Everything Wrong With The Running Man

[Music] opening credit font made possible by sega master system reading if you enter this latitude and longitude into your computer somewhere you'll find that you're in china not bakersfield california food riot in progress computer system with the graphics capability of a commodore 64 can determine that it's a food riot and that no weapons are present approximately 1500 civilians no weapons evident also ben somehow knows this despite the fact that the computer gives him all the information after he tells command unnecessary orders perfectly valid code doesn't work when you're getting shot at cliche [ __ ] security system knows how to concentrate all its energy into exploding the human head okay so this is clearly the last guy that had to kill to escape the prison and he had no gun so after they killed the one last guy with the gun the computer dude should have been easy to pick off well before this poor bastard chico got his head blown up you guys want to buy a hot stereo movie gets dweasel zappa so that he can quote lyrics from i'm the slime dumbest security code ever also why does this [ __ ] thing have numbers 10 through 12. are you ready two movies in 1987 this one and predator feature two future governors what's the sin count now california and minnesota future newscasts make everything ridiculously awkward by having reporters face toward the graphic inserts on a rotating cube they told me the last thing i was taken away for amber stops our sentence short for whatever reason so that ben has to ask her what the hell she's talking about this guy's occupation is anti-fire worker i guess the term firefighter becomes too hard to say in 2017 this guy's occupation is interpreter which should be interpreted as the incorrect spelling of interpreter they're all on a censored list 1987 movie envisions 2017 is a time where cassettes are still the main way to listen to music despite the fact that ben richards looks like arnold schwarzenegger and has a very specific body type all of the airport security is fooled by a hat and sunglasses futuristic travel pass doesn't seem to contain any information other than whoever holds this thing is totally legit [Music] security guy allows unverified couple to walk through simply because all of this is annoying futuristic phones advance leaps and bounds from 1987 simply by cutting off the circular earpiece and mouthpiece but keeps the cord for some reason he's wrapped i can mount to showtime [Music] makes for a dramatic shot i guess but they don't have anything they could inject him with that would knock him out for the same amount of time some airport personnel were not so lucky look i get that the news is controlled by the government and they want to make ben richards out to be worse than he is but there were literally hundreds of witnesses at the airport if you're gonna tell lies tell lies no one can refute looks like the concept of high-def tvs could be imagined back in 1987 but sticking it out in the middle of a rough area where it could get rained on peed on cracked possibly stolen and hundreds of other calamities were not a concern at all coke's inflation was deemed so crazy in 1987 that the filmmakers figured yeah they'll be six bucks in 2017. also the fictional cadre cola is such a big hit that coca-cola allows a competitor on their own machine either that or cadre is such a nasty corporation that they forced in on coke's machine but then why not make all the choices cadre if that's the case lucky didn't kill you too he'll rape you and kill you or kill you then rape you this woman seems to find rape appealing why the [ __ ] is a mirror down here is it so they can get this cool shot man as fast as they're going and as long as this is taking how deep into the earth are they going in order to play this game so in the middle of all this nonsense in the filing cabinet they keep a special section just for the bakersfield massacre there's not one file in this cabinet that refers to any other big story just random things like air surveillance and burial records and zone control also they keep an unedited version of the bakersfield massacre in this filing cabinet because covering your tracks here in the locker room why would this game show need a locker room a person from the audience picks a stalker and that stalker usually goes out and kills the convict are there times they don't kill the convict are they on a clock are there other stalkers waiting their turn in the unlikely event that the other guy fails and who are these people none of them are stalkers we see later but here's a bunch of half-naked people hanging out in the locker room nonetheless apparently the crowd will be betting on someone called zub0 and not sub-zero as originally planned sub-zero conveniently cut a piece of fence post with razer wire on it that ben conveniently sees while he's fighting for his life so that ben can conveniently slice sub-zero's throat with it here is sub-zero now plane zero interesting quip considering that plane zero is actually more than yeah he was a sub-zero pain in the neck arnold schwarzenegger is james bond i think maybe dynamo but what was last year's champion champion of what killing the most convicts how do the stalkers on the running man compete with each other and how is that a fair contest when the audience decides who goes out in the arena will you please help me welcome our mystery contestant i guess once the government allowed killian to put ben richards on the running man they allowed him to just take anybody he wanted even people who hadn't been convicted of a crime yet [Music] jutting piece of rebar available for all your table turning needs okay amber i'm going to need you to remember these numbers because i'm clearly going to die soon and the convenient plot device to get you on the running man won't be in vain where's dynamo i thought this was a tag team buzzsaw has a clear advantage wastes it by hoisting the saw like a baseball bat instead of just going ahead and stabbing richards with it there's dynamo expertly waiting in the dark with his suit made of light brights while buzz saw gets his balls sawed in half [Music] that was kind of dynamo to wait until weiss made sure amber knew the d code combination before electrocuting him with the clear advantage of having the power of electricity in his hands and ben running straight