COUNTER LEGENDS: GLOBAL OHIO | Valorant

shut up darkness if badger doesn't get a melee kill I will literally spawn camp valor it's a game that is 80% counter-strike 20% league and a hundred percent more fun when you spawn rush first off this is not a review or a comprehensive guide so watching this video expecting either of those things it's gonna make it sound like yes the floor here is made out of floor and even though I called it a sweat swamp hyper trash garbage parade in a jokey tweet I'm not here to piss all over it because apart from some casual cyberbullying I usually prefer channeling my energy in a positive way glass your nots broken on my bowling team I'll offer you some background perspective in this loosey-goosey monologue [ __ ] post I am hyper casual FPS water trash that prioritizes fun and silliness over everything a little bit hell yeah cash money I've got a grand total of 69 hours and a whopping one video on counter-strike haven't touched it since September 2016 are you acting like I play csgo bro you better see us video like four years ago shut the [ __ ] yea orsa go legal legends I've got a couple of hundred hours in primarily back in 2013 where I main Tryndamere graves and a wizard lizard named Renekton so I'm no dyrus but I know a [ __ ] six boots buying mundo when I see welcome to mundo shoes huge battlefield fan and my most played recent game is Rainbow six so I'm used to casual babby aiming systems and my own lease rank is decent reflexes which when paired with my sloppy aim is barely even a strength or a DAT touch come out and talk my god that scared me and a repeat i prioritize fun over everything which is why i usually have a gaggle of my buddies gas in my shut up on discord or screaming at something in the distance like cheering on healthcare workers in new york city par for the course everybody in New York is about to start cheering 30 minutes oh yeah for the hospital workers I just slammed my skateboard and they decide about building I want to hear you skateboard break being for the doctors Wow so it should be no surprise that my call-outs are ass and are basically banned in my chest anybody makes a single call out I swear to God Oh God I've never had anybody come from the right side what the [ __ ] making college destroyed do you gotta say be long or belong or see you longer clunk which I'm gonna start saying clong alright clung it is it finally I felt inclined to make this video because so few people have access to the closed beta right now I luckily got access from an insider business buddy shoutout to Chevy but if you're not a young Klout god streamer girl the only way to get access is via drops on Twitch we're viewing certain streamers will randomly reward certain viewers with a beta key feel awesome girl streams open right now if this doesn't work from a beam and this limited access to the game gave me even more motivation to make this video to offer a no-brain [ __ ] monkey man perspective among a sea of sweat swamp trihard streamer I'm gonna press X and then just go oh god oh god people [ __ ] now with all that casual background in mind to compare how similar you are to me if somebody put an FN five-seven with a 20 round magazine to my dome and said describe their average in five words relax counter-strike League of Legends it is straight up 80% counter-strike and I say that in a cold neutral way no matter if you love Valerie nor hate valor in trying to argue that the game isn't counter-strike at its core is indefensible let's think about a Counter Strike some league players I can feel it you're an actual god you are a god among men when I say a K you say vandal a K Bandol a cave and all I'm just repeating it to myself because I'm a huge [ __ ] loser chilli every weapon in the ballot line-up is cloned from counter-strike classic as p2k frenzy a cz 75 ghost his USP sheriff is deagle fan of his m4 Marshall a scout and on and on and on they even called their dominant sniper rifle the operator so you can still call it an on let me use the aapki ax I'm about to show you what the [ __ ] is good I've had enough oh I'm nuts I got one right here watch this spray this isn't an indictment of valor it being unoriginal and cloning the weapons from counter-strike because to me original does not equal good look at lawbreakers and anthem and unoriginal does not equal bad war zone has very little originality but it's a [ __ ] blast I'm simply letting you know what kind of Arsenal to expect and I'm glad to say there's something for everyone whether you're a die-hard AR fan or a laser accurate LMG user my favorite okay every thought patterns got her skilled skill what you buy yourself a gun you've either got to plant the spike at one of two bomb sites as an attacker or prevent such explosions as the defender just like terrorists and counter-terrorists plenty of [ __ ] is gonna get blown to bits planting the spike hell yeah yes yeah like kill me yes I got this good thing I had kid I don't have kid kid doesn't exist please in my first few rounds holy [ __ ] did it ever feel like counter-strike from running through smoke being a bad idea I'm running right through this [ __ ] smoke I'm scared no idea there was a freight train on the other side of that smoke or that's so good [ __ ] I ain't scared well yes but you are [ __ ] dead I'm going because you get murked on the other side my inner monologue was