turned to real life astronaut chris hadfield mars one had no spaceships they gave everybody the impression that you could just go buy um a spaceship that could take you to mars but those spaceships don't even exist they still have to be invented mars one was a scam they built people out of a million dollars and when they just went broke recently they still owe somebody else another million euros you don't mean a scam scam you just mean they told the world that they had a thing but they didn't actually have the thing and they couldn't deliver on the thing that's what scams are what kind of magician can pull off an illusion this big i had to find the man behind it all mars won ceo baz lansdorf i didn't want him to be suspicious so i started off slow is mars one a scam march 1 is definitely not a scam and i think that if you take a real good look at our website you cannot be convinced otherwise as everyone knows the best way to check to see if something is a scam is to see if it has a website and like any legitimate space venture mars one offers sweet merch and a chance to donate monthly don't forget that in 61 when kennedy said we're going to the moon before the end of the decade they basically had nothing okay if president kennedy and 400 000 people working for nasa could turn a dream into a moon landing maybe baz and his team could get us to mars how many people do you have on staff at your company there's 10 people currently working on mars one 10 people yes how many of the 10 are scientists so there's uh three engineers currently involved in mars one and the others are more on the storytelling part of the company seven of the ten are more involved in the storytelling process yes so if i invest in mars one am i investing in a space program or a media story investors are really investing in a in a media company that's selling the story so all this time mars one was nothing more than a sales pitch sold to us as news how could the entire world be fooled by this one dutchman the media sorry um is it the media yeah mit was putting out papers about how mars one's plans were going to actually kill the people within 68 days of arriving because they would suffocate to death but then you would turn on the news you would see this kind of like softball coverage what items would be on your bucket list what do you need to check off before you go to mars these people are really going everybody there are two things she will really miss about earth her husband of 22 years and her favorite food hamburgers the media perpetuated and magnified the lie yeah media's the worst the first step in becoming a truth-telling journalist informing layla that she's been scammed that doesn't make it a scam in order to have a scam you have to be fooling someone and you have to be stealing from them and nobody has really paid anything other than the original application fee so if you're not stealing and you're just fooling somebody it's innocent it's an innocent lie that makes life on earth more magical like santa claus or sister bunny basically yes or like when you tell your husband you only slept with his father once you know little lies that make people happier we say it's only going to take 10 years and it's only going to take six million dollars and we know those aren't true but in order to pursue these dreams sometimes we take small liberties everybody is allowed to dream but the media's job is not to report dreams it is to report the facts exactly a journalist's job is to seek the truth and to stay sharp and the best way to stay sharp is with herbicane the only herbal supplement made of 100 cocaine herbicane that feels good mars 1 had a story to sell and like the customers my herbal supplement most of the media bought it without examining the product that's how you end up in a world where theranos gets the coverage that it did it's how fire festival happens and there's really big consequences for things like that happening maybe that explains mars want when you live on a planet where facts no longer matter and the media legitimizes something that was fundamentally empty from the beginning it's no wonder people want to escape but fighting for a world where truth counts is a mission i can believe in just tell me when we get there [Music] [Applause] [Music] america hears trump in english i know words i have the best words well sort of but the rest of the world doesn't hear trump the rest of the world hears the translators we assembled five translators from all over the world to hear their experiences when it comes to translating trump of all the people you've had to translate where does president trump fall he's probably the worst that i've ever translated trump is incoherent and he changed his mind in the middle of the sentence sometimes his message is not quite grammatical and seems a little bit uneducated i would say it's not particularly difficult to translate trump all right get out of here get this guy out of here russian kramer aside how does one translate trump with all these obstacles sometimes i lie you lie i have to no no no no but you can't do that you can't do that because see we are counting on you to translate president trump accurately to the rest of the world okay i am accurate at 97 percent of the time 97 you translate trump correctly yeah but the three percent three percent you have to fake it three percent it makes sense otherwise you're gonna look like an idiot yourself it makes us sound stupid how would you translate that bing bing bong bone interesting okay maybe that was a softball but how about this memorable quote a total and complete shutdown of muslims entering the united states until our country's representatives can figure out what the hell is going on there's no equivalent to what the hell is going on in arabic that's unfortunate because it that would be a widely used turn of phrase that's one of the main issues trump's special vocabulary doesn't always exist in other languages you can do anything whatever you want grab them by the [ __ ] how would you translate grab them by the [ __ ] i would say meaning that women can let me do anything that's very very different because it could mean women let me do anything like treat them like a queen as opposed to i can grab them by the [ __ ] you know unfortunately it does not project the same way is there a japanese word for [ __ ] not in the exact sense of the word is there a japanese word for this sure that's meaning no that's not going to work it's too cute it's too cute okay how about this tacos we just say tacos okay i'm getting a real sense of the language barrier here is there a japanese word for this roast beef kind of beef curtains beef curtains beef