Spider-Man Far From Home explained by an idiot

welcome to spider-man for a moment we start up in Mexico with Nick Fury and this [ __ ] from How I Met Your Mother but this [ __ ] from Hammacher mother is just is too long and I don't even remember her name on the show so I was gonna learn Fury's little helper okay so they're in Mexico in the place that got destroyed and then suddenly some dude shows up with a fish ball his head and a fart trapped in it and he starts fighting off a rock monster and I'm we cut to black on some sad montage starts playing cuz this movie takes place right after endgame where everybody who got unsnapped stayed the same age but everyone else aged five years and from this clip right here I'm assuming that anybody who got snapped on a plane wide come on snap into midair and fell to their death okay I'm just gonna assume it cuz that's definitely you're saying here now we cut to entry in spider-man doing a press conference fundraiser type thing I don't know then they go backstage for a little break and they meet happy and happy does some weird flirtatious [ __ ] with Aunt May and spider-man's like Lynette Mae [ __ ] off and happy tells Peter that Nick Fury won't stop them he's like no I don't want to then he goes back out to answer the crowds questions but leaves after just 30 seconds because the crowd was asking too many Tony Stark questions and Ian got a bad case of the fields then next day we cut to Peter Parker packing for a school trip to Europe then ma comes in and does this hey that's what I said about last movie wait to sent me watch my videos Peter is Peter Dingle or as we know what spidey sense isn't working properly he's got some sort of erectile dysfunction or some shapes appear in his class get on a plane to Italy and he attends to sitting next to his crush MJ so it can you know doctor and [ __ ] but fails miserably and Ned who was dead set on being American national Europe ends up getting into a relationship with this [ __ ] they get to Italy they unpack then they do some tourists each year Peter gets a necklace that he wants to give to MJ men and big-ass water monster shows up and Peter tries to fight it but I don't [ __ ] anything that's gonna work no worries though cuz fishbowl fart head shows up and he starts fighting the water monster while Peter tries to keep this bell tower standing upright because he needs something to do in this scene so the directors would like yeah I just put an orphan he's underneath the bell tower and make him save him so it doesn't seem as useless as spider-man fighting water sounds so fishbowl 4head defeats the water monster he shows up on the news net but he's asking all sorts of questions about him but [ __ ] nobody is asking what his powers actually are cuz as far as I can tell he can summon and harness the power of farts don't matter let him do to go up to the room and Nick Fury who Peter has been avoiding calls from is sitting in their room and he shoots them the tranquilizers are gonna makes him go to sleep turns out he redirected their school trip to Italy since he didn't want to answer any of his calls and now that he's here he's gonna try and tell Peter about a mission but he keeps getting interrupted by people knocking on the door so he's like [ __ ] this [ __ ] let's go look cool boom on this boat fury gives him some sci-fi glasses that Tony left him after he died then they get to their secret hideout place and he's like okay maybe she saw you without your mask on before but when did they meet you and anybody else in that room for that matter unless you tell them spider-man's secret identity in which case spider-man shall be furious this is a secret enemy and now all these people in the room know she gets leaked easy but weak whatever he also chooses him to mr. Beck who is Mysterio and he starts telling him about these monsters and he's like and long ago the Four Nations lived together in harmony then everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked okay I'm just kidding mr. Bexon earth just not this one if it's from another dimension where these elemental things first appeared and they tried to fight them but the Fire Nation was too strong and it's basically the same thing honestly anyway his planet got [ __ ] and now he's here and so are the other mentals for some [ __ ] reason I know how that happened movie signs I guess and he has killed three other men has to stop the last one which is fire before it's too strong and this earth suffers the same fate as his and they know that the fire Monster is gonna be in Prague in two days and they want spider-man's help but he's like no can do chief I'm a school trip I want to enjoy it and if they see spider-man in Europe they're gonna put two and two together and figure out that I am Spanish so if you just goes but next day the tour company upgrades the class to a trip to Prague then on their way