...and that’s why we put this sign up - (r/AskReddit)

like and subscribe right now or else this will be in your bed tonight our /oscar edit by planet reddit what is your favorite and that's why we had to put a sign up story his first day of kindergarten my brother thought he could escape during recess by trying to climb this massive chain-link fence he got up about eight feet before the lunch ladies noticed and disciplined him the aides sent him to the principal's office and when questioned why he did it my little smartest five-year-old brother replied that there was no sign that said he can't climb it there is now a sign was chatting with students in the lounge area when all of a sudden we hear an incredibly loud bang turns out that another new student had been texting while walking to our centers demo room and totally missed the fact that the rooms walls are all panes of glass so she ultimately face-planted in front of me and my group not the first time this has happened but this was enough to warrant a caution glass ahead sign there's a glass door in a control tower at Miami International Airport that has a caution del sign on it for similar reasons I was the one who walked into it from my father he was eating at a seafood restaurant and had to pee there was a sign on the door to the bathroom that said something like if you ate this dish then wash your hands before using the bathroom my father being male and my father laughed it often stepped inside to use the urinal there was a moment when he was peeing and fine and then there became the moment where he felt like his dong was on fire so he ran to the sinks and stared splashing water on his junk which also splashed his face so he in a very home alone style grabbed his face in an OMG fashion which then started to burn his eyes so he was there for a very long time splashing water up and down trying to control the burn eventually he returned to the table paid and left obviously there was a reason why the sign existed and he was just an extension of it hatch nm is famous for its chili peppers people make pilgrimages from all over the country to buy them you've never had hatched chili-pepper seriously go get some now they're frigging awesome if you go there on your own personal pepper pilgrimage you'll notice that a few of the pepper vendors have signs in their bathrooms that read wash hands before using the facilities a lot of tourists including me learn that lesson the hard way I'd spent most of the morning handling patters sampling pepper jellies pepper gummies tasting pepper infused wine etc I went into the bathroom whipped out mr. happy and proceeded to do my business let's just say that hatch chili peppers have a little heat on em back when I was a kid there was a roadside park we picnicked and where a guy chasing a frisbee jumped a fence not realizing that those were not bushes on the other side but the tops of trees growing from the base of a 30-foot cliff so anyway that's how that park came to have signs every ten feet on the fence warning of the drop a couple of guys I know one of them did this in our city in a rant for underground parking for the law-courts they were drunk and decided that they could jump the hedge in front of them broken ankles for everyone sadly they sued and won over lack of signage I still think dumb is it's and reward edit I didn't mention the height of the hedge it wasn't like a three-foot little decoration this was chest level in front of the cement guardrail all-in-all an impressive leap we have a rule at our pool that in the sauna you can't exercise one man consistently works out in the sauna I used to go to a gym where a lady would regularly do naked yoga in the sauna I guess she wanted to do hot yoga in the gym didn't bother it that is a Power Move through my cousin who managed a restaurant for years on the hostess stand at the front they had a sign that said we smoked our meats with premium Akal would a small bowl of the woodchips they used placed right in front of it the amount of people who would take a wood ship and try to eat it was staggering it got to the point they had to keep a bag of the warships in the cabinet of the hostess stand people would sometimes put them in the mouths and spit it out embarrassed and try to cover it up some would laugh and say I shouldn't have had that last drink others would turn around double down and try to give the saliva covered chip to the hostess then complain that these mints are disgusting so there is now another sign beside the bullet says war chips do not eat in red letters make cell phone conversation every night for the hostesses seating people who are new to the restaurant unfortunately they still need to keep an extra bag of wood chips in the stand and people still think they look like a great after dinner snack now when the double donors complain the hostess just points to the silent laughs people never cease to amaze what I mean it's a chip ain't it if I can eat potato chips and corn chips and apple chips why can't I eat Applewood chips I am suing paint chips are the best chips at a seminar on new colas to me supplies there was a sticker on the colostomy bag collar the part your modified intestine sticks through stating that the colostomy was not to be used for sexual pleasure I don't know the backstory but according to a doctor I know it's disturbingly common for people to catch STDs and their colas to me whole because oh well I had to learn that so you'll do - how do I unlearn something I work at the dining hall at my university and was cleaning the salad bar when I noticed a small fire coming from our toaster oven after running to find my manager we