Zombieland: Double Tap explained by an idiot

welcome to zombie land double tap where the movie starts are classifying different types of zombies because they have evolved since the last movie so first off we got to dominance the most harmless type of zombie the whole because he's a Rita the second episode is called the Hawking because they're using whatever's left of their rotting brain to eat more brains and then we got the ninja and I think the name is pretty self-explanatory but if it is it there's Nikki [ __ ] cake now let's cut the Columbus Tallahassee Wichita and a very grown-up Little Rock and they're taking zombie ass at the white house where they want to stay and pretend like every single day is Christmas but not everything is all sunshine and rainbows and good old zombie name because Little Rock is one hormonal teenager or maybe not a teenager I don't know how old she is I'm not keeping track on asleep point is [ __ ] want some dick okay and she's also pissed off by telling us he for being completely out of touch [ __ ] father figure and after Columbus proposes to with a sharp wichita muchacha and after Columbus proposes to Wichita she gets spooked because you know the [ __ ] got commitment issues she and Little Rock promptly leave in the president's armored and very lethal limo leaving behind a note I don't know basically weeds thanks but [ __ ] you by and considering how much time they spent together once again not to schwöre number but they probably spend a lot of years together I find it hard to believe that they could leave that easily been a month later Tallahassee and Columbus go for a little stroll in the nearby mall so Columbus can get his mind off Wichita and they find a blonde bimbo [ __ ] and kill her then they find another blonde limo [ __ ] and don't kill her meet Madison one [ __ ] ass [ __ ] has been surviving the zombie apocalypse by living in a pink berries freezer and Columbus decides to take her back to the White House with them again Sela has his wishes because she's annoying F and he tells him that next day he wants to go hit the road alone and be a lone wolf again but he gets interrupted by the bimbo [ __ ] because she wants a turn the line has come a mess I'm a guy but reality show only one hour of Columbus convinced Tallahassee hears a noise and he goes to investigate and why the [ __ ] are you using a musket or whatever the [ __ ] that is dude I never thought I'd say this but a horrible choice of weapon Tallahassee and now you used your one bullet and for once actually Columbus has a better weapon than you shame man shame shame they find out that the source of noise is Wichita who came back for some guns and ammo as it turns out they picked up a hippie Andale Rockne a dumbass [ __ ] took the car and left with the hippie leaving a note to her sister and they left for Graceland which is Elvis Presley's place and Tallahassee hates the hippie because he plays the guitar which means he's a musician which makes no sense to me because he established early on in the movie that he loves Elvis Presley and Elvis Presley is in fact a musician maybe it's not a fact I'm not too sure but the second reason he hates him is because he's a pacifist little [ __ ] but you know fair enough and it raises a good question how the [ __ ] does this [ __ ] ass [ __ ] survive so long in a zombie apocalypse doesn't matter because Wichita finds out about the bimbo and she's like wham when they decide to go after Little Rock at the break of dawn and all for them get into a minivan which Tallahassee hates and I understand that working cars and parts are scarce but you're telling me at the white house home of possibly the most protected man on earth there was only the beast the most armored limo in the world just that nothing else no other cars you tell me yeah I don't believe that for a second anyway they hit the road Tallahassee history break and the bimbo hits the dashboard then they get out of the minivan and get off the [ __ ] and go check out a new possible mode of transport in the form of an RV and that RV sounds an alarm that attracts a bunch of zombies in Wichita goes like getting good at what exactly you still have a done [ __ ] dog I feel like saying this would make way more sense after you kicked a bunch of zombie ass just saying so they do that the member almost gets Ben and they meet a new type of zombie which is stronger better faster stronger and they call it a t800 lick the Terminator because it will stop that nothing so I have to tell a secret ins the RV with his number three and a can of paint and he seemingly always has on him they get to move in and immediately get a flat tire so they make the walk of shame back to the minivan straight past this fucked-up one which is sought in a very specific spots back on the road they start making fun of the idea of uber funny very meta then the bemble starts looking very cyclic she's turning into a zombie so they pull over she gets out and goes to the woods and Columbus goes to put her down red bimbo and they keep going and get to Graceland and find out that it's run down with no trace of Little Rock but a little bit down the road they find an Elvis Presley themed hotel or a museum I'm not too sure I didn't know a place where you can sleep but there's also Elvis [ __ ] all right and over there they find the Beast like ooh Blue's Clues that means no rock so they go inside to investigate and they do not find the rock instead they find badass Nevada who tells them which of course is in reference to hell someone shot and killed Bill Murray because he mistook him for his own which makes me ask how the [ __ ] did she find out about this story did she go over there herself see the body or is there like a whatsapp group for also I resolve the zombie apocalypse and somehow these guys aren't in it the only other opposite equation is that this should travel to word-of-mouth if sell I think a movie or at least a short film about just how the [ __ ] this information reached herb will be a [ __ ] great idea right who's with me yeah yeah I think it's cool who cares she also tells them that Little Rock and Eppie were here and they headed off to Babylon which is a hippy safe haven where there are no guns allowed but the hippy didn't like the Beast because it has a big fat gana I guess and he's a [ __ ] so instead they took off in Elvis's 1955 Cadillac Fleetwood series 60 which you know considering there's a zombie apocalypse going on Skepta hella good condition also it being a timeless classic I can't imagine it being any fuel-efficient or reliable but whatever is somehow they take it and make it to baby law now let's get back to the Elvis Museum / hotel where Tallahassee and Nevada bond over their mutual love of Elvis and they bump uglies and next day some [ __ ] in a monster truck destroys the Beast