to Prague the bus stops for everyone to take a piss and stretch their legs and for Peter to Loki trial a new stealthy suits in spider-man can't be seen in Europe but while he was taking his clothes off to try on a new suit this asian douchebag walks in and it snaps a picture of him with the attractive european LED there and tells pier that he likes MJ - he's playing to show us pictures so peter has no chance with MJ anymore then Peter uses a Tony Stark's sci-fi glasses which can launch a drone strike on anyone he wants and hack into anything and he accidentally launches a drone strike on this douchebag then after near-death experience for all of them and douchebag he distracts the class and and jumps on a bus to destroy the drone attacking the douchebag comes back down and tells the cipher gustas to just delete the photos and not attack the douchebag now is that so hard Peter I mean what did you think was gonna happen when the glasses were like you dumbass this is stark tech we're talking about targets got Shawn killed so they get to Prague and since Peters already in Prague and he has a new suit both courtesy of fury he has no excuse not to partake in their plan of defeating the big fire monster which could insists of him sitting on a tower and keeping lookout for the fire monster until it shows up so he can tell mr. Beckett or Mysterio to show up and fight it now don't worry this isn't the only part of the plan for spider-man since it can be done by [ __ ] Dimitri or even a god damn security camera he's also supposed to try and keep it away from people and mental since if it consumes too much metal it'll be able to start consuming energy from the Earth's core and we'll get too big to defeat and that happens so Peter tries to keep his class indoors for the time they're fighting the monster but he feels the monster shows up him and Mysterio start fighting it and Peter shoots some invisible she out of the air and he's like what the [ __ ] is that that moves on to saving men and his girlfriend while Mysterio is like oh [ __ ] it's too big I must summon the mega fart let me go super fart saying goes inside the monster and blows it up after they defeated fury shows up and he's like did you have me and then it proceeds to get Peter some [ __ ] about how he's not ready to be an Avenger and stuff and then Peter almost guys so Mysterio takes him to go get a drink and Peter tells him about all the responsibility that comes with the sci-fi glasses that Tony started up for him then suddenly Peter gets an epiphany he goes hold up Tony didn't leave the glasses for me he left it up to me to choose who to give the glasses to and I choose You Pikachu wait me yes no yes no yes okay fine so Peter transfers control over to Mysterio and he's like I i'ma head out what the [ __ ] Peter you just met this guy two days ago you've known him for two days man what the hell dude you're smarter than this at least wait for him to have like two movies or some [ __ ] come on and then Mysterio turns out to be fake he's a villain who to thought Wow and all the fights and monsters and fire and explosions and sound effects and blah blah blah they're all fake they were all Holograms and [ __ ] and he as an ex Tony Stark employee has a team of other ex Tony Stark employees or super-smart working for him to make all this should happen and now with a sci-fi glasses he can use the stock drones to make even bigger and more realistic and deadly illusions now we cut to Peter going back to his hotel and he finds out that everybody's packing to go home to America since all the parents had worked it's only logical honestly and he thinks well it's now or never and he asks MJ out for a walk she agrees it on this walk she's like I know you're spider-man what no nah yeah you are I saw you fighting a fire monster from earlier and here's that thing you hit by accident as proof and then that thing which turns out to be a hologram projector shows the projection of the monster and Mysterio fighting it and Peter's like oh [ __ ] dick titty this is bad this is better better better so Peter tells MJ the truth that he is spider-man and that he has to get to a superhero meeting in Berlin with fury and Mysterio but he has to get there before Mysteria and tell fury that ms2 is a villain so he gets to Berlin and he finds fury or more like fury finds him and they get into a conference room with a series Little Helper any details on that mystery isn't who he says he is and all the [ __ ] is fake and loses in blah blah blah blah blah and turns out that there are in an illusion you see mister you found out that he had a missing daughter to meet Lee suspected spider-man so he came here first man fury gets shot then spider-man gets shot and he starts [ __ ] with spider-man and turning everything into an illusion and playing with his mind and destroying [ __ ] and he punches a wall and stuff many