- And we are not responsible for any explosive diarrhea you're about to incur. - Hey Derrick, sorry I'm
a couple minutes late. - Brogran, sideline with me. When you're late, everyone
else has to pick up your slack. Now what that show me, is
that you value your time more than anyone else here. So, it's not just a few
minutes here and there. It's a slap in the face to
everyone that works here. Do you understand? No, no, let me continue. You need to be a team player. You are wasting everyone's time. 10 minutes early On time, is 10 minutes late. It's all about the respect. Time management. I think your problem here
Brogan is that you just need to grow up a little bit. I'm just really disappointed in you. Do you understand? - Yes, I do. - Don't be late. - Excuse me, can I finish my order? I really have to get to work. - Oh my god, I'm pretty
sure your boss will not mind if you're a couple minutes late. - Yeah. - [Announcer] Every Boss Ever - All right team, we got a few
days left on our fiscal year and this is our Superbowl,
it's the bottom of the ninth those bases are loaded
and we're on overtime. So we gotta get out
there, hit that defense, make sure we secure that
end zone with no overtime under the goalie, off sides and you better stick that
landing on that dismount. Come on, let's go. - Do you have any idea what she just said? - Nope. - 10 point conversion, baby, strike out! - [Announcer] Can you be
a team player and ahhhh. - Hey Linus, what terms did
we wanna give the buyers? - I will message that to you on Slack. - Okay. (message bleep) - Well see, I thought sales
had given them 45 days? - Right. I will Slack you. (message bleep) - Okay, and um, what payment
methods are we good with? (exhales heavily) (keyboard clicking) - Man, can we actually
just like talk about it? - But Slack is so much easier. (keyboard clicking) (message bleep) - It appears that my keyboard has broken, could you ask the IT
person to come over here and fix my computer? Ironically I can't because
my Slack is broken. - Yeah, let me just do
that for you, Linus. Hey Tim, we have a keyboard situation. - No, no, no, no, no, Slack it to him. It's much easier that way. (keyboard clicking) - [Linus] Are you Slacking? - Yes. - Good. - [Announcer] Yes I did get a raise every single year, but the
company can't afford yours. - Claudia, what can I do for you? - Hey, so I saw that my
request for time off was denied but I remember you saying it was okay. - Ugh, I know, I thought
it was gonna be no problem but those gosh darn guys at corporate make the final decision, unfortunately. - Okay, I understand. What about that pay raise we discussed? - Ugh, I wanna give you
that pay raise so bad but unfortunately, the guys at corporate hold the purse strings,
so god, I'm so sorry. - No offense, but do you
hold any authority at all? - Well I get to choose which paper towels go in men's restroom. - What about the ladies restroom? - I was not aware that
we had a ladies restroom. - Okay. Thank you Mr. Phillips. - How did I not know
about the ladies room? Yes, it's like Narnia. Gotta go through a wardrobe. (pen clicking) Just like Narnia. - [Announcer] This schedule
will be done when it's done. - Hey Dirk, I noticed
online that the new schedule for next week is not
up yet, I was wondering when that would be? - It'll be done when it's done, okay? I'm swamped. - Yeah, I understand, but I
do kinda need to plan my week. When Gina was manager we would get it like three weeks in advance. - Oh, oh, Gina, is that what Gina did? Well guess what, I'm sorry,
but we have different leadership styles. - It's not about your leadership styles, I just kinda need to
know when I'm working. - Well why don't you go ask Gina. - She transferred to a different store. - Oh, Gina transferred did she? Oh, Gina transferred, oh, la, la. Where did she transfer, France? Did she go there? Is she drinking wine out of bidet? I don't think so, (bleep) off! - [Announcer] Who parked
in my designated spot? Here we have the most dangerous
predator in the office. The middle manager, fueled by
20 years in the same position without the skills to become an executive. The middle manager solely communicates through passive aggression. - Oh looking at Reddit huh? - Yeah. - Ah, run out of work to do? - No, I'll get back to work. - Whatever works for you. - [Announcer] The middle
manager has defeated his subordinate, firmly
cementing his position as the biggest asshole in the office. - Hey, I'm your boss,
but I really want you to think of me as your bro. - So it's like a dueling piano bar, but they have cockfights in the back. However, it starts at five, so. - Oh, that sounds so fun, let's leave like a little
early tomorrow and just go. - Uh, do we have to tip
the roosters though? - Uh, yes, yes. - Hey, I hear something
about us going out tomorrow? What's that? - Uh. - Oh come on, I'm a cool boss, I can hang. Let's get a beer, get wasted. Have you guys ever tried ketamine? Screw those stuffed shirts
in their ivory towers screw'em, let's burn
this place down, come on. - Um, yeah, sure you can come along. So tomorrow we're thinking
we'd leave around like four. - The office closes at six,
did you put in two hours of PTO on a request form? - No.
