BEST OF GAME GRUMPS - 2017 MEGA COMPILATION (3 HOURS) - Sleep Aid

was oh he's stretching he's doing a nose or bowser pose dude oh so adorable uh do you want to go skydiving yeah want to go for walkies kawaki's somebody's going wonkys look at this walkies there we go no he's having fun he thinks he's a bird it wasn't even like oh it was really close to one another so it was like every single time i went into the bathroom a public restroom three times in a row i somebody was barfing next to me huh just so weird maybe you're wretched foul [ __ ] oh oh no when i was a kid though i didn't correlate uh barf like barfing with relief it was just like oh no not barfing yeah no it's terrible but like now if a barf is coming on i'm like yes please god yes just get it out of me i know i'll feel immediate relief when i [ __ ] barf but and then i do and i always do i always i'm like oh thank you thank you you know what aaron yeah i don't throw around the term master storyteller and today i continue that trend [Laughter] we'll play it aaron what as as that last episode ended i was like oh can i do you mind if i respond to this text message and i was like sure go ahead that time as i'm texting i get a text from aaron that says it says no i said i said i'll take the time to respond to a text of my own that's right and then i get a text where it says yeah he's responding to text messages wasting my [ __ ] time followed by sorry wrong person you [ __ ] bastard so many good things i wasn't paying attention to anything that was being said but i'm sure why did you keep pushing the button then well because i [ __ ] know all this already okay you have your pokemon taken care of first if you think they need a little age [ __ ] how do i get them taken care of [ __ ] no don't walk away oh no oh i'm lost oh oh what am i going to do [Laughter] oh i just rest my pokemon here which was the pokemon center which was the coffee place look at [ __ ] me you know what there are times in life where you have to just sit back and go all right you know what i'm proud of myself yeah is this one of those times no [Laughter] but in theory i just wanted to inspire many yeah it could happen it could be the case why would i i'm playing video games i don't know i was challenged by preschooler mia yeah she looks ready to kill she's got twice the eyebrows of any normal preschooler [Laughter] it's the only video game where a preschooler is a viable villain you're up late hey don't [ __ ] judge me jesus wow for me it's early i work nights yeah you're a plate and huh your clothes look like they've been taken off and put back on that's interesting your hair's a little messed up getting some dick whoa easy yeah just [ __ ] wash my pokemon and or whatever you do going on polka tinder huh yeah oh you want to know why i want to be the strongest because it's cool to be strong duh oh [ __ ] we're going to fight this edge lord next time on game grumps [ __ ] dude what if i just whipped out my dick and jerked off on this dude's pixelated face i don't know all right oh are you texting no no i just received another like one of those crazy holiday texts from my friend libby who always sends them that's a lot of emojis what's poppin in that peppermint [ __ ] you little snoho dick tem dixember is almost here and the only way to stay warm is to ride daddy's crisp ass tree all month long until isn't that a woman sap comes out but don't forget to lick off any syrup from daddy's hard candy cane if you want to get rawed under the mistletoe send this to 25 of your thickest elves if you get zero back then you're an ugly grinch if you get ten back you're a bad jingle bell [ __ ] if you get 20 then get ready for daddy claus and saint [ __ ] on christmas eve oh saint dicolis is what it was all leading up to share in 69 seconds or you won't be getting [ __ ] down in 2-0-1-7 that's 2017. well my friend mark used to [ __ ] eat the uh sugar stick right away and then just pour the dip into his mouth and i'm like dude you're gonna get diabetes if you eat it like that not if you eat it normally if you eat it normally the sugar uh goes down i think that's obvious what diabetes nuts that's real mature aaron [Applause] yeah that's like when i was talking about my itchy [ __ ] on the show i got a ton of people saying like oh you got pin worms and i'm like yeah i just have an itchy [ __ ] lots of people do like that's pretty it seems pretty common honestly yeah there's a lot of experts on every subject and you know what these these fools and i know you're just trying to be helpful yeah it's actually very nice but these fools got me looking at my [ __ ] like sticking my nose right in my dookie just just floating in the toilet and i'm just like maybe i have pin worms and i'm just like looking