Don't challenge the expert! (r/AskReddit)

has someone ever challenged you to something that they didn't know who are an expert at I'm really good at archery my friend and I rented him a bow at the local range and he wanted to bet me beers for every round I told him repeatedly no you will not win he could probably get lucky if we did one arrow shoot offs but he wanted to do proper three arrow rounds he insisted I drank for free all night a neighbor on my block in Brooklyn challenged me to a pizza bake-off I recently catered pizza for my daughter's school and word got around the neighborhood my pizza was pretty darn good my first thought was this guy is a Brooklyn native my pizza will be she compared to his but there was something about him bragging that I couldn't resist the challenge he talked up how pizza was in his blood how his dad ran the pizza place around the corner years ago I remained silent and let my skills answer for themselves I got a buddy to let us use one of bakers pride ovens at his restaurant we even had total strangers try our pizzas every last person shows my pizza over his I never mentioned to him that I've worked in pizza places almost every day for the last 30 years I never mentioned that when I'm not working at a pizza place I'm making pizzas at home at least once every two days I never mentioned that at nine years old I knew that I wanted to be a pizza man Here I am 45 and getting ready to start my own pizza business wasn't me but there's a story about an old geotechnical engineer who used to work for the company I work for several senior staff had to attend a meeting with the client and some government regulatory staff who were being awkward and not approving the design this ghh guy is pretty much quiet the whole meeting throughout the discussion the government guy keeps referencing this research document and shooting down anything anybody suggests at the end of the meeting gear Tetch asks government guy if he has the research paper with him he responds yes and places it on the table giatec asks government guy who is the author of the paper then slides over a business card turns out it's gia teches own paper that government guy has been referencing to defend his argument government guy went bright red and apparently approved the design the same day similarly when fluoridating the drinking water in my city came up for a city vote an anti fluoride guy and a retired dentist had a radio debate the anti fluoride guys paid to go to affected communities and convinced them fluoride is harmful during the radio debate he keeps referencing this one study it concluded that fluoride is harmful in any concentration after the umpteenth time the guy had brought up this study the dentist said you know I've read that study he said that actually there were 12 researchers on that study and only one found anything harmful about fluoride those other 11 researchers actually all agreed his research was biased and he should be taken off the study which he was the study concluded that fluoride in drinking water concentrations is not harmful the dentist said to the anti fluoride guy in that one researcher the one who got kicked out of the study it was you a local mall had a portable climbing wall with a make it to the top and win $100 side the route was actually pretty challenging as I walked by the guy asked me if I'd like to try nobody has made it to the top you think you can do it buddy at the time I was ranked top 12 climber in my age group and kind of laugh to myself after taking my $100 I then proceeded to call the rest of my climbing team and one by one they went to the mall and claimed their $100 after the fourth person they guy got suspicious and took the sign down we later told him we were all nationally ranked competition climbers and he got a good laugh the company who owned the rentals was the one who lost the money he just worked the booth and wasn't the one who lost the prize money my landlord tried blaming me for damage to the kitchen cabinets but didn't know that I'm in construction and am very familiar with home building codes they placed the cabinet's too close to the stove and the glue that held the laminate had melted when working as a teacher I beat a lot of students in Pokemon battles cause they didn't think of me being like 15 years ahead of them in fighting experienced gnomes I was a competitive swimmer for 14 years including four years of NCAA but I'm on the shorter side so people don't assume I was any good was at a friend's house on a lake one summer and a match a guy challenged me to race to a boy in the middle of the lake to prove something I guess the lake is deceptively large about a half mile across so I warned him that if he isn't a strong swimmer it could be dangerous he was running out of gas after about two minutes so I offered to let him off the hook but he insisted he would finish I went to the boy and was swimming back when I found him floundering so I lifeguard swam him back to the house his ego took a deserved hit that day a tinder date bet me dinner that I couldn't beat her in Smash I've been playing competitively for around six years so she ended up paying for dinner my wife and I were taking an evening cruise for adults in Portsmouth Bay the ship drove around the shipyard where my submarine and several others were stationed my wife and I are having acquired drink when a really loud now it all starts spouting misinformation about each submarine we are driving by calling them all the wrong class wrong names etc when he literally points to my submarine and says in that is a 637 class my wife finally speaks up and says actually that is a 688 the guy gets all gruff and says well how would you know my wife smiles hugs my arm and says sweetly that's my husband's submarine it is the Minneapolis st. Paul snn 708 he turned beet red while his date laughed not me but my brother best friend we were in Baltimore for a baseball weekend in 2009 and hanging out at a bar across from Camden Yards they had a silver Strike bowling video game at