Divorce Lawyers, What Plot Twists Have You Seen?

divorce lawyers over at it what plot twists or crazy antics or demands have you seen go down from either spouse took the couple two hours to decide who would get the groceries left in the fridge estimated value of the groceries was around forty dollars two hours of my time opposing council time and mediator time added up to about one thousand dollars it all came down to a costco sam's club-sized jar of peanut butter who keeps peanut butter in the fridge this is what happens when you negotiate on an empty stomach i had a couple arguing for three hours over who got the kids on christmas day only to discover at the end that they were both jewish i had another woman who said that her husband drained 60k dollars from their community bank account to pay for a sex change operation that he never told her he was planning to do i hate it when i find out i'm jewish i was a clerk for a law firm in marin county the husband grew weed in the house the town was supportive and even let him redo his electrical panel to accommodate his crop long story short in the divorce she demanded half of the weed proceeds today it doesn't seem like a big deal but 12 years ago i was shocked to see that in a court document my dad was a divorce attorney for some time he said people would argue over 150 patio furniture for hours on end at a 300 hr8 each side it's not about the patio furniture it's about sending a message to your bee of an ex-husband wife i had a case where the estranged wife was calling my client's employer repeatedly accusing him of theft and other white-collar crimes to try getting my client fired the thing is the children were with her and she was also demanding child support which is based on his income for the job from which he was trying to get him fired fortunately the employer was onto her bs and my client wasn't let go the ex-wife hid his artwork works he had purchased long before the marriage and in mediation she tried to sell it back to him and then not necessarily a crazy divorce story but my dad is a lawyer and his friend has been married three times so my dad has been his divorce lawyer twice and his best man three times i love serial grooms brides i have an uncle who has been married so many times five that his own parents didn't even travel to his last two weddings grandma i'm so excited to see you at pete's wedding sorry kid i've got a bowling tournament that weekend and i've seen him get married plenty of times my now ex-stepmother was getting an 80-stroke 20 settlement and refused to agree until the agreement was revised include a bag of old beer can coozies and a dry rotted pool float she was crazy which is why dad was paying her to go away i'm not a lawyer but this is a story about my uncle and it's quite brilliant my uncle has been a lifelong videographer and still works to this day as a news photographer during the early to late 90s he stopped shooting news and started shooting freelance this was before everyone and their mum and their moms had a camera editing software whatnot eventually he became a sought-after photographer in the 80s when he was working as a news photographer he met and married a reporter news anchor of which he would go on to have two children with after leaving the news business to freelance he decided to start a video editing business with his wife that went extremely well for a while and they were making money hand over fist he would be asked to shoot four channels such as food network and hgtv diy etc and then edit it into the show she would work as the middle woman for his clients and as bookkeeper eventually she would turn out to be a secret substance abuser and adulterer and their marriage ended in divorce at this point my uncle was making a couple 100k a year with their business she decided to sue him for adam any mostly because he was worth a good chunk of change but also because she helped him build his business her demands were ridiculous something like 75 of the business for the next so many years or something crazy my uncle's lawyer was afraid she was going to win because she had played such a big role in building the biz fast forward to court day her lawyer stands in front of the judge and lists off what she wants in the divorce once he is finished it's my uncle's turn he blindsides her and offers to give her 100 of the business the judge and both lawyers are confused and ask him if he is sure without him shooting and editing there is no business so basically she would be left with a heck of a lot less than she asking for by asking for x amount of profits the judge reasoned that his offer was fair and that she could take it or leave it she was p her lawyer was p and she ended up getting nothing tl dr my uncle started a biz with his wife she turned into a cheating drug addict divorce she wanted x percent of profits from bit and divorce he offers her the entire business total awesome dong move he is a photographer so she can't do crap with biz because she isn't a photographer she gets nothing your uncle is a genius i love to read stories like this i was in a mediation where it took the couple an hour and a half to split their personal property retirement accounts real property and custody of their six-month-old son the rest of the day about four hours was spent arguing about how to split the time