Comedy Bits Game Grumps compilation part 1 [Funny improv moments]

[Laughter] wow ooh yorm yeah i wish you wouldn't call me that oh i'm not that big that's what uh that's what pirates say when something's delicious [Laughter] welcome back to game grubs [Laughter] is that you can take selfies in this game are you serious yeah you can just like be like yeah and then just take a picture it even has an instagram filter for you that's hysterical i need sepia tones like what's that that boss up there he's like and i'm all [Laughter] now this guy up here oh my god dude it's like oh and i'm all uh okay okay yeah will this guy ever [ __ ] die or do i have to kill the dark nut i think that's what the problem is the iron knuckle or whatever the [ __ ] the iron knuckle yeah that's what they call him an ocarina really yeah sounds like a yeah great job this sounds like a really bad sex move you know you ready for the iron knuckle well place your penis inside an area that the girl is unfamiliar with the penis being in step one step two wiggle your penis in a back and forth motion making sure the back and forth motion stimulates her prostate what she doesn't have a prostate congratulations you're now single that was what you wanted right that's what we're okay step three allow tears to run down your cheek as you remember how humiliated you were as your father beat your naked butt when you did wrong no okay so i was in a good mood because we were uh we were doing this improv exercise where uh we each do wow this is a beautiful level um where each of us uh does one word from a sentence and we complete a sentence oh yeah that way back and forth uh just as you as an example let's do one right now okay uh this away is the way to every heart in america and ethiopia and portugal and my closet that's two words i'm sorry it's one concept i guess i'm sorry i'm concentrating deeply i'm playing yeah yeah mario okay right here in the safe zone uh for good luck quick improv exercise okay ready to go uh i am the person who will rock your soul and blow dicks oh kind of thought you'd go for your mind there but hey hey it's all about the unexpected yeah yeah yeah i'm sorry i thought we were doing improv i thought this was improv yeah i didn't think he works expecting me to ride your coattails of coming up with the full [ __ ] thing at the beginning that one didn't give you good luck at all before we start this exercise i'm going to be talking about killing goats all right okay i like to kill goats dude it's like we share one mind it's amazing improv that was completely improvised before we were improvising it yeah a new record jesus christ all comedy at one point was improvised before it was performed that's a good point that's a good point um all right one last one who was the president of nicaragua when nicaragua was part of a con a country that was cared we should start this over okay who when okay i remember we need you to [ __ ] yeah okay don't ever say one single thing about my dick or i will push my dick into your scrotum oh no it's always the last word that takes in a terrible new direction dan ono was two words oh yeah i'm sorry i thought the game was over [Applause] all right what's what is in here what is this what is this [ __ ] just [ __ ] columns and [ __ ] all these like nasty ass guys like hey steve and he's like hey bob what's up and that guy's like oh no i just just went to the grocery store and picked up some organic peanut butter and go two down to like feel like he's like keep it down don't listen to phil he's an [ __ ] [ __ ] shut up dude where'd you get that organic peanut butter from what's the whole foods no no i just got into ralphs man they have an organic section shut up about the peanut butter wow let's get out of this room okay okay okay welcome to google take your art please yeah um i'd like a large fry fry uh i'd like a coca-cola coca-cola yeah and uh a number one with no cheese uh could you repeat that back to me uh pickles what uh pickles or uh caramel sauce uh two chocolate wires and a washer a washer it's not at all what i ordered thank you director no [Laughter] that'll be 13.99 no i didn't no i didn't agree to that at all all right fine i did it's easy easy easy as pie okay easy as making pie in a bakery you've now fallen off that same plank of wood in the two possible directions that it can be done i really wish i worked in a bakery when i was younger myself i could be like oh yeah when i worked in the bakery you know and people are like oh wow really and then it's like yeah you know i had i had the regular lady that came in you know mrs mcqueen she'd come in she'd be like oh can i have my loaf of bread that i get every week i'm like of course the usual and she's like yeah like i want that [Laughter] you know what i mean i mean i guess i do you just lie about it no one's gonna run a background check on you and be like yo man you never worked that bakery oh sweet well dan i want to tell you the story about when i lived at a bakery okay um i worked at a bakery i mean i didn't live in a bakery right um so anyway uh there was like this regular and her name was mrs mccree [Music] she always came in and she'd be like what can i have the loaf of bread and i was like yeah the usual and wow yeah what a crazy story thanks man even a good story if you're gonna [ __ ] make [ __ ] up from scratch like you might as well oh [ __ ] she's aaron god damn it she just vaporizes oh boy i'll