Everything Wrong With Toy Story In 10 Minutes Or Less

47 seconds of logos backwards end school spelled with a k how old is Andy's supposed to be in this movie again because unless it's six he should know better either that or he made all these box buildings as a six year old and is still playing with them years later which is just saddens imaginations computer animation baby collects another soul if you look at directly in the eyes also in this giant ass two-story house with only one adult why the hell does Andy have to share a bedroom with the baby sister does mom have like three separate crafting rooms Andy is addictive woody this household has a Super Nintendo system but apparently no games to play with it also Andy has a Super Nintendo but would still rather play with woody dolls probably because of the lack of games I'm guessing unlike most kids Andy actually closes the door to his room a good thing too or else the toys I'd have to wait until no one was in the house to come to life pull my string the birthday party's today with the sheer number of toys strewn around this house and Woody's apparent wealth of logic and street smarts there was no way he would get the date of the birthday party wrong overly dexterous plastic pig not only toss his coin in the air without opposable thumbs but also lands it perfectly straight up so it goes into his piggy bank slot how did mr. Potato Head even know Picasso's work to make the joke in the first place either slink has all these checker pieces set up on the wrong color or else and I really hesitate to say this but I may have been playing checkers wrong my whole life did the pieces not go on the black squares sorry John Lasseter no one is reading to suppose a 200 page book concerning your 1988 oscar-winning short tin toy nice try animators scene does not contain a cartoon lapdance also the idea of toys having sex there's still plastic right it opens up so many questions about lubricants and chafing and whether these toys were built anatomically correct I forgot I was watching a kids movie yeah they can hear you and possibly Andy and his mom can hear you too and everybody outside that open window as well a minute ago what he needed the speaker to move away so there wouldn't be feedback now I can stand as close as he wants take a look those presents what if Andy would walk in the bedroom right now huh do you people have any idea the emotional scarring you'd cause if he saw all this what he doesn't order the soldiers out to do recon for another 45 seconds or so so they literally have no way to know if Andy's approaching but there's still way out of position none of the neighbors see this stuff I'm not the only person in America who spies on his neighbor's wheat his totally solid plastic binoculars actually work and tees it none for the surprise buzz lightyear later Andy's gifts would be proof that he's unloved these two always open the closet door without using the handle Buzz Lightyear to Star Command come in Star Command do all toys start out thinking they're real or is Buzz unique in that regard did all the other toys have a similar coming to grips with it experience more buzz is in the typical I'm a toy pose here but how did it deluded toys such as himself ever learn to do this how do they know not to say anything to humans when you really thought for a fact that he was a Space Ranger you know what Bravo for simulating the passage of time with the shadows that just blows my mind this is a hilarious moment when both thinks he's gonna die but you're telling me this is the first time since his arrival that his helmet has come off Andy has had enough time to change his posters and linens and ditch woody for a new favorite toy but he hasn't pressed all the buttons yet a real little boy pushed all those buttons back as soon as the gift was open every single piece of exploded combat Carl debris flies straight at our main characters instead of any of the other directions in the 360-degree spectrum that it could have flown somehow this nuns from the car knocks all these tacks out of the corkboard I see Buzz Lightyear went to the Prometheus school running away from things Buzz Wilhelm this is why this toys come to life while humans are gone thing would never work I got bailed out here only because Andy yelled down to his mom wide open window is still left wide open when family leaves for pizza planet I'm assuming they're going to Pizza Planet at a decent hour but they go to a filling station that is practically deserted and a surrounding town that looks totally deserted also Andy always closes his door at home but he leaves the Vans door wide open while they pump the gas and presumably go into the store allowing not only Buzz and Woody to exit but for any hobo to sneak into the van also it took like five seconds for Andy's mom to put the nozzle in the gas tank start fueling and completely leave the gas pumps so that Woody and Buzz could have their fight and no one could see it okay not to be an [ __ ] or anything but once you're out of the view of the driver you don't need to sit still do you Woody and Buzz argue loudly so that any truck driver could hear luckily no one does conveniently the Chucky Cheese like Pizza Planet also delivers and just happens to drive to this abandoned gas station where I heard a guy got murdered that one time monstrous stack of pizzas allows buzz the perfect cover also isn't this plan totally over once he grabs the pizzas and delivers them to whomever he's gonna see him when he takes the pizzas or when he comes back right pizza delivery guy leaves his pizza sleeves in the truck to keep buzzes plan working Pizza Planet serve as a 128 ounce mega goal also burgers Buzz and Woody demonstrate they can somehow see out of these containers by freezing in position well before the kids run by then demonstrate they can't see out of the containers by running into each other Sid just happens to be at the Pizza Planet because evil always lurks at Pizza themed restaurants - what better place Sid puts one