with the dog for the kid they just put as agreed upon by the parties but the dog had a strict calendar schedule working out holidays and strict pickup drop-off times i was ashamed to be a part of that unbelievable display my parents stayed together for years because they couldn't agree on who got the dog when they divorced they announced to my brother and i that they were divorcing the day we had to put the dog down my friend's ex-husband tried to force their daughter to have to choose which parent she would live with every year on her birthday the daughter wanted to live with mom dad is always out of town for work anyway the judge told him that in no way was he going to force this girl to disappoint one of her parents every year on her birthday her ex-husband is a dong not a lawyer but i work in a law office we had a guy who cheated on his wife transfer all of his money slowly over time to his girlfriend before the wife found out about their affair and file for bankruptcy to avoid having to give his now ex-wife anything in the divorce that dissipation of marital assets in the court would have ordered it returned also bankruptcy judge has no authority over division of marital assets child support etc not a divorce attorney but i clerked for a judge that handled divorce cases we had a couple that were both lieutenant colonels in the air force they had one daughter that was about 11 or 12 both had gradual degrees and were generally intelligent people while the husband had an affair and things went sour with the relationship the daughter was at that age when her relationship with the mother was starting to get a little strained and she mentioned how she wanted to stick with her dad because he was about to be stationed elsewhere and the parents would be going there separate ways the mother absolutely freaked the first thing she did was go to the local police department and claim the father had been molesting and raping the daughter they investigated and couldn't find any evidence so they dropped the case the mother still furious then goes to the air force office of special investigations and reports the same thing the air force then suspends the husband from duty and conducts their own investigation same result no evidence of wrongdoing and the case is dropped the mother then goes to the next state over where the husband is about to be transferred and contacts the local police there with the same story about molestation and rape they of course do their own investigation but same result cases dropped of course this whole time the daughter has been interviewed a dozen times by psychologists various therapists the police the air force and who knows else the daughter is straight up traumatized by this people constantly asking her if her dad had been touching her raping her and so forth not to mention the harm it did to her father's career he was basically screwed from any possible promotion just because of the allegations as well as the fact that infidelity in the military is a big no-no but that was his own doing well once word of all this gets back to the judge he is furious he's a former air force jag and still has contacts in the ranks well anyway the couple comes in front of him one day for a hearing and he outright tells her she better stop this behavior or he is going to hold her in contempt of court for the maximum amount of time he can lawfully hold her in a cell contact the door and recommend the filing of charges contact her air force superiors and recommend reprimand to the fullest extent possible and basically anything and everything he can do within his power it was one of the most messed up things i've seen during my relatively short experience in the legal world surely she belongs in jail for such repeated extreme slander when my parents got divorced my dad had written in the divorce decree that my mother could not make any religious decisions for me including regular church attendance baptisms etc my mother was raised mormon and my father was pretty adamant that i would not be raised in that religion too as a lawyer who did a stint in high asset divorce law this is pretty standard i've written this clause into settlement agreements a lot a father and his friend go to pick up his child for some time together he rings the buzzer of the apartment no reply he phones too no answer this is odd because he is there at the scheduled time and the mother never misses an opportunity to claim that he doesn't care about spending time with his child and that he routinely misses scheduled times together the father and the friend figure that's odd let's walk around back to the parking lot to see if her car is still here they go around to the back to find the mother and child sneaking down the back stairs to leave the building the child sees the father yells hi daddy then turns to his mother and says see i told you dad was coming to see me today i was a clerk for a family court judge we had a woman try to get an injunction to keep the father from taking the daughter on a trip to disney world to play in a concert it was sad this is a true story and it happened in new jersey guy getting a divorce becomes suspicious and insanely jealous that his separated wife is having an affair he secretly follows her to a bar and waits outside in his car she comes out many hours later in the dark and follows