this time i'll get it will you yeah okay but this time i'm gonna tell you a story about when i worked at a butcher's shop um true story a butchery as we called it in the butcher business um his the guy who ran it his name was frederick uh he was from germany yep and he had three toes because he was so bad when he was a kid at butchering yep that he cut off his own toes three-toed fred he told fred the butcher i didn't call him that but you can yep i i actually had a lot of respect for him so i would never give him such a disrespectful nickname uh-huh as that but anyway go on with my story yes you're not your stupid interjections um although i'm sorry i said that but uh so anyway uh i was a butcher's apprentice um apprentice of frederick and uh he taught me how to cut meats okay and uh well one time i cut up like a a beef round steak off of a off of a cow and then frederick said hey man that was good that you did and then [Laughter] and then i got fired why because he was lying he was lying about being german you know i never oh my i'm going to kill you this this episode has been nothing but you falling off of the same two bees i'm losing my mind right now you didn't let me finish my story yeah that's what the problem was you couldn't concentrate um anyway i went home after i got fired oh yeah i was thinking of uh i was thinking of making a podcast for all of my crazy stories they were amazing of course it would be a six minute podcast because those stories are done neither of which ever happened so i guess there's really an unlimited amount of stories that you could tell no there's a good one i went to mcdonald's and i ordered um a burger with no ketchup and uh and so i ordered it and i didn't check it before i left and then when i left and i was halfway down the street i noticed that there was ketchup and i i turned my car around and i waited in the drive-thru line there was like three cars and i went up to the thing and i said hey lady there's no i asked for no ketchup and there's ketchup on this burger and she said oh i'm sorry and then i looked down at the burger and there wasn't [ __ ] ketchup i was wrong whoa so i i made this lady make me another bit and i and i and i i wanted to be honest about it i wanted to say like hey i [ __ ] up i waited in this line and i i thought there wasn't there was ketchup on this but there wasn't and i'm an idiot and you don't have to give me that burger but i didn't i just took it oh my god aaron yeah how do you [ __ ] sleep at night i don't know dude oh there there you go [Music] slimy [ __ ] maggot man oh and now he's going okay just like that um please be careful so rate my story uh out of a possible zero really no you know what that was a good story did that actually happen yes hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey there hey hey hey hey aaron you just looked up what we should do so why don't you tell that to me all right uh go use your bird all right call your bird i'm gonna get you all three medallions in this episode oh my god really yeah all three of them here we go [Music] the bird's like [ __ ] you gotta be quicker than that [ __ ] [Laughter] does he just not come after three all right it's just like you know what [ __ ] you he like keeps like going up into the sky and circling around like oh go to five okay i am so [ __ ] done okay all right all right all right so done here we go did i tell you about that new character my friends that i created which is a son that doesn't realize that his father is about to kill him it's like papa why have you brought the hammer will we be doing carpentry today father i [ __ ] love that character damn it i screwed it up it doesn't last very long no wow wow [ __ ] you really have to nail it um that could be an snl character if his incompetence also gets him out of all the murders yeah if he's like a mr magu type yeah figure nobody's like here let me grab the wood and then it like falls on his dad's head he's like oh father yeah totally oh no i must bring you to the hospital excuse me hmm go through the door it's my dad it's my dad there's lots of dads here [Laughter] why have you brought the axe papa will we be chopping wood today [Laughter] those hedge clippers are awfully large do we have a bush that large yes will i be receiving a haircut father you'll be getting a close one oh that's great my first shave my long hairs were getting quite irritable papa why have you brought the rifle will we be going fox hunting today father if your name is fox yeah we'll be hunting the most dangerous game son this is cool i like this run yeah papa where shall i run to why are you covering me with meat father am i to carry it insulted for you oh dang i shouldn't have jumped why are we buying two plane tickets to go to trinidad and tobago but only one plane ticket to return will you be having an extended there's a bunch of big bombs in the audience are they like bo bombs i do not know yeah yeah they're like watching all right here we go story time aaron oh um sorry i appreciate it damon gave me an ice cream cone three years ago i never forgot that day because it had sprinkles and he called them jimmy's which i thought was weird uh but to him it wasn't because he was from new england and in new england people sometimes call them jimmy's i knew a guy named jimmy who got it thank you that's a good story thanks man it went places yeah you know stuff happened in it um met a guy named jimmy there