down and i'm like i don't what am i doing what am i doing i'm looking at my i got my nose like three inches from my [ __ ] such an [ __ ] that's what they say god i wish i could be in that room oh it's just a foot laying on the ground you're right aaron hey thank you did you visit the church spirit how was it it sucked [ __ ] oh traitor look what you've got who am i you're lucky kid if you got a pokefinder then i guess i'll give you a little tip yeah don't talk to strangers need to take more practice photos huh man i've got just the model check it out that's where i rest my giant car yeah my dick did that it's a photo spot right there i guess it's on the other side and he like runs to the other side yeah look at that you wrote it's trying to tell you that too give him a tap give me a tap too give him a tip a tap a little tip tap i want to go up and give him a tap together hi my name's kyle brown and my last kickstarter for the [ __ ] globe raised over 200 000 from its last original 9 000 goal that's insane and then it like zooms in on his face when he says that yeah these are every this is our impression of every kickstarter video of all time but now i need your help again see i'm inventing something called the [ __ ] stain [Laughter] pretty sure you didn't invent that kyle it's a little product that packs a lot of punch and the best thing about it is it's completely humane and doesn't harm the [ __ ] have you ever wanted a stain that doesn't come out smells like [ __ ] and makes your stuff brown as [ __ ] well we've invented the best [ __ ] stain ever growing up in rural georgia i had nothing but a pile of [ __ ] and a dream that one day i could stain something so bad that you could never wash it out well today's the day and i need your help to make it a reality [Music] everybody knows that feces spreads diseases but this [ __ ] stain is 100 fda approved yeah the federal dookie association whoa tell me when almost ready okay okay i'm gonna poop at some point do it i mean start the episode don't be okay when i come to the pokemon cemetery it's no good because i get so mournful well that's good yeah that's a fact i know about what you're supposed to do hey i'm mournful office worker jeremy i recently lost both my parents thanks for reminding me go diglett god so [ __ ] his diglett's got his little three hairs i love him hyped look at that tail yeah that was that butt that was oh can you look like right at his [ __ ] yeah oh yeah he's got a little [ __ ] good for you aaron i couldn't be prouder that's great [Laughter] we do this for a living great [ __ ] thanks man been working on it working out getting that [ __ ] tight and puckered ben wolfhard is our guest on the show with the show his name is glasscrops hey welcome what the [ __ ] is up everybody oh sorry just kidding what the hell dude sorry sorry we're all supposed to [ __ ] swear i know i know i know we have we have a gentleman of of younger age here and it is the great and amazing film film finn [ __ ] [ __ ] finn wolfhard do my baby ears hurt it's harsh um we're all feeling the love yeah believe me if i wanted to hang out with a 14 year old any more than i do right now i would be on some kind of government watch list i'd be inside my house or in a jail cell yeah uh you know what actually uh let's edit that part [Laughter] i like as i'm saying and i'm like don't say that that's a problem whatever but so uh i don't know what's going on buddy but if i know matt and ryan they're not gonna edit it out they're gonna replay it with like sweeping orchestral music behind it believe me if i wanted to hang out with a 14 year old any more than i do right now i would be on some kind of government watch list scumbags i hate them that is weird uh um what has been i got a question which yeah dude ask away shut up good okay everyone shut the [ __ ] up i gotta do something hold on show us some burp respect um i've been watching this game grips animated like almost every day um whoops what is it it's of you guys doing um like movie trailer but it's uh bologna man yeah no no not bloody man like this summer it's about to get hot in the bedroom the thermostat's up too high should i turn it down yeah this summer it's like so not funny i know it's yeah it's the best slash worst dude you can come up with these like like back to back to back and like the episode will still be funny oh well that's pretty much what mickey mouse capade was oh my god what the heck is this pizza crap this garbage ass game dude it really sent me over the edge when it was dick waffles being poured over a fat girl's titties that's when you can't say that you can't what do you mean you can't this is an episode special episode oh yeah sorry i can't say dick waffles all right you can say dick waffles but you can't say fat girls titties okay oh that's right sorry that would that would have been no that doesn't that doesn't that doesn't fly finn you know what it was like three years ago dude i remember what it was like to be 14. 