tricks him into falling off a [ __ ] building onto a car and wait a [ __ ] second is that a Lada in Germany holy [ __ ] and that would never happened to a lot of because those comments piece of [ __ ] a bit like [ __ ] tanks moving on the steerer continues to [ __ ] with spider-man until he gets shot by fury in the back ending his illusion and Fury's like you have to tell me who else he told about this [ __ ] because anyone who knows is in danger so Spiderman tells him that only his friends know and it turns out that that is an allusion to my god his spidey sense is it's not it's not even limp dick working it's completely erectile-dysfunction dude you gotta go see a doctor about this so after that last bamboozled by Mysterio he backs him up with some more bamboozles onto some train tracks and turns illusions off and he gets hit by a [ __ ] drink but don't worry spirit survives and he gets onto this completely empty train and passes out I know he's a superhero and super-strength and whatnot but at least one broken bone guys he's not invincible he got hit by a [ __ ] train at full speed come on I guess have to settle for this mild limp so he ends up in a very friendly holding cell in the Netherlands and gets out of it calls happy from one of the locals phones happy gets there and Peter makes sure he's not illusion and Ingold over - happy happy Patterson op Peter has a small mental breakdown happy gives a pep talk and now Peters in the full working order and in tip-top form now let's talk about mysterious plan real quick he's starting to make a super big boss fight in the middle of London so he directed his class over to London and gave him a tour there before they head off to America so he can kill men MJ and tie up some loose ends and some collateral damage I guess and he's also planning on killing fury there since fury being paranoid as [ __ ] is a danger team now back to Peter so he's on a jet with happy would excuse it he's staying with relatives in Berlin then he tracks his class down by watching this idiots dream when he starts making a new Spidey suit in a suit making lab in the back of that [ __ ] jet happy since it could have message to fury so we know something's up and he drops spider-man into the illusion and spider-man starts turn up the losing revealing an invisible drone trying to assassinate fury but then Fury's a little helper blows it up now I just wanna touch on this point for a minute because it is revealed at the end of this movie that fury and fear is little helper are both shape-shifting aliens sent by Nick Fury himself to do his work while he's on vacation which means that the coded message of happy gave the fury couldn't have been a predetermined thing that they have set along for a situation like this no it had to be general up for this time i salient understand it so how did another super smart people working for mister you hear this and not figure it out no matter happy goes to pick up peter's friends but Mysterio blows up the jet and sends some drones to attack them and kill them so they go and hide in the crown jewels vault that's right the crown jewels vault the one where the crowns and jewels are literally behind bomb-proof glass listen I don't know much about the subject but I'm pretty sure that anybody who has something kept buying bomb-proof glass would have to provide security or at least high enough security to keep them from doing this even if the city was being attacked by a what the [ __ ] is that anyway Mysteria targets all other drones to target spy man so spy mind if I tell him off when he gets up the mysterio to take the glass away from him but Mysterio tries to pull one last bamboozle on him however this time Peter spidey sense is cured of erectile dysfunction and he goes ham on them robots with his eyes shut and he gets the Mysteria at another halt who has been shot by one of his drones by mistake and is dying on he hands over the glasses turns out he saw him pull a fast one when spider-man again but Peter spy since this is rock hard baby and he stops him from shooting when the head takes the glass off his head and stops the drones and then Mysterio dies because I friendly fire that part was actually real so in the end Peter gets M Jane in his [ __ ] break up and Peter sets down to ever talk about Aunt May and happy relationship then he finds out that Mysterio had a back-up plan to make spider-man look like a villain and reveal his secret identity this movie gets doctors hate this man because of this one simple trick [Music] [Music]

Channel: High Boi

Views: 4,530,191

Keywords: Spider-Man Far From Home, Spider-Man Far From Home recap, Spider-Man Far From Home review, everything wrong with Spider-Man Far From Home, cinema sins Spider-Man Far From Home, movie recap, movie, recap, funny, lol, haha, spoilers

Id: hZUK0Wrx7ww

Length: 10min 43sec (643 seconds)

Published: Sun Jan 05 2020