How Is Trump Handling Retirement? | The Daily Show

[Music] donald j trump former united states president and the reason america will be paying for decades of therapy it has been five months since trump was indefinitely suspended from facebook for the minor infraction of trying to overthrow the government i mean who hasn't done that but today brought some new clarity on where you will and won't be seeing trump online going forward decision day this morning in a facebook face-off with the company's independent oversight board upholding the decision to keep former president donald trump off the platform at least for now but the board a kind of supreme court for facebook says it's not appropriate for the company to just make the ban indefinite giving facebook six months to review its decision and donald trump already moving on from the traditional social media sites ahead of the decision he's launched his own new blog called from the desk of donald j trump the blog posts are formatted like tweets and include options for people to post the content on other social media sites people can sign up for alerts so they know when the former president writes something hold up this dude has been saying for months that he's going to create a whole new social media platform to rival twitter and facebook and he just ended up making a blog and not just that he's called the blog from the desk of donald trump when we know for a fact that he doesn't spend any time there i mean you might as well call it from the juice bar of donald trump but i get it you know trump had to do something to distract from the fact that he lost his appeal to get back on facebook or as he put it we won this appeal in a landslide everyone knows it so many victories and look i get why facebook extended trump's suspension but you have to admit it does seem pretty unfair to ban him from a website that began as a way to rate women's looks oh and just as a side note it's crazy that facebook even has a supreme court to make these decisions what's even crazier is mitch mcconnell has already appointed four of its justices if you've got a cork well i'm feeling it trump may have lost the 2020 election but that's only if you count all the votes against him the good news though is that doesn't mean he walked away from the race empty-handed well trump supporters may have gotten or given more than they bargained for when they donated to his re-election campaign a new york times investigation found the people who thought they were sending a single donation were charged over and over again by his campaign operation and what the times calls an intentional scheme to boost revenue recurring online donations were set up by default here is how that fine print disclaimer looked take a look at this it was buried that tiny line at the bottom of the first yellow box calls for a weekly recurring donation hundreds of thousands of people had money withdrawn without their knowledge leading to a record amount of fraud claims against more than 64 million bucks in refunds in the last months of 2020. the 63 year old man willingly initially contributed 500 to the trump campaign when the man had his bank account repeatedly charged 500 several times in the weeks to come to the tune of 3 000 in less than 30 days god damn say what you want about donald trump but this man is a legend his last act as president was to rob his own supporters they loved him so much they stormed the capitol for him and meanwhile he was like you go on ahead i'll watch your stuff leave your wallet here bobby i got you what's most surprising to me is that trump's base didn't expect this from him because guys if you know donald trump at all you should know that he will scam anyone that's why even when melania is at home she still takes her purse with her to the bathroom i'm going pp now credit card comes with me donald now you'd probably think that after getting scammed his supporters would have second thoughts about him but it turns out some of the victims still say that they are loyal to donald trump i mean how far does he have to go for these guys to stop believing in him well sure i missed that check box that let trump take my nose but that's my fault i would still shake the man's hand if i had a hand because i missed that checkbox too i can't say that i'm surprised that trump isn't making an effort to get people vaccinated i mean the man barely did his job when he had his job you think he's going to start working now for free but the funny thing is that even while trump seems totally uninterested in promoting the vaccine he's very interested in getting credit for it the former president isn't staying silent of course he released a statement about the vaccine quote i hope that everyone remembers when they're getting the kovid 19 often referred to as the china virus vaccine that if i wasn't president you wouldn't be getting that beautiful shot for five years at best and probably wouldn't be getting it at all i hope everyone remembers oh man oh this dude man he misses twitter so much cause like he used to be in the mix so hard all the time now he just gets to issue a statement every week like does anyone remember me hello i was the go fifi guy we had good times remember me go baby and look i get where trump is coming from right the vaccines were a scientific miracle developed in record time on his watch you cannot deny that but that's what makes it so weird that he's not out there promoting the vaccine like when tom brady won the super bowl he went and held the trophy and celebrated with his team he wasn't like yo i'm gonna sneak out the back don't tell anybody i was here donald jobless trump and for anyone wondering if trump is still worshiped by his people well this might answer your question take a look at this this is in the convention center hallways and it is a uh fairly large statue of donald trump made of gold you can see there he's in a suit as well as an american flag with shorts and it certainly has been getting a lot of attention a lot of people posing with the statue but i think if anything it gives us a better idea of the kind of crowd that's here at cpac holy guys did you see that thing i'm sorry i'm sorry like like yeah yeah yeah i get it's a golden idol and blasphemous and all of that blah blah blah but guys why is it wearing flip-flops and holding a magic wand [Laughter] i mean do you know how hard it is to make donald trump look weirder than he already is like it doesn't even look like trump it looks like king midas dry-humped a bob's big boy i mean so yeah that statue looks dumb but still everyone at cpac was excited to take pictures with it especially eric this is the closest we've ever been in a long time dad look i know i'm just a gold statue but get the hell away from me you creepy looking freak now as exciting as gold-plated hobbit trump is the statue was no match for the real thing and everyone hoping that trump would come on stage and play his hits well they were definitely not disappointed we have a very sick and corrupt electoral process that must be fixed immediately this election was rigged and the supreme court and other courts didn't want to do anything about it they didn't have the courage the supreme court you take a look at the votes when you have more votes and you have people that's a problem right is that a problem in pennsylvania they had hundreds of thousands