our local bar back in Boston we had one as well I'm decent at the game but my brother and buddy were refine amazing at this game bowling 300 games and whatnot so two dudes are playing this game and drinking we asked them if we can play when they are done they asked if we want to play them we said sure my brother and buddy destroy these guys like it wasn't even close these dudes said it was a fluke and they wanted a rematch but this time for a round of beer again annihilation city but they kept wanting to play to eventually win a game no lie after 13 rounds of beers they finally gave up they were great guys we saw them the next day at the same bar and they walked up to us with beers in hand already and said rematch to this day we still hang out with them whenever we go to Baltimore and to this day they have never won I'm not a great swimmer but there was a time when I would de laps for literally hours I would go slowly to make sure that I had the energy to do the time I wanted to this kitch alland meet a race I left him so far behind it was funny he thought he was about to humiliate me in front of his friends non swimmers who know nothing about technique are an absolute into race beaten my fair share of buddies who are quick swimmers and didn't know I raced competitively and went to state finals I refused to get in most pools now and so they think I'm scared to swim I just hate the memories my nephew challenged me to Super Smash Bros alt him at once once super smash nephews co-worker I'm pretty good at running I run every day I could probably beat you in a marathon they didn't know I used to be a pro runner ran under 14 minutes in the 5k sub 29 in the 10k and under 15 hours for 100 miles on trails won a national title even so I agreed to run with them and jumped in the local marathon with no training I took the prize purse and made myself a few hundred bucks and took everyone out for beers with it was an interesting next Monday at work just graduated as a teacher and I've been working as a casual relief teacher I played a cross which is a small sport already and even smaller here in Australia I tried out for the last World Cup team and made it to the final cut I was team teaching with another teacher who worked at the school before the period he spoke to me and said hey mate we are doing lacrosse today it's a bit of Nod sport and hard to teach so just wait over there and then you can just help with supervision and discipline then walked off being a CRT from an agency didn't really know how to speak to him speaker I tried to speak to him and say that I played but he didn't give me a second so I listened and did my thing few minutes into the start of the lesson I grabbed a stick and Bolin just started to work my around the class giving them pointers and hints the way he was teaching was completely incorrect and I didn't want to say anything so when the kids broke off into groups I kinda just taught them correctly he pulled me over at a drinks break and dust how I knew so much good perform the skills I told him how I played a cross and my playing history he asked why I didn't speak up and say anything and I said I tried to tell him anyway I ended up running the rest of the class and even ended up sitting down with him and going through the correct and easier way to teach the game and skills everyone thinks they are amazing at Mario Kart they used to be good as a kid ins think they still are I played 2-4 hours every day an undergrad a couple years ago I raced in local and school tournaments and won most of the time I was within seconds on several course records I have every course memorized and no exact he went to break on every turn I don't play much anymore but anytime somebody sees my Mario Kart painting I want it at a local tournament they tell me how amazing they are I'm happy to absolutely destroy them it's an otherwise useless skill went with a big group of college students to bar I was challenged by a cute little girl and by that I mean she was maybe 95 pounds 4 minutes and 11 seconds to a drink contest with a pint of beer I'm 6 feet 1 inches 200 pounds so I just chuckled and agreed to it it seems like I had just enough time to tilt my head back to start chugging when I hear her empty glass hit the table turns out she had the ability to just open her throat and pour the beer down we dated for about six months after that seriously chess I'm a chess master I think when people hear that they're like oh he's really good at chess but what it means is that I've played in international tournaments and beaten other masters and some governing body has given me a title anyway I get challenged a lot by friends who think they are pretty good what they don't realize is that your average pretty good player is getting destroyed by your average tornament play and your average tournament player is getting destroyed by a master someone at a bar bet me there were only thirty days in a particular month $20 if I could prove them wrong right then pre cellphone days I was born on the 31st of that month showed them my driver's license Guitar Hero that poor bastard didn't know what he was getting into he suggested we play and was making joking comments about how he could totally beat me we played on expert and I absolutely demolished him my man was even struggling to hit the orange notes SNH I was visiting PLO a couple years ago I'm an American and my wife and I walked into a tiny bar which had five people in suits laughing and talking in Japanese we instantly knew that this was not a tourist bar and felt pretty out of place the bartender spoke the most English so I asked him what his favorite shot you was and things got a little more comfortable as we drank and the whole bar tried to talk to us someone mentioned Mario Kart and I said yeah year so the bartender points to an old Super Famicom in the corner and apparently I have accepted the challenge I smiled to myself and my wife thinks it's funny because I used to have some skill at this game bartender selects battle mode and the guy's