you go bullet just like the the crazy the crazy hobo ghost what the hell is happening here messes with people for fun i bit off i suddenly bit off way more than i can chew with this well it's probably ghosts dude oh that's just all of them oh really at least they missed too holy [ __ ] this would have been a good time to appeal oh that's not good oh boy oh quake can't miss right i don't think so let me try that yeah use a super quick tremor yeah all right you're gonna have to tell a story though okay uh one day uh my dad was walking down the street and he said to a guy who was selling slushies on the road i want one slushie purple please the guy said we don't sell purple slushies we sell only red and blue and then my dad said why don't you just combine them to make a purple one and he said because the blue one is the taste of diarrhea so you have strawberry diarrhea flavor i'm so sorry to cut you off there i was really invested in that you did it oh that was really good [ __ ] yeah really good okay yeah use the quake i think i should just keep using this jam until uh yeah it's it's so effective okay uh larry's older brother cindy was unfortunately named after a girl he didn't mind though because he thought cindy was a pretty name or whenever he tell people that they'd say oh what a pretty name cindy is then one day he met a cindy who was a total [ __ ] the end wow aaron you are helping me crush this [ __ ] um yes yeah killed him awesome um special let me try tremor good and i'll give you a chance it's all star um mario story jonathan a kid i went to school with was an excellent runner but one day he tripped and broke his ankle he couldn't run for a long time when he was in bed he read all kinds of books about running and was like these [ __ ] books are boring [ __ ] i'd rather just be running and then he got better and started running ah the end let's see if that does anything it doesn't it doesn't seem to be doing much all right fuzzy beetle yeah i know maybe oh you have a quick item i want to use my items why not because i'm gonna have to fight a thousand of these things probably oh i doubt it yo girl you want some of my jam and jelly you know how about my gradual syrup [Laughter] [ __ ] it i'll just use my thing no don't touch that that's my booze sheet she's gonna kill me okay story time i love my boo oh um okay uh several times a month i will go to cvs and i will drop off my prescription when i return they will have two prescriptions filled one for my b hole and one for my people these are both problems that i share hence p hole and they are dang it no you never know the end of it i i must know what's going on with that pee hole situation okay got him okay uh it's good though because i couldn't think of how to finish it oh man that's amazing i would have never guessed [Laughter] it seemed like it was going such places well i mean you know i would have thought of a thing oh see this is what i'm talking about hey hey welcome [Music] [Laughter] welcome welcome please hi entertainment here we go time for perfect timing tell that story bro uh charlotte is a town but also a person charlotte lived in charlotte she loved charlotte so much that's the person that she was in love with so charlotte loved charlotte in charlotte he can't make me laugh like that all right uh she's trying to tell a story that was funny oh god sorry i didn't know the edge of the thing was there and i lost that coin oh my god i wanted it to be inspirational this is like the rest of my life just doing this like one like little section over [ __ ] my life [ __ ] it [ __ ] it you gotta come up with improv skits that's what we do oh that's right okay you gotta battle hit it up dude oh geez do i really you can't do that why are you doing that okay so once upon a time losing your mind yeah i am losing my mind absolutely once upon a time there was this wedge of cheese named fred the wedge of cheese was like oh please put me on a pizza but the pizza people were like no can't do it uh you need to be a very special type of cheese mozzarella and he was like but i'm cheddar and they're like no [ __ ] that's what we just [ __ ] said how'd that coin stay there the entire time oh i'm done okay you did it and so see it works yeah so fred ate himself in protest the end oh god do something oh jeez all right i'm gonna have to really nail this earth tremor why won't you laugh in sync with me um hey we're all laughing in sync with each other [ __ ] you alright tell me a little story tell you a story all right once upon a time there lived a man named joe joe was a thoughtful man he always bought gifts for his friends but one day he decided i'm not going to buy gifts for my friends because they never buy me gifts back so when it was his friend's birthday he's he said and he went the whole day without buying a [ __ ] will that be enough that's not gonna be enough i didn't get to the joke yet oh dicks when his friend his friend called him the next day and said you gave me the the greatest gift of all not seeing your face nice nicely done aaron thanks nice dude yeah and i'll press a with perfect timing while you tell the perfect story um okay uh larry left his house to go shopping he usually gets milk today he was feeling like he should get some water though he doesn't like all the calories that milk has and instead he thought he would splurge on a little ice cream to get his dairy intake ah dangle dangles is it not doing it