Half in the Bag Episode 111: Independence Day: Resurgence

half in the bag Apes of poppin come on J trust me it's going to be a blast all the college Millennials and cool hipsters are doing it these days it's at all the wildest parties I don't know Mike it seems dangerous how does this work again well you drink this beer the faster you can drink it the less burnt and disfigured your face will get you know from the heat and the sparks I don't know this seems kind of pointless I mean we're not in college we're not at a party fact there's nobody around I could just drink a beer without sparklers attached to it and I don't want to horribly burn my face it seems like there's more cons than pros yeah whatever you [ __ ] twist the I'll go first Wow oh say can you see my bronze oh hi mr. Plunkett where have you been also why are you dressed like America oh I'm celebrating my independence day from the aliens they finally let me go aliens mr. blinken are you saying you were abducted by aliens well that explains why he was gone the last couple weeks hmm thanks for filing a missing persons report you didn't file a missing persons report Jay he's being sarcastic why so mr. Plunkett when you're on the alien spaceship do you get anal probes no did you get anal probes no did you get anal probes no they just asked me some questions about Donald Trump's hair they wanted to know I know the nuclear launch codes he got it probed no once they realized they didn't have the information they wanted they just scanned my brain so after the brain scan then you got anal all right Mike that's enough with the probing questions they did say anal probes are a pretty standard procedure but once I didn't have the information they wanted yeah we're just kind of hung out and partied hung out and partied what do you mean oh they taught me some got a new hip way to drink beer hey Mike didn't you go missing for a few days last week and you have been complaining about how much your ass hurts well I'm up in the fourth of July parade I'll see you jerks later bye mr. plinkus bye mmm fourth of July fireworks hey speaking of having things painfully shoved up your ass have you seen Independence Day resurgence I have so that's two things have been painfully shoved up my ass what was the other thing the anal probe uh I'm accepting the fact that that's where I learned how to drink the sparkler beer I mean that makes sense given the information we've just heard and then it makes more sense because there are Millennials because they've been alive for a thousand years oh oh yeah it's a whole different meaning sure so the Millennials are the hip hip kids in the alien culture the the quadrillenium are like the older wiser middle-aged people right right the people that are kind of uncool you don't say it here I can't believe it's been 20 years still gonna take her father into the anniversary we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him get ready fans of cinema roland emmerich is back with his newest film Independence Day retribution wait that's Independence Day retaliation wait that's still not right Independence Day reconstitution Independence Day redemption no that's not an Independence Day revolution Independence Day revulsion that's kind of cool it's not right Independence Day repudiation Independence Day regulation No Independence Day rectification No Independence Day refraction No Independence Day refortified No Independence Day resurrection No Independence Day reevaluation hmm Independence Day refrigeration Independence Day ribbed for her pleasure what [ __ ] it Oh Oh Mike why aren't you wearing your PIN I forgot I had it Independence Day Earth space defense that's why the program is called because it's the Earth's face defense also known as the ESD now it's official I'm part of the earth space defense do they mean like like earth space like the space on earth or earth comma space J because people know earth and they know space and their tactic is just to shoot everything always and never listen to Jeff Goldblum well it's the earth space defense we're defending ourselves from space from other beings from space they really should just call it everything defense or just earth defense we're defending the earth yeah but I guess we're defending it from space so it's the earth space defense Earth's space defense but that's a little clunky to say earth space defense welcome to earth space defense that's right Jay Wow what are your thoughts on Independence Day now I actually forgot the real name correct I want to say retribution resurgence Independence Day resurgence well Mike let me tell you resurgence made me want to refund I use that joke on the Matrix Reloaded over a decade ago well anyway this movie has five credited screenwriters and it feels like a movie cobbled together by five different screenwriters you're gonna hate me Jay but I love this movie I love a sliver of this movie this is there's like ten movies in here it's both better and worse than the original movie the stuff that's better is fun we often say uh why would they remake such a great movie and make it terrible yeah this is the complete polar opposite the complete wish fulfillment I did not like Independence Day I thought sucked I hated it it was it was the the dynamic duo of Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin yes the people I disliked as much as Alex Kurtzman and Robert or see not personally I'm sure there wonderful guys one of them's like a 9/11 truther one of them is a wonderful guy but uh they took that that the terrible corny movie and they turned it into what I will call a a fun science fiction action-adventure blockbuster movie that I actually liked call it the Jurassic world syndrome but I thought Oh mostly all of the parts worked like the amazing subplot would jut