another car to her house husband follows her staying back and parks down the block he gets out sees the house her car is parked at and goes around into the backyard he's sneaking around looking in windows and finally opens a sliding glass door and enters the house his wife and the guy she is with hear him moving around lock the bedroom door and call nine one one he starts pounding on the bedroom door and shouting at his wife and then the cops kick in the front door the cops get everyone downstairs to sort this out that is when the guy realized for the first time his wife was sleeping with his own divorce lawyer the lawyer got in lots of trouble definitely one of the most entertaining ethical board decisions of all time one of my uncle's ex-wives actually hired a hitman to kill my uncle so she could collect his life insurance the hitman was actually an undercover cop she did four years for the crime if this gets any response i'll tell a more in-depth version of the story some crazy crap happened in all honesty i've never heard of a hitman hired in the last 30 years that wasn't an undercover cop or an informant or a con that turned the client in maybe i haven't looked hard enough but you'd think that the legitimate hitman market would be hit pretty hard from the trend of police in their ranks not a divorce lawyer but my sister just went through a nasty divorce it sounds like a movie you would see on lifetime they split up after 28 years of marriage because he fell in love with a lesbian stripper half his age he emptied their savings and borrowed against their 401k so the lesbian could start her own lesbian bar which was bankrupt after six months there are many more sordid details which i'll go into if anyone is interested first of all by now ex-brother-in-law is the least likely guy to do something like this imagine mr cleaver from leave it to beaver cheating on mrs cleaver totally unexpected my sister found text messages on his phone the lesbian in question already had two children yes i know not a very good lesbian and was pregnant at the time she met my bro in law the lesbian would show up at his work approximately once a week and get a check even though she was not employed there he bought her a car and rented a house for her for a year paid in advance even when all of this came out my sister wanted to reconcile at the first counseling session he gets up after 15 minutes and says something like nope not gonna happen and leaves so her divorce lawyer requests financial documents from his business to decide aluminium child support i forgot to mention they have four children together the youngest of which is in college right now anyway he didn't want to release any of the financial documents pertaining to this business so my sis says fine i get the house and car and you get all the debt he agreed to that which makes me want to know what he's trying to hide by not releasing the documents anyway the divorce was just finalized and my sister is devastated this is the only man she's ever been with they met in college and now 28 years later nothing the worst part is if he asked her i wouldn't be surprised if she took him back i would lose all respect for her and do my best to talk her out of it it was a real shock i know the divorce is common but not in my family mum and dad were married 49 years before mom passed and none of my numerous siblings went through a divorce big scandal more sordid details are required to accompany my morning coffee while i pretend to work i'm late to the party but here goes there's this rich couple that are suing a company for something or other a guy on the jury is hanging out with a friend one afternoon and his buddy starts telling him about this cougar he's banging supposedly she is a giant controlling bee but she spends a lot of her husband's money on him so he puts up with it part way through the convo he drops her first name and the jury dude goes wait is her name friend replies yeah do you know her turns out it's the rich lady from the case he is on the next day he had to recuse himself from the case because he couldn't look at her the same way the couple's lawyer demanded an explanation as to why he was dropping out in the middle of everything so he had to tell the judge the lawyer the lady and her husband awkward anyways that case was put on hold for a long time because they had a divorce to get to oh and i've been a piece of crap lurker for like a year and a half and this is my first post so yay my parents had an amicable divorce agreed fully that joint custody was the best option for my brothers and i and spent 18 years living near each other so my brothers and i would not have any issues traveling between they treated each other with respect and respected each other's rules if i was grounded at mom's house i was grounded at dad's house too her house her rules and you will respect them was dad's response one time when i was complaining about how unfair life was they never spoke critically of the other in our presence never attempted to use or indoctrinate us against the other they were flexible with custody times for vacations and whatnot and even jointly cooperated on major life celebrations such as graduation parties and my brother's wedding all of which to say the least is apparently absolutely crazy behavior for divorced people also i probably don't