40s and uh i knew what fat girls titties were back in the old days they were in bustiers because they were flappers and it was the 20s wait wait everybody shut up okay sorry [Music] there's the one there's the one yeah that's the winner that just keeps coming i want abby i want avi oh my god are you serious i love him so much that's i don't think he's ever seen stranger things but my mom has and she freaking loves you i want to talk to your mom whoa slow your room yo yo not like that someone starts your mind this summer your mom coming you got it what the [ __ ] is going on i mean does somebody oh that's why it's called tag team racing dude you're actually the exact age that i was when like health class would show those movies like like actual like footage have they have you seen those yeah of course oh my god why do they do that to us they're the worst they're not even good though like they're not even hot i think he might like well directed and like storytelling i want soft lighting and a baby coming out i can't even jayo to this dude what the [ __ ] this is so uncool do you know dan have you ever watched community yeah of course okay cool oh you found a good one yeah please um um it's gonna be 20 minutes of finn trying an irishman walks out of a bar come on dude like for approval and aaron's just frozen like in a oh man all right all right lay some more on us okay okay what do you got uh what's that oh no i can't say that okay i can't do that sorry no that's a bad one yep um how am i am i doing this right oh i am i'm gonna weird one's the sticky one which brown is taking a stick i forgot about that hey some sticks aren't all brown dude like racist um why did the boy drop his ice cream because he was hit by a bus oh my god dude yeah first of all you gotta give us a second [Laughter] i don't know why yeah oh my god hold on my favorite is what do you call a no white fish oh yeah a fish fish with no eyes that's it yeah what did batman and robin what oh what did batman say to robin before they got in the car what get in the car come on dude it's something so obvious batman and robin say batman stayed around before they got in the car hey robin um i've been thinking yeah thai food yeah i mean it's just a drive away it's like five minutes um knock knock who's dave davu dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimer's tails his family apart that's not funny dan that's not funny at all jesus finn i look up and like you're in 56 that's how did you do that wow you're an animal dude oh i didn't land it uh oh uh oh uh oh what's worse than finding a worm in your apple no don't no polio i saw this one the holocaust [Laughter] yeah totally i got your back bro um well i'm a quarter jericho roses are red violets are blue i have a gun get in the van that's a good one i was on yeah yeah you're absolutely right sorry a dyslexic man walks into a bra that's old school super old all right it's old school all right only one more one more uh what did the homeless man get for christmas nothing whoa guys i know what it is do you really yeah you piece of [ __ ] i'm gonna keep i'm gonna keep spinning to get the [ __ ] points up you're so [ __ ] greedy have you guys ever puked on a sibling yes have you yeah i puked on my mom finn do you actually get like um tons of girls like yeah but they're all like uh 35 no no like they're like eight and from brazil and i like it it's like it's super rewarding it's really specific it's true and like they're all from brazil and it's like really cool but like what why what why brazil i'm an american girl being like oh i love you finney huh you know sure for real don't get a gus thank you so much you won't regret this won't i i already regret it coops join your party i regret the fact that my friend just got absorbed into my head so first we're gonna have to go to cvs to get my prescription a primer oh okay what if okay so what if there was like a soup that was really good that was made with pee would you would you eat it yeah of course you would yeah like you even need to ask that question no but seriously if there was if it was a really really good soup and everyone was like this is the best [ __ ] soup you'll have in your life but it's made with pee oh i'm getting my ass and not only pee but it's made with like like a dude you is pee it's like frank's pee what the hell are you talking about i'm asking you a question if so if if the whole if everybody was just like dude this soup is so [ __ ] good but it's made with pee i could not be less clear on what we're