The Green Mile explained by an idiot

welcome to the green mile where we first got a bunch of dudes looking through a field then an old fart in an old fart home asking for some breakfast then this dude asks him are you gonna wander off again probably are you gonna stop me nope sweet thanks guy and the old fart takes off on his daily secret walk with a skip and a step that makes it all the way over to his secret [ __ ] shaq just kidding it's actually where he keeps his wrist victims killing again actually no i'm not i'm i'm gonna stop i'm gonna stop cut to all the ancient people watching tv when one of them goes why are we watching this inbred trash it's interesting shut the [ __ ] up margaret and he changed the channel to a film that makes the main character old fart guy our guy cry and his lady friend gets concerned for him and they go and talk and he tells her about the time when he was a prison guard in charge of death through inmates back in 1935 for reference that is a time where both normal toilets and outhouses were used in america at the same time because i know america don't know how that's meant to help but you've got references so i flash back to reality object goes 1935 where the movie actually begins with him having a broken penis that makes him feel like lava is passing through it every time it's in use and paul that's his name paul has a rag tech team of prison guards we got officer chewing gum pretty boy black brows and percy coxswain who is a grade a top of the line pump action [ __ ] with sps which is evident by the fact that they keep telling dead men walking dead man walking while bringing in the new inmate not the smartest idea to make the person you're about to take the chains off to put them in their cell very very angry especially if they're this big what a super idiot anyway paul knows this fact and the new arrival one big fella mr john cappuccino like to drink but not spelt like it's spelled c-o-f-f-e-y confused good [ __ ] you percy because he's a dumb [ __ ] he's told to leave because he didn't want coffee to kill him so he reluctantly does so and he walks away dick shrinks just a little tiny bit and he breaks the fingers of this prisoner for laughing at him and these four guys are trying to be as nice as they can be to people who are knowingly going to die while still bearing in mind that they probably did very horrible [ __ ] to get a death penalty so they're writing a fine line between go [ __ ] yourself and being nice john doe is a harmless little burfler except he's [ __ ] massive he even asks if they keep a light on during bedtime so they lock him up and think he's [ __ ] but apparently the court has deemed him soon enough and fit enough to be executed and we jump back and forth between shots of paul reading john's court transcript of what happened in the court and john being found with two little dead girls in his hands that belonged to this white man and this is the search party we saw in the beginning of the movie all right so apparently what he did or what they gathered from the wounds of the children is that he ripped them and murdered them and then um tall [ __ ] guy comes over he's um he's he's the important prisoner man morden maybe i don't know important guy or a important guy in prison he's friends with paul also his boss so paul's like how's the wife terrible attaboy and then the [ __ ] tells the other [ __ ] about ultra [ __ ] percy and real quick in the interest of time let me give you a quick overview of this [ __ ] see he's a cut and a son of an important guy or something which means that he has connections and is slightly untouchable and through these connections he has a high paying job lined up for him after this he's just hanging about here as a prison guard to satisfy his superman legal and piss off everybody else also he's a snitch and he's evil if you didn't already [ __ ] gather that so why tells paul that percy bitchniched about him telling percy to [ __ ] off while he's putting john's cell to keep him safe and didn't like that because you know superman lego and paul figures that once this dude sees another dude gets executed his evil thirst will be quenched and he will [ __ ] up and take the other job and be out of their hair then at night his wife's like come here and put yoshlong in my thong and he's like honey my dick don't work and then next day three of the dudes without percy find the mouse and officer chewing gum throws him some food saying i just want to see what he does so he eats it and then runs away into the straight room that is full of garbage which they empty to find the mouse but they don't find him so they have to put all that [ __ ] back inside then on another shift where this [ __ ] [ __ ] is present time shows up again and i don't know who the hell this guy is but he throws it some food and it's like let's see what he does why is everyone so [ __ ] fascinated and curious with what happens when they give a wild animal some food is either gonna stay or leave regardless of whether or not it eats the food that being said i'm pretty sure in me and 90 of males would do and say the exact same [ __ ] anyway percy because he's an evil [ __ ] flips out and tries to kill it with horrible horrible just the worst aim against their orders it runs back into the straight room paula and gum guy hear what's going on inside they rush in there to only to find him you know running after the mouse and trying to clear the room again so in order to like [ __ ] around with him a bit they don't tell him that they already tried to do that and let him clear it out then obviously he doesn't find the mouse and paul comes back with the gang like