hursh that was riveting Rowling Emmerich wrote himself into a hole essentially because we had the first movie and the first movie is always characters from all over the place they're gonna do the things but now it's like okay the whole earth got earth sorry a got [ __ ] up now we live in this future technology world which was kind of cool I like that aspect of it yeah everyone it's like wow aliens coming and blowing up the whole world turned out really great yeah there's world peace - everyone gets the log down well peace all of our cities are been have been rebuilt we have all this amazing new technology we could put a people on the moon we have moon bases everything's great from 96 to 2016 the real 2016 is pretty shitty yes but aliens destroyed the earth in two and - 1996 and turned it into a wonderful wonderful future Star Trek asked utopia so Roland Emmerich could not do the little stories all over but he still tried which was annoying the the the grubby guys on the boat trying to hunt for gold who get involved in the story yeah [ __ ] you that's one of the one of the 50 subplots and then when I saw the dumb kids like a monk why who are these teenagers driving this car by the way was that Abigail breslin's little sister I don't know who those kids were we got to look this up the main girl look just like a little tiny version of oh wait no Breslin that girls in the conjuring the first one yeah okay whatever but anyway so judge Jenner is is doing a pathetic book tour at a senior citizens home and it's really pathetic and it's kind of funny in a wonderful scene that's less than a minute long they could have been dropped at any moment all of his scenes were so bizarre because each scene with him was like less than a minute long his subplot are completely pointless mm-hmm completely pointless other than to add some humanity into it those parts outside there's a soul like military infrastructure of you know all this stuff all that stuff's great you lift it out a lot of with a caveat with an asterisk okay all that stuff's great in the in this particular movie you'd lift it out all the little subplots it would make a more cohesive sci-fi action like a dumb sci-fi action movie but the raw anomeric stuff felt out of place yeah although some of it was slightly charming the that was unintentionally hilarious too which I liked those parts there was there was one scene that turned into schlock only one current can I get into a completely different sub topic here there were a lot of people that were complaining on our Independence Day review where you and I loved schlock yes and we embrace it and and it warms our heart and our souls Independence Day 1996 is notch lock no it's not dumb enough or bad enough there's a degree to it's right in that line it's a very fine line which lock is yes this this has got a flock particularly we're speaking of the scene where Judd Hirsch is driving this boat okay and then the ship which is big enough to grasp behinds of the planet it has a gravitational pull that as its own gravitational pull just comes to attach itself to the plan just [ __ ] the whole world up and Judd Hirsch is driving his little boat there's like oil tankers in like the White House and every building in the world and he's getting sucked up into this tidal wave and dying a little Judd Hirsch is trying to drive away from it and he's like oh why did I buy this boat could I buy a bowl and it's like what why would you even what why would you even say that it's always a that's schlock and there was there that's the stuff of the movie anyway and there's corn II can't be you know stupid stuff in this movie but yeah but that that feingold where they don't realize how dumb it is flock is diamond diamond to the rock and it's very very specific now so not every bad movie Ashlock no and we're the foremost authorities on what is invisible don't you dare comment like that special accommodations to the scene shortly after that when what city is Vivica Fox in were they at the washing to the movies globe-trotting I can't keep up but the entire city is being destroyed and she works in a hospital now she's no longer a stripper and she became a doctor she became a doctor as most strippers to Scherzer and you see the entire city is being destroyed although everything's getting sucked up and knocked back down and hundreds of thousands of people are being destroyed but she gets to the roof of her hospital with one pregnant woman and you're supposed to be like oh no I hope that one what are not pregnant she has a kid she has a little baby I hope that one woman with that tiny babies okay but you can see directly behind him just like buildings collapsing lepton no it cuts to don't say no that's exactly whatever I'm saying but the like when I first day first show Vivica Fox and that some Dylan this isn't Dylan Hiller the kid yeah little Smith kids little baby from the first one he's all grown up and he's a fighter pilot yeah and it introduces Vivica Fox who's all grown up and a doctor yes although she was growing up in the first one but now she's a doctor and she's like there's like a like a Mexican lady who just had a baby it's like I worry that this cataclysmic earth cast Rafi with aliens will harm my baby and Vivica Fox she says no no your baby's gonna be just fine and I'm like oh [ __ ] here we go with the Rolla Nemec subplots and then they don't show her again she makes a phone call they think her son and whatever and then they get up on the roof and he's flying around in his spaceship or his hot hot shot a team fighter with alien technology needs a mom that's her hospital and then and then he watches her like like fall into the the collapse of buildings collapsing she falls like it was like I had a little checklist a scratch-off subplot subplot Kahn I was