talking about right now how could i be more clear in this hypothetical world where these people come up to you and they're like this soup is delicious right but it's made with pee you lost me next time game grumps see you later i'll drink dance p what no well [Laughter] well could have been worse [Laughter] it doesn't count when he hits coops [Laughter] please do aaron yo i got a piss in the toilet god and tell me more tell me more tell me more is it frothy and gross [Laughter] oh you can jump and then do it i don't know can you do that he just said i don't know like anthony anthony i don't know i don't think we've ever talked about that on the show have you ever talked about gay brothers oh [ __ ] i don't know how to do this but you probably can't do it yet oh okay you're probably right aaron aaron has a favorite gay porn everybody do you wanna cause it's your thing you should tell about it all right well me and my friend jake we uh we found this porno jake is the perfect name by the way to start like a gay story me and my friend jake we'd always just been friends me and my friend jack yeah jack mihoff stop um we have this porno i don't know how we found it but it's called gay brothers and it's just it's called gay brothers yeah wow they're brothers all right so there's there's all this see the porno is like 40 minutes long but we only watch the first minute because it's the best part after that they just have sex yeah which is like where's the fun in that i want to see that oh you son of a [ __ ] you're using an item i'm not i'm not a homophobe i just i just i'm not into gay sex so i don't want to watch it right but in any case the the first although i will say i've watched the first couple minutes because i was curious yeah and i'll also say when we were when we were driving around in the van and you were showing it to me like we you we were talking we were looking at regular porn you were like i got a huge boner right now and then you turned on the gay porn and i was like how do you feel now and you're like well i didn't lose the erection well anyway and they can neither confirm nor deny okay uh so the whole thing is i mean you can google it i guess but uh the whole thing is is this this guy walks into a room and he just goes anthony and then it cuts and there's presumably anthony on the bed completely naked just just ripping his peen up and down and he's just like i gotta have that big dick of yours and this is where i want you to put it and he like spreads his butt cheeks and then and then the other guy who i don't know whose name is anthony's brother i guess no that can't be right close you want me to [ __ ] you and then and then anthony goes full service just like susan and licks his lips which is a great line because full of service there's there's history there it's like there's history well who's susan presumably his girlfriend or his wife oh man which means he's lying to himself if he's gay and also he's [ __ ] his brother so that's weird too but full service it's like okay well i guess the way that they're gonna [ __ ] is how anthony's brother [ __ ] susan in any case and then he and then anthony's brother goes i don't know and that's what you said that sounded like it reminded me oh yeah i don't know i don't know and and then uh and then anthony goes no one will find out get your clothes off and then and then anthony's brother just starts taking off his clothes just fully in completely and then after it's like this really long awkward sequence where he's just like just taking off his clothes like a dude it's not like sexy or anything and then then anthony just goes now come over here and work on these tits and then he just starts licking his look at his look at his boobs dude oh man i don't know what happens after that i guess they insert penises into each other's butts yeah we've never made it that far what a shame um but hey that's gay brothers you should check it out this episode is dedicated to chaotic car yeah are you glad you gave to that charity buddy so you could [ __ ] have the honor of sharing the same episode as us recounting a gay pornography film that we saw it's like my favorite yeah it is it is i turn it on sometimes just to cheer myself up they didn't lose the erection so every time i'm gone every time we saw each other for the rest of that um that series of game grumps live shows that tour we were like anthony like just in surprise mode oh okay now i know um you gotta use your [ __ ] ability dude you just got it oh i was like how it's impossible [Laughter] excuse me excuse these excuses like how your head's all floppy yeah i moved like the thing from burger time like the sausages oh man that's great okay my ears son your little butt baby you came out of your mom's butthole