is it not hurting okay good yeah oh okay um here we go but please please tell the story okay tell a story oh sure uh bob gave good massages on thursdays only thursdays though was a magic curse that was given to him by voodoo bob voodoo bob had three eyes two in the normal spot and one it was like on his back i guess and he likes sandwiches the end wow whatever what a story what an amazing time went places and it came back it was full circle okay some scorsese [ __ ] right there aaron can we do an experiment okay you know how uh when you text on imessage uh it gives you three suggested words based on the next thing yeah that you might say um i want to try to write a text to you using nothing but those okay somebody wrote a song like that is that right yeah i mean it's so weird okay let's start with pickles that'll be the first word okay pickles are the best way to get my hair done wow yeah that's some that's exactly something that you would say to me yeah agreed how does how does apple know let's uh give me another word um start something with uh pickles are the best way to get my hair done fortitude fortitude yo talk to me bro fortitude and the rest of the best thing about being able to do it again and again for the next few days ago when he said the company has been the same thing over and over again and jesus don't never ends have to go back to sleep now good night everyone else really is it still going yeah oh it could go on forever jesus all right so my sentence was pickles are the best way to get my hair done your sentence was fortitude and the rest of the best about thing about being able to do it again and again for the next few days ago when he said the company has been the same thing over and over again and i don't have to go back to sleep now good night everyone else and who says artificial intelligence hasn't caught up to us i don't know it made the little triumphant sound oh nope gotta attack me oh [ __ ] whoa yo yo yo chill chill bro chill i can't chill there i have you so much love to give i'm a ghost i'm a ghost man i'm a naughty ghost i'ma spook you behind this wall and then when you're peeing or something i'm just going to go boom hello i'm a ghost i'm a spooky spooky guy i'm going to wait until we go to sleep and then i'm going to gently position my testicles my ghostly testicles above your sleeping forehead spooky it is spooky they call it a tea bag but i just call it hilarious i just call it tuesday every tuesday for the last 1500 years i've been laying my ghostly otherworldly testes on the unsuspecting sleeping foreheads of the innocent children you know they say like ghosts stick around because like they haven't fulfilled their purpose yet yes well maybe my purpose was to squarely situate my balls on your forehead i never got to do it in my waking life it's so much fun we never had christmas [Laughter] wow that's bitter it sure is south park guys it's a bitter pill to swallow they don't they don't they don't drop grudges easily yeah they don't care for most people myself included i don't like most people like uh stan that guy sucks as a dick dude he always like because i go to this gas station that like it's the cheapest one but [ __ ] they they insist on trying to fill your [ __ ] up they just fill your tank up like these dudes and it's like i don't want this are you doing a bit right now comes over and he's like fill her up and i'm like no i'll do it myself and he's like nope gotta do it and then ah it's like stand go away i'll pay you to go away and not fill up my car but then i pay him and then it cost as much as the [ __ ] next gas station it's [ __ ] aaron buy america what are you talking you pump your own gas in california no this one place really there's one place yeah there's in stands there in my bit and i'm like why is your name gotta uh be all rhymey with mine yeah stan the man earth tremor oh that you're gonna need uh you need to tell a little story though oh okay muppet babies was my favorite show growing up but my mom told me that it was too inappropriate for children i said why is that and she said because kermit the frog was convicted of several murder felonies in this tri-state chicago area and i was like tri-state chicago area isn't a thing all right great good good job aaron and then i gave my mom a kiss good night the end oh thank god that thing is [ __ ] dead okay but i still do those things it just went from like a seven to like a five let's use an earth charmer like it was already like not perfect give me a story aaron give me a little story uh my friend dan is a great guy one day he bought me an ice cream cone even when he didn't have to and i said thank you man and i bit into it and found out it was pistachio and i [ __ ] hate pistachio i didn't have the heart to tell him though because he looked so happy with that smile on his face he kept patting my knee and staring me in the face with a it's creepy grin and i ate the ice cream and i barfed great we killed one of the cannons people thought i was sick for days because i was pistachio disgusted me that much my stomach was churning and twisting i'm gonna hide in the shadows with mario to avoid attacks well that's a good idea no you should use no i should use the uh supernova no i don't need supernova for this i can just earth tremor oh you can can't you i i can press a with perfect timing watch as you tell a story um larry the cable guy um we're off to a weird start funny guy