quarter in and gets a prize on the first Pole this claw works unlike any other in the history of the prize machine universe I'm sorry sit doesn't win this one there's no way evil character has at least one light source that is a single bulb swinging free from a chain cliche here's where buzz finally learns this is just a toy but one thing is off about this it's this room the adult sleeping and the recliner is obviously into hunting with a duck wallpaper and the deer head mounted on the wall there cans strewn about that say Cola and root beer but we should take these to suggest alcohol not soft drinks there's a wrench used to turn on the power of the TV and a coat hanger used as an antenna a forlorn guitar propped up against it it's a poor family possibly a failed musician what program is this down in the dumps adult watching we're a Buzz Lightyear commercial targeted at kids would be playing the string of Christmas lights that what he was hiding in had disappeared in this shot and magically reappear in the shot how would you even begin to get back into position and put this away in time if someone walked into the room right now well he's been gone for like not even a day yet and everything falls apart that would be an impossible throw for a human to make even dude perfect would need like 20 or 30 takes but they're cannibals that's great but how does it explain this to himself when he sees that magically fixed toys it sure wasn't his parents that did it and he fall asleep and stay asleep while still holding something like this hat would it drop to the floor the moment he started to drip off okay moving you cheated just 15 seconds ago buzz couldn't even look at his foot why not making the standard noises that accompany the movement of hard plastic toy action figures but then so we can have a little wee surprise buzz is suddenly able to stand up and walk away and climb up on top of the crate when I'm making a single sound with a heavy ass rocket taped to his back since alarm clock goes off at 7 a.m. which he set the previous night at 8:25 that means it took roughly 11 hours for Woody to start asking buzz to help while he was under the crate but the hell was he doing before then toys don't need to sleep okay let's move either Sid is taking way too long to launch his Firecracker buzz or these misfit toys and woody put together a fairly elaborate plan way too [ __ ] quickly Sid sister heard the doorbell but not the skateboard full of toys going down the stairs what he waits much longer than he needs to in order to distract Sid I mean that fuse is practically lit already wind up from comes out of the mud completely clean I'm okay with talking sentient toys in a movie I really am but I'm not okay with talking sentía toys that can run fast enough to catch up to a truck moving at even the slowest speed toys plastic fingers have a stronger grip than a dog's jaws in other words ya know Woody is puppy chow Andy's family moved without sealing their boxes well thank goodness for that conveniently timed and extremely long red light this is cute and all but you can clearly see that while wittiest beings fun he only has the accelerator pressed on the controller and nothing is touching the steering wheel abortion so RNC's should not be spinning in circles right now also Arcee is a talking sentient Tony like the rest of them there are times in this movie where he freely moves in his own will so how does this work does the remote control supersede our seas own women as a thinking toy why doesn't the remote controller have its own separate sentient personality as a jump button on that controller to this guy in the blue car must be flipping out seeing a remote-control car driving to other toys toward a moving van with a bunch of other toys cheering them in the back whoever inscribing this truck doesn't notice this ah Disney didn't we get enough of that song the year before this came out I'm sorry slink but in my experience with your sort of toy you're basically worthless forever now you'd make a decent instrument for a strangulation or accidental maiming of oneself and that's about it the rocket wow that match never fell out during all that hell I'm kind of surprised the rocket didn't fall off but the match I think is long gone and don't get me started on Woody's hat either people hunt this is where I stop and ask you to ponder one thing if Sid had never tortured woody then Woody and Buzz would never be able to put this plan together and be returned to Andy which means the movie sort of saying torture is a necessary evil and I'm okay with that and I am NOT okay with that the street was dead empty for like forever just a second ago Andy asks no questions why the two toys he was looking for suddenly show up in a box right next to it let's go home and blegh Code Red repeat did you order the Code Red god damn right I did what's that button do I'll show you flying with the dead elven on our back flight guidance we're getting awfully close to center here where's watch that middle gimbal we don't want you coming off in space look for them use them run away the goddamn gimbals i don't like confrontations I got your name I got your ass you will look well you will not cry what do you say I get someone else to watch the Sheep tonight oh oh oh

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 11,352,531

Rating: 4.7949009 out of 5

Keywords: cinema sins, everything wrong with toy story, cinemasins, toy story mistakes, wave jockey job, toy story review, cinema sins toy story, cinemasins toy story, everything wrong with, toy story

Id: y8F1Xl52q_Q

Length: 10min 32sec (632 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 28 2014

Reddit Comments

[u/duskhat]

The real sin is that Jeremy used a still from the sequel's sequel for the sins tally: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8F1Xl52q_Q#t=546

ding

[u/xxdofxx]

The forest gump line at the end. God, my childhood....

[u/Fantastic_Doom]

Be warned, with a near 100% on rotten tomato the youtube comments will be deadly