oh my [Music] that's this who's this handsome piece of cheese everybody has the same voice in my in my mind came inside your mom's button turns out she had a uterus in there a double uterus that's what they call it medically a double uterus she's got it yeah you grew up on her backside and she had like a baby bump on her back yeah it's like a like a like the hunchback of notre dame and she pooped out you're a you're a butt baby when after you came out her her [ __ ] was so wide uh you know what it was just flying out on the floor she couldn't even shouldn't even squeeze out of [ __ ] it would just fall out anyway this episode is dedicated to dark mare underscore 55 thank you for donating to charity dark mare 55 dark bear underscore 55 you're the best thank you this is from a game grump stream that we did yeah the incentives were a shout out and darkmare55 this episode is yours thank you congratulations yeah i hope you enjoyed that shout out right in the middle of this tangent even the mouse looks like he's got like a butt tail like his tail creates a butt but it's supposed to be a heart but whatever i can't hey who are you me why am i heard of me sweetie i heard there was a rare and viable badges here in this castle that's why i'm here but the real question is why are people like you roaming in such a run-down place we're here to build a town get to the um crystal storm matt ryan can you zoom in slowly on mario while he's like oh my god you know the [ __ ] bounce thing because you're a [ __ ] idiot um all right you stupid prick oh damn that's tough whoa okay well you know um aaron and i were just laughing because i i put up a picture on instagram today uh just taken at the office it's just you know your [ __ ] basic run-of-the-mill selfie i thought i looked waxy and i was like this would be funny to just like take a picture and be like oh man i worked out pretty hard today and [ __ ] it gives me like a weird waxy complexion um uh so like just took a normal picture of myself with the i don't know with with the subtitle like you know working out with aaron going pretty well all that not knowing that there was a giant [ __ ] big black dildo hanging from the [ __ ] ceiling like suction cupped upside down to the ceiling it's perfectly framed behind me it's perfect yeah but kind of planned a better shot but that's the thing like you said like it looks planned so i got away with it i think but yeah definitely not planned definitely just a dildo hanging behind my head i stroked and petted him but nothing would work so i gently entered him it seems almost like stroking in different places elicited different responses from your lips to god's ears buddy wow ain't that the truth like when i stroke his long hard trico i couldn't help but notice his trico grew inches upon inches it kept growing and growing and soon it couldn't fit in the hallway we were in it was so large i was starting to suffocate under the weight of it anyway we got out of there anyway i'm off topic [Laughter] there is more to this phenomenon as well iran diagnostics programs and their solution was i want to know more about you i want to observe you such a compulsion has no precedence cause unknown i the perfect computer i must diagnose this unusual situation i will not fail that's why i led you in here zip no it's more like like put the mic up to it oh you can hear it oh okay cool oh oh that's right that's nice and then like it goes like super fast oh oh [ __ ] that's what daddy likes i never sleep do you mind if i bring myself into the bathroom good night it's not weird princess weird it's not weird [Laughter] damn is now melting [Music] it's actually very hot in here and he has a low melting point so um and he's dead anyway thanks for coming dan's not actually dead you ready to [ __ ] suck me off good you better believe i am i feel like i'm in towjam and earl have you look at overworld shack this world is huge i want to go and go close if you do it right the crowd will go nuts and some attacks have multiple ones what is it from the [ __ ] christmas thing like [ __ ] says going nuts what that was you that was your line suzy we got a genuine django problem on our hands sand's going nuts hey suzy jingle jackal santa's going we got a jingle jingle problem here santa's going nuts it's like could you guys help us out maybe show some off if you do we'll give you uh a pune job they're called pune jobs we rub our little green little ball on the outside of your anus sometimes it like penetrates a little bit what was it we call it the crystal star if you do we'll have the puny elder give you that i don't know what it is but it will help to reclaim our tree i'm sure the elder will agree the beauty elder's green little ball is way bigger than mine so you