Family is furious I told my daughter her deceased mother's secret

hi guys and welcome back to ask girl channel i know a lot of you've been wondering for a while who's behind us girl channel is it a boy is it a girl so both of you are right so my name is wilma and i'm the editor of the videos and also we have wade who's telling you all the stories we made some changes to the channel so i hope you're gonna like them but please leave a comment and we will read them all so today we have four new stories for you and the first one is just crazy one to be honest i was reading the story and i was thinking oh my god my friend was in exact same situation as opie so listen to the end of the story and then we're gonna tell you about my friend and his experience enjoy guys to start my ex and i were 19 when she got pregnant we had recently broke up and she found out a couple of weeks later that she was pregnant she said she planned to get rid of the baby but only wanted her sister there so i was always under the belief that she had aborted she only contacted me once saying it was done and we didn't speak again fast forward 19 years later i found out a month ago that was a lie my ex passed away three years ago and my daughter cara has been living with her uncle he was the one to reach out to give me a heads up after she expressed an interest in wanting us to connect he and i spoke at length because i was feeling some pretty strong emotions like rage for never being told about her my ex had backed out of the idea of getting rid of the baby but didn't want me involved because we were broken up so decided just not to tell me but he told me that cara doesn't know about that apparently i wasn't ready for fatherhood because we were both young so i bailed i couldn't believe it rob her uncle told me he knows his sister was wrong for that but promised cara doesn't have any negative feelings towards me and my ex never painted me as some villain just a young guy who knew he couldn't properly care for her he asked me not to tell cara this when we talk if she asks and because it could hurt the way she saw her mom i never actually confirmed i would kara messaged me and we've been talking i've met her twice and it's been crazy emotional looking at this girl who looks just like me and hurting that we're just barely getting to know each other so far our conversations have only been about what her life was like how my life is what her wants future goals are and getting to know each other we met again tuesday and she finally decided to ask the obvious questions about what made me not be involved how did i feel what went through my mind did i ever think about her etc i had been thinking about what to do but in that moment i just didn't have it in me to lie so i was honest that i was told about the a had no idea she even existed until now but that i still really wanted to be in her life and have the chance to be her father if she wants that cara was a bit emotional we talked some more and said she still wants me involved that night my messages were blowing up not just from rob but her grandparents as well they're all outraged for telling cara about her mom because she yelled at all of them and is refusing to even take their calls yes the lie was terrible but i just ruined the image she had of her late mother for my own benefit rob called me a selfish d for not taking into consideration how this would affect cara finding out about this so right now i feel like crap i get honesty is the best policy but in this case i don't know if i was an idiot for doing it i'm still learning this whole dad business so don't know if i dropped the ball here update kara thanked me for being honest about what happened and we had a deep conversation about what she's going through she and her mom always had a very strained relationship even until she passed away so there was still a lot of anger and resentment she never got to have closure for now learning this new lie her mom told her about me well it opened a lot of other mixed feelings she has been in therapy even before her mother died to deal with their issues so cara is working this out with someone which i am happy to know many of you were suggesting therapy for her so at least she already had that down my daughter's still mad at her family she talked to them a couple of times before stopping communication kara knows she'll forgive them eventually but for right now she says she wants them to live with the consequences so hasn't had any contact with them i did express my concern over her shutting them out but she says it's not forever she's still trying to process this betrayal and get to a place where she'll accept them back into her life at the moment she's still living with her friend and wants to keep things that way so far has declined any financial help i offer she just wants to work out her anger and let them sit with this a while i had to do some blocking still for my own peace of mind things are a work in progress but i'm happy to report that we're getting along fine kara's been over so many times and has met my fiance we're learning so much about each other even if sometimes it's hard to not get emotional over childhood memories she talks about knowing i couldn't be there for them still in the process of finding a therapist myself because this has been pretty heavy on me too and still have no idea what the hell i'm doing as a parent isn't it just crazy guys how can you take a right from a child to know your own father i think it's just cruel to be honest and op is definitely not an idiot so according to the family op needs to keep looking like an idiot in his daughter's eyes himself just to protect his child's mother's name why would he do that op's daughter deserves to know the truth even if it's not very nice don't you think so also if he said to his ex that he doesn't want the child he still had a right to know and i'm sure he would have been in his daughter's life if he knew she existed now the guy vilma mentioned let's call him pete was in the exact same situation except that he didn't even know the girl was pregnant they've been dating while they were still in school she dumped pete for another