- No. - Oh, well looks like you'll
just have to do it another day. Let me know when you figure it out though, I'd love to drive us all in
my brand new Hyundai Sonata! 2% down. - [Announcer] Look at me, I'm the boss, I sit in a big old chair. - You wanted to see me Mr. Phillips? - Yes, uh, my computer's
doing that thing again where it's all in Spanish
and I'm actually trouble getting it to turn on, would
you mind taking a peak at it? - I can get one of the IT guys. - Oh, no, you did it just fine last time. Just it'll be fine. - So, um.. - You live on the west side right? - Uh, yeah. - Great, my kids having a
soccer game there on Saturday but it's so far out of the
way and I'm supposed to drop off snacks, so would
you mind just swinging by and plopping down some orange slices? - Sure, I can do that. - And also, my dry cleaning
will be done by then, you wouldn't mind just swinging
by and picking it up right? - It's not really my job description. - I see, but you need this
job very badly don't you? - Yeah, I do. Yeah, I'll pick up your dry cleaning. - That's great, thank you Mitch. Oh and Mitch, I did notice the other day that you had two sodas and
while those are technically free for employees we do still
have to pay for them. So I'm just asking you to be
a bit mindful going forward. - [Announcer] You'll go far here. Unlike me. (cry/laughing) - [Announcer] Here we
see the middle manager has gathered all his prey. He has weakened their
resolve by spending two hours discussing something that
should take 10 minutes. - And at the end of the
day, the numbers don't lie so you gotta look at each of
these numbers individually and decipher their significance. - [Announcer] He watches
the faces of his prey and will choose the weakest one to attack. - Oh, that's lunch. Hey, do you guys like gaming? I did a pretty epic
twitch stream this weekend while playing RollerCoaster
Tycoon Corkscrew Follies, yeah, you should check it out. - [Announcer] It appears as
though the middle manager will not hunt today. - Oh, got it pulled up. Ah, check it out. - [Announcer] Incredible,
the middle manager has taken out the entire
herd with one attack. A truly majestic little dickhead. (ominous music) - What about those Powerade powder packs? - Oh, I'm sorry, I thought
you'd offered Gatorade before. There's a war going on, pick a side. - Yeah. - Pour the Powerade
powder into the Gatorade. - That's messed up. - That's messed up. - That's really messed up. - That's worse than pouring
Pedialyte into thick water. - Ugh. - You could also watch more of um, (loud belching) Come on in. (laughing) Claudia, let's do it together three, two one. (loud belch) Oh, biscuit, oh now it's gross, okay. - ♪ Hyundai Sonata ♪ Oh my pencil fell. I'm such a cooky freak. ♪ Hyundai Sonata. ♪ ♪ Hyundai Sonata. ♪ (laughing) What? - This is a no cooky freak zone. - I'm a cool boss, I could be cooky freak. I'm gonna draw a mustache on you. Oh wait, I can't. Cause you already have a mustache. - Is my name Claudio? - It's Claudia. - Claudia, okay, you say it weird. - Claudia. - I can't. - Oh, I'm sorry, let me
do it more Americanized. Claudia. (laughing) Claud. - What's my new sons name? - Isn't that up to papa? (laughing) What the (bleep) - Wow, thanks for watching this video. We couldn't have done it without you. And guess what? If you wanna see another
video you click that thing right over there or you can click to check out some
sweet merch or you subscribe or if you wanna do none of those, we're gonna have a freakin problem. - [Female Employee] You're a weird boss. - Thank you.