appreciate my parents enough my two favorites from working in a legal office one husband and wife get divorced wife went into the marriage with her own house and three cars him with nothing she mortgaged the house in her name as the bank wouldn't give her anything if his name was on it too to let husband start a trucking business buys all his trucks for him and pays off the mortgage herself he becomes successful they divorce she just wants enough money from him to square her mortgage he can have the business and everything else he sells everything to his friend for ten dollars next to nothing so that he's got nothing on his name and doesn't have to pay her squat she's now going to lose the house too custody battle over two children father threatened the mother with a shotgun cut her phone lines got charged for assault on her she flees town with the children he demands she come back and she agrees to visitation so the kids can see their father during one visitation he punches her brother in the face at the changeover point and tries to steal the children visitation stops and he chucks a fitter she's stealing his children and she's lying about being afraid of me i did nothing the court psychologist signs off that he'd be an emotionally abusive soul parent when the court says no to his demands that he gets soul custody he verbally abuses the judge his lawyer his barrister the psychologist and the independent children's lawyer in front of the entire courtroom he narrowly avoids arrest and the whole time this case is going he's always yelling and screaming in the office that the court system is biased and only women get custody it's a mummy's court you're all sexist against men etc etc no you're just a douche three man his wife and three kids everything in his name finds a younger model dumps her by text message changes the locks and goes into hiding wife has a chronic illness that means she can't work and now she's stuck with three kids and to robert and he's changed all the bills and payments to her name mother's address and mailed her nearly ten thousand dollars worth of accounts and no one can find him he sells everything to his friend for ten dollars so that he's got nothing on his name and doesn't have to pay her squat i don't know what the law is like where you are from but that really doesn't work anywhere that i know such a sale would be voidable on multiple grounds undervalued transaction and transaction to defeat creditors being the big ones let's see one i've had a client come in to file divorce only to realize that the other party already obtained a divorce he lied and never properly served her and she defaulted had to under that one two put three fathers in jail for contempt they had a sudden case of raids recently acquired income deficiency syndrome and refused to pay support to their dependent spouses and or minor children three had a guy completely sandpaper key the finish of a brand new maserati that was given to the wife pursuance to settlement agreement because he hated his ex so much also took off the tyres four had a guy who funneled money over to his girlfriend thinking he was slick hiding it from his wife girlfriend broke up with him and kept it five have a guy who got a half million dollar settlement and so he pre-paid all of his expenses up front for several years so he wouldn't have to pay up six had a guy put all of his properties in the name of business partners so as to put it beyond the court's reach and thus the wife's reach had another guy claim he was unemployed but moved his paychecks to a friend's bank account seven had to get x party orders to inventory safes when i knew people had cash-based businesses and injunctions to freeze bank accounts so forth sometimes by the time we got it it was too late and money was removed eight absentee dads sorry to be gender-specific suddenly become fathers of the year now he attends parent-teacher conferences now he goes to doctors visits and soccer practices never gave a dang before date of filing nine men with midlife crises spending tons of cash on the girlfriend vacations jewelry etc yet cries poverty when it comes to aluminium long term marriages where the wife was a stay at home for the past 35 years 10 one guy faked a divorce decree from another country to avoid paying eliminate 11 guy was adamant to the point of tears that he never had sex with that woman took dna test was the father 12 people wanting extra visitation just so they can get a reduction in child support then once the case is concluded they leave the children with a nanny even though the other spouse is home and willing to care for the kids 13. had a guy stage a break-in at my client's home stole her personal computer and other relics then presents us with photo evidence he obtained from the computer about our clients infidelity i have seen it all really had a guy who funneled money over to his girlfriend thinking he was slick hiding it from his wife girlfriend broke up with him and kept it loved that one im not a lawyer but my parents divorced when i was 17 and it didn't finalize until i was 20. when i was a minor my mom was saying i was living in another country with her when it was clear through school records i was not out of the country she made up stories that my dad abused me and didn't feed me when in two months of living with my dad i had a