Everything Wrong With Independence Day Resurgence

[Music] mother logo overload when he thinks this trip through CGI space is going to get me excited about interstellar travel when in fact all my future astronaut sperm just tragically died of disinterest it's a salient seeing the president with more speech because this future alien technology knows it wasn't recorded right sitting up in bed after a nightmare cliche okay let's unpack this super expositional nightstand shot first he's reading about the German air force also he has a cane so he's clearly old and hobbled now third of all we have the repeating doodles of a circle and it's radius fancy pen fancy watch dell remote control and a phone with more buttons than the Starship Enterprise I guess we're supposed to glean that this former president is still obsessed and being haunted by visions of a circle with a line in it but mostly I'm just concerned about that dell remote it's upside down here so you have to work to see the logo which you think would make Dell less likely to pay for this placement and yet here it is baffling man I didn't even know Dell made remote control devices for 20 years the world to see no armed conflict nations have put their petty differences aside these Jumbotron screens are hovering Will Smith has better things to do in the scene you're the one that's bagged in the White House it's too bad Mae Whitman died and wasn't able to reprise her role as Oh still alive still actively working in Hollywood - wow this is awkward liam hemsworth is in the moon vehicle which might explain the break he and Miley took in real life though you could just as easily blame that pink armpit hair phase she went through around the time of this movie's events I mean filming I was the youngest valedictorian in the history of the Academy expose Austin in case you confused it with one of Jupiter's moons rather there are only 36 women on this moon base well that number is worthless unless or until you tell me how many men there are but movie doesn't care about that it just wants to slide in and I've been away a long time and I'm who me joke movie expects me to believe that this one tiny ship is going to prevent this big thing from falling and commanded by an inferior Hemsworth no less engines are overheating but the movie despite personally giving us that information will ignore the consequences of it you're grounded until further notice what he means to say is you're grounded until the aliens attack again and we need an outside the box thinker like yourself get me director Levinson you mean that guy who did diner you think he'd make this better I'm all for it he's an original sign despite commanding alien technology over the last 20 years cellular service is still spotty you need to me seriously I've been chasing you across the planet for three weeks now excuse me who who are you again did this guy just start yelling at David right now halfway to their destination without David even knowing who he is or why he's here I mean this movie how holy they dragged him for maniac into this movie didn't they she looks more uncomfortable in this then she doesn't Antichrist and that movie involved a scene in which scissors were used in a manner that violate their Terms of Use oh look the same basic circle with a line doodle the former president has been drawing a lot I bet that means something despite the doodles simplicity he's people for a grin war with the aliens for ten years a premise let is way better than this whole movie but sure let's shoot this one instead it happened on its own two days ago and now we get the Winnie that kick starts the movie the ship turned its own lights on the call is coming from inside the house of course your wrath is the only ship that landed in 96 total bull of course the first movie made it look like every ship crash landed and was on fire after they destroyed the mothership but sure this one managed to land on its own and no one said about it they were drilling I don't know case closed then I guess visa we don't know so it must be impossible to crack 20 years ago and we destroyed the mothership we detected a burst in an x-band frequency directed toward deep space funny how we're only just now hearing about that del paid good money to have their laptop slams shut in frustration and an upside-down remote control shot on the night stamp you're a pilot he's a pilot the other guy's a pilot I'm giving out wings international legacy squadron also this movie just got a lot more stealth than I think it intended Captain Hillier considering he died during a test flight how do you feel taking off for the moon man this reporter is the worst and the screenwriters decided that Will Smith's character died during a test flight instead of from dating a stripper China has been integral to the earth space defense program amazing how helpful China suddenly became and all the movies released in the last few years Jasmine took the rear career path from exotic dancer to respected doctor in the last one years and also of course she's a doctor because we're in an Emmerich movie so they're sending an elite squad of eight pilots to the moon and that's supposed to what I'm a guy I like pretty girls but even I'm not comfortable with how sexualized this girl's deep laning ritual is this is the very definition of the male gaze for a sexy pilot to suddenly overcome with the urge to excrete pheromones while standing inside a jet um can't they just not be related why is everybody somebody something in this movie milk and all the last thing I said that my parents was I hated them ladies and gentlemen roland emmerich pandering to the cheapest of human emotions in the sleaziest of ways once again please applaud jake decides to watch the training video where he nearly killed Dylan possibly realizing that an unseen audience needs a backstory brackish makes up for miss coma after everything alien related in this movie awoke from comas two days ago this just came in from Hubble still using the Hubble after mastering all that alien technology huh didn't want to give the James Webb telescope a shot out sure it's not an operation yet but this is a movie damn it up the alert level to red to red alert then I'm calling Star Trek on your ass listen I want you to pack up your stuff and go to your sisters this guy just got evidence there may be an alien attack and he's the moon base