saying this time is different than my inner monologue and till the crippling movement penalty that makes it impossible to escape while being shot oh god that's a long distance [ __ ] [ __ ] you can't run away it does damage and then you're me caps just suddenly stopped working and you like sir crap crawling away yeah turns out it's hard to run without a kneecap all the way to the bass boosted footsteps while running and whisper quiet footsteps while walking very very CS angry boys like everyone's walking to Minecraft saying true don't even try to tell me that you don't love when regular memes become minecraft means when people make eating sense those are hilarious completely silent born completely you see I'm do I'm doing it now I'm doing it now I'm sounding like yes the floor here is made of floor I'll stop I promise the point is game is very csgo II and if you suck at recoil patterns and movement and accuracy in that game this game will be just as awkward oh that's like oh god wait freeze I can't even say over the bigger [ __ ] is what sets valent apart is the 20% derived from League of Legends with unique agents packing three special abilities you can buy and an ultimate rocket launcher and a competitive tactical shooter sod my ass up brother let's go shoot you [ __ ] yes the shooter oh my god another raze god dammit damn that race actually just said you can't what you [ __ ] desert but not every agent is a [ __ ] [ __ ] buck designed a cheese I play jet the white haired Asian lady that can smoke - super jump and stab you several times no action oh yeah man did the abilities ever shake [ __ ] up I still feel that CS gunplay is the core but the various spells you can throw at somebody definitely add some spice and had me shook the first few ramp she took your map away bro just come down you have to shoot it poke with a knife that's a flashbang right challengers yes sir nice like you do Oh Molly oh that's you she's coming in oh yeah abilities I was forget to use my abilities buy your skills you [ __ ] know I'm not gonna pretend that I'm masterful at the abilities of the game because in reality I'm a raised spamming piece of [ __ ] that should probably be youth and I and the valor and community is like raises Opie and the betters like don't mind if I eat worst I mean jello best timing gel a holy [ __ ] what's that I can't hear you over the sound of ins Allahu raise every round oh hell yeah brother alright back blast clear catch that one sage catch that one oh god spot it spot that [ __ ] [ __ ] even a [ __ ] like me you can see that momentum especially when it comes to the alt mechanic is something special and feels oddly similar to being farmed or fed in Li because you can't just buy your alts you have to earn your alts by risking death to get orbs and contested locations planting the spike or getting kills you can shade an important play like a headshot into your old and really swing the odds in your favor ease no ah please no ah please don't while please watch that was lucky but I still got my own yes yes here it comes [ __ ] like that happens it is 100% that feeling of now this is progress just imagine how much a round can change when someone likes saves uses her alts to revive somebody oh I got [ __ ] revive it's time to rescue this round table keep it a buck never revive my dog ass again so from a gameplay perspective I find the agents terrific but from a character perspective they're awful I find them plain uninspiring hit like they've all been ripped from other games it was Doomer it was purple Doomer we got a female kostik damn they really do be out here putting British Michael B Jordan in a video game how much do I have to pay for him to call me brother and that's one of those common gripes that I hear when someone is pissing on Valerie if they hate the cartoony art style this reminiscent of Unreal Engine where every female is a dummy thick a cup because big titties aren't politically correct and every dude is chiseled and low fear a hooded cloak monster hey holy McMahon I just don't understand the imagery of this aggressively Asian woman in this flowy ass aggressively Asian dress aggressive with a [ __ ] m4 just in the cut there with the damn thing what do you mean optically it just doesn't make sense it just doesn't make sense to me personally I don't give a [ __ ] because modern games especi FPS games all visually look pretty good and the core gameplay loop being fun is the most important part I don't stop playing games because the art style is a little goofy but I will stop playing games that aren't [ __ ] fun silly graphics I don't care yes you know press delicious I care about one thing what's that results good chicken fries and shitty chicken nuggets like I don't understand if anything the fantastical theme gives riot a gigantic ceiling for creativity most at school FPS games have to be at least loosely anchored a modern warfare whereas the Valerie devs can just shove a bunch of wizard lizard magic [ __ ] in the game like a teleporter no telling what this is it brings you to a what the [ __ ] on that topic the desert map was the only good one the one with three bomb sites needs to be deleted because I can't spawn rush with a shotgun here this map is [ __ ] terrible please in my suffering site seems a little cringed and a baby you know I really [ __ ] what bro I'm just talking IV I'm using the English