much better life than sixteen horrible years with her after i turned eight turned eight turned eight turned eight and they turned eight and they turned eight and they turned eight and they turned eight and they turned they turned eight and they turned they turned eight turned eighteen well yeah once you're 18 it's a doll napping everyone knows that my ex-husband and i got divorced after four years we had no kids we were still dirt poor so we went to a divorce center paid a couple hundred bucks and did it ourselves we are still friendly three years later people we know genuinely think our friendly divorce is one of the weirdest divorces they have ever seen i know i'm late but this story is too good when i was young my parents had milk delivered to the house each week it was a good deal the milk was from a local coop and the delivery roots were privately owned the owner of our route was got divorced and told us the story of his mediation she and her lawyer had calculated the value of his milk delivery business to be two dollars and fifty cents million mind you this was the mid 80s she of course is seeking half that amount his lawyer begins to book that their estimate is unfair it was probably legitimate when you calculated assets inventory balance lack of debit and revenue and they would never agree to it but he is cut short by his client our milkman then looks across the table and says something to the effect of i agree to your estimation go ahead and cut me a check everybody shows up at six you'll have to be there by five to have everything ready for them he then tosses the work keys across the table as he sits back down they eventually agreed upon a more reasonable number frick yeah chicken milk my favorite i've worked on precisely two divorces they were both awful the first was just a terrible abusive situation sadly too common and not a good source for stories the second though was a mid-forties dink situation upper middle class engineers nobody was gonna go hungry at the end of it of course we presume that it'd be a quick painless negotiation nobody told us the husband was a raging alcoholic with no social skills nobody told us that the wife was very attached to the dog we divided up the house all possessions the bank accounts everything in under a week except for possession of the dog she was convinced he'd put the dog down he kept saying it was man's best friend not woman's this case got slated for trial over who got the dog i mean that's downright extraordinary that a divorce goes to trial at all is weird that it goes to trial with no kids is weirder that it goes to trial where both people are financially stable and well-off is like comed hitting you unlikely that it goes to trial solely over the possession of a dog is so far as i can tell from talking to other attorneys unheard of so pre-trial conference and the judge is richard that any of this is going on he orders a final attempt at mediation to begin after lunch the husband sneaks away from his attorney to have a dick with lunch and comes back absolutely trashed starts yelling about how he's going to go home and kill the dog to deny her it tries to jump over the table assault to bailiff runs out through an incession court with the presiding judge on the bench i never did find out how that one ended as my internship ended before the case did but i always remember it as the moment i decided that i didn't want to do family law but fortunately for me my current boss doesn't take those cases whatsoever i had a batchit crazy client once involved in a dissolution of domestic partnership not married but had been together 20 years she had an insane amount of stories about the opposing party drug dealer he had killed a man and all sorts of other wild accusations no idea what was reality versus what she made up they had millions between them and were fighting over every last native american artifact household item etc at one point she offered me gold nuggets as a gift because she liked me so much which i had to ethically refuse as a non-dame enemies gift from a current client i eventually got off the case when i changed jobs i think it's currently under appeal now so i can't give any further detail but there was some pretty crazy stuff involved in this case including accusations that the opposing party was sleeping with his attorney which shockingly had some basis in reality when investigated but i got off the case right around then when my parents got divorced my mom told my dad she only wanted me and not my brother and sister dad laughed and said she should try that in court and see how the judge takes her only wanting one child while abandoning the others my dad got full custody she also stole all of the money from their shared account and left us for like two years while my dad had to beg and borrow money to feed us and pay bills after she drained the account she didn't even show up for the hearing and the judge even asked if my dad wanted child support which he declined assuming collecting it from her would be more hassle than it was worth my mom is a crappy human being 16 years later and she hasn't changed a bit i work with a woman who is a devout christian she met some guy from nigeria online and fell in love he was working as a christian missionary in singapore she flew to singapore they got married and she helped him get us