commander and his first move is to selfishly call his own wife before notifying any government types also how does a moon base detect the Saturn weirdness before Earth it's not that much further out that it's measurably closer to Saturn I feel like this whole moon base is just a little too James Bond II and stupid I know we're not on good terms with aliens but that's racist how did you suffer so much of their language how did you determine he deciphered anything from a one-second glance at this wingdings board you must be the pilot China sent that's your opening line in addition to being lame and obvious it's also kind of racist I was wondering if you wanted to get a drink maybe fall in love guys I think the syn counter just died from that pickup line we may need to manually count sins with an abacus after this take em out commander the sphere of peace thing that just flew to our moon to warn us about the aliens decided to do so without trying to communicate with us first or sending images of Hitler just flew to our airspace and expected the best all so sudden alien wormhole ship thing sucks the dust off the moon and everyone wants to shoot it except Goldblum and in this instance I gotta side with everyone but gold blue shoot that bat of the sky now I don't care that the movie will go on to show Goldblum was probably right use logic damn it they're coming back and this time we won't be able to stop this isn't Bill Pullman playing the president from the last movie gone crazy this is Bill Pullman the actor talking about Emmerich and its production team I will avenge it brother guessing your brother died during the first movies invasion but it's way more interesting to think that stuff cheetah killed your brother and that's why you killed and stuffed it cuz any other explanation for that stuff cheetah makes you a 100% [ __ ] I cannot root for FYI well how do you think you're going listen discount John Oliver he's clearly going to space with that spaceship right there and your question is unnecessary or at least misguided why in georgia's floyd everybody else is awesome this character so fun what with the constant whirring yelling in exasperation glad David decided to let him go on this trip Independence Day to would like to remind you how much David hates flying and how much 2016 Jeff Goldblum hates acting I'm actually glad no one is buying this guy's book puts him in his place you're the father of the guy not the guy you should have written a book about being the guy's father but no you wrote this and now you suffer a former president with full Secret Service detail has escaped using the fake body in the bed method because of course he has that is that's the crash site thanks David all these people but where's the humanity in this shot there's more realism in The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3d how did president want more get past several levels of security to even get this close to the current president every alien invasion movie these days makes it look like the moon is always in some fixed positions that aliens can visit just before they reach Earth ships more than 3,000 miles in Guyana that seems excessive I like a space computer that repeats everything it says it's helpful in case anyone missed that first broadcast it's like that yeah yeah science fiction entertaining and useful movie replaces original films landmark destruction scenes with moon based destruction scenes and I'm sorry just doesn't have the impact if I'm honest I don't really give a [ __ ] about the moment guy with headphones can't hear or feel destruction going on around him cliche it's an Emmerich staple this guy is really just shocked at how familiar all this is Man of Steel how can this ship with two main characters on it be so close to the massive destruction without being affected by it wait never mind I think I answered my own question what goes up must come down while I admit Jeff Goldblum is good at saying cheesy action lines like this what the [ __ ] is he talking about there's an alien ship landing on earth that never went up but merely came down on earth so what the screenwriter lazy much months before the brexit vote London gets good and hard something tells me this is only slightly more impossible than John Cusack miraculous drive in 2012 this scene could also be accidentally cut into 2012 but I wouldn't know the difference I'd like to get the landmarks even when the movie is being self-aware it somehow ends up being wrong this is clearly incidental damage from all the other three going on but let's laugh it up about how the aliens are landmark racist take your path yeah yeah me too all five screenwriters on this film collectively high-fived over the pee pants joke because it was righteous in its originality and hilariousness better come and see this you better come and see this okay here's judd hirsch has failed author character cooking a steak on a boat named after a Madonna song the Atlantic just in time to be in the center of the action because we all loved him so much in the first movie this will surely make us forget Will Smith rejected this turd rain you take the lead I gotta see about someone because that's how the military works Dylan flies back to the hospital just in time to witness how much of a failure he is it's saving his mom and she's dead so the question is did Vivica Fox ask for too much money did the screenwriters only just get out of character motivations 101 does roland emmerich hate strippers turn doctors yeah Judd Hirsch is basically Jesus in this boat I'm no longer remotely worried about his chances of survival he's untouchable luckily for brackish he decided to escape his room at just the moment when President Widmore arrived to open up the alien prison the other all the systems the depressed deranged former president overrode your modern-day security system this movie is aggressively stupid well now apparently the pronoun game spans across the universe I feel like this is some sort of metaphor where analog kills digital this is independent state to so probably not just shut up okay that's enough I feel like this movie almost certainly already showed me these underage driving melodramatic teens and yet this still feels like the first time I'm seeing them and I hate them I think they're after our molten core yeah but maybe they're trying to save humanity and get the earth spinning