eventually put it out turns out some guy stuck a piece of pie in there with a paper plate and the entire thing bursted into flames please only put bread in the toaster became the new sign we had to put a sign up a few years back at my job on one of those automated sample machines it was dispensing small tins of Caesar's dog food very clearly advertised as such and a woman approached myself and a co-worker asking us why she and her two children just hates dog food I felt the only response to her was because he fed it to the management didn't approve of that answer so we had to put up a sign one day I noticed that they had rained cleaned and refilled the pool of my apartment complex a few days later I noticed him new sign on the pool area gave that set persons with active diarrhea all who have had diarrhea in the past 48 hours are not permitted to enter the pool I've also seen this sign of sparse people be nasty the drop off laundry service in my neighborhood put up a sign that said they are no longer accepting underwear it's a laundry a business built on dirty clothing how nasty was those drawers that they had to ducting change their policy my husband and I moved into our first home it was a completely renovated amazingly cool house we knew the previous owner flipped it and it was a bonafide bachelor pad leather bar pinball machine we wonder lighting in the kitchens bathroom hot tub the whole nine yards a few weeks after moving in we noticed people kept stopping by the house asking for Alex we told them he didn't live here anymore and they always would ask if we had his new address they were nice enough but it was starting to get annoying one Tuesday evening around 11 o'clock we were falling asleep on the couch and all of a sudden some guy strung out appeared in our living room he opened the sliding door right next to us and walked in asking for Alex my husband stood up and was like WTF Alex doesn't live here anymore tell your friends of the guy left we learned the next day from our neighbors that alex was the local drug kingpin in the area and frequently had his unsavory clientele over to pick up product here it allows of the day night that weekend we put up a sign that said Alex doesn't live here went out and got a massive Rottweiler we named him Alex well where the duct did your dog lives Alex didn't live in that house he got his own doghouse over to his own the other day a woman was tanning in the middle of a shooting range I think some new signs will be made Jesus what the hell was the range safety to him ready on the right right is ready ready on the left left is tanning when you want to get to nice tan but also high key one who died one we had a guy near a pool feed seagulls so now the hotel I work at has an OC Girls Aloud sign near the pools seagulls are illiterate a-holes I doubt that'll stop him not necessarily a sign we put up but worked with an assistant manager at Sonic who had poured degreaser and her drink and proceeded to drink it's to claim that someone had tried poisoning her and of course upon reviewing the infamous non-working camera system and watching her poison herself every employee at that point had to sign paperwork stating we would not drink cleaning chemicals edit I originally put Sonic but it was actually some way I worked at Sonic afterward I promise not to poison myself on company property rule number 18 suicide attempts not to be made after clocking out and leaving the building no exceptions I work in an office and in the bathroom we have a sign that says please don't flush printer paper throw your divorce papers in the trash now every time someone in our office has to use a bathroom we say I gotta go flush the divorce papers when I was in the fourth grade during art class I drew a Minecraft creeper drawing on construction paper later me and my friends went to use the bathroom and I still had the drawing in my hands so I decided to lay the drawing into the urinal just to be funny then one of my friends flushed the urinal the paper didn't let the water go through hole of the urinal so we decided to start flushing it over and over again in the water began to overflow the bowl and onto the floor then one of the teachers got suspicious to why she heard laughing and yelling in the bathroom she came in and and saw what we were doing and went out and told every adult she could see and more teachers came in and took us into the principal's office we all blamed it on each other and most of us got suspended including me fourth-grade minecraft creeper I'm sorry I just can't get past this someone shot in urinal every block over the course of two weeks without anyone noticing after it was cleaned the sign was put up saying please do not put things in the urinal the sign was promptly found inside the urinal one day before I became a manager at my McD's I found [ __ ] all over the urinal up the sides and everything like right before I was supposed to clock out I didn't say anything and clocked out on time near my old city there was a street sign that roughly said when translated don't cross here you could die eventually it became don't cross here someone already died saw a sign like that near a waterfall on our honeymoon it said something to the effect of 15 people have died here after leaving the path and falling on the slippery rocks definitely got my attention it really shines brightest when the number has been crossed out and replaced by hand I live in Vancouver where the incident happened where the sea lion grabbed that girl and dragged her underwater and the grandpa had to save her in the area where that happened there's a sign that says no feeding the sea lions as a