2001 A Space Odyssey explained by an idiot

welcome to 1002 spacey hotness and just a quick side note up until halfway through making this video i legit thought this movie was released 2001. i know i'm a [ __ ] warm but we're going to gloss over that okay and the movie starts off strong and exciting with three minutes of [ __ ] black screen and noise and we see moon earth sun and the dawn of man we're in the desert where a bunch of apes are drinking water from a dirty pool well another group of monkeys comes along like a bungalow your [ __ ] lip tarts get on go on [ __ ] i'll pull out [ __ ] go on get get get out of here beat it [ __ ] let's job to combo thanks bob they get control of the puddle we got some shots of a desert a big cat a black and white donkey nighttime falls on eight gang one falls asleep in a cave at least i think it's eight king one anyway they wake up to a big rectangular box and they lose their [ __ ] and do some monkey business get it cause the monkeys [ __ ] me my puns are horrible they start touching it caressing it rubbing their ass all over it while some scary opera music plays cut to some more shots of desert and one of the monkeys from eight gang one finds a ball and he'd be like what's this oh ah yay [ __ ] and we behold the first ever use of a stick which they use to hunt down some wild boar i think that's what they are also there's a big rectangular box which i'm gonna call eddie for lack of a better name have anything to do with this discovery or like did it activate some brain waves that made him think oh i can beat some [ __ ] to death with this thing or this is just completely coincidental it doesn't matter if cameron goes back to take their puddle away from a tank too with their new innovative modern technology beat the [ __ ] out of this guy [ __ ] hooray we got our piss puddle back throw the ball into the air then boops facial earth classical music another space thing space wheel space mosquito plane it's approaching the space wheel in a very [ __ ] long scene anyway it eventually gets there and it's only passenger mr woodahay gets out signs in calls his daughter meets up with big snows in the cairns sits down in a weird-ass [ __ ] vagina stop trying to make chairs look futuristic shares a chair there's not much left in the way of innovation and [ __ ] technology and improvement on that to be honest besides i'd rather much sit on one of these any of those all you wanted was something low and laid back and super close to the ground you just just got a bunch of bean bags hey look at that i just saved you millions and [ __ ] chair costs mr hayes going up to cletus which is the moon station because some weird ass crap's been going on up there schnoz calls him out and i tell that there's some weird [ __ ] been happening up there we don't have contact with the moon station and stuff like that was there a pandemic they have the corona paris is it gonna get to us should we be worried and hey what goes oh that's some very hush hush [ __ ] that i am not literally to discuss with you yeah but what if they got their own and it comes to us i said the statue of liberty does not allow me to discuss this [ __ ] with you but do not understand then he leaves they speak some brewsky or polsky i don't know [ __ ] cut through his baseball and sway the cletus hayward is on it eating some space food from a tree or rather drinking from it the captain comes and says hi and the space food floats up because haha we're in zero gravity but not really because if we really were in zero gravity then this loose belt will float up and the liquid inside the straw would not drop down immediately once i stopped applying the stock so [ __ ] you he figures out how to take a dump in space some more travel shots happen some more travel shots we're still going so going going holy [ __ ] this movie's so slow at least there's some good music playing [Music] after they take [ __ ] ages to land cletus the death star a bunch of white [ __ ] have a meeting and hey what goes i understand y'all bit freaked out about what's going on up in this [ __ ] right now but i'ma kindly ask you to calm the [ __ ] down and keep this [ __ ] on the download for time being okay any questions yeah i got one no questions okay also this is how you walk on the moon and this is how you walk on earth what the hell movie you're going to show us all this weightlessness [ __ ] and how you deal with different types of gravity but not address the fact that the moon has literally a third of the earth's gravity whatever maybe they're wearing freaking gravity sucks or something but then again we only found out about the moon's gravity in 67 and this movie was made in 68 so it's possible they didn't know about it so hey would you look at that my dumbass actually did some research for once good for me moving on we got another space travel scene with wood hay and his buddies going to another place on the moon pretty [ __ ] long as well they have some banter they eat some food they look at some nudes more ominous space travel happens they land wait stop that you can just float by on the moon like that no problem but you could still walk as if you're walking on earth do