Drive explained by an idiot

welcome to drive a movie fame for its vaporwave vibes and ryan gosling being a cool man of little words wanna guess what he does in this movie that's right he drives okay so he's a getaway driver on his way to pick up a sleeper getaway mobile from crippled walter white who he also works for as a mechanic and he does the getaway for two criminals in a not so over-the-top kind of realistic getaway except when he floors it here because the police chopper spots him he doesn't seem to go any faster than the cars around him in fact it looks like he might be going the same pace if not slower whatever though he finishes this getaway in a parking lot of a major sports event and uses the people leaving the sports event as cover to get away on his feet and i say major sports event because i forgot what sport it was pretty sure it was basketball or some sport involving balls could have been boxing though however that too kind of involves balls if you think about it anyway i'm guessing it's a successful mission for him and his two clients so-called clients got away the same way he did using the basketball game fans leaving as cover he gets home we watch a sick intro ryan doesn't speak he see woman neighbor he speaks he do stun for movie but he knows speak he drive and no speak then he see same woman at the grocery store with a broken down car he goes to help her but he's still no speak and this is the number one reason why this movie is unrealistic toys don't break down that's fake news unwatchable doesn't matter he takes the woman and her child over back to their apartment he finally speaks gives the kid a toothpick for 10 extra cool points which i never got like is it really worth risking hurting the inside of your mouth by bumping into a whatever thing that is at face level just to look tiny bit more badass as far as i'm concerned you look like a dumbass ryan anyway they exchange important data like the fact that the kid's dad her husband is in the clink and the whereabouts of the garage ryan works out we see a very clear interest betwixt him and shanon that's her name wait that's heisenberg's name never mind i'll figure out her name later then we cut to heisenberg trying to get some money out of dirty dodgy businessman benny to buy an old stock car so that he can race it and make a race team with ryan as his driver because he really believes in his abilities as a driver and step three profit so but he's like i want to see the kid first though so he sees the kid drive around in a shitty stock car and he's like deal you can have my money next we move on to irene that is bringing her car over to sharon's garage who sees that ryan likes her so he offers up his services to drive her home since her car's [ __ ] and their neighbors and on the way home he's like you want to see something and he takes her and the kid over to the shitty creek or something i don't know what it's called but it looks like a [ __ ] swamp that shrek lives in which is a prime murder spot if you ask me but that raises no red flags for her because she got the hots for him over the next few days i think he keeps driving around being her free overdriver and a conexion between them is formed then at the gay raj benny talks to him saying that shannon's a good guy but he never had the best luck he overcharged some jews and they broke his ass and we have a lot right on you kids so you do good now all right he's like then later while we'll bring the girl around for free she says that a lawyer called and said that the kid's dad is coming home next week from the jails and obviously reince peace is now flaccid as [ __ ] because of that news and on mr moon knight's welcome back party he sees her sulking outside her apartment because her deadbeat husband is back from the center cabinet [ __ ] that's such a good name for jail actually someone make that a thing he then meets steven himself who kind of knows about him and his girl and he's kind of trying to be a little bit threatening to rhyme and then we cut to ryan and i are telling this guy very aggressively to [ __ ] off with his getaway driver off her job offer guess he feels sort of done with that now that he's going to be a race driver although it's only the start of his career also the guy who looks kind of [ __ ] so fair play i guess anyway on his way home he sees slow motion bad people that turned out to have beaten up mark in front of his kid and as it turns out even more than that steven owes these people who were part of a gang a prison gang protection money prison protection gang money [ __ ] you i can't why can't i word he owes them prison protection money yes but they keep hiking up the price and now if he doesn't rob a pawn shop for them they're gonna go after pinocchio and irene so ryan decides to help him but not before he gets invited to a super awkward dinner where stephen basically outs himself for being a pedophile and pinocchio being the result of this illegal schmix then ryan steals a stain and this bald idiot allows him to help steven along with this dumb [ __ ] called bleach or something that is part of their gang i think are also hired to do this job with them the pawn shop job for a grand total of nothing and he's okay with that because all he wants is for them to leave the [ __ ] and her kid alone after my guy's dead is paid capiche next when the time arrives and they're robbing the pawn shop while ryan waits for them in the stand suspicious chrysler rolls up the old one comes out with a bag of dough gets in the car mark gets out and gets shooty shooty mcbooty itty bitty mctitty i don't know what i'm saying anymore man why are you watching this he he gets shot and healed and okay and you know what [ __ ] him he walks out super slow and chill who the [ __ ] what's up super slow and chill situation like that come on man you're supposed to sprint to the car dumbass stupid anyway ryan sees this and zooms away with bleach [ __ ] massage car starts following them and chasing them and they immediately transition from a intersection shot to a shot in the middle of a mountain road how the [ __ ] that's possible i don't know but after this short chase gets ended by a [ __ ] cone that's right the [ __ ] you put on your head when you're drunk okay maybe it was not just the cone was more road work [ __ ] but still the cone did look like it made the car bounce initially and all the rest of stuff does not look like a car chase ending worthy obstacle in my opinion but whatever ryan and bleach are now hiding out in a hotel with a million units instead of 40 000 units in stolen american