Divorce Lawyers, What Is Your Most Memorable Case? (r/AskReddit)

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divorce lawyers opera debt what are some of your most memorable cases had a client whose soon-to-be ex-husband used her email address and phone number to sign her up for every bank loan religious mental illness and adults site he could think of she was bombarded by people contacting her about her interest in their product services he even put out ads for adult partners on Craigslist with her information the kicker is that she actually went out with a guy who contacted her if I learned anything being a divorce attorney I no longer practice it was at if the opposing party sounded like a nut case I would soon see the nut case come out of my own client normal people don't just accidentally marry crazies not often worked as courtroom Clark front desk when I was in college a couple argued on the custody details on their son I thought it was the normal I won't let you see him you piece of crap but the mom wants the dad to spend more time during holidays together all three of them and the dad wants to do the same just more frequently they ended up reconciled and agreed to couples therapy before the divorce procedure went further but then they came back a month later to withdraw the divorce proceeding well at least this turned out well it's nice to see something not quite so depressing ponderin couple came in for divorce consult I informed them I could only represent and advise one of them and white called first so I am representing her he furiously storms out two days later he hides in the bushes outside the house where she is staying when she leaves to go to work he jumps out in decapitate cell with a machete two small kids in the house terrible crap I once represented a client from a divorcing couple who still lived together pending the sale of the family home that would not speak to one another for any reason whatsoever had to negotiate terms with opposing counsel for the sharing of refrigerator space had a husband and wife go toe-to-toe over an ashtray they got in Vegas at some point neither smoked strangely enough spent nearly five thousand dollars for me and another attorney to Duke it out in court over the silly thing prior to proceeding I explained what the cost would be to argue over something silly like this and that he could give me $2,500 and I would fly to Vegas for the weekend and get him an identical one instead he said he didn't care about the costs because he intended to smash it on the courthouse steps in front of her if we won we won and he followed through with the Smashing he laughed and said the look on her face was worth much more than $2,500 people get crazy and divorce proceedings he could give me $2,500 and I would fly to Vegas for the weekend nice try worked for a family law lawyer in Santa Cruz one of her frequent opponents a decent if aggressive lawyer just down the street but got a package bomb wrapped like a Christmas present he picked it up and it blew up in his face blew off most of his fingers and left shrapnel in his face and chest last I heard he dropped out of the legal profession happened on Christmas Eve in 1996 I worked for a law firm while in college and we had a client who had just come home from a two-week vacation with his wife only to be served with divorce papers and a temporary restraining order as soon as they pulled in the driveway wife didn't say a word and just went into their house poor guy came straight in our office and was massively confused to say the least husband and wife still living together at the time had a small confrontation the husband calls a sphincter says what on her and she takes the bait and says what he giggled like a little kid she then told her lawyer who had to talk to his lawyer his lawyer asked him if he called his wife a sphincter and told him he's not allowed to call her that anymore comma his lawyer asked him if he called his wife a sphincter and told him he is not allowed to call her that anymore technically he didn't in the first place she identified as one when he asked my brother is a divorce attorney his most memorable case he was representing a guy in a divorce custody battle who was accused of horrific child abuse very graphic very detailed depositions from the young kids against daddy things look grim then my brother a failed actor notices the deposition transcript done by social workers under contains a question at the end from one of the kids did I hit my marks he wonders how little kids know about acting jargon subpoena 's wife's personal checking account during discovery sure enough acting lessons the poses an extremely sketchy acting coach and panics coach produces DVDs of practice interrogations with the kids hours of coaching the kids on exactly what imaginary things to say about Daddy he says it was his one and only Perry Mason moment in 20 plus years of practice and dad got sole custody of the kids what a terrible terrible human being the husband's statement of property listed all the food in the kitchen as of the date of separation complete with estimated values for each item Campbell's vegetable soup $0.79 20-plus year divorce lawyer here I've seen it all I once represented a husband divorcing his wife of 35 plus years they were in their late 60s at mediation they divided up about a half million in assets within 30 minutes then they spent 2.5 hours fighting over two Huracan glasses from pat o'brien's and a pitchfork mediator she really wants that pitchfork it was a gift from her daddy husband that B we bought it at Home Depot two years ago and etc they settled at mediation after spending over $1,000 in attorney fees combined for the glasses and pitchfork they remarried three months later my first trial my client was being sued for a divorce on grounds of habitual cruel and inhuman treatment her husband alleged that she grabbed his dong really hard and hurt it he alleged it was on purpose I had to cross-examine him about it now mrs. so-and-so can you show me how you grabbed his penis and once more for the jury one more time for the judge almost done one more for the defense my first client was in an abusive relationship her soon-to-be ex told her she wasn't going to get a diamond support would text her terrible things about how he would never pay ended up getting her a sizable support order for her and her children I member the last thing I talked to her about was that she was so happy she finally took control of her life a few days later I got a call from opposing counsel asking if I would consent to terminate the support order I asked why would I do that turns out she passed away in her sleep the day prior heart issues that she suffered from for years PostScript opposing counsel a relatively young guy also passed away soon after I think I might be the only survivor from that case also had a client who fought tooth and nail over cookie sheets prospective I suppose my aunt has been divorced for quite some time she drives our attorney crazy with her requests demands most recently she took her husband to court over one he switched the beneficiary of his life-insurance policy from her the ex-wife to their children - she wants court-ordered