cutting try that we will build the wall and mexico is going to pay for the wall in mexico okay that is no there's warmness in your eyes you're smiling that is not the way he said it you have to do it like he does it people at home are gonna think he's joking people have a sensitivity so you don't want to offend them more than he already has you know no you got to give them the trump who's going to pay for the wall no mexico yeah no i know mexico but trump believes that mexico is going to pay for the wall so if you're going to translate him you have to believe it too who's gonna pay for the wall nobody is gonna pay for that wall in mexico what is wrong with these translators no one is capturing the true trump it's not just his words there's something more the poor guy you got to see this guy oh i don't know what i said ah i don't remember he's gonna like i don't remember i thought maybe that's what i said yeah that's pretty accurate i think you kind of got the gist of that i'm trump for the moment while i am interpreting his words this beautiful mime was right that's what these translators were missing they needed to embody trump his tone his mannerisms the sexism the whole package and down with a dumb face grab them by the foot grab them by the [ __ ] sad sad after a grueling seven minutes of training these translators were ready with cajones oh my god oh my god okay that's that's good thank you thank you being a woman can cost you apparently an average of fourteen hundred dollars a year thanks to gender price discrimination if you're a woman just about everything cost you more than similar products marketed for men it's called the pink tax i needed to investigate by testing some products but i wasn't going to fall victim to price discrimination by actually paying for them two razors one blue one pink otherwise identical does the pink one give a silkier shave only one way to find out [Music] what i'm a full-time working mom what do you expect [Music] they're exactly the same could this be an isolated case i continued my investigation we need a patriarchy cleanup in aisle 13. [Music] two painkillers one marketed for lady cramps question is which is more effective just as i thought same active ingredient this is [ __ ] why do products cost more for women than men well classic marketing strategies what they call shrink it and pink it oh yeah i had that surgery that's not what we're talking about in this case what we're saying is the company will take the basic version they made for everyone and then market that towards women they'll make it smaller they'll make it pink yeah same same thing basic economics 101 it goes right to their bottom line yeah i mean that's the whole point of the surgery went to my bottom line but there's one lawmaker congresswoman jackie spear who's been fighting gender discrimination for over 20 years get rid of the gender tax women on the average pay five dollars more for a haircut than does a man they should be paying you to get those haircuts but that's not the point the pink tax is a insidious institution in america and mind you women are still making 80 cents for every dollar earned by a man to do the same job and if you're a woman of color you're making even less money i ran the numbers and overcharged plus underpaid equals the square root of what the [ __ ] so unfair it's like when someone has blue eyes everyone falls in love with them but you get pink eye once and suddenly you're kicked out of your neighbor's hot tub it's three o'clock in the morning what are they gonna use it for women aren't just getting discriminated against with goods but with services as well haircuts tailoring dry cleaning research has shown women pay more than men 42 of the time in fact a recent study shows it starts from the time you were born until the day you die as displayed and some of these products we have with us today and a game we call 34 to 44. oh great so while your little girl is learning how to walk she'll also learn how to navigate the system that's exploiting her sorry these are two children snorkels 884 1622 for the pink so women literally have to pay more to breathe sorry 28 women's diapers for 15.98 but the men get 32 diapers for the same amount of money this is why i stopped pooping [Music] and just like me this system is full of [ __ ] how can women afford to live in this world if the man's version is cheaper then just buy that one yeah sure if you think about it it's just one extra step and a series of extra steps that women take every day to thrive in a man's world like how we get up a little extra early every morning to put on an outfit that looks professional yet accessible but not too accessible because we don't want to be taken advantage of or how we walk an extra five blocks to work so that we can avoid the construction zone because men like to tell us to smile more and when we get to work we want to make our voices heard but in a way that's helpful and strong without being overbearing or shrill you know we do all of this without even an ounce of resentment because resentment causes wrinkles and society does not value aging women [Music] is there a men's wrinkle cream that you can recommend yes there are several i'm sure it costs less maybe a little there's got to be a better solution i'm introducing the pink tax repeal act we have got to get the federal government to protect women from this gross discrimination that's right spear is ready to give the pink tax some blue balls but why stop there i think there has to be an outrage women should say why is this more this is discrimination i'm going to call corporate got it be outraged make our voices heard take it into our own hands until the repeal the pink tax act gets passed i'm going to make up for all the [ __ ] we've already paid for with the help of my little pink friend [Music] perfect giving women their money back one item at a time we'll call it desi's dick tax strong enough for a man but priced just for her [Music] [Applause] as the daily show's junior youth correspondent i could certainly relate to the high school teens marching against gun violence you could just feel the optimistic energy that's a paid actor that child's in her 30s at least i'm young af why are you here today i'm here today because enough is enough and i go to high school i'm not going to sit around and wait for the nra and congress to keep controlling my life so but mostly for the after parties right how many likes are you hoping to get from today's rally um i wasn't really planning on posting much on social media okay but if you don't post on social media then how will people know that you're an activist it doesn't really have to be something that's