but even funnier live have you ever been to a live laura the cable guy show it made me piss my pants the other person next to me [ __ ] his pants we both had to go to the bathroom and we exclaimed did you [ __ ] your pants and i was like you pissed your pants and the answer was yes our wives left us not because of the piss and [ __ ] but because we took them to a larry the gable guy concert [ __ ] i hit the wrong button okay tell the story the earth moving uh yesterday um my dad called me and said you're doing great son and i said thanks at what and he said being my son and that was really nice and i felt really good and that's the end of the story yes yeah i did it will this kill those nasty cannons that didn't actually happen by the way oh well wait not that it wouldn't it just didn't this did not kill them maybe if my dad watches this he'll be like oh i should do that and then he'll make spaghetti and forget [Laughter] okay uh franklin franklin had a friend named philly franco not philip defranco different guy um he said to him philly oh [ __ ] that was the stone yeah that was really good a little rusty that was a it was a really good one okay gotta put some lime away on me dude i'm getting rusty over here yeah i'm gonna kill these [ __ ] and the first one got healed 10 damage i can do it okay um uh dalton was flying through the air at the speed of light when suddenly he ran into an airplane and it split him in two just [ __ ] right down the center gutsy i can tell if it's good or not based on how well you do on the earth tremor yeah all right i'm just excuse bumps it's the intro to goosebumps give her that song i'm gonna do my earth tremors why don't you tell a goosebumpy story okay the the scourge of the scandinavian scat one day marcus found some scat on the floor and he lives in scandinavia he was cursed the [ __ ] end no i need to ps the scat tastes like chocolate garbage that's not a good story like garbage covered in chocolate okay whatever attacks everything okay yeah because those only have five hp the hands oh sweet yeah in that case i'm gonna need you to tell a little story baby okay once upon a time george billy mcpherson said to his sister georgine i need you to focus that uh their their dad was in a coma and georgine said oh no not georgio i did it okay great great job aaron just really [ __ ] stella yeah dude thank you i don't think is going to work to be honest with you let's stick with the earth trimmer good call on that one okay more story time from aaron hansen master storyteller spin me a yarn franklin roosevelt rode on his horse said hey buddy my voice is hoarse then he went down to the pub with his friend horus and he saw all of the [ __ ] just trying to wow really really stellar really stellar it's okay i did it i [ __ ] did it geez aaron like like concubines like frost okay um all right i'm gonna do the i'm gonna do the tremor yeah here comes your best story of all [ __ ] time all right i took my hand out on a date oh my god and it went well for the first two things first we went to a nice garden because it was in the middle of the day and then as it was getting dark i took her to a nice movie it was ladybird and i haven't seen it yet so i can't [ __ ] you sorry i'm out of practice with this okay i didn't mean to curse so mild so might have this tornado okay nicely done suck on my [ __ ] weenie stuck in his dick suck on my [ __ ] wings taking that dick sucking on my big fat [Laughter] oh what the hell i was supposed to hit him but he didn't hit him zelda's playing the role of the goddess today at today's ceremony did she tell you about it she's into it and i'm gonna be the one to claim that sale claw how are you when i heard she made it herself man no way was i gonna let some scrawny clown snatch that prize for me some scrawny clown snatch that's what the prize is i can't wait to win that scrawny clown snatch oh my god looks like i have a new name for my [ __ ] wi-fi all right all right next time on game group welcome back to game grumps we were just expounding on scrawny clown snatch wi-fi cause everyone in the neighborhood would see scrawny clown snacks right right and then they'd wonder who it is and then i would want to just like drop hints to the neighbors like you see him walking by and it's like oh yeah you know just watching watching that documentary about uh pagliacci you know he was a scrawny clown [Laughter] i would i would uh i would do it and try to frame my neighbor for it like i get two wi-fi's and name one of them dan's wifi i heard phoebe's got scrawny clown snatch over there watch out for her oh amazing i don't really i don't know i mean obviously i'm not a huge mcdonald's fan to begin with right but yeah when it's stuff that's like you're bringing upon yourself it's not really but i'm sure there's stuff where like they promised something and then they didn't deliver something i'm sure there's millions of cases like that like i'd i'm just always a fan of like the little mom and pop operations more than you know giant companies which is why we'll soon be franchising into gg incorporated and abusing the [ __ ] out of our underlings yeah well that's already happening yeah obviously every day i go to barry's desk and i just i just stare at him for a good 30 minutes and i just make him truly uncomfortable i i did measurements sometimes i did it for like 10 minutes sometimes i did it for hours and i found that 30 sec 30 minutes was the