better get your anus ready let's not waste any more time we're going to reenact we'll not reenact i'm actually going to do it again just to show everyone how freaked out aaron gets when he doesn't know when the tapping on the face happens okay it's coming aaron at some point [Laughter] oh geez look they're still going by that's great object permanence shut up it's good continuity god [ __ ] damn it it just comes right back to you of course it does all right come on come on nope oh my god oh my goodness gracious okay here we go it's [ __ ] agony dude it's absolutely agony stop stop i'm hitting it at all different times all different times oh no yeah you you could check me into the hospital with a stroke limit because you gotta beat it dude oh [ __ ] my life just go right go a little right it'll bounce off the grass i i mean [Laughter] i hope you die i hope everyone in scotland dies because that's where they invented gold oh my god i don't actually mean that so funny i love you scotland i'm just very stressed out right now let's try going left oh my god oh my god i hit it when it when the hole is in front i hit it when it's to the back i know it's the left and to the right what remains there you go there's some kind of weird [ __ ] me oh boy let's try swinging it to the right there we go let's give it a try okay okay and i'll try it right when it's facing me okay there a little bit early oh there we go i am losing my mind okay there you go there you go what is this a [ __ ] is this a psychological experiment is that what this is you can't hit it fast enough oh my god this is so funny i hate my life i'm just gonna [ __ ] start hitting immediately bam bam bam you can't do it there we go oh thank you oh my god dude thank you yes cover me in your juicy oil oh jesus christ they're dead oh wow we already got they already got fixed up wow and now they're chickens apparently the sound of it okay you know what aaron i think we're gonna go ahead and call this an episode no no oh my god this is so funny if we go 16 more holes of this i would have picked this tv up and throw it through the [ __ ] window oh oh my god i have the worst possible score you can have in golf after two rounds sweet next time on game oh my god you're dead to me more wacky golfing [ __ ] dead to me is that what they said about this yeah you got a sound out there everybody it's sounding it's called oh don't don't it's sending chills right up my dick and spawn i know actually do not do not google image search that it is disgusting yeah that matt that matt that's all you you [ __ ] brought that into our lives you piece of [ __ ] i've known about sounding for [ __ ] years have you really yeah you know that's a great time it's just the act of sticking stuff up your dick hole yeah uh in order to stretch it out for some purpose i don't know why well i think it's it's just sexual oh like it feels good well to some people and then yeah and then it's not it builds up pressure oh no when you ejaculate oh no yeah so like when you ejaculate it's like a lot of people like to like make little uh homemade ones out of like wax oh no they'll like melt wax and then they'll stick it inside this i'm sorry we started talking about it and then when they when they jail it'll just like shoot right out i'm not making this up this is real i know you're not you know how i know you're not making it up because [ __ ] it's sexual and it's anything [Laughter] anything people are doing yeah as long as it's anything i think maybe they talked about it in guts the chuck pollonic short story oh maybe that's true about the the guy who gets his intestines sucked out by a pool drain what through his dick no through his [ __ ] oh interesting he gets a prolapsed anus and then his his intestines get sucked out everyone at home enjoying this episode and then in in because he he's drowning he has to like chew through his intestines finn wolfhard our favorite 14 year old fan are you enjoying this and then and then sorry finn he gets surgery to reduce his um his uh his intestinal lining jesus so he has a really small intestines please stop so you can only eat soft food please stop it and then at the end of the story the story calls it the carrot in the room oh no because he they he he used to shove carrots up his ass uh you know what first of all spoilers and they and his parents found like a like a poopy carrot in his laundry stop just he knows that they found it start this episode they won't they won't talk about it oh god so it's the carrot in the room this is the worst they know but they won't talk about his favorite episode of game grubs ever so they know that he has small intestines now because he likes to get his ass sucked in the pool huh um but they won't talk about it oh jesus that