hoping that Judd the judd hirsch boat would go i they I thought he was gonna die there tunas like oh there's get rid of all the original characters yes exactly um instead Judd Hirsch teams up with a carful little children and that's his storyline and I think I think I'd like the filmmakers could like there's like some sort of weird psychic thing where they could see me rolling my eyes at that subplot and they said oh you don't like that well [ __ ] you now he's going to team up with a school bus full of children who all had hats on Dale it's stupid hats on and then they're gonna drive to the Salt Flats where Jeff Goldblum is that for some reason they end up out there no john hirsh knows where to go from past experiences he knows to go to area 51 it's the safest place on earth until it's not listen Jay uh I thought this movie was awesome I thought this movie sucked I thought some of it was funny bad but a lot of it was just bad bad a lot of it was boring bad that was my biggest problem like you mentioned all the military stuff I like the setup as we talked about with all the future technology stuff and then it gets into the roland emmerich stuff the globe-trotting or own here then we're going here the r1 here it actually felt even more disjointed than the first one as far as that stuff goes I thought I didn't it didn't feel the only thing that felt super out of place was the the the treasure hunters on the ship kept cutting to them like we're monitoring that I was I was the ticking clock element but it's like we had we reduced to like like a dozen characters just to get that little bit across yeah the Vivica a fox part like it's it was kind of cool to have some of the old characters back and it kind of served a story purpose with the Sun but the the the structure of the world was kind of cool and also we learned what the [ __ ] was happening in independence day one as I say they wrecked condit and I mentioned when we shot our Independence Day discussion I joked that they were their plan was to suck up our volcanoes to fuel their ships I was kind of right you were everyone thought I was dummy for saying volcano was a resource everyone thought I was dumb but I wasn't saying it was a resource I was just saying that's what they were using they're gonna suck up our volcanoes to fuel their ships and that's kind of what they end up doing yes they're sucking up our sweet sweet magma well it's it's a molten molten iron core the core of the earth because what they're drilling for and that's apparently what they were doing in the first movie I was never mentioned ever mentioned they're like [ __ ] our aliens had no purpose in the original movie maybe we should explain this exactly because it was utterly pointless for them to go around and shoot lasers down on all of our major cities right but really they just needed to land that one ship and start drilling into the core and just go [ __ ] all y'all yeah go ahead put up the shields set up at shields and say nice try yeah come get us we know watch your molten lava mmm so yeah that was a bit backpedaling because that negated a lot of the plot from the first one but hey in this one I understand what's happening that's true there's a queen which is also a complete total ripoff of writing yourself out of a hole now aboard the Queen Borg I guess yeah they want to suck the molten core out of the planet Earth to fuel their gigantic spaceships and which also fuels their technology yay a clear goal a clear goal now you brent Spiner 'he's back he's got a lot of a surprised by how much of this movie he was in it was great to have him back I thought he was fun brent Spiner worked as comic relief I thought he was really funny in this way he's like I got to dig out my old laser that I tried to build yeah you know 25 years ago that kind of works [ __ ] it you know and he's like shooting it uh he was he was wonderful in this yeah I was I'm glad to see data back he even said the word sickbay mmm it's like I gotta get you to sick bay and I'm like my heart skipped a beat brent Spiner and Bill Pullman bolts have some sort of like slight psychic connection to the the aliens or totally lanes the machete guy yeah the like there's like a warlord character I guess there was a in Africa there's some kind of skirmish with for years it said they were like all those aliens on those ships I guess scattered around and we're running around the planet and still the war continued which was cool I would have rather seen that movie it was they show up at their little village and there's all these alien skulls on spikes it was a nice little little touch like that that's the kind of good globe-trotting stuff yeah where it integrates into the story feels natural and and makes sense and that's all like Judd Hirsch he's a lovely elderly man and but he does absolutely nothing and the entire even when he finally shows up at the end he still does lovely he rescues a bunch of little kids Jayne god bless him he drives him into the worst danger true if it wasn't for him they'd just be stranded in Las Vegas somewhere they're coming back it has its own gravity what goes up must come down shouldn't we be nervous um yeah our whole lives built up to this moment it's touchdown over the Atlantic all of it sorry my brain is racing I'm going all over the place here I recently sort of watched the Ed Helms vacation remake where is this going well well I don't I don't know how comfortable you are with calling Independence Day regurgitation is soft reboot or not it's like Jurassic world or being introduced to new characters there's some slight connections to the previous one which is which is why it's it's it's in the soft reboot category share and definitely the vacation was yeah and I'm like there are there are those beats there are moments