most efficient amount of time before he got like a maximum uncomfort level like at that point it was diminishing returns right because if i went for like another hour after that he would only get slightly more uncomfortable right whereas once it hit the 30 minute mark he was he was like getting exponentially uncomfortable yeah you want to max out how shitty barry's life is in how short amount of time you have to take away from your life to make his that [ __ ] exactly but also the problem is there's like there's i have to feel it out because there's some days where he actually enjoys me staring at him which is kind of weird to me and makes me uncomfortable but you know i mean that's that's the gamble that you go into with starting a business you are really committing to this bit some days you know it's it's it's you really gotta you gotta read the terrain wow yeah some items i can get how many of these oh i have zero all right then oh my god oh my god oh no i got uh oh [Music] are those leis really is that a chocolate bar i guess i have to gather special items from the event or something i got some new [ __ ] though how weird i got some new character episodes oh good wait what is this did we see this one i don't think we've seen that of her in her bedroom this is important hey what's up it's your boy i mean girl [ __ ] i've been thinking of diversifying my stock portfolio i'm just gonna assume what she's saying yeah do you think do you think the market's right for bonds or do you think it's good to get a little more risky maybe buy short in the stock market and i was thinking of leaning more towards a dividend based income as opposed to like just leaving it all in stock yeah because if you reinvest then you can just sort of forget about it and let it take its course i mean at the end of the day the the s p 500 is basically going to outperform any portfolio that you put together yourself oh you want to motorboat these titties okay [Laughter] i feel like you've earned it from listening to my stock talk that's a great podcast idea stock talk i'll be right back oh sorry about the motorboating i just get so caught up in my ideas wow well this was a nice conversation yeah i'm glad we had this talk near tengu but please allow me to correct one popular misconception well i'm certainly a monster all right i wouldn't dream of terrorizing the people of this town you see this adorable little girl is the only one who didn't let loose a blood-curdling scream at the sight of me until we played the scream game since she began to visit me here i felt positively jubilant you see my heart's only wish is to become friends with the lovely people of skyloft well get ready to be killed by pitchforks and torches but as you can surely imagine it has proven quite difficult to break the ice when they are struck with paralyzing fear at the mere sight of me i assure you nothing would fill my heart with joy more to be friends with the fine people of this town but as soon as i try to approach any of them and extend my claw of friendship they run and scream as though they've been seen a walking nightmare all right silly me oh my god yeah yourself you see there's an old tale among my monstrous kin that goes as follows it seems that when humans make other humans happy the happy humans produce a substance known as the gratitude crystal the gratitude crystals i use to eat when i eat them i [ __ ] out fortitude crystals i use the fartitude crystals as currency in the bumpy pumpkin the lumpy pumpkin gives me soup that i use to exchange for various goods and deeds in the black market it also makes me gassy thereby giving me the chance to create more fortitude crystals and so the cycle begins anew welcome back to janine garofalo's expedition find what what you got to clear these openings with me first all right can i open with janine graffalo's expedition absolutely all right run the intro again hey i'm i'm not sue gruff and we're the game grumps hey welcome back to janine garofalo's expedition yeah to mount everest yup i'm sorry i added in that last part as well yeah you know what i'm going to need clearance on that future can we start over there hey welcome back to janine garofalo's expedition at mount everest cool wait i didn't actually clear god damn it is it okay yes all right run the intro hey welcome back to janine garofalo's expedition to mount everest starring me aaron hanson why would that be starring you because well somebody's gotta narrate it oh okay she's on her expedition she doesn't have time you're right you're right okay i'm sorry all right run the intro all right hey welcome back to janine garofalo's expedition to mount everest starring aaron hanson uh not starring dan avedon um [Music] can we [ __ ] [Music] so i'm just out i'm just out then yeah well i mean did you want to be you're gonna [ __ ] strong army on this one yeah of course i want to be in it i've always wanted to go to mount everest run the intro again hey welcome back to janine garofalo's expedition to mount everest starring aaron hanson and i guess also starring dan expedition well [ __ ] run it again welcome back to janine garoppolo's expedition to mount everest starring aaron hansen and also dan avidan who is apparently a stickler for [ __ ] pronunciation yes now we can start game grumps hey i'm grump i'm not sue and we're the game grumps so i'm fighting some guys yeah you sure are oh man forget all that [ __ ] we said about