citizenship etc eventually she got pregnant and they had a daughter together as soon as the girl was born the father began getting her a passport and money together to take her to africa so she could get circumcised he eventually copped to marrying her solely to obtain us citizenship she divorced him and was able to limit his supervised visitations to one hour per week due to his insistence on taking her to africa to get the procedure done he's still adamant to this day that his now four-year-old daughter should have her clitoris clipped i worked in divorce law for a bit more than a year and then got the frick out some highlights of what i've seen guy cheats on wife with wife's best friend wife steals 6 million dollars from his bank account and disappears guy gets multi-million dollar inheritance during divorce he spends it all on strippers literally the whole thing couple has over five million dollars in assets spend over three years getting divorced couple has liquidated retirement and sold their house still not divorced lawyers have millions of dollars this is largely the reason i'm done with this crap ethically i can see why you are done but financially it was a terrible move based off bullet point three a couple of years ago my parents got a divorce they're both very friendly people and they were always very cordial throughout the entire divorce process in the end the only thing they ever seriously argued over was who got to keep my pet rock from when i was in elementary school they still argue over it to this day that's really sweet actually i'm not a lawyer but i am in the process of getting a divorce it's been quite messy and that's without kids being involved about two years ago my wife was cheating on me did not know until she filed for divorce she actually does not even know that i know still anyways march of last year she filed for divorce we had been separated since april of 2012 for work reasons we talked every day saw each other on skype and even visited each other on vacations twice in a 10 month period for 17 days each time overseas contract work nice pay but time apart the plan was to save up for two or three years and then buy another house and move into that anyways after she filed i tried to kill myself a few times did not eat any food for over a month i was so stressed that if i tried to eat i stupid eventually throw it up i could not keep food down for more than an hour or two it seemed just water and the occasional binge drinking we had all of our personal belongings in a storage unit we were living in a 2400 square foot house it was full we also had a few bank accounts now i won't give an exact number but we had six figures saved up low six figures but six during the divorce process everything was fine aside from me wishing i was dead i had devoted nearly seven years to her for nothing we were coming to an agreement on who got what from our storage unit and how much money each of us would get from the bank accounts plus the division of the vehicles it was looking pretty fair she was getting a lot more than i was because i just wanted it done so i was pretty much letting her pick out what she wanted this was prior to court involvement i had not even consulted an attorney myself even though she had one then just before we reached a deal in july of last year she went nuts it was the third of july while i was away at my family cabin she drained all of the bank accounts every single penny was gone she went to the storage unit and cleared all of the belongings out even my personal things like clothing pictures my important documents medical records everything i owned and had accumulated during my 28 years of life except for a bed a desk and my computer with a few changes of clothes she said i don't deserve anything since i want to be dead anyway and just took off had no idea it happened either until i got back from my cabin it's still ongoing we had caught last month it was hilarious i hired a lawyer after she drained everything she was breaking her own agreement no assets were to be moved during divorce proceedings my lawyer said he has never even heard of someone trying to disperse the amount of money she did even with millionaire clients i'm on the phone so i can't do too much for details but that's what i got for now i'm not a divorce lawyer but my dad is a lawyer and he's divorced so wth my dad was a real gem when he divorced my mom he had my mom served while my sister was in the hospital with neuroblastoma she had meditation and chemo and was in isolation because she had no immune system to speak of the process server had to go to the children's hospital go to the cancer ward and break my sister's isolation seal to serve my mom the papers the nurses had to escort him out also it was christmas eve and my mom's car was stolen that night after she had just moved out of his house and had it filled with all our stuff and christmas presents this one is so horrible i just don't believe it if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 131,977

Rating: 4.8788533 out of 5

Keywords: divorce lawyers give advice, divorce lawyer day in the life, divorce lawyer, lawyers, lawyer stories, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh, reddit stories 2021

Id: BBGXAbIOXvM

Length: 33min 15sec (1995 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 03 2021