like that are all just like copied over the part they get they get in line for the Velociraptor and then they play the Chariots of Fire song it's like I'm on vacation I'm talking about vacation not not Independence Day and so this one it's like more or less the same movie and I know sequels are sequels tend to be the same movie but it's like we have that scene where the fighter jets all go at the ship yeah and the first one they fire the rockets and they we find out they have shields scratch that it's a disaster this one they fly and it turns out to be it like a trap by the Queen and and then like there's even a little rousing speech at the end we all got a band together and then a time at the Bill Pullman speech there's the bill polish two speeches a Bill Pullman speech kind of comes out of nowhere makes them seem like a crazy person it's a little awkward Bill Pullman sort of unintentionally hilarious in this movie yeah but it's like it takes it a little further there's the I really liked following the adventures of of all the the cool pilots I thought they were there they were fun likeable characters that there's the Chinese girl yeah the the the friend who has the man crush on Liam Hemsworth and so it also has the female crush on the female he has the crush on the Chinese lady and then there's a Will Smith's son yeah and then they go on a suicide mission too a bomb inside and kill the Queen but then they end up inside the alien spaceship running around right fighting the aliens in their little ecosystem that's inside there's like there's water and trees and they're shooting aliens and then they pee on the floor steal alien spaceships it there's lots of elements that I liked it's just the overall like one is just too much too many characters all that stuff like when you mentioned when they were inside the ship and it has its own ecosystem like I like seeing even though I don't like the design of the aliens their gear ripoffs but I like when you see them walking around and they've got their guns and they're shooting at things like that's kind of fun goofy sci-fi stuff because in the first movie they don't do anything the aliens yeah so at least we're like we see that they have this technology but it you don't really connect it because they look like tentacle monsters you know so seeing them actually like walk around and kind of it you know in rows shooting things was kind of neat the first ones dumb this one's also it's less dumb but you know it's it's not it wasn't like terribly insulting lead um and that is it it gets an A for me it was all over the place parts of it felt looser than the first one but it also felt smaller to me this one liked the idea at the end of the end of the first one you have all these ships and they're all flying around and they're all shooting and I got to get the you know the at the end Judd what's-his-face Randy's star whacker and equate flies up another ship maybe you'll thank me for this and it's like well how do we top that anywhere we have all these dogfights and all these things let's just have one big alien and that's the ending and so it's like it's it's like the effects are of course better but it still feels so much smaller and scale and the whole movie looked like it was shots like when we talked about Man of Steel at the end when there's all the city destruction and we talked about it would show like all these buildings collapsing and all the CGI then it would cut to this tiny little set with like Laurence Fishburne and is the the paper worker people this movie felt like the whole movie felt like that to me oh no like I just felt like it was these tiny sets or people in front of green screen I do everything felt like it wasn't I don't know if it was just like like they were adding like CGI ships behind them like when they're in like the like hangar bays and stuff like everyone just looked like there and felt I had like like prequel flashbacks it's like everybody looks like they're in front of greens I thought everything looked like really polished and good and I didn't get I didn't get that impression at all oh god the whole thing like everybody's just in their little cockpits and then we cut to these wide landscapes with just CGI ships everywhere and then back to this little cockpit or back to people in a control room at the whole thing and like the early on there's the celebration I guess it's the 20th anniversary of us stopping the aliens and they're that part they're in Washington DC and there's like a podium and there's all the people on there and they're all in front of a green screen and then we cut to this massive wide shot and there's like a stadium of people but then there's hundreds of thousands of people outside of the stadium like way beyond anything that would realistically happen and then I thought it was I looked it up because they're like here's our war hero Robert loggia and I thought that was a CGI face but I think that was him I think they shot it like right before well he's dead now but I think they shot it right before he died Oh in looking it up online but I put him in front of a green screen and that's what it looks like cuz like his face doesn't move they're like look it's Robert loggia and he's just like yeah yeah it was really creepy and I thought it was a CGI Robert loggia which would have been even creepier well yeah that was my biggest problem acting with anything is that the whole thing just looks so funny and small to me make them pay not going out there to make friends we've gotten remind them earth is not for the taking an alien there's a there's a there's a an apple product that lands on earth first it shows up at the moon right and it's like if we immediately shoot at it immediately shoot at it and we blow it up right but these are the people that