mount everest also janine garofalo hi yeah you're the best if you're watching love you you're animating there's [ __ ] nothing to talk about that's interesting yeah cause it's very it's a very internal kind of oh look at you just mushing rocks around yeah it's turnt snack oh man good for him i knew it i knew it um do you know how caves form inside volcanoes caves let's fight [Laughter] whoa let's put them in ranger beth jeez i i really like the randomness that people like spout at you before like they they you start fighting like i like to imagine you're just going through your day like would you like uh three or i mean two or four percent milk waitress sandra would like to battle [Laughter] oh [ __ ] i didn't know that really got me she has she she's like holding a tray of food but it's like pokeballs on it yeah yeah yeah what the [ __ ] we were talking about animators she was a good woman she'll be missed by all gravedigger ted chooses bellsprout i'm not now please anyway no so a little bit further oh please do please do no let's get weird offensive really so we'll do it if it's offensive we'll just edit it out or not at all no not good enough you want to whisper real quick okay okay uh [ __ ] the pressure's on yeah with those accents you go on with yourselves do you think you have anxiety because of how your mother treated you [Laughter] oh man psychiatrists [Laughter] oh my god that is [ __ ] funny he's got a lot of tune i have like a smoker's wheezy laugh right now you do makes me want to laugh more oh look how sassy nidorina is dude i [ __ ] love nitto king and nidoqueen they're like among my top 10 favorites she's really cute he's like you like these ears yeah you can't have you're a just because you're a man doesn't mean you can't have sex with me i'm sorry i'm acting out a little thing in my head here oh come on nidorina oh you stupid [ __ ] she's like you can't kill me with those roxy yours those rocks it doesn't look like she's doing that like hand thing yeah yeah yeah like stop stop just you go ahead and stop right turn snackle was like no she was there she came right up to him and she was like he she did not i'll talk to you later i'm dead [Laughter] [Music] whoa you okay you're killing me i'm sorry i didn't realize you just [ __ ] down to pack a camel 100's jesus i don't think we've seen a stantler stantler's in the in gold and silver oh really yeah can we play that next yeah actually yeah why not um i'm down staple remover that's what [ __ ] rhyhorn's head looks like oh yeah yeah it does like one of those little chompy like he's even got the teeth yeah but staple removers always looked like an animal didn't they oh yeah totally they look like the like there's there's not a personal live that's handled a staple remover and then like not then like the [ __ ] most like dry ass humorless corporate crony has picked up a staple remover and been like yay no shut up yeah like yeah talking to his boss like that like [ __ ] you i quit and boss is like you can't quit we need you meanwhile the actual boss is like standing there and watching him i think you are incredibly fired right now i mean like all the way fired you okay then he pans over and he's just got a staple remover what the boss has this table and he's like the boss the first thing he says is like i believe i requested that all staple removers be removed from the premises of this building that they bring in a staple remover remover oh yeah what would that even look like i don't know yeah like it's just just like a giant nose that sucks up the jaws there we go oh yeah just munch it down i live off staple removers they remind me of my own kind wow we have this is taking a weird turn so welcome back uh we're going to do a little extra fun thing that we discovered frisbee time okay here we go check it out uh okay ha perfect nice yes dude you did it yes dude nice [Laughter] and then just like [Laughter] hold on i need it i need a better i need a better throw here we go oh perfect dead on yeah yeah we're pretty close [Laughter] oh god there is something so satisfying about [ __ ] with this particular game one more time here we go i want to see i want to see it [Music] okay here we go she just falls and that's it it's the best oh man i just love it you oh wait no i could do this all day honestly one more huh there we go you know it's weird frisbee is the most i got it [Music] just keeps following do not feed the bears yeah i'll try not to every like hundredth throw there should just be a bear that just comes out i figured there would be because of the [ __ ] shark situation it looks like there's bears in the background but i think this is just the bottom of the tree yeah i think so too here we go [Music] no frisbee is the most fun in real life and in this game yeah no question [Music] got it i got it all right last one yeah give it give it give it all you got buddy try to get it as perfect as possible you got it [Music] yes yes oh my god oh it's dead on that is an amazing throw wow check it out oh my god it went off the screen [Laughter] holy [ __ ] that's a 300-footer oh if only if someone had been there to catch it 310 that was my best throw ever wow nice yeah look at where it landed on the [ __ ] little top thing hey dude oh man i'm good at frisbee all right next time okay welcome [ __ ] back to [ __ ] game [ __ ] grumps goddamn right you silly little [ __ ] i i gotta come up with a regular thing to call people