guy and that was the last time she saw him after 30 years a guy comes knocking on pete's door saying that he thinks he is his father they took a dna test and yes he is pete's son how crazy is that this guy grew up with the step dad she left peed for i broke up with my girlfriend of four years around five months ago for being too fat she was always slightly above average weight wise never bothered me been with bigger girls before she had the most beautiful smile i've ever seen incredible charisma thoughtful generous hilarious wicked smart and all the things i wanted in a life partner we were great together she was my first love and i honestly thought we'd always be together we had planned out our lives together laughing at the drama of other couples it was paradise i was so ducking happy happier than i ever thought i deserved to be but in the latter two years her weight really ballooned going up to a size 20 or 22. christ knows i wasn't brave enough to ask her exactly how heavy she was she developed health problems because of it and her positivity and the smile i fell in love with disappeared those health problems and constant negativity and attitude stemming from her weight began to affect our relationship it affected all the other things that attracted me to her in the first place her confidence her positivity her motivation it wasn't just the weight it was everything that came from it her best friend was a personal trainer who gave her free pt sessions free meal plans everything so she had all the tools at her disposal and was better placed than anyone i knew to lose weight and keep it off it came down to this she wouldn't look after herself she wasn't willing to do anything about it and that was the biggest burden i felt like i was walking on eggshells i tried talking to her but it was always construed that i was being unreasonable or deliberately trying to hurt or upset her and make her feel bad every time i broached the subject i was met with denial and anger i would always apologize because i felt awful for making her feel bad tried motivating her i got a gym membership went with her and followed her many diet plans it very quickly became that i was going by myself and coming home to her on the sofa eating something unhealthy i was going to the gym so much because i didn't want to be at home sitting next to this miserable person who i was expected never to criticize and be okay with it i was physically repulsed to touch her we had s maybe twice in that final year her parents tried too cooking very healthy meals when we would visit them cutting all sugary treats out of the house even when she wasn't there but every day she'd want a takeaway or something unhealthy and guilt-trip me into getting it when i said you get what you want i'm having a salad i was the bad guy because i wasn't being fat with her tomorrow never came ever she would always be saying as of monday i'm really going to try but for the weekend let me enjoy myself that became every weekend and when monday came it was i had an awful day at work i want to curl up with pizza and tv it got to the stage where she would say i know i say this all the time but this time it'll be different this time i'm going to try but she wouldn't skipping the gym because she felt sick or wasn't in the mood or i'll double up tomorrow i stopped believing her but still if i saw her making any effort i praised and supported her it was always short-lived here's the caveat in an attempt to make her take the issue seriously after months and months of trying to talk to her and getting rebuked and maybe get her to appreciate how i felt i told her it had crossed my mind to break up with her that i really wasn't happy but that i was willing to work on our relationship and do what i could to make it better in hindsight not my best move but honest to god i didn't know how to get through to her it all unraveled after we came home from visiting my parents a couple of weeks later she was moaning about wanting something to eat for the plane and asked me to get her something from the vending machine i refused she's got her own money and the machine was about 10 steps away considering we'd had a large breakfast about an hour ago we're about to start boarding and it's a 20-minute plane trip she goes off really overreacting and when her parents picked us up at the other end started chewing me out in front of them it was at this point i realized i just didn't care anymore i didn't care what her parents thought of me or how upset i'd made her after everything i did to help i wasn't even allowed to say no to her when she wanted me to get her food they say the opposite of love isn't hate it's indifference and that was what i felt at that moment we get home and long story short words were exchanged and she smacked me upside the head didn't hurt but hard enough to knock my glasses off that was the final straw we broke up that night and i moved out that week got my own place and a new job so i'm doing great looking back all i can say is that she wasn't fulfilling a need for me and i obviously wasn't fulfilling a need for her either okay so i don't think op broke up with his girlfriend because she was fat he broke up because she changed her personality changed not because her body changed to be honest i think the poor girl has an eating disorder and maybe even depression but you can't try to solve other people's problems if those people don't want to heal themselves she didn't want to help herself so it's not possible for somebody else to be able to help her i hope you enjoyed the video guys i hope you like the changes and don't forget to leave a comment also don't forget to like the video and also subscribe see you in the next one bye

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 4,875

Rating: 4.8842974 out of 5

Keywords: reddit girl, reddit, reddit sister, reddit sil, reddit mother, reddit disown, reddit mil, r/askreddit, reddit parents, r/entitledparents, r/girl, r/sister, r/sil, r/mother, r/disowned, askreddit, askreddit girl, askreddit sister, askreddit sil, askreddit family, askreddit mother

Id: t9djpBGvOMA

Length: 12min 54sec (774 seconds)

Published: Mon May 10 2021