like that like everybody knows i think being an activist doesn't really have to just be like shown off really i'm sick of the uh the cycle that's going on where politicians take money from the nra and do nothing about about gun violence so i'm here to protest that like if we're being totally honest though we're just like two young people looking to party right i have a girlfriend me too you're wearing a cowboy hat do you think the government is coming to take our guns of course not that is that is just ridiculous and there are 180 people killed in schools but there are thousands that are killed in chicago detroit and all that yes we can't get it done with trump as president yes but we can't we'll never get it done if we don't start demanding that yes that's my point yes yes queen these kids had a lot to say luckily i spoke their language background checks fleek fresh or fam none of those apply completely it's like not the correct use i don't think for background checks the nra wax salty or bae is there none of the above would you rank my condescending your language as dank lit or lit af dank dank how do you hope that today will change things a change has to come soon because like we're the future generation and i feel like we're the generation of change teens are the only ones mobilizing this movement not those like old adults so like does it kind of make it uncool if they actually do listen and then don't you think they'll also take credit for it it doesn't really matter who takes credit for it just matters that the change has to come i guess i shouldn't have marginalized you based on aegis stereotypes you know the big guys gals they won't respond to us that well if we don't act like we understand what we're talking about yeah that's a really good point that's lit af i think so too i learned a lot including how to dab it was clear america's grown-ups had failed at enacting any change we adults would have to count on the next generation to solve all the rest of our difficult problems all right american high schoolers you have started a conversation about guns that could actually move towards legislation so which one of you wants to take on north korea perfect middle east conflict are you sure you can handle it you're wearing a choker immigration reform yep and u.s tax code which one of you is the biggest nerd yep that seems right okay go work your teen magic on it when you have all the answers just uh slide it in my dms our job isn't really to solve all these issues that's congress's job wow you really are young that is hilarious do you know what climate change is yes good because you're gonna have to solve it [Music] start with this president trump is determined to build the wall we have to close down our government we're building that wall but trump's wall would ruin fragile ecosystems breed xenophobia and even destroy something rich white people care about if trump builds his wall then he'll go right through our golf course if built trump's wall would cut right through an exclusive golf resort right here on the border in brownsville texas we're an 18-hole golf course nestled along the banks of the rio grande river as you see behind us i don't mean to be rude but i believe it's rio grande potato potato it's potato no one says potato and for jeremy this isn't just a job it's a dream we grew up playing this golf course this is a place where i wanted to establish my career and let my kids grow up but you know you can't have a golf course with only three holes three holes are only good for one thing you know we'd have to talk about sex sorry you were talking about yeah if trump builds his wall we would lose everything completely right i just don't think it's fair which is why jeremy is tirelessly speaking out against trump's number one policy as one of the wall's victims he never could have seen it coming i actually voted for president trump you voted for trump yes ma'am he did i think trump truly cares about the american people and what he campaigned on is is stuff i believe and and agreed with except for the destroying your business part except for the destroying the business part and just felt like it was time for something different oh my god why are you complaining he is literally doing the thing that you voted for you know trump is a salesman you know so we figured it was a metaphorical wall you thought he was talking about a metaphorical wall right not an actual physical wall that is the dumbest thing i've ever heard didn't trump say it will be a real war a real wall just maybe once or twice july 2nd 2015 we must build a wall july 28 2015 we must have a wall june 6 2015 nobody can build a wall like trump august 5th 2014 build a wall november 19th 2015. we need a big and beautiful wall august 30th 2016 i saw another one from day one i said i was going to build a great wall on the southern border august 25th 2015 it's not a fence jeb it's a wall you think those were all metaphors i think all of them could point to something that is a metaphor none of those point to an actual structural wall and yet for someone so convinced trump's wall was just a high school english class literary device he failed to point out that there's already a very real border fence just outside of his property and it's definitely not a metaphor so if you could go back in time and go it's a real wall what would you do differently you know i'm not sure there's much we would do differently i'd still vote for trump unbelievable for jeremy and millions of trump supporters just like him there's nothing trump could do wrong except one thing you know seeing that video of trump driving on the green at trump national it really just breaks your heart as a golf course owner it's the driving on the green not the muslim ban or the leaking information to russia or the destroying your business yeah i mean it's just these are 100 000 greens and you're just kind of being really inconsiderate about them so there you have it from the mouth of a trump supporter whose career will probably be destroyed by his own vote keep up the good work mr president just stay off the green or are you not supposed to do that sorry sorry oh and watch out for stray balls [Music] you

Channel: The Daily Show with Trevor Noah

Views: 545,458

Rating: 4.8925872 out of 5

Keywords: the daily show, trevor noah, daily show with trevor noah, the daily show episodes, comedy central, comedians, comedian, funny video, comedy videos, funny clips, noah trevor, trevor noah latest episode, daily show, trevor, news, politics, daily show trump, desi lydic, desi, lydic, field piece

Id: YILFc7TfiJ4

Length: 44min 45sec (2685 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 08 2021