for him dynamo decides getting in the atv is the best choice in the situation did he really think this was gonna work no i wouldn't kill a helpless human being not even sadistic scum like you but cutting buzz saw's balls off a second ago that was completely necessary but i hope you leave enough room for my fist because i'm going to ram it into your stomach and break your goddamns fine okay well i've got to take a sin off for that line right there we still got two crack stalkers out there right dynamo and fireball dynamo just got his ass handed to him who would give that [ __ ] another chance and why bother bringing out fireball and letting him do his little fire show on the stage if he wasn't going to be the absolute next stalker to go out into the arena and i choose ben richards that voice won me [ __ ] since everything in this society is censored by the government it's amazing this granny wasn't immediately thrown into the arena for having such a [ __ ] potty mouth [Applause] holy [ __ ] you did just see ben conker three stalkers right what kind of [ __ ] odds are you giving yourself here that dude bet 200 if he wins you have to pay him 20 grand and then there's all the other [ __ ] betting on richards these bookies never heard of even money before basically that's your ass if richards wins you might as well kill yourself face this way fireball predicted that ben and amber would have no clue where they were going and would end up in this exact spot wait these barrels are actually filled with gasoline they just leave that valuable [ __ ] lying around in old barrels in a game arena which reminds me maybe they put the gas here on purpose because it's fireball's level i mean sub-zero had his own hockey rink but what was so special about dynamo and buzzsaw's level nothing and that's sad too because buzzsaw was last year's champion hey look a magical box of road flares all these dead guys despite obviously not being military wore dog tags so amber could identify them what's the audience watching right now it can't be this right because there are too many secrets in this room and probably no cameras now that's what i call a slow burn am i right there's no place in here where ben could just be hanging from the ceiling when amber walked in we see a basic ceiling with overhead lights it's been richard spider-man so wait they were watching that i'm afraid not besides the big reveal that the three winners from last year actually died is totally out of the bag if they did forget it killian i won't do it that's why i bothered to put most of my costume on because i'm putting my foot down laughing wife would have died for nothing they didn't i have the uplink code you still remember that i know we mentioned that these two guys were governors of actual states but these guys were governors of actual states try this instead what is it it's the original video from the bakersfield massacre how was she able to keep that she was caught stealing this thing and then they put her in running man clothes did she maria full of grace this video somewhere where did you hide that it's none of your business haha cheeky but [ __ ] but at least the movie acknowledges it which is more than i could say for most mr spock you have to come who is mr spa okay earlier there was a joke about someone not knowing what gilligan's island was because it's 2017 and haha young people but some computer nerd guy doesn't know what the spock is that's pretty short-sighted future prediction right there hello you're on the air introduction of a cell phone near the end of the movie makes one wonder why there weren't more cell phones in this movie like our previous winners whitman price and haddad remember that the resistance did not have pictures of these dead people especially not from the same angles that we saw them in the movie what fish down the face don't touch that dime man they got every conceivable angle of the bakersfield massacre back then i mean this is thorough we're experiencing technical difficulties [ __ ] professional spotlight guy keeps doing his job even as the world of the running man caves in around him idiot [ __ ] just starts shooting wildly with hundreds of innocent people around oh shoot you [ __ ] i'm sure i'm glad ben didn't kill this guy earlier because now we get to see a beautiful scene like this this shot i might be wrong but wouldn't the electricity pass through all the water that's falling in the room right now and electrocute amber as well at the very least she's in danger and sitting here watching this dude die is not a good strategy random [ __ ] these security guys keep coming through a side door one by one like it's contra or double dragon or something why is gillian laughing what is this one [ __ ] going to do that all the armed guys couldn't do i got to score some steroids and i'm glad this dude walked all the way here just so he could pull the rug out from under killian do they have a bunch of these sleds just ready to go at a moment's notice i mean seriously why is there a mirror in this tunnel so that explodes for some reason wait these guys aren't dead yet for not being able to pay the ben richards bets what an amazingly peaceful dystopian society this is ben and amber lived happily ever after they had so many babies and to think it all started with a simple kidnapping and nut punching those crazy kids [Music] zero but hey will you just let me explain this is television that's all it is it's nothing to do with people is to do with the rating to kill your ass belong to us to the public to the media that's how it is we are fairy tank it's time to start [Applause] running on your marks get set go [Music] richard [Applause] richard i have my daughter kathleen hello my daughter syndra my son christopher and my daughter kristen you bet i got something to say you check it out ooh the most beautiful body in professional wrestling and i got something to talk about everywhere i've been going throughout the country i've been touring with fleetwood mac

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 4,004,611

Keywords: the running man review, the running man, running man, cinema sins, cinemasins, wave jockey job, everything wrong with, cinema sins running man, everything wrong with the running man, cinema sins the running man

Id: EYoBrhlTX1Q

Length: 12min 35sec (755 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 27 2014