currency when news of this incident hits the news saying that the dude is dead and the owner of the pawn shop said that he acted alone which is kind of more sassy vaca [ __ ] so he asks her how the [ __ ] that was possible when the guy saw him in there with her and he saw her leave with the [ __ ] money and she lies to him so he equal rights equal fights her and she says that she was told there was going to be a second card to hold him up but wasn't told anything about how much money wasn't anybody getting shot so he's like okay take me to the bald man so she gets up to clean herself up in the bathroom and at that moment her phone rings his spidey sense kicks in her brain gets blasted all over the [ __ ] walls through the window of the bathroom he stabs the guy with the shower curtain tube takes a shotgun and blasts the other intruder who's coming through the door to king kumkum and he's moving he's moving i saw that [ __ ] that's like one of the only times paying attention to dead bodies if they're moving in movies actually paid off [ __ ] yeah that's a win baby anyway if [ __ ] hasn't hit the fan yet it definitely has now because he goes over to shanon to fix up his arm because he got shot in it he tells everything that happened there then he goes over to the back room of a nightclub to find baldo no idea how he knew he was going to be there i must have missed something but who cares he beats him up and forces him to call whoever his boss is and it turns out to be nino the same jew that looks like a chat cat and broke lies over his ass and is benny's nose partner and he wants to give him the money no hassle no tricks he just wants to get out of this however nino is an [ __ ] and he sends a dude to kill him while he was talking to irene trying to tell her what was going on and when they stepped in the elevator with the said guy coming to kill him ryan's cool guy sends his notices that he's obviously here to kill him so he pulls irene aside in super slo-mo and gives her a big ol smooching while the guy who's there to kill him and if need be her the kid does [ __ ] nothing like a [ __ ] which ends up biting him in the ass because right after mouse sex was over ryan beats the brains out of him using his foot to turn his head into mashed potatoes while irene is just in disbelief and i'm assuming her lady boner is still in full raging mode for him because she doesn't seem to call the cops or tell anybody about this and the movie goes on with ryan going to shine like how the [ __ ] did they know where i lived turns out heisendorf stupidly called benny to explain how ryan only wanted to help the woman and the kid and get out of trouble trying to be a good friend to ride and help him but that's clearly not what happened and ryan is obviously mad as hell but he controls his fifis and tells charon to scare thee out of town forever because they will come looking for him trying to kill him then we move on to a conversation i don't really get between the two shady business partners but what the hell i'ma give it a shot explain this see a rival gang had a million buckaroonies stashed in a pawn shop to set up a rival operation on their turf you know find out i wanted to take the money set up a dummy robbery without consulting benny first but you know obviously when tits up and now they gotta tie up loose ends kill the ball more on shannon and ryan so benny kills the baldi and tells him to kicking up his mess and how the dick is this knife so clean he just ripped a guy's throat open with it maybe he wiped it on a piece of cloth or a shirt or something doesn't matter back to ryan who's stealing a mask from his movie set and nobody bats an eye on how bloody he is probably because it's a movie scene they think it's a prop meanwhile though shannon who still has not left the town because he is an infinite hamster wheel of retardation that takes so much time to set up a [ __ ] is approached and murdered by benny who then leaves after he murders him and ryan shows up to the garage to find him dead and pick up the money from the gto he's laying on and there's a couple things wrong here first of all he's still going around town in parts that are not movie sets with bloody clothes not housing any suspicion and second of all you left the money in the garage seriously you [ __ ] idiot the fact that he didn't bump into benny while he was there is such a miracle honestly anyway he goes over to nino's pizzeria where he's having a small party mask on no idea why this one square is the only one that is not opaque but whatever also how is this [ __ ] not noticing a bald creepy guy with a massive head peering in through the one square that's not opaque whatever who cares movie aesthetic right it's all about the vibe my guys how about the five the vibe is good it doesn't have to make sense i'm all right [ __ ] canelo so he waits for him to leave then bumps him off the road with his indestructible car then shoves him crashes him off a cliff and drowns him in the ocean after that he hits up benny but he's like let's meet or i kill your girl mine's like okay then he calls i mean like i love you and i miss you [Music] then he calls i mean like i gotta leave forever plus you the best thing ever and after that he meets benny and he tells him that he can promise the girl safety to him if he gives him the money but he cannot promise the same for him so he's like okay and takes him very gingerly over to the trunk of his car where the money is and benny who has had flawless technique in murdering so far throughout the movie absorbs all the [ __ ] rays emitted by the universe into his brain and stabs him in the gut instead of any other essential or instant death area location in ryan's body and ryan although stupid for not expecting this and letting him do this in the first place does not do the same mistake and goes for his neck kills him and then he sits there in his car for at least a good 40 seconds deceased whoops nope he's alive pull the sneaky on you then he drives off leaving benny's dead body with the money why the [ __ ] would you that piss-head take the money it's over who cares or at least take enough to cover the expenses of the stabbing when god knows you're gonna need in america anyway [ __ ] tries to look for him but too late sigma mail's on his grind set honey and we get a vaporwave synthwave outro this movie gets a room out of a meow [Music] [Music] you

Channel: High Boi

Views: 1,080,592

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Id: uSBV0x7MvKA

Length: 9min 20sec (560 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 22 2022