visual depiction haven't been back in a while but I'm pretty sure it's still there yes I noticed the signs appeared there shortly afterwards I'm from Richmond my stepdad worked at a shipping yard and they had to put cylindrical tanks in one of two spots indicating whether they were full of gas or empty so one day the boss asks a guide to wield two signs one saying full and the other saying empty this guy wasn't all there and he did create the signs and showed them off to the boss the first one was well made full it said the second one empty they all found it so funny they kept it that way there is a bad habit among the shop workers of my area at least when an oxygen or acetylene bottle is empty they take a paint marker and wait empty on the tank it's really obnoxious because those tanks get reused all the time so when they come back full it still read empty we had one guy get written up because he took a wire wheel brush on a grinder to erase it it was acetylene and it was very much full don't take power tools too explosive tanks kids it's a ducking done move idea used chalk it stays on while you need it but comes off easily three times over the winter I took my kid to the zoo and there was a volunteer standing at a certain spot at the gorilla enclosure showing one of the gorillas videos on her firm he was very interested in videos of other gorillas and it was mental stimulation for him she would tell us the gorilla would sit very close to the glass to see her phone she was dressed just like a volunteer and talked like one - turns out she wasn't a volunteer turns out watching YouTube is bad for gorillas there is now a sign saying don't show videos to the gorillas it has a negative impact on their relationship with their family we had to place a know hanging around outside sign up because the teenagers did not know what no loitering meant I work in private security I once upon a time had to ask a group of people hanging out in a hospital parking garage to leave but they asked why I said we had a policy of no loitering in the garage due to some issues we had been having with break-ins if their response was we ain't loitering we just waiting around I had a friend in high school who thought loitering was just another word for littering which sort of makes sense if you know the area there's a very specific accent to the area that I can't really explain the words high-tide is a good example though it's pronounced Hoyt I'd like the center sound is a British pay attention oh why instead of a hard I so litter to loiter isn't as big a stretch as you'd think he'd lived there all his life and I was from off so I got to explain the difference weird day there is a sign on the way to my grandparents house that had a picture of a cow falling off of a cliff out to a car because there is a cattle field on the cliff above the road and at least three cows have fallen to there in demand lucky drivers death I don't see what use the sign is though being aware of the potential for falling cows doesn't help you to avoid them when you see an actual cow falling off the cliff your first reaction will be to gawk at it well look at that it's a falling cow the sign preps your mind to understand that cows can fall off the cliff above you and may hit your car when a prepared person sees our fallen cow they will react differently at the college I went to there was a sign on the men's bathroom in one building that said please don't use your feet to flush the toilets because some do drop kicks a toilet in an attempt to flush it I've never laughed so hard reading a sign in my life at a previous workplace please do not put toilet paper in the urinal with the graffiti'd addition no TP just pee pee I'm a little confused as to why this sign was needed I had a work order generated for wall toilet leaking figured it was a lady who called it in or a wall-mounted toilet nope the guy was working and was able to walk us right to the urinal that was having issues maybe he's the one putting TP in the wall toilets they had to put up a large sign at a local nursing home saying basically don't let people out the daughter outside without checking with staff evidently a resident in a gown and wheelchair asked a visitor to hold the door with an alarm and a keypad code to open open for them and the person did the staff ran out and got the patient at the end of the driveway about to push out into traffic the visitor actually said I didn't know she wasn't allowed out this is a second third hand story so idk the validity I have heard of some retirement homes that will have a bus stop built on the sidewalk between the main building in the road and it has a big sign saying bus stop on it so if a person slips out they often would get to the bus stop and then sit down to wait for the bus staff would keep an eye on the bus stop and round up anybody that was out there waiting for the bus the real bus stop was on the street and you had to walk a little bit further to get to it I feel bad for the lost elderly tourist who was rounded up at that bus stop and dragged into the nursing home it's not really a unique situation but one of my favorite bars has signs in the bathroom that say we don't poop in your art box don't art in our poop box people massively bringing dogs to the park despite of a big no dogs sign the locals say the sign is too high and dogs cannot see it the dogs actually can look up so they should know better oh sure and the shotgun in the Winchester is real mainland Chinese tourists [ __ ] in and around the Louvre they had to put signs up and Mandarin that say that these areas are not placed to defecate as someone from mainland China I'm almost