again like in the classic 2003 film the core also I guess there are no other good heat sources and the nearby solar systems like Suns and totally after the molten core you nailed it dude interesting that he's looking at a family photo in which the kid in the picture is not him and it will Smith get a 10 million dollar photograph appearance fee for this movie couldn't save her too late I wasn't cheeky enough this red mass on the top of the ship that's your target it's exactly the same but it's not in any way like the Death Star's weakness we're gonna send a fleet of drones to go in ahead of you and disable their shields makes you think you have the technology to disable their shields fourth of July wait those [ __ ] aliens waited 20 years and then attacked earth on the same calendar days before stupid-ass aliens Jesus she's happy because she's one of those pilots before they all took off and now that thing is no longer after few so now this plasma drill will take forever to cut down to the Earth's core even though it clearly has none of the earthly limitations I did when I tried to shovel my way down to it come and we have visible only just now how does any ship avoid being hit by these things seriously there's so much junk on this screen it's like playing that old Genesis game target earth that was impossible unless you put in a cheat code and loaded the cartridge into a toaster liam hemsworth and Will Smith's son collaborate to take out a single alien ship and are left alone by everyone to do that despite there being like ten times the alien ships in this airspace as Earth ships whatever cool movie moment watch it be damned everyone you should be dead is what I'm saying I think we need to fly inside to be even more like Star Wars sir she knows coming yeah cuz she looked at her front window look if you're gonna give this guy a connection to the aliens can you at least make him spew something not super obvious it's a trap a trap for what why would you lead these pilots in here only to disable their jets do they need a live humans for some reason I don't think they do which makes this it's a trap scene pretty pointless well there goes HBO again she baited us yeah she attacked you and you counter-attack but she was ready for it she's a regular Bobby Fischer aliens are attacking the space and the doors are being forcefully opened and yet no one has tried to take madam president anywhere safe she's basically closer to the doors than anyone in the room even all members of the presidential line of succession are presumed dead and buried I swear you want to sir well isn't that convenient every member of the presidential line of succession luckily this character is being played by William Fichtner have a little faith you want to talk about faith watching Joey King [ __ ] out judd hirsch for using colloquialisms during an alien invasion is not anywhere near my list of things I want to see because I am NOT rolling ever thank you God why if the two right lanes are so backed up people are outside their vehicles is this left lane so wide open I live in America dammit and I know for a fact this third Lane would be backed up too and there'd be ten makeshift lanes on the fields on either side it would also be backed up this planet has been unified in a way that John precedent in human history movie thinks it's going to give Bill Pullman another rousing speech moment but realizes Bill Pullman will only ever be allowed to have one of those in his lifetime dude is giving a motivational speech to one guy but others take notice and begin closing in to hear the rest of a cliche to me is our line look if you're gonna bring alien vs. predator into this we've lowered the bar to the point where we're not even high jumping anymore we're curling here's where the movie had a great opportunity to be an awesome alien sci-fi film having American pilots fighting in the alien ecosystem that is located entirely on this huge ship but instead the movie totally glosses over this is something they need to get away from rather than bathing how long can Earthlings hold their breath underwater on an alien space god dammit I am NOT even gonna finish that sentence movie can Daryl lick my balls also Independence Day Goblet of Fire this dumbass touches an alien sphere without anyone seeing it before it's too late and it just so happens to be the thing that opens this booking speeder I mean damn it my species shed our biological existence for a virtual one thousands of years ago so your species is a bunch of Lucy's then I came to evacuate as many of you as possible but instead of simply speaking English to you right away and giving you this awesome warning I needed to show up to your moon base like an idiot and get myself shot up first tracted it's molten core they use them to refuel their ships and grow their technology don't ask how they do that with a core that is mostly iron nickel alloy it's terrifying and super cool the system holds the key to superior technology that's why you lost right I mean they beat you you said you're the sole survivor why would I believe your tech is superior and there is a hidden planet where I teach refugees from other fallen worlds how to build weapons that will defeat them so there's a hidden planet that somehow magically appears to refugees as a flee their planet and once they land on said planet they're told to go find a sphere she knows what to do next I mean there are so many questions that will be answered by this movie because it thinks it's getting another sequel but now that I am activated the Queen will detect my signature and hunt me down maybe you should have sent an instruction manual first before coming here if we hide the real sphere inside the isolation chamber this spheres frequency can be read from space how much can an isolation chamber really do filled with cold fusion bombs and lure her out to the soft flats kuna ear movie you set off cold fusion bombs you're gonna kill everyone from here to Houston not if we use the shield generators from this base to containment laughs well I checked out an hour ago but this sounds suspiciously like both to me we were wrong we do not have seven hours until the earth core breach we only have one what a shocker the professional estimators in a roland emmerich movie were way off on their predictions and the danger is a lot more imminent I'll fly it in now you won't president