you know about the moon's gravity or not movie make up your [ __ ] mind whatever gravity sucks every sucks but they still don't look like they're two years old and just learn how to walk because gravity sucks gravity sex every sucks music keeps getting louder and scarier and we finally see what all this commotion is about it's another [ __ ] eddy they walk down there while i ate seven years haywood gently touches eddie like a [ __ ] [ __ ] come on man your ancestors got their hands all over earth eddie prehistoric [ __ ] probably use it as a [ __ ] stripper pole get in there man come on also what the [ __ ] happened to earth eddie you're telling me over four goddamn billion years or however long it was they still didn't find earth 30 or maybe [ __ ] up and came to the moon became moon they posed for a picture if you can't tell what's going on here loud noise happened don't worry about it cut to space 18 months later whenever space although was traveling to jupiter and this is gonna be another long-ass space travel scene isn't it this is ground controlled me dumb i take it up the ass and i'm never not gonna take it up the air this movie is moving at mach negative two inverse mark speed [ __ ] snail pace hey some dudes exercising on the space still though then he sits down to eat with his buddy hey who starts eating from the middle like that look your friend over there he's eating from the size like you know i'm human being your freaking animal you're only allowed to start from the middle with sauces and [ __ ] not bread what is this anyway you're wrong suck my dick they're on their way to jupiter and the rest of the crew is in hypersleep and everything is being controlled by this all-knowing supercomputer called the hal 9000 in hell obviously stands for his ass lickable hindu asian lithuanian he ain't loyal high as lollipops hi autism we get a hint on how hal might have emotions frank gets a happy birthday message from his fam bam while dingleberry sleeps plays some chess with hell draws a bit and hal asks him some weird questions and he goes like oh it's just routine psychological exam i totally don't have any emotions don't worry about me then he tells him that the x-812 unit is malfunctioning and is going to have 100 failure in 12 hours so frank goes out to replace elon musk's kid with the new unit and another scene that takes a [ __ ] millennia to complete but that isn't the problem here the problem here is that frank goes out in a pod and leaves it like parks it over there goes out of the pond throws himself at the dildo to fix a thing and neither him nor the pod are tethered to [ __ ] what the [ __ ] did one wrong move and he'll be sent hurling into space never to be seen again and what's worse than that is that he parked the pot a mile away and just skydove onto the dildo like dude what if you miss you have no other way at aiming where you're going other than the initial jump what the hell yo i don't care how far technology advances if i were space through doing space work and out of space i'd always be tired to something should i tie a rope to my dick if i had to i wear noose i don't care this is just so [ __ ] so they get back to faulty musk and test it and find out that nothing is wrong with it which means that hal was wrong which is very odd because a hell 9000 computer has never failed ever and this is like first occurrence of it happening which is [ __ ] out of luck you know because you're in space in this really important mission whatever so frank and dingleberry go into a paw turn around and turn off the communication with hell so we can't hear what they say and start talking [ __ ] about him and they decide to disconnect the higher ai brain functions of hell and leave all the automatic stuff because it had literally runs the entire ship and without him the [ __ ] thing would fall out the sky well not really you know they're in space anyway back to point they decide to do that and run the rest of the mission manually it's gonna be a little bit more difficult but whatever is what as you know they're also gonna put back the old x ash thing right so three things numero uno you know why footballers hide their mouse when they talk on the field so nobody can read their lips and tell what they're saying they're probably cursing each other out but so no one can tell what they say my point is you really think that a highline ties in super computer that has access to all the information in the world can't read your [ __ ] lips which he is by the way and why the hell do you turn the pot around the first place you can still test that he can't hear you without looking at me idiots numero dos we find out later that hal actually tries to kill them both but what i understand is why he doesn't do right now just open the doors and knock them out of this dildo man this is literally the perfect opportunity for a giga chat brain computer hell's pretty [ __ ] [ __ ] and numero tres so why the hell would you put back the old x ash just leave the working x-ash outside what's the problem what if it really is [ __ ] up even if it isn't isn't doing that and going back out there an unnecessary risk or like a waste of oxygen or some [ __ ] you guys are [ __ ] morons i thought asking it's supposed to be smart anyway we get an intermission which is like what three minutes of scary space music goes by dingleberry this time goes out to put back the old x-ash parks the pod in the same place frank did and makes the suicide jump onto dildo but this time hal takes control of the pardon comes at dingleberry next thing we see is dingleberry going across the screen like now with the oxygen line thing unplugged i told you you should have had a [ __ ] tether your dumb [ __ ] anyway frank takes another part and goes after dingleberry gets a hold of him somehow not bumping him further into space sending him flying into space faster meanwhile hal kills the rest of the crew members in hibernation frank gets back to the space still though and he goes he'll open the dildo doors how how what open the doors hell no excuse me no why not oh i think you know why not you guys are planning to kill me how do you know that i read your lips deep ass hal open the doors so you can kill me don't think so hobie ain't letting you jump into this mission i'll open the [ __ ] doors [ __ ] you i ain't talking to you anymore how how hell i'm ordering you to open the doors how you such a [ __ ] little [ __ ] [Music] so hal eats his buddy away opens the emergency doors prepares to blow the hatch and eat himself into the [ __ ] airlock which is a tall order since he forgot to take his helmet or gloves when going into [ __ ] outer space oh god damn such stupid by the way they were right there frank and they had a good solid 10 seconds to grab it while the power was turning around just saying also what's stopping health from taking control of the pod and [ __ ] with frank he can see everything's happening right even if he can't take control of this pot because being manually overridden can take control of the other part that dingleberry peddled and [ __ ] with him that way right man super computers [ __ ] anywho he launches in there pressurizes the place and saves himself fun fact according to one five minute long youtube video i watched you can actually survive for 15 seconds without dying in space without a space suit i mean but record that same video if you try and hold your breath while doing so you'll instantly [ __ ] explode and it seems to me like frank tried to hold his breath really hard so you know he should be dead whatever he in there with the helmet on giving hell the silent treatment well hell tries to talk to him like oh you actually made i didn't actually well let me just say i am sorry i was definitely in the wrong headspace but i'm good now you can count on me muchacho let's go have a coffee talk about this what are you doing why opening that door man you know that's where my brain is at right that's some sensitive [ __ ] frank you frank frank stop he stop please frank stop ow stop frank frank okay seriously number three is a drive that has 20 teraflops of [ __ ] porn on it if you take that out you won't be able to fap okay that i lied that was not porn that was actually my [ __ ] brain cells so hal keeps talking to him and overall it's kind of creepy especially when he starts singing a song in super slo then the pre-record message starts playing because they're getting pretty close to jupiter and it goes up jackasses why did it start okay so 18 months ago we found this big black box on the moon and it sent a bunch of rays over jupiter and we have no idea what they meant so we thought hey let's send five of our most [ __ ] astronauts over to jupiter and not tell them why but tell their super psycho hell 9000 computer on board that's control of everything because we are idiots and then the movie skips to when frank arrives at jupiter and we get another longest dick scene with some celestial bodies and another eddie so frank hopson upon starts approaching it and starts having seizures while a bunch of crazy psychedelic [ __ ] happens like sideways guitar hero normal guitar hero frank side blown up star milk a star satan's jizz jellyfish porn red more red a singular sperm frank's eye again disco prisons the grand canyon but blue the ocean but green some more color shifting scenery then frank's called shifting eyes again then he ends up with the pod and buckingham palace and he's still spazzing out sees a dude in the corner of room it's him but older then sees a dude chowing down on some food it's him again but even older then super old balled him into bed he's dying or some [ __ ] he starts to point at something he's pointing eddie cut to eddie then we cut back to him and he's a freaking fugly ass space baby in a glowing fish egg then he stares down earth with some hallelujah music playing and the movie ends what the [ __ ] just happened this movie gets three eddies out of two salamanders to major steve you're gonna find diamonds and the keepers want to know if you have much

Channel: High Boi

Views: 3,021,421

Keywords: 2001 A Space Odyssey, 2001 A Space Odyssey recap, 2001 A Space Odyssey review, 2001 A Space Odyssey explained, movie recap, movie, recap, spoilers, funny, haha, lol

Id: gAXYwRRV4eA

Length: 12min 9sec (729 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 05 2020