because as the movie so eloquently puts it he used to park in Nevada's driveway and now Tallahassee is parking in it then is nearly psychic pops and we find out that they're basically Columbus aunt Ella has copies base are a dick measuring contest going for a drink and then they find a few tiered hundreds outside attacking the truck so the dickens are like alright relax we got this but as we're about to find out they so did not get this so after they deal with the zombies they come back in for that drink and they brag about how good of a job they did while waiting around the picture they took of them doing what the zombies which no doubt was a huge contribution to hell he got that [ __ ] bite mark which might I point out none of these blind [ __ ] noticed no it wasn't a very on the back of his hand how so him and his sidekick who was also bitten turned to zombies and then they swiftly get dealt with mental as he would cheat on Columbus tried to hit the road in the monster truck whoever Tallahassee is incapable of driving it so they are forced once again upon limini on the board again on their way to baby lawn they find the bimbo [ __ ] driving down the road in an ice cream truck and she once again joins the group on their travels now that lugs this [ __ ] alive well she had a very violent allergic reaction to the nuts that she was eating which she didn't know were nuts [ __ ] more and in the woods Columbus shot over her head to scare her off before she turned into a zombie or he thought she was going to turn into a zombie and now she's here and after some more minivan miles they get to Babylon and Tallahassee celebrates by blowing up the minivan great idea did cuz you're not gonna need that anytime soon also no nearby zombies here this anyway they can't internet along without having that guns melted and they can't leave them in the [ __ ] minivan because don't ya see but what I don't understand here's why they couldn't leave it next to a tree or something and hide it somewhere no zombies are gonna want to use him right anyway they enter and have their guns melted and they find little rock and she doesn't want to leave and Columbus wants to stay and have a home for once but this [ __ ] ass place ain't no home for [ __ ] Tallahassee and he decides to leave and be a lone wolf once again so that night tell us he says his goodbyes and leaves the hippie farm and while he does that he's a herd of teen hundred sprinting towards Babylon who are having a [ __ ] party and shooting [ __ ] fireworks [ __ ] fireworks retards and hear no zombies break off to eat an unarmed Tallahassee Mountain I he even runs over one and they just disregard him I know I understand shiny lights in on zombies a [ __ ] and they just want to [ __ ] go to the noise and the lights and stuff about don't you wanna have it like a little snack before you get to the main course because technically this is just smaller lights and noise I mean they're some of them at least some of them should be attracted that to write whatever he rushes back and he tells them that imminent death is approaching I know that he drove back really fast and whatnot but there's no goddamn way that they had enough time to make fun of this [ __ ] draw a home alone battle plan train a bunch of hippies a lot of juggle buddies right on and a bunch of other [ __ ] did you see those [ __ ] sprint bear in mind he had to use roads they're just going as the crow flies no matter they sent on a platform when the zombies arrive they let them in through a gap in the wall light up a bunch of bodies in lines surrounding the zombies and zombies that have no brains and can't feel [ __ ] she'll be able to walk through this just saying then the joka bodies will blows up and they're like a high Z our plan worked perfectly now we're just gonna go clean up the stragglers we call crawlers or whatever they [ __ ] they call them but they grossly underestimated the amount of zombies coming towards them and with only shovels and sticks and [ __ ] they start getting overwhelmed on top that platform and it seems like the end for them but when all hope seems lost Nevada comes out of nowhere in the [ __ ] monster truck and this shot is bad ass so she saves him they get in she doesn't buncha donuts and a back flip on Xabi he's generally styling on them but then the truck flips and the fun's over so they get out of there and want to make their way up the tower however there are a few zombies standing between them and the door but no worries hippies to the rescue one they start throwing [ __ ] off the tower onto the zombies and take kill the line of zombies in front of them they get into the thing and go up who knows how many stairs up to the roof now I have a few things say about this hey why were these zombies standing menacingly not attacking me no way you buncha bees are this accurate that they can hit these zombies from that high up throwing [ __ ] off the roof seems hella risky to me and see why the [ __ ] didn't you close the door behind you when you're going up the stairs to slow the zombies down yet dimwits you clearly had time moving on they got up there and we find out what tallahassee trained the hippies to do what he trained him to form a gauntlet for the zombies to run down after tell has he so he can jump off the edge of the building and dangle off a crane as bait so all the zombies jump off to their death and after all the zombies eat themself off the side of the building two zombies grab on to tell as his foot and he starts to slip so Little Rock whips out a gun that she forgot she had and shoots the zombie in the head and he drops out and that gun was given to her by none other than Tallahassee as a Christmas gift they get him back on hugs all around Wichita says yes to getting married and one last homer zombie walks up and jumps over which makes me wonder how the [ __ ] he got past all these hippies without making them scream or making his presence known in some way also if this was their plan all along they why the [ __ ] were they on a platform down there anyway they should have been by the door ready to bolt it up the stairs so they can do this right whatever they drive up as a slightly bigger happy zombie killing family and get more held on back up for a second fireworks again for [ __ ] sake you guys ever learned no loud noises no shiny bright lights or you die this movie gets 17 Elvis is out of three buildings [Music] [Music]

Channel: High Boi

Views: 3,645,420

Keywords: Zombieland: Double Tap, Zombieland: Double Tap review, Zombieland: Double Tap recap, everything wrong with Zombieland: Double Tap, Zombieland: Double Tap cinemasins, Zombieland: Double Tap explained, movie recap, explained, funny, haha, lol, spoilers

Id: 6a_LhKLnBLo

Length: 10min 25sec (625 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 20 2020