Whitmore got ready for this just in time to crush his daughter's dreams of being a hero Julius finds a magic bus that the driver abandoned right when the station wagon was about to run out of gas excuse me down here there you go this movie saw guardians of the galaxy loved star-lord but failed to learn anything about story or originality in the process so we end up with this bolt while Jake does this can I ask again what the point of this trap was they basically allow the ships in and everyone realized oh no it's a trap and that sounded like something really really bad to what end they could have simply not trapped these guys and shot them down outside easily the aliens didn't need anything from them so this trap is totally worthless just technology hasn't changed at all interface sounds like that's a change in technology then doesn't it also amazing after the first movie that the aliens didn't advocate locking technology for their ships or require a password or alien DNA or anything that will prevent humans from using a man I just want you to know you'll make it out of here this is a cliche but I don't have the strength to write out the whole thing I'm just hoping you feel me on this one this is radios okay first of all how would you know that it's the world shortwave radio message board still operating during this super obvious alien invasion second of all why would you say this even if it's true are you trying to tell the aliens how to find your listeners or language I mean I'm kind of assuming you won't speak English here otherwise good luck yesterday he collapsed come with me quick this dad is a Kurt and if you didn't realize Bill Pullman was gonna die in this movie probably while sacrificing himself to save the planet then you don't watch movies very often it's good to see you flying again okay first of all saying this instead of I'm sorry I lied to you five minutes ago it places in the air like you would know terrible father yet the movie felt the need to recreate the sacrificial plane flying into the alien ship scene from the first movie because roland emmerich only has like two ideas max and those two ideas keeping and producing inbred child ideas that are somehow even worse well if she said why fighters till to us this gal would be excellent at cinemasins but terrible at cliche screenwriting there has to be a second whammy duh yep all-powerful alien Queens hold grudges just like you and me somebody's [ __ ] dogs in danger cliche it feels like this alien should have easily caught up to the bus and destroyed it by now or were these ships trying to blow up the alien should have destroyed the bus by now we are within six minutes actually nine but you couldn't possibly know the movie with the stor time to suit its needs but good ticking clock narration dude can come on movie how much [ __ ] you expect me to swallow like all of it I do have a gag reflex you know is there ever going to be a realization from these pilots that they're shooting is it working Oh what did the shield lose its maximum amount of hit points thank god this video game has been boring and confusing by the way why is the alien queen so intent to destroy the school bus and Patricia isn't the mission for her to find the sphere why does she care so much about these [ __ ] this alien queen is so motivated by flashes of anger it's a wonder she ever got this far and our earth takeover attempt how much you wanted that Liam Hemsworth saved her ass like all the dollars I got - very well he just ruined my back she lets a second guitar of our system this is where movies officially make you angry these [ __ ] flew out of the mothership 15 minutes ago but did the alien queen want to take control then nope just allow them to fly out no problem what about when these ships were firing at her a minute ago nope just allow them the time to save not Mae Whitman then control it these guys have no manual controls and the alien ships they stole then they turn on the fusion thrusters manually mind you and amazeballs I gotta controls back make up controls back Big Town if this movie just steal from Independence Day and aliens while taking Close Encounters of the Third Kind name in vain nice gag but his hands are both on the wheel and these wipers just turned on so that's some magic bull or else he's got a child under the dashboard where we can't see that's just turned on the wipers which raises even more questions and none of these crashing alien ships landed on anything or anyone important the end the marriage you trying to shoot me this joke is unfunny what's worse is that it's actually kind of offensive casually suggesting violence is commonplace in marriages but mostly it's unfunny yes let's let all the little school children get super up close to the we think she's dead but we don't know for sure alien queen and her dripping bodily fluids Jesus 10 years after this here in Brockovich takes David and his dad for all they're worth in a vicious yet just class-action lawsuit on behalf of these kids who all developed Neptune pneumonia you guys should stay with me for a while but we'd really like that what the pink movie this is some kind of prequel to lovely bones or something I mean old man walks up to four young kids and just adopts them on the spot with no checks and balances why is the ship flying away they killed the Queen sure but what now possesses it to go back into space is that something the sphere told us I'm not sure I get it wants us to lead their resistance well you should have made a better movie then because that's not happening unless Fox wants to hemorrhage more money we're still getting one anyway oh I feel like you're driving me to a court-martial this is crazy hey I'm in Hawaii - I may throw up on you B as in Furby as in Belize beautiful place just stay calm and don't burn this is no time to panic this is the perfect time to panic Charlie look at those fields down there are fields endless fields filled with cold fusion bombs and lure her out to the southwest and put any stock in this cold fusion Mambo Cambodia

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 4,831,066

Keywords: wave jockey job, cinema sins, cinemasins, eww, independence day: resurgence, independence day, resurgence, movie, review, everything wrong with, mistakes

Id: bA4_G2Otw9s

Length: 20min 38sec (1238 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 24 2016