why are you being so loud picking us on the prisoners out he's like who cares they're gonna die anyway and they're a big gay you're big gay too and my penis is definitely longer than two inches they may can clean the place up again then the prisoner next in line for the electric chair gets to see his family for the last time and while he does that they do a practice run of the death run with a batch of crazy dude that i thought was a prisoner but i believe it's just their insane janitor is doing rehearsal runs of the last mile really necessary it seems pretty straightforward to me you just pick him up let him pray strap him and flip a switch and you're done what the [ __ ] is there to remember is it for the other prisoners to get calm with the idea of going to die or is it for the new guy to learn how it's done which honestly you don't really need to do is still pretty safe forward maybe because paul wants to run a tight ship around here so he does rehearsals and stuff is this even a thing in the real world i don't know whatever seems more like a reason for the movie to tell us that they have to put a wet sponge between the soon to be the guy's head and the zap cap so he doesn't [ __ ] explode or goes to too much pain because that's inhumane and it gets bad results or something okay then the time for chief chitulu comes and paul is trying to comfort him like it'll be fine he'll do fine no no he's not he's he's gonna die it's the whole point limp take [ __ ] ass so they strap him in hood goes on wet sponge goes on cap on flip the switch zippity zap twice because dumbass operator cut the power too early and guy was still alive so that dude twice and then once he's done proper percy disrespects his dead body and boo gets mad at him for that so he goes what's up his ass you holy sh i'm in cinco mr thanks so paul tells person who takes out the job but bit cheat says that he wants to give the flip switch order next time and then he promises to leave if not he'll stay forever so paul's like fine cut and they'll find out that one of the prisoners they'll like the company but not spelled like it has made friends with them sometimes to do tricks i don't know how the [ __ ] he managed to do that but he did teach him how to play fetch with the spindle thing so they give him a cigar box so that mr jingles the mouse he has been named jingles can sleep in if he wants percy's even the one that suggested that he's trying to act nice and all right then paul goes to hell that's his name i found out and hal tells paul that his wife has got an inoperable brain tumor and is going to die paul's sympathetic and all but he got his own problems because his dick don't work and that night he wakes up brimming with piss so he tries to make it to his outhouse told you these dipshit's still using that anyway he can't make it and ends up peeing fire onto the grass and next day he's like fine i'll go to the doctor what the bloody [ __ ] would you please get full coverage on that piece of toast tanks sloppy so he's gonna go to the doctor but only after he goes to work to get some inmates and he goes to work and excruciating pain meanwhile the rest of the gang are picking up this rotten egg death row inmate from the crazy people hospital and he seems to be doped up for transport however that seems to be fraudulent when they arrive because he is faking it and he attacks them once they get there and percy just stands still stammered there [ __ ] like can't do [ __ ] even though he's ordered to help out prisoner beats up all of them and boo walks in and helps out he takes control of the situation while percy's balls shoot back up and his body and get absorbed by him then they put away the unconscious fact and paul tells officer chewing him to take away beat a pretty boy and black brows to get looked at by a doctor while he holds down the four i don't know where the [ __ ] percy went not that he's gonna be any use but that's not that boring but here why the hell was a person that was deemed sad enough to be executed by the court to captain a mental institution if they are not gonna dope him for transport why wasn't he in some like a holding cell for example someone explained anyway they leave and paul melts in pain because his wee-wee is so wee-wee hurting you know and john's bitching and wine see him so he goes over to john he's like come closer he's like fine then john frappuccino's like i just want to help and he grabs him then cups his balls gently while the lights grow stronger than burst and dell yells for help then jon lets him go and coughs out a bunch of flies that disappear and goes i'm awfully tired now about stock tired then he rests while paul is what the [ __ ] super hard he then goes to test out his dingling and hallelujah a painless uninterrupted stream of golden excellence straight out of his wizard doesn't even need to look at the ball just no scopes a [ __ ] damn right damn right but further testing is required so he goes home blocks on his target and he's like sweet cheeks back that thing up and swish swish on my 100 functional dish and they quadruple bang through the night till the sunrise and she's like we haven't [ __ ] like that since we were teenagers what happened yesterday and he's like well i didn't go to the doctor yesterday so you're the proud new owner of a brand new uti he then calls in sick that morning and truth be told i have no clue what he did or did not tell his wife but he ends up going to the [ __ ] that defended john court who proceeds to compare black people to animals like a jackass convoy and thinks that john is guilty but paul don't really believe that so he gives him some cornbread