a find phenomenal I haven't played in a few years and he buries me in less than a minute the whole bar is laughing and I'm a little stunned we're on to the second of three rounds I destroy him three balloons to zero everyone cheers except the bartender two shots were put in front of me and I throw one down round three we're down to one balloon each and I swear it's the longest battle round of all time I'm sweating Cheryl dodge shell dodge I have him in my sights and I fire I miss the shell bounces off the wall and I self ko the crowd goes wild so that's the story of how a self-proclaimed Mario Kart expert embarrassed himself and his country in a small bar in Kyoto we drank a lot and made a lot of great friends that night that we'll never see again not a physical challenge but I sell building materials for a living think Home Depot but for guys that build skyscrapers and stadiums there has been many occasions where an old man with zero construction knowledge tries to lecture me on what I do for a living my dad was in two video games before they were Ilya thing he had a Magnavox Odyssey in television etc in the eighties you could rent a Nintendo's and games from video stores he would do this when he visited and I would almost always smoke him at whatever game I didn't see him that much but he was visiting and decided to rent one in the game double dribble old Nez basketball game it was pretty new at the time and he knew I didn't really like basketball he played that all day while I was in school and when I got home he challenged me to a game the look on his face when his ten-year-old son beat him by 20 points or so as priceless my friends and I basically rented every game when it came out and I had played this one a lot I mean it's sports but it is still a video game I was good at games Karma time is now my teenagers can regularly beat me at just about anything while not a pro I'm pretty darn good at poker the church I was at at a poker night and I was just going to watch they insisted I joined the 25 cent game came home with $200 and they decided to never have a poker night again my office announced a laser tag team building event two weeks after I played in the laser tag ultra zone national championships which were an actual thing in 1997 I had a mate that would play call of duty with me I'd usually beat him in a 1 volt one but he occasionally would maybe win or at least get close but then we played a different game MotorStorm apocalypse I was a legitimate top 10 player on that game with multiple number one time attack times et Cie and he had just started playing through the a fly mode and was winning the races so he thought he was good I warned him but he insisted on a one volt one to show off his skills two minutes later I'd lapped him on a three-lap race and he's quit the race before he's finished due to the embarrassment of not being able to finish because there's a one-minute timer on the end of the race where anyone that hasn't finished doesn't get to finish he never played that game again we had a golf work outing and he challenged me at golf now I've played golf my whole life I also played in high school and have played at public courses every year since he did not know this the first hole he gets to witness a 200 yard drive down the middle he tries to play it off like I got lucky but no every hole after that was the same he drank a lot after the first couple holes he to this day refuses to say I won because we didn't keep a scorecard my buddy was dismissing my advice to another friend about overwatch because I don't play ranked at all I did my placement games that day and ranked three four leagues above him and have only risen since then mine's kind of dumb but I think it still counts at work I'm kind of the Google sheets expert and I make lots of tools for different departments to use enter new guy who needed to collect aggregate and display a bunch of data my boss was like send wish a calendar invites so you can tell her what you want and she'll set it up for you new guy was having none of that and insisted he was going to do it himself well a week later he finally has this tie sheet that doesn't have half the information we need and we have to have the numbers for the state by tomorrow so my boss asks me to fix it and you guys like yeah okay that's not really possible this is is a good as it's going to get two hours later I send them both the fully functional and automated sheet that does everything we need and we'll be able to use it indefinitely which means next time and every time the stupid state report is due it will already be done new guy was like I would have added that in if I'd had more time it was my first weapons qualification with a National Guard unit I had just transferred to a lot of ng soldiers only shoot a rifle once a year for qualification a soldier in the platoon I took over was joking about how left tenants are bad at basic soldier tasks trying to get me worked out he bet I couldn't shoot better than him we are not supposed to bet so I declined any wager but I did accept the challenge I had 40 out of 40 like I always do he hit the minimum 23 out of 40 he basically bet I wouldn't qualify I've worked in the firearms industry my whole civilian career and have focused on rifle and long-range shooting as my main hobby and have shot competitively his excuses were hilarious his sight wasn't working he couldn't get a good position blah blah blah I put him on a few details for being a poor sport for reference this is clay pigeon shooting kinda known as trap in the south well I'm from a rural area and not exactly super southern so when I'd go to other trap fields to practice different conditions there's always be a smartass or to try and place a bet with me this is definitely an old money sport with some of the guns going upwards of $5,000 I had an old bt100 that we got in a trade for lead shot and some cash on the side while not cheap it was still much lower than other people's guns and people would take that as me being a newbie they'd learn