drug tests weekly she found out from her friend who works at her pharmacy that he has had quite a few narcotic prescriptions it obviously can't enter that into evidence or friend will be fired three wants to know the Daisy's working and locations so she can have her private investigator keep an eye out and make sure the new girlfriend isn't joining him at hotels he's charging on his work card at some point she just needs to let it go and move on she got the house and the house payments the kids the boat and the Marriott points he doesn't pay alimony or child support so it seems like it worked out well I don't understand why people go through so much trouble not a lawyer it has a courthouse Clark I had a court order come across my desk that explicitly banned a father from playing minecraft with his son over the internet because he ex-wife alleged that the in-game chat was a form of improper contact that wasn't outlined in their custody visitation plan former court clerk hear the crap you see as a clerk is often like the real-life version of WTF for five plus years I spent my days in awe and for the majority of them not in a good way but though I think it helped develop my sense of humor my mom works in divorce court she comes homeless stories that are interesting sad funny and sometimes just weird it what you would expect for the most part then there are the drug addicts that don't want to give up custody the day of the drug test comes in the person miraculously decided to shave their entire body tests are now given right after the judge asks for one and some are hilarious when you are not the one involved my favorite is a voicemail is played in court as evidence the wife is cheating on the guy this voicemail is from the husband to the wife hey I know you are there the only reason you can't answer is because I know you can't speak with that guy's dong in your mouth sometimes my mom has those stories which are funny if you are not involved this is why I could never be in a courtroom I'd laugh myself into a stroke my clients husband cheated on her with another woman and he took some photographs of her ahem penetration she found the pictures on the husband's computer but his face was not in any of them so during a deposition I had to ask him if the penis in the photographs belonged to him and he said he wasn't sure when I pressed him on why he could not identify his own penis he claimed that exposure to Agent Orange in Vietnam caused him to have memory problems I'm a real-estate lawyer but a friend of a friend is a divorce lawyer I was once told a story where said lawyer was brutally attacked by a client's former spouse apparently the former spouse blamed the divorce attorney for taking him to the cleaners in the divorce the worst part is that the lawyer was at the grocery store doing his weekly food shopping with his wife and kids when he was savagely beaten the criminal lawyers work with the worst people on their best behavior family lawyers work with the best people on their worst behavior criminal lawyers work with the worst people on their best behavior family lawyers work with the best people on their worst behavior dang that's a good one I work for a mortgage company and occasionally we have to review divorce decrees if someone is divorcing to remove a spouses name from the loan there is a notorious case known around my pretty large department as the cap divorce decree account in this divorce too there is the five page addendum specifically regarding mittens and buttons Johnson names changed for their protection memorable clauses included mandatory ten minute Skype sessions weekly know unsupervised playdates with children under 15 and that their clause be trimmed every three days not divorce related but still interesting when a local couple died there will indicated that their house and sizeable fortune would remain in trust managed my family friends until their several cats died of natural causes the odd thing is it's been over 20 years now and the cats are still alive also they've changed color last sentence made me roll when I was an assistant girl I was involved with a PFA protection from abuse proceeding for a divorcing couple the allegation was that the husband sent his brother a Facebook message that said somebody's about to get Ray Rice looks pretty bad right well both the husband and the brother get on the stand and explained that they were talking about their mother they said that ever since they were kids when their mom would yell at them they would say crap like mom you're about to get rock bottom's or you keep it up and you're gonna get a Stone Cold Stunner mind you these guys were at the time of this hearing in their late 20s it was all I could do to keep from laughing I was just picturing the kids from Talladega Nights for the whole time I'm not a divorce lawyer but when I was at a mediation a few months ago the mediator was telling me about a divorce he mediated a few years back it was your classic rich guy is sick of his wife and kids and once a divorce to run off with a young hot piece of butt his wife wanted blood she came to the mediation with some pretty outrageous demands about the money and property she'd receive the mediator pushed hard throughout a long day of mediation but she hadn't budge an inch it finally very late in the day the husband threw up his hands and said Frick it give her everything she's asking for and let's be done with it the mediator went back to the wife's conference room to share the good news that the husband had caved in and she flipped the freak out glowing incandescent with rage of the idea her husband was willing to pay truly insane compensation to be done with her and ride off with his little girlfriend she was emotionally invested in the fight and the hubby eventually dismissed it and her as not worth his time I can understand her rage divorce lawyer here I've never had anything too crazy the worst I can think of is representing my client who had to be transported from the jail for allegedly violating the restraining order between the two there was another one that was technically a dissolution of domestic partnership not a divorce but essentially the same thing for never married parties that was fairly crazy client alleged her ex had killed a man and reported it to the police but I guess they never found the body also alleged his attorney was sleeping with him one of my co-workers had a case where the ex was awarded the couple's dog in the divorce only to have it euthanize just so the other would suffer more I don't care how bad your relationship is there is no excuse for that that P me off to hear about you've been visited by professor Popa you lace all your classes this year only if you comment study hard papa if you are new to the 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Channel: Updoot Everything
Views: 34,393
Rating: 4.8980508 out of 5
Keywords: #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh, reddit lawyer stories, reddit lawyers, reddit divorce, reddit divorce stories
Id: F6Fw_1OdVi8
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Length: 14min 36sec (876 seconds)
Published: Sun Dec 08 2019
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