and that he shares with dil but not this [ __ ] because well he's a [ __ ] and he's all like hashtag slavery so [ __ ] he then spits on palm piece on black brows which earns him a trip to the straight room and after that he puts his own [ __ ] in his mouth and spits it on to brew and gets himself another trip to the paddle room i'm ready to go where the [ __ ] do you think [ __ ] anyway delegates taken away to show his mouse perform for his folks prison guards and a plumber in the meantime they do a couple rehearsals and when he's back [ __ ] is kind of a [ __ ] today but is all good because mouse [ __ ] gets a hold of him and then when he let's go we find out that he literally scared the piss out of him then later while deciding where mrs jingle is going to reside after del [ __ ] to this world they're trying to realize to make up this fantasy place called mao city or mouseville sorry that has a circus and [ __ ] where mice can perform and dell being a simple-minded little idiot serial guy believes this santa claus story and is happy for his little buddy and tries to play fish with him one last time but gets knocked off the [ __ ] chair leg or whatever and into the hallway musk goes out chase after it and boom [ __ ] crushes him they'll get sad as [ __ ] and i'm pretty sure anybody who's watched this movie will agree with me that this is the most devastating death in this whole movie am i right guys no one agrees okay moving on jonathan marcoccino has his hands out like given to me there might still be time so paul does that they all witness as he literally breathes life back into the rodent and then burps out some disappearing flies again and did [ __ ] mouse see this or was he asleep or something like that real question is why isn't john dog tired from this concerning all the other [ __ ] he does that exhausts him he literally brought life back anyway mouse back to life on boss percy bad speaking of that halfway he's cleaned the chair and didn't witness this mouse miracle this mouse cycle that sounds like a dead mouse on a popsicle do not visualize that paul and brutal about the mouse is fine he goes back to check and he what the [ __ ] in this belief and when he comes back they roughen him up a bit and double check that he's going to leave after del's execution or else he'll tell his superiors about his lack of testicles when [ __ ] hit the fan with [ __ ] mouth and he attacked him and he didn't do anything which looks really bad on the work record and he doesn't want that so he promises that he's gonna leave after does execution then dell's time comes and i give away mr jingles to john for safekeeping while the deed is done which is pretty sad damn it tell what you have to [ __ ] run over those children that school bus i don't know what he did i'm just speculating anyway he gets strapped into sparky and apologizes for what he did tells paul not to forget about mouseville so his face goes hey there's no such place that's just a fairy tale these guys told you to keep you quiet i just thought you should know you're the [ __ ] [ __ ] i swear i'm about to throw a png arm with a stupid [ __ ] [ __ ] and the evil does not stop there because he does not wet the sponge and paul does not notice this until the last second because he's thinking at sloth speeds and reaction time at sloth speeds [ __ ] whole playing on australian servers because the switch is flipped and dell isn't in a whole lot of pain but they dare not turn the thing off while he's literally catching fire because that would be too cool to him alive like that so they force piss face to watch as he literally burns to death and fries while people panic and they try to run out the barn why are the barn doors closed and how did they not notice this earlier i know there's a storm going on but the water has this very distinct drippy droppy sound and on top of that why the [ __ ] is no one going over percy when he's doing all the [ __ ] at least with their eyes you already know he's a diabolical [ __ ] [ __ ] morons anyway john feels zel's pain and lets go the mouse he could apparently feel his pain through him and it runs into the straight room and never comes back and hal comes down like what in the blue [ __ ] was that but paul covers her piss head to make sure that he [ __ ] leaves then later paul and his wife go to see hell and his tumor wife melinda who's having a good day or her brain tumor is not altering her personality into a rotten mouse succubus then next day he invites the boys over for some food and tells them that he wants to take john over to melinda to fix her tumor and that he does not believe that john did anything wrong they agree and they decide that pretty boy stays behind because he's still got kids and the rest of them have nothing to lose if they get caught they then drug [ __ ] mouth who falls asleep with his eyes open and interrupt his heads horn or reading session he was pretending to read like knowledge about his new job or whatever but he's actually [ __ ] horny so they put him in a strip jacket and throw him to the pedal room did that book actually fall onto the table because it looked like it fell on the ground anyway they're all set to go and pretty boy has some [ __ ] alibis in place for them and although they didn't tell coffee what they were going to do he already kind of knows he's like talking about car rides and the woman in the rocking chair and they're kind of creeped out but hey they keep going and on their way out fecal matter mouth springs up and grabs jon starts talking mad racist [ __ ] for someone within hit squishing distance and john sort of gets shock waves through his body with the light pops