pretty quick though since the team I was one went to the Nationals almost every year from 11 to 18 it was always funny because some would be good sports but others would throw an absolute fit I saw a guy damage at 10,000 per se because someone else beat him before even funnier parties there was a guy from the county next to us who could blow us out of the water and he always shot with an 870 pump from Walmart camped out for tickets to the Phantom Menace guy in a group behind me challenged everyone to Star Wars Trivial Pursuit for money it got to my first turn and I ran the board and won without anyone else getting to go I felt bad so I didn't even take his money eastin accused me of having memorized the cards to cheat nope just seen the original trilogy dozens of times all my life kind of similar I told the guy at work that I could play guitar he didn't believe me and challenged me to learn and play - swing in two weeks nailed it in the timeframe performed it at work I had only accepted to perform it to him I'm a bit shy and don't like performing but there were no meeting rooms free and to perform in front of the whole office not my idea of fun it went well and he they now believe I can play a bit my college has a dedicated gaming room in its central building there's TVs for people to plug whatever - and use I went in one day and saw someone playing guitar hero he was playing on expert so he was decently good but not perfect i sat down chatted him up and eventually he challenged me pro faceoff on through the fire and flames get more points than your opponent I'm not perfect at ttfaf but I figured what the hell it'll be fun well our fearless protagonist got a little too big for his boots on that one because our man couldn't hit the intro the higher your combo and gah the more your score is multiplied all the way up to 4x if you don't hit the intro in ttfaf and can't keep your 4x through the fast strumming at the beginning you're immediately behind somewhere in the echelon of 30k to 60 k points the solos didn't fare him much better he blamed his gear a buddy mine was at a concert in bad seats and started complaining about it via twitter all of a sudden the band starts reading some tweets and calls my friend up to sit on stage for a couple songs they said him at the piano and during the next song they jokingly go okay piano solo the crowd laughs for a second but then my buddy just starts jamming out as he plays piano in his band talk about dream moment getting to play with your favorite band when I was around 10 there was an old man with Alzheimer's in my neighborhood who would often approach my friends and I he would ask us questions that we obviously didn't know the answer to such as what's the square root of 2 which was one of his favorites one day I decided I'd memorized the square root of 2 to 20 digits sure enough he did ask me the question again and I was totally prepared he was extremely impressed and of course he forgot who I was sir would continue to ask over and over again astronomer here so if we were to just meet on the street you probably wouldn't guess I was a scientist I am a woman who enjoys dresses when the weather is nice and this was doubly true when I was a few years younger in my 20s and single especially at bars so at the end of college I was doing a summer internship in Mountain View California where if you went out there'd be a lot of Google boys who would literally sometimes wear Google shirts so you'd know they're extra obnoxious I remember getting stuck chatting with one and when he asked my major he sneered with the do you really know the subject attitude and asked me if I knew how the Heisenberg uncertainty principle was and when I explained his 20 questions said it's probably not so hard because they go easy on women because they don't want to scare them off then he proceeded to tell me about a lecture he attended and Mountainview that he'd been lucky enough to visit as a Google employee by Bill Tata who runs a SETI Institute and proceeded to tell me about the Allen telescope array they were building in Northern California because I might not know about it I gave him a minute for his spiel but then said I actually was working for Joel that summer at the SETI Institute on interference mitigation for the Allen telescope array and did he want to hear what she was really like or see some pictures from the @ax site I'd also just met Frank Drake and he was really nice oh man was that guy not happy but hey at least he stopped talking to me like right after people say all kinds of random shall weather and climate functions I'm a meteorologist in disguise work as a data scientist but has a masters and a PhD in meteorology when I politely and gently inform them how things actually work people are usually super interested to know more but occasionally I got something like over and how do you know well I have published several papers on the matter would love to discuss it all night so far they've all backed down after that some guy tried to hit on me by drawing me within a minute while I was with my now husband then boyfriend and best friend we indulged him I asked if I could do one in return and blew his out of the water then I introduced my boyfriend he bowed out gracefully and we laughed and I was incredibly flattered really creative way to hit on someone and I think we ended up buying him a beer [Music]

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Keywords: people who challenged experts, challenge the expert, dont challenge the expert, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit cringe, ask reddit, reddit story, funny reddit, best reddit posts, reddit funny, reddit top posts, expert, challenge, reddit best, storytime with reddit, sir reddit, askreddit, r/askreddit, updoot reddit, people of reddit, reddit, askreddit funny, experts, funny askreddit, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, reddit expert, subreddit

Id: Jz7O7K32s1I

Length: 24min 32sec (1472 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 14 2020