Everything Wrong With Home Alone In 15 Minutes Or Less

why does the cartoon version of the house and the logo look so different from the actual house it's a beautiful house use that for your stencil why yes this obviously well-off family with 1,600 kids has overdone it on the Christmas lights thanks for noticing McAllister's put lights on the trees across the sidewalk shortly prompting lawsuits from the dozens of kids tripping on the wires look I know it's chaotic and all but you're telling me not one of these kids are paying attention to the uniform police officer in the middle of the entryway do by any chance pickup with a voltage adaptor thing no I didn't have time to do that supposed to shave in France Peter ignores thousands of years of men's shaving with alternatives to electric razors those micro machines holy hell a film shoutout to micro machines whose commercials are on record as being one third the inspiration for cinema sins dude sends off who the hell would let an eight-year-old pack his own suitcase if I did that when I was eight years old it would have been full of only red vines and comic books also Kevin later fakes a giant Christmas party in creates a torturous series of traps in his house but packing a suitcase is just too overwhelming all kids no parents harry forgets that he just saw a full-fledged adult walk by and ignore him two minutes ago you would the French call Liz incompetent Angela clearly got a hold of an English to French translation book but this is the best insult she could come up with she has something to drink he's gonna wet the bed everyone is giving this poor kid a massive amount of motivation to wish to spend Christmas alone this family makes the Tenenbaums look like the severs this is an orgy of evidence that this is a boy's room from the 90s Michael Jordan poster check random sports equipment placed perfectly on shelf got it poster of bikini babe definitely time of your life board game you bet wait what is it sure that French babes don't shave that pits Sam it's East also what is buzz worried about he's 14 years old looks like Biff Tannen sander T little brother I don't think he'll be getting any during his French holiday check it out oh man Marley buzz who's window faces Marley's house is fascinated to see a dude that he's presumably noticed a million times since living here because we needed a quick way to introduce him also you did not notice this from the far side of the room no your soul family and half the people on this block how come the cops don't arrest him no in the first config I realize this is fourteen-year-old logic but do they really believe this [ __ ] killed his family and half the block but there wasn't enough evidence for conviction was Johnnie Cochran in this case not only is this reckless driving it'll definitely lead to the pizza toppings getting all shifted to one side and then there's a cheeseless side and everyone suffers because this [ __ ] didn't notice a stop sign little Nero's must have the fastest pizza oven ever or at least pre makes pies with every possible topping combination and make this arbitrary 20 minute self-imposed deadline also how big can that delivery zone be like a half mile or less from the parking lot he'll only have automatic timers for our lights locks for our doors that's about as well as anybody can do these days right dude house alarm systems have been around since the 1870s and you can clearly afford one so that is not the best you can do even in 1990 buzz is cramming this mount like a Neanderthal here but a second later is eating pizza like a normal human being we did laughs you want a somebody's gonna have to barf it all up it's gone look I had an older brother in real life and he did plenty of older brother things to me but even he thinks this movie's older brother is about three steps too far I'm starting to think that fuller is going to pee on Kevin intentionally which maybe early signs of euro philia yeah it's a dick move for Kevin to tackle bus but why the hell would they leave the tickets and passports out on the counter right next to all the milk these people deserve the heartache of a missing child even though Kevin's dad is concerned about the safety of the plane tickets he immediately discards one of the tickets that just happens to be Kevin's at this point I'm starting to think they actively want to lose this kid um still pizza most if not all the pizza was unharmed by the spilled milk that everyone freaked out over rather than take the opportunity to come back to the kitchen in case more of the house Harry is apparently hanging out and shooting just put the pizza guy at the entrance somewhere deep in the Internet there must be some erotic fan fiction about Kevin's mom and the pizza delivery dude but I will not ruin my childhood by googling it somewhere else Kevin's last-ditch attempt to avoid being peed on is the main reason he's forgotten in the morning McAllister's elect to use their most terrifying santa as the one that greets you at the front door this clock literally has battery backup written on it but goes off immediately when the power is knocked out Shh the transporter knocks repeatedly on the door waking no one before decided to try the much more effective doorbell okay I'm willing to believe the power outage would have led the parents to oversleep but there are 15 people in this house not one of them is a light sleeper or an early riser we needed something besides sped up McCallister's getting ready footage to cut to so they went with this knock hilarious nosy neighbor kid Bravo movie the kid from across the street doesn't get home alone his family even though he's left the house maybe his parents actually care about it don't be a [ __ ] 911 Heather did actually come up with the right number of kids but counts herself at number three and again at the end in addition to the Murphy kid I'm surprised Heather stellar counting skills didn't lead to more kids being left behind there's a huge amount of things to go just perfectly for Kevin to be left including the ability of all 11 kids to utterly ignore this kid that's announcing himself loudly by saying goodbye to them we're gonna make this plane it leaves in 45 minutes Frank's an [ __ ] but he's right even with no traffic