are so strong that they can blow the aliens up but yet they get blowed up by us yes it seems like a bit of catch-22 or a contradiction right well and don't they say later when they're talking to it that it was saying like we have them we're the only ones that have the smart up to have the technology to destroy these aliens but the aliens destroyed all of us yeah maybe they figured it out later I don't know Jake they basically are the are the they're the species 8472 to the bork okay so they have this technology and datas in the room there and they they they make a trap for the queen alien but it's she has her own little backpack that generates a shield then she comes on and you said you said the ending felt small but I felt like that whole sequence was a very big version of the hangar scene and aliens well know shared I mean that's clearly what they're going for but I'm not talking about in reference to like as a follow-up to the first movie I don't know it had so much action so much so many visual effects so many things happening I was very satisfied at the amount of action I'm it's nice that they didn't say we have to blow up the space laser that's drilling into the earth yeah they're like that's a thing that's happening over there we can't do anything about that it is completely dumb that once physically killing the Queen just I was gonna make everybody leave yeah or don't you still gotta get that juicy planet core yeah that juicy shack me I just that's organic ship this is like bye I had years to get us ready we never had a chance we didn't last time either we convinced an entire generation this is a battle that we could win I thought it was I thought it was campy silly Jeff Goldblum seemed completely self aware of how terrible it was that he is the best part of the movie but at the same time I loved all the special effects in the action and I thought it was I thought at the to our running time it was paced out well for all that it jammed in there and I thought it was fun and enjoyable and I'm shocked that you enjoyed it I was actually kind of dreading seeing it and it was better than I was expecting but it was better in fits and starts for me whereas like this part's kind of fun but then I don't care about any of this other [ __ ] and then oh this parts kind of fun we didn't mention when the ship shows up on earth it has his own gravitational pull it pulls up a city and then drops that city on London which is fun income that actually felt like a really rushed scene I was surprised because that was like such a like one of the things that everybody remembers and loves about the first movie is all like the monuments being destroyed city destruction and that seemed really rushed as everything's dropping on London you see not Thor and his little ship flying around for like two seconds oh yeah and it's just kind of over it was a good ceiling and then the entire city of London is destroyed and he says did you pee your pants and I was like that's a Roland Emmerich moment we sacrifice for each other no matter what the cost that's worth fighting for support the July let's show them some fireworks I like Jeff Goldblum I like data's character he doesn't even have a name and he says data I like and then the kid character is fine I I don't know how if I'll say that I'll look forward to their future adventures but whatever it wasn't the most miserable theater-going experience I've ever had oh god no that's high praise oh you're out for a roland emmerich film it did not feel like like a typically horribly annoying roland emmerich movie mmm I would I would dare to say this is my favorite film of his I've hated every film he's made from Godzilla to 2012 to the day after tomorrow the Patriot [ __ ] drove me nuts I hated that movie I haven't seen the one about cavemen oh the bc whatever it is 10,000 bc i hate even Starrcade i hate all of his movies this I liked and I'm shocked I think I need to have a cat scam I thought I could have tribute it to the a couple other screenwriters and then I looked at him one of them had Smurfs three I made my doctor's appointment I'm so sorry to say this I'm so sorry to admit to the world that I liked Independence Day resurgence unfortunately I'm giving a thumbs up and a recommendation or Independence Day resurgence Jay I'm giving it out whatever you can't be fickle on half in the bag I can too I just did no I I don't know I uh Jay your mother called she wants to know if she could watch Independence Day resurgence why do you tell her you know I'm tempted to say if you like the first one which I didn't but I'm to say if you like the first one you will probably like this one but I'm not even sure about that because this what this is really lacking that I think a lot of people like the first one lights is one the the general destruction stuff there's actually not a lot of that in this and to its lacking like a like an anchor in the form of Will Smith which I like Will Smith but everybody loves him that movie and he is really what holds that movie together and this is movie is just sort of a bunch of different characters doing things and it doesn't really have that I think that was the Liam Hemsworth character is supposed to be that maybe if my ladies not have and this is I don't even like Will Smith but I'll say Liam Hemsworth does not have the screen presence or the charisma of Ray Smith yeah so that that's what I think this movie is really lacking for people that want to see a nice follow up to Independence Day I like some of the the goofier stuff I liked some of it ironically I was laughing at parts of the movie I liked some of the world-building I thought that was neat early on that stuff was cool so the rented I don't care all right well I guess we'll talk on the next episode of half in the bag okay bye