and then only then does paul move his arm why did you not remove his arm faster off black magic you stupid why are you so slow at everything doesn't matter who face [ __ ] passes out again and they break fernanda bull out of prison and load them into a truck on the way they ask him how the [ __ ] do you know about all the [ __ ] and the woman in the chair he's like don't know man they arrive at hillel's house and he greets him with a double barrel like what the hell is happening paul's like trust me and then when the shouts get those [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] garbage off my goddamn porch and john comes up like a boss i'm just trying to help he bows takes the gun away he enters the house and goes upstairs to him and they watching horror as he [ __ ] brutally chokes her to death why am i such a dick what i have to ruin everything the obviously doesn't do that he actually starts sucking the tumor out of her sickly phase and the light glows harder the ground shakes because beside no mere penis infection this is a [ __ ] big time baby it's her last tumor so he heals her and she wakes up sort of fuddled and confused but she remembers john from a dream she gives him her necklace and a hug then the boys take him down to the car then back to pushing back to his cell all the while he's not very much good shape he still has not coughed out all the disappearing flies then they go to free this [ __ ] [ __ ] like we got friends in high places too so you're best [ __ ] off then they let the crybaby out and while he's adjusting his effects jon's there he grabs hold of him and he shoots a full tumor's worth of flies into his mouth directly he lets him go then percy with no words said poker face goes over to [ __ ] face his cell while [ __ ] faces waking up cries then shoots him dead they tackle him and he barfs out all the nasty flies and paul goes over to john like what in the lord's name with that and he explains that he took care of the two batman and when [ __ ] mouth touched him he saw what he actually did and all the crimes he committed he takes paul's hand to show him a gift and show him what he saw off when he touched him which is that he's the one that commanded the crime that jon is in for what a coincidence that they both end up in this place also i don't really know how jon ended up finding the two girls maybe he stumbled upon them on a walk i don't know they didn't really say anyway paul climb acts his way through his past vision and whatever's and he feels john's pain then piss-head gets sent to a lunatic pornography which is totally what uneven stands for because he's basically brain dead right now or as this fine gentleman so eloquently puts it i think this boy's cheese slid off his cracker imma write that down anywho paul doesn't know what to do and he asks john if he wants to be freed because he doesn't want to execute basically an innocent angel but john's like no kill me do it see he is done with the foolish and evil of this world because he feels the pain too strongly and as far as he's concerned paul going ahead with this is him performing a kindness to him guess that's why he didn't really try and defend himself in court or to improve his innocence also not like it would have made a difference he's a black dude in the depression said reality is he's [ __ ] either way this is just a terrible situation overall pretty sad moving on because this video is long enough already they try and pamper him up with his choice of foods and a flicker show the same one that old fart paul cries that and the beginning of the movie because jon's execution and memory hits too hard which transpired like this with him being very calm and happy having had a nice stream before the day of his execution and in the chair everyone who knows got tears in their eyes pretty boy straight up just turned on the waterworks even the switch operator seems to be sort of sad with tears in his eyes which is kind of odd since he had zero contact with john throughout the whole movie maybe they told him stories and he believed them who cares moving on prepare for the big sad because jon says i'm sorry for what i am and request to have the mask off cause he's afraid of the dark paul shakes his hand they flip the switch on all the lights go to [ __ ] cause an angel's [ __ ] dying hombre after that we come back to old paul and the [ __ ] he talking to who's like you said you had a grown-ass boy back then that math doesn't check out all this [ __ ] don't make no sense i call [ __ ] so he takes on a walk to his shirt and at this moment i seriously thought he was going to show her the dead corpse of the sun but thank [ __ ] it's only mr jingles because he found him after john zapping and he even improved his team with an old feeble but successful attempt at playing fetch and explained to her that maybe during dell's execution jon felt his pain so did the mouse through jon and some of the miracle leaked into this mr jingles giving him like the super long life and the same stuff happened to him when he took his hand and gave him that gift or the visions of [ __ ] mouse crimes and he goes [ __ ] i'm 108 years old and he believes since he killed one of god's miracles or whatever that he is cursed with a super duper long but not eternal life saying everyone that he loves die this movie gets 7 000 depressions out of four soybeans [Music] you

Channel: High Boi

Views: 4,093,996

Keywords: high boi, the green mile, the green mile explained, the green mile recap, the green mile high boi, haha, funny, lol, meme

Id: OBxktei28HQ

Length: 15min 5sec (905 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 07 2022