it'll still take at least 30 minutes to get from Winnetka to O'Hare and they are trying to make an international flight with 15 people did you can't hit yes she did instead of counting faces she counted heads leading to this entire movie's events amid heavy holiday hustle and bustle the giant-ass McAllister clan is able to run right through O'Hare Airport without being slow flight counter woman let's all the family members on the plane without even glancing at their tickets hope we didn't forget anything Kevin apparently got into mom's valium supply last night to be able to sleep through the commotion of 14 raucous people getting ready at the same time American Airlines this movie is simply expert at taking us through the whole house and showing the props that Kevin will later use like the mannequin parts taking us in off to celebrate this awesomeness kids somehow didn't know about the airport shuttles fine whatever he's young but thinking the entire extended family could fit in these two cars that's a bad one Kevin unknowingly ingests a heavy stimulant and spends the next several minutes tripping balls what teenage boy keeps his porno mags right at the top of his footlocker your mom will totally find that hide it under your filthy mattress like everyone else future psychopath Kevin McCallister stages a mass execution of beloved sports figures what else can we be forgetting Kevin's mom gets a lot of blame for being a crappy parent which is fair let's not forget his dad it's only 12:30 p.m. Central Time and they probably only just flown over New York but it's pitch dark outside this plane because movie forgets at a time zone okay there's no way in hell that Kevin would be able to get from the top of the stairs and out the front door without stopping at the bottom of the staircase because he would just hit the floor but even if that didn't stop him he would run into a wall because the staircase isn't in line with the door but even if that didn't stop him he wouldn't get any air coming out of the house because there's nothing to lift him up when he got to the first floor all in all this is some serious bull okay ask you miss question kind of answers it to number 664 numbers six seven - 671 now forget this robbers knowledge of the neighborhood I'm much more interested in why these three neighbors all have their outside lights time to come on 15 seconds apart from each other it's almost like they knew someone would later be narrating and timing their turn on this wait in car door wakes Kevin up here but he couldn't hear his entire family leaving this morning while Harry and Marv have a bad habit of x+ near windows kevin had to have supersonic hearing to be able to tell what they said this is the third time I've been tempted to remove a sin just for John Williams amazing score there are at least three themes that are all badass and it's for a Christmas comedy I'm getting in Kate harasses this one poor French lady when there's an entire bank of phones that could be stalking American woman steps off plane in Paris and puts American coin into pay phone and guess what it works Kevin was just looking all around when he was announcing he wasn't afraid anymore but somehow missed the old scary looking man until it was comedic irrelevant also if old man Marley was out and about since he lives next door shouldn't he have seen Harry and Marv just a few minutes ago we eventually know Marley's a nice guy and all but for now he'll just stand there in silence terrifying a young boy the memories of Kevin's horrific screams will make him chuckle himself to sleep that night Kevin screamed so loud he breaks the fourth wall didn't get anybody I'm sorry Kate nothing but a bunch answering machines if the phone lines are down in their neighborhood how was Leslie able to get to their answering machines there's no one home the house looks secure this [ __ ] says the house is secure even though Kevin didn't lock the door as he was running away from Marley it smells fishy this cop must be on Sal Maroni spay rule or something what clock was Chris Columbus using its 8:03 p.m. in Chicago when the cop comes over which would be 3:00 a.m. Paris time but its broad ass daylight out here emboldened woman gets out of the ticket this officer was writing and goes on a vicious crime spree for the next seven days we're the Wet Bandits ransacking someone's entire house is okay but clogging their drains and leaving their water running makes Harry sick sad no he looked at me weird why would he run well for a while you guys are acting like you're about to abduct him I do in the church instead of actually going into the church which is much safer and requires less subterfuge Kevin somehow finds an unused cloak and uses that's too high so we can see how clever he is I love the attention to detail Kevin put into the mannequins but is it really necessary to put actual cards and poker chips in front of them Kevin had no idea when Harry and Marv would be back right so he's been puppeteering this Christmas party all night and the anticipation of their arrival I admire his stamina I don't know if he can keep the charade up all night long given he'll have no idea if they drove by or not you live in the most boring Street in the United States of America says the kid who claims a serial killer lives next door eats a kid runs off thinking he's getting shot at and never calls the cops about the crazy man with the tommy gun that lives in the McCallister house it's awesome that Kevin's adjusted to life on his own and all but why will you have this much laundry after two days by himself right now looks like there's nobody home last night the place is jumping maybe everyone's hungover hearing and can you keep it down earlier Kevin decided to open the pack of firecrackers he found in Buzz's root and put them in this kitchen drawer because his ability to predict what these burglars will do is basically at a supernatural level the kids there the parents gotta be home roll credits also on what basis does Harry make this assumption he saw a big party last night and the lights came on when they tried to break in the night before just because he's seen this kid twice without parents he knows he's by himself [Music] luckily Harry will loudly proclaim his plan for ANCA