because like whenever i try to randomly come up with a name for our audience it it never works out for the best it's always like a really mean thing to say or just a stupid thing to say oh sure what was the last one before that uh tina's and thomas's you know for a guy who does like an improvised show boy not not very proud of my work yeah well it's it's a it's all about context what context did the episode have just started no i mean like you know we're playing a video game right if you were on stage and it was like all right scene you're a doctor and he's a guy who is a hypochondriac then then it's like okay you have somewhere to go but if you're just it's like welcome back to the show tina's and thomas seems like par for the course you're probably right you know what this talk is making me uh realize what wait well you know what i was gonna say we haven't done an improv sentence in a long time but maybe i'll do it when you're not getting shot at and attacked by lycanthropes whoops pardon me good sir like i can't handle it all right once i can't handle it okay too much all right i'm getting shot at by blood bullets and [ __ ] that's not how you play the game aaron you're just one word i'm sorry all right all right i'll do it when i'm fighting the boss don't i no i was starting a sentence i wasn't lying away oh okay god i i thought i was going the right way but i went the wrong way okay go ahead okay tina turner [Laughter] there we go ah now all right go ahead was that the end of our first sentence yeah that was the whole sentence okay tina turner here we go do it all right i was walking to the store and finally i said hey what's in the store so then i told my friend who is stupid that one of my deepest fears is to walk on a sherpa [Laughter] i don't know where that came from i'm pretty sure i'm not positive i'm pretty sure a sherpa is a guide that will take you up a mountain yes so one would not exactly lit a shirt one would not walk on a sherpa maybe it's right next to where i am it's like the world's most beautiful shitty train station all aboard to earl yeah everybody on board everybody on board yeah i like to imagine that like if hell is a real thing like you have to take a subway to get there and like you don't know which stop is yours and the person just comes over like in in the new york subway [Music] and the map is really confusing and you're like am i going in the is the right direction oh maybe that's what hell is you just stay on the [ __ ] subway are we traveling east or west are we travel oh [Music] and and just couples are like i told you look at the map it's like i don't need the map yeah and then like the the conductor comes up to you and then you like show him your ticket and he's like where did you get on and you're like uh i got on it earth yeah i was earth and he's like oh this isn't i haven't i'm not hold on yeah and then you're like great he starts talking his walkie-talkie and you're just like sitting there like uh is this okay like am i gonna get kicked off and he's like hold on i'll be right back i just gotta talk to my supervisor and then he just leaves you there for all eternity and then and then yours stop it's like you're stopped coming off ding ding ding you're like i gotta get off and the guy's like wait wait wait wait hold on wow we are like the stephen kings of stupid okay that's what happens okay cool and now he's smoking blue oh god and apparently impervious to stuff look at that please heal baby please please um it's been a long time since i've seen my kids [Laughter] it's like the saddest led zeppelin song oh you must accept your death ah seriously come on brah come on german stop this says let's stop freeing me from my my mmm she took him from me and she's a huge uh i was gonna say been a long time since i paid child support [Laughter] a long time been a long time been alone it's it's very lonely it's super lonely it's been a long time since my wife left me been a long time since i felt the touch of a woman let me get back let me get back let me get back to the days when i was happy swift tailing it's just like god like i i listen to my [ __ ] classic rock and weird music and um i i get all up in to like writing my own [ __ ] and i just like forget to pay attention to what's going on in like culture so things will come and go and everyone will know them except me and then like two years later i'm like have you heard that song with the pumped up kicks it's pretty good i've heard that korean song with that guy and he's like a horse gagging style yeah gagum he's singing about hope hope hope hope hopeful gangnam style i don't know i don't know the children ever since i got three of my hands blown off in the japan i was born a freak with three hands and i got it the first one got blown off in combat i was like oh that's pretty good actually this might work out and then the other two blew off and i was like oh damn it so close it's a living a normal life no i really should just tell people i was like a normal two-handed person [Laughter] but i got two of my hands blown up but i keep [ __ ] it up oh boy oh [ __ ] [ __ ]

Channel: Bman64

Views: 1,190,367

Keywords: funny, game grumps, comedy, bit, bits, humor, improv, paper mario, TTYD, zelda, mario, bloodborne, dead or alive, skyward sword, ocarina, earth tremor, star power, story, stories

Id: oKbFNQuC4q8

Length: 60min 0sec (3600 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 16 2018