Channel: RedLetterMedia

Views: 1,626,984

Keywords: redlettermedia, red letter media, red, letter, media, half in the bag, plinkett, mike stoklasa, jay bauman, rich evans, independence day, independence day: resurgence, resurgence, id4, roland emmerich

Id: rTKw5yxARHc

Length: 34min 29sec (2069 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 26 2016

Reddit Comments

[u/Billy_Eyedol]

I love how Jay reacts in the episodes where Mike goes completely off the rails. He's thinking, "Really Mike? Seriously? Are you for real?"

[u/Godofthesoup]

Mike: "I hate Independence Day"

Mike: "I love Independence Day Resurgence"

I can't fucking believe it.

[u/quintcunt]

I think Mike has had a god damn mid-life revelation. He realized his cynicism was horribly depressing him and he changed his ways before it was too late. He seems much happier now, but I don't think HitB can last. NEW FRANCHISE, WE NEED A NEW FRANCHISE!

[u/FuckYouZackSnyder]

We've lost Mike.

[u/general_nuisance]

Independence Day: Ribbed For Her Pleasure

[u/mattlantis]

Oh God I lost it at the text over the trailer

[u/general_nuisance]

So are they just abandoning the time travel story line? Who edited this, John Rad?

[u/joshkg]

Please direct all complaints here

[u/B3N15]

I find these guys hilarious but the whole thing with the aliens chugging the beer with sparklers was the first time I've ever completely lost my shit laughing at one of their videos. I had to pause it and grab a drink.