once ever say no name baby to me a big big big one that I've got a hit on is that I had a radically different experience playing solo versus playing in a 5 stack because when I was alone I found myself fragging out and was having a blast had a really good game so I'm sure I'm gonna get [ __ ] [ __ ] stumped this one I can hear one for sure for sure double kill oh you're a god dude what do you mean dog I come from siege I have like casual babby aiming physics he's there all I was saying is you're [ __ ] you're goaded you're cracked buddy whatever the fortnight kids say I don't know [ __ ] you we ball we've all know once you gotta get like where the bullets go it's much easier yes by CS it's free-to-play I'm [ __ ] [ __ ] to go into a CS game and just tell people once you learn where the bullets go it's really easy and they'll all [ __ ] murder you put in a five stack of my buddies that are all avid counter-strike players with high win rates it was a completely different story my purchases I plan I want to be proud he knew he was gonna die - duckling so he literally just so not sure of their skill based matchmaking or a certain way of pairing teams with multiple party members but any time I'm not playing solo it felt like I was going against the most cracked CS veterans on planet earth that were basically born controlling aka recoil let's do this [ __ ] other Asian lady oh my god that Miko guys got some really really good aiming skill he's like what's the nicest thing I think I've ever heard a streamer say that's not me being better that's me being impressed by how skilled some of these one tapping CS veterans are once they get a naked a vandal in their hands they're deadlier than Ohio that Ohio meme going around of wait it's all Ohio always has been that's exactly how I feel about Valerie dawg it literally just wait it's all counter-strike always has been and that's the crux of why I can't see myself playing valiant religiously not saying it's trash not saying I hate it just saying that the high skill gun mechanics of recoil control and punishment for shooting while moving is not my cup of tea little peek the dunk she would buy you for curse of the badges I'm clicking on his head three years you're gonna all tab like you know I need a reset yes feature is pretty neat but I still feel like if you're a [ __ ] and counter-strike you're gonna be a [ __ ] in Valerie's on top of that it's built from the ground up as a competitive shooter and I'm a huge fan of stupid goofy random [ __ ] happening which is obviously kept to a minimum in a game so focused on eSports balance so hopefully we got some kind of [ __ ] casual cue for me to [ __ ] around him like if I don't have at least one friend afk and one friend playing Animal Crossing mid round count me out I can hear your girlfriend playing Animal Crossing of the background yeah you need to shut that [ __ ] up I'm not trying to hear about no animal crossing right hey bro this edible a [ __ ] five minutes later Tom looks supports the death penalty yes absolutely Tom Duke hires that you Slayer to make sure that debt is repaid if we don't get a limited time mode where we all run around with deagles and box magazines count me yeah have a plan Arthur I just need of desert eagle fifty Cal the forty round box max and if we don't get a goofy ass map to play on like mother base count me at the next UFC will take place on mother phase that's great engravings give you every tactical advantage boss you killed a child great work is why you're the best colonel he turned himself into a pickle it's the funniest [ __ ] I've ever seen overall lots of fun it's gonna be free-to-play and comes out this summer so I recommend you try it out just to see what exactly you like and don't like it's just not exactly my jam I'm sure I'll play more of it but I'm not gonna start Maine lighting it directly into my veins unless we got some goofy [ __ ] that preferably involves LMGs and shotguns in a 10-man casual rush I check my corners everytime yo I got to stay behind me what did I just say and that is about it yeah thank God its own this feels weird now cuz I usually call out and thank the sponsor of the video at this point in time but there's no sponsor on this video so think what the [ __ ] am i doing like if you're not in it for the money then why the [ __ ] you could use my epic game supporter creator code which is the Russian badger you could sub on twitch or you could tell me to [ __ ] off that's stalled all the above the humble thank you for watching all the way to the end of the video and be sure to tune in next time when I throw a plasma screen TV in the Sun [Music] second-guessing it Grisha now I'm free but now I must freedom comes at a cost [Music]

Channel: TheRussianBadger

Views: 2,773,644

Rating: 4.9453454 out of 5

Keywords: valorant, valorant gameplay, valorant beta, valorant tips, valorant guide, valorant highlights, valorant montage, valorant game, valorant agents, valorant review, valorant characters, valorant trailer, valorant beta gameplay, valorant closed beta, valorant beta key, how to play valorant, valorant funny moments, valorant best moments, valorant funny, valorant moments, valorant clips, counter strike, csgo, valorant abilities, valorant update, valorant new, project a, siege

Id: v8ccO0BzuSc

Length: 19min 30sec (1170 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 23 2020