here and Kevin will happen to open a goddamn window to listen to it Jesus isn't we must have inspired the bullet that obi-wan witness is an attack of the clones forcible clear netting you can say hello when you see me and you can stop being a scary bastard how you feel about your family is a complicated thing rather than inquire as to why an eight-year-old is wandering around on Christmas Eve and attempting to help Marly launches into his own bull sob story the basement you liked it that's basement I don't care how mad I was I talked to my dad especially around the holidays except for that time that I wish my entire family away nothing that totally opened communication Kevin cuts this extremely close waiting to tell 8:00 p.m. before even starting his plan to horribly mutilated inherit also the scheme heavily depends on to delinquent burglars being perfectly punctual these automatic lights are just coming on now at 8:00 p.m. well after dark but earlier Harry called them out as coming on well before Kevin hid under the bed at 7:48 this is my house I have to sure but you could also just call the goddamn cops as soon as the robber show up rather than design a saw like torture house not only did Kevin have time to develop this pain map in less than one hour he found time to colorize it water is poured on the sidewalk but Kevin is out here and just a sweater so it's highly unlikely this would freeze in time for Harry and Marva show up I know I'm hammering this home but seriously this in preparation would take days not an hour Jesus Christ he's running zipline from the house to the tree that we later seek and hold two grown men I had two 'taken at least 32 minutes and he's doing all this other boat what he's got time for mac and cheese now old bulls no way all that was done with three minutes to spare idiot kid tries to eat mac and cheese with a knife and fork why did the McCallister's have a doggy door there's no mention of a dog or cat throughout this entire movie is its sole purpose shooting bad guys in the crotch with be teased at this point the burglars should call the cops on this psychotic little bastard that openly rejoices after shooting people in the face also premature celebration and this has been Joe Pesci stunt doubles physical comedy hour thanks for coming join us next week for the Harrison Ford nude stand-in special Kevin's macabre addiction relies not only on the fact that Marv would pull this chain even though there's a light on behind him but that he would be incapable of getting out of the way of the slowly falling iron it should be noted that Harry is breaking and entering in full view of the rest of the block which we've seen has several parties going on you're telling me no one's outside on a smoke break and notice the bad dude trying to break into the nice house Harry puts his hand on the doorknob sideways but when we see his hand after shoving it in the snow the M is upright and not turning 90 degrees to the left not only does this not burn the house down why the [ __ ] allister's have an antique blowtorch and it works it's too late for you kid ok like you've probably served hard time and maybe even killed people before but wait till you witness the power of my feather fan kevin has a fascination with feet but the angry kind he's kind of like the bizarro Quentin Tarantino you guys give up oh yeah thirsty for more Kevin McCallister could have called the cops several minutes ago but would like to enact a few more acts of torment onto these wretched bastards who makes a hilariously specific threat like this Kevin turns this impeccably designed unholy house of pain into a damn footrace at the end tarantula ex machina hey guys had kevin just run to the Murphy's house and left Marv and Harry up on the rope he'd have avoided any dramatics when he got there but know this little [ __ ] knows no mercy Jesus how long does it take these cops to respond since Kevin called them we've been through the spider scene the tree house thing the rope gag ran across the street through the capture and liberation of Kevin and now he's back home imagine if this were real emergency have yourself a merry little Christmas playing during emotional moment cliche also we never see Kevin's actual bedroom he's been sleeping in his parents room this whole time given how much everyone hated him at the beginning of the movie I'm starting to think his parents didn't give him more that's okay keV you can soothe your crushing disappointment by reliving all the carnage you inflicted last night wait you're telling me he cleaned up everything from last night's rampage no micromachines feathers paint cans or broken Christmas ornaments anywhere Jesus that's even more chilling keV it's pretty cool as you didn't burn the place down it really is considering that whole blowtorch thing how did you guys get home oh he took the morning flight remember the one you didn't want to wait for and we've arrived 30 seconds after your arduous journey but instead of riding in a polka van we ate shrimp in Paris haha dumbass Merry Christmas no kiddin [ __ ] yeah hey Peter regards his youngest child in the same bum used Manor as one would regard an entertaining waiter at Olive Garden and then after moving heaven and earth to get home to Kevin he is immediately abandoned again yeah what a nightmare I'm sure nothing like this will ever happen again I'm sorry [Music] [Applause] [Music] French fries and French dressing and French bread see you the boyfriend I know she's got a boyfriend are you gonna kill me snakes snakes snakes I don't know no snakes read sign lemonade read it delicious cookie googleman yeah does this ring a bell I'm not wearing underwear bulge I'll show you kid crack-shot at this [Music]

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 3,582,267

Keywords: cinemasins, cinema sins, home alone, everything wrong with, eww, review, movie, mistakes, everything wrong with home alone, cinemasins home alone, cinema sins home alone, cinemasins everything wrong with, home alone reaction, home alone movie review, home alone movie, home alone movie clip, home alone sins, home alone trailer, home alone jokes, wave jockey job

Id: gJsE5Z3OPkM

Length: 15min 32sec (932 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 14 2019