always disgusted by our country's tourists there's this knick-knack shop in my home town that has a decorative basket of colorful bead soaps or whatever and above it they had this sign that said do not eat because years ago there was some kid that tried to eat them and kept dropping them into his mouth one after another dot dot I was like five and they looked like some doofus candy don't you judge me when signing a lease for an apartment in college the landlord mentioned you will probably see some funny things in there the one I had to ask about said something to the effect of lessee shall agree to not run internal come tune engines inside the dwelling the landlord started putting that sin his leases after walking in on a guy working on and running his motorcycle in the middle of his living room so for some reason in my neighborhood people systematically seem to target our mailbox when they're out walking their dogs their dogs need to pee this has built into an issue as it has rotted the wood out and we've already replaced the post once because of this so put up a big flamboyant sign that reads warning chemically treated hazardous to animals it's done its job and of course there's no actual hazard edit forgot to mention it's not just the mailbox that suffers my brothers and I planted several flowers and small bushes for my mother that had meaning to her these havel unfortunately died due to the neighbors despite our attempts to keep them alive we have a sign on our fuel island raised concrete with the fuel pumps on it that you cannot walk on it to get across you have to walk around someone was going to walk across it fell and broke their hip also there's now a fencing to stop you my favorite mostly because it happened to me but not because it was a great experience law when I was about six we lived across the street from a park and my sister and I would go play over there all the time of course on this particular summer day we had our best friends over who also happened to be sisters my best friend and I decide to go back across the street to get some popsicles and my mother is across the street to supervise the crossing this was a useless effort because I had stepped between the cars parked on my side of the street to check if the coast was clear I was too short to see over them and I got hit by a car I was in the hospital for a month because my skull was cracked for the second time in my life law anyway after that they put up a sign that said slow children at play we moved shortly after all this but it's still there and whenever I pass it I am reminded that it's there because of any if only you hadn't been such a slow child at it really you've guild this slow children indeed don't a boiler room sucks if you closed it fully the maintenance gar literally has to crowbar it open I'm the maintenance guy now there's a sign that says do not closed or completely or maintenance literally as to crowbar it open perhaps the maintenance guy could fix the door whoa there Satan once a toilet was so severely clogged they tried everything but it was impossible to fix it so plumbers came and opened the whole pipe to fix it surprisingly a slipper was found inside the toilet and no one knew what happened to the slipper to be found inside a toilet pipe so they posted the sign saying not to flush anything except what to be expected to flush not a sign but I was going through a military school in Alabama when a classmate asked for a ride to a local bar so she could line dance it was her preferred exercise and she was jonesing so I took her being the only person available with a coffe privately owned vehicle she danced for a couple of hours teach a new line dance night on a Wednesday as I recall then I said it was time to go back to our lodging because I was tired I added that I would be leaving town that weekend but I'd noticed a mechanical bull in the corner it was just sitting there that night but I bet there had it going on the weekend and all she had to do was tell the fighter pilots in the room about the mechanical bull and she would have arrived to the bar to line dance to her heart's content that weekend she agreed it was a good idea I came back Monday morning and was met by a couple of greetings that went something like did you hear about James I said no and they said they had to hurry but we could talk later I caught the third person who said that and asked what specifically had happened she began with well see Amy suggested this great bar across town where there was a mechanical bull turns out James had written well and long being fairly athletic and having not had much to drink and they had cranked up the volume if you follow he'd been doing great until his right foot had become wedged between the pedestal and the saddle at precisely the moment he had pitched his body left to counterbalance the buck of the saddle and snap snap anyway in a roundabout way thanks to me the air force now includes mechanical bull on their list of risky dangerous activities the air force now includes mechanical bull on their list of risky dangerous activities the military has a list of dangerous activities are you prohibited from participating in these activities it seems like the list should start with being in the military no prohibited so much as you need approval from your commander and a nice piece of paper that says you have it thanks for watching subscribe for three videos a day [Music]

Channel: Ask Planet

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Id: u1WXUpQwBPA

Length: 23min 55sec (1435 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 08 2020

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