of more votes than they had people voting what's that all about what's that all about [Applause] cheating they say yeah i'd say so but it's one of those things but who knows who knows i may even decide to beat them for a third time okay i've watched cpac and wonder vision this weekend and i'm not sure which characters are living in a more warped reality and look trump is always going to insist that he won he's hopeless i get that but for the rest of the conservatives in that room someone is going to need to step up and have the balls to tell them that their candidate lost and that they need to grow up and accept that and i think carly you were gonna tell them that right carly in the wake of the capital riots and the ensuing impeachment a split has emerged in the party between trump loyalists and traditional conservatives like mitch mcconnell who blamed trump for the riots and basically called for him to be charged with crimes well now trump is striking back former president trump is lashing out at senate minority leader mitch mcconnell in a statement mitch is a dour sullen and unsmiling political hack and if republican senators are going to stay with him they will not win again and cnn is learning this statement was actually watered down it included saying that mcconnell had quote too many chins and not enough brain okay you know what how dare you donald mitch mcconnell does not have multiple chins okay he doesn't have any chins he has a neck sack that he developed to store air so that he can breathe underwater learn some biology but also damn this is some fancy trash talk dawa i think this proves that social media makes you dumber i mean trump's been off twitter for what a couple of weeks and all of a sudden he's already learning a new sat word a day he also called mitch mcconnell unsmiling which is just such classic trump no matter who you are trump will find a way to sexually harass you mitch you're a failure a disaster for the party and why don't you smell more baby come on show us a little smell but you can really tell that the rift in the republican party is getting serious and honestly if it comes down to trump versus mitch i don't know man my money's on trump because have you ever seen a rabid mitch mcconnell supporter no because they don't exist even mitch is like look i can take me or leave me it's no secret that donald trump's transition out of office was a painful one he caused a major rift in the gop but his relationship with the gop isn't the only one that's been strained you see there was another organization that played an equally important role in trump's political rise fox news for four years they treated trump the way a white lady treats her dog he was a good boy and if he peed on you it was your fault and the love was mutual but sometime between trump's campaign for re-election and his campaign for insurrection the relationship went south today president trump is taking on fox news as you see right here retweeting day's old replies bashing the channel and suggesting that fox is to blame for his defeat i don't know what the hell happened to fox huh what happened to fox boy president trump is blasting fox news suggesting it has become another quote mainstream media outlet now this is as the president took to twitter wednesday to say that watching the channel is almost as bad as watching fake news cnn we have a lot of support you'd be amazed we have a lot of support so many people we have as supporters outside of just you know our our fox news which you know i have my own little i have my own little difficulties with if you want to know the truth now fox fox is very disappointing that fox puts on this this would not have happened with roger ailes i can tell you that i got to be honest it was so weird to see trump turn on fox news because they were so loyal to him they put their necks on the line for him again and again even when they didn't have much neck to begin with but now it looks like this love affair is over and even though trump's been married three times this might be the biggest breakup of his life and we can't wait for the courtroom drama that this is going to inspire they were the perfect match but the love didn't last this year get ready for the divorce trial of the century all right we will now hear the case of donald j trump versus fox news i understand both parties are requesting a divorce citing irreconcilable differences is that correct yes your honor yes if by irreconcilable differences you mean backstabbing butt heads here we go your honor my client has suffered too long with the lying racist partner who incites insurrection they want to find a lying racist partner who doesn't incite insurrection your honor my client spent four years promoting fox news shows wherever he went rallies international summits other fox news shows and what did fox news do in return they refused to call the 2020 election for him just because joe biden won it that's a good point this betrayal has inflicted emotional physical and dietary harm it made him sad and he eats junk food when he's set and when he's happy and when he feels nothing but that's irrelevant to this case your honor i have checked the tension is high but the stakes are even higher all right let's get down to business start splitting up these big juicy assets counselor he's keeping the republican party absolutely not that was fox's property prior to the relationship he can have the maga base only i'm talking the trump tattoo having felony live streaming base the ones who haven't combed their beard since the mid 90s that's not fair none of those riders will even be able to vote from jail in the next election we want the whole party mr trump invested substantial resources into overhauling the gop renovations upgrades spine removal who do you think paid for mitch mcconnell's brazilian butt lift i knew that thing was fake a breakup this messy affects the whole family all right let's talk custody i see here there are six children wait i thought trump only had five kids is there a secret love child you're only telling me about no the petition doesn't refer to mr trump's biological children rather we're asking for custody of steve ainsley brian tucker laura and sean the ones he loves your honor mr trump's lifestyle simply can't give them the stability they need to thrive especially little brian kilmeade i mean he doesn't even understand what's going on this verdict will be the most anticipated result in our lifetimes before i get to my decision i'd like to implore both parties to remember what this relationship used to be this relationship was founded on love trust and common interests that mr trump and fox share you know like wealth and nda's but ultimately this case comes down to one thing whoever gave me the biggest bribe so this court hereby rules in favor of coming soon to a courtroom near you oh i can't wait to watch you

Channel: The Daily Show with Trevor Noah

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Keywords: the daily show, trevor noah, daily show with trevor noah, the daily show episodes, comedy central, comedians, comedian, funny video, comedy videos, funny clips, noah trevor, trevor noah latest episode, daily show, trevor, news, politics, facebook, trump, donald trump, fox news, mitch mcconnell, covid, covid vaccine

Id: OsXp0ofU12s

Length: 16min 53sec (1013 seconds)

Published: Sat May 29 2021