shark is ridiculous also inside a shark's mouth i know of course i am why wouldn't i be it's a oh my god dude oh my god this game is just randomly hit the same button over and over until something different i think there is an element of timing to it there is not yeah because i assure you it was different when you hit the oil and it fixed it oh my god aaron i was watching see that was from a different side because of the thing if you if you hit it when he's underwater or something there you go oh okay that wow it's a feeding frenzy it was a golf ball you can't digest that silly shark oh aaron i am absolutely going to strangle you there we go while he's in the water there you go oh there we go all right maybe when he's completely in the water completely submerged okay and this is one two submerged perfectly done perfectly got it hit it to the right hit it to the right the right sends it into the pool dude yeah but maybe it's like a special thing oh look see my god this game is stupid it makes no sense you're right how what was the whistle doing in there oh my god like when he's about to jump in the hole when he is like in the hole okay there we go whoa aaron bro i've been paying attention oh to the grand canyon you threw my ball into the grand canyon shut up i i cannot i cannot do this much longer oh into the grand canyon i go t he [Laughter] shut up no all right all right i'll try a side shot when it's halfway what the [ __ ] kind of art museum yeah nope i'll try a side shot when it's fully down i mean is this what hell is am i in hell is hell this is it this is it it just i just god is giggling it's this huge painting that's just moving up and down yeah it the painting's sole purpose is to deny golf balls entry it's already big but like the perspective of the thing going in the distance is huge i agree i agree also nothing gets past it okay so that was when it was up let's try to the right when it's fully down god whoever made this game oh yeah i love you okay there we go there we go beautiful all right now you gotta try to catch it in the middle you're beautiful man oh the timer just said 11 11. let's make a wish i wish i was dead okay all right there we go there it is that's the one have you tried everything i've tried absolutely everything i tried everything oh yeah no i would have systematically tried it halfway halfway i've tried multiple times from every angle oh my god the only oh there i'll try to as it's coming down okay perfect i think what's funny is like i can see you shooting it at different times but it always ends up being the exact same answer yeah dude hilarious am i right are you kidding me with how funny that is oh god yeah god i can't breathe tell my wife i love her because i will not be coming home tonight jesus christmas we got eugene levy's like packed up for the day he's like yeah he yeah he just stopped talking he's coming back tomorrow yeah [ __ ] it this guy will still be here shooting putts he's not the only putts around oh my god aaron you want to try this sure i think you should try it give it a try please don't [ __ ] this up of course he's gonna block it and he's leaving he's leaving with it that's it that's the end of the story oh my god oh my god oh my god please just there's no rhyme or reason to this you can't take it it's so funny uh uh oh it's the best throw it away throw it away okay yeah you don't want that oh my god okay cool you don't need to fall through the ice and waste our time the penguin just takes it i can't just take sit and leave i cannot pass this cutscene i know okay okay okay oh it's a submarine yeah yeah yeah i don't know what i thought it was nope bye [Music] i mean that's all he's there for yeah he just wants to take your ball and run just be a [ __ ] dick if you just rolled it on its side it's still roll i'm gonna go ahead and hand this to you sure yeah watch this savant coming through [ __ ] yeah watch this oh god i got savant levels of good ah done done scored [ __ ] watch this done done easy peasy easy [ __ ] peasy easy peasy here it comes oh [ __ ] roll it down suck me off suck me right off got the choppies [Laughter] good lord i think the people that are cocooned to the wall and aliens you know like kill me just set me on fire [Music] got it got it you did not you tried every single [ __ ] frame i know every single frame you don't have to tell me bud that was that was the same one we've tried every single [ __ ] iteration of this goddamn [ __ ] moat [ __ ] we tried every one oh oh baby all of them it goes up one frame down oh [ __ ] i did too early god lord god savage this one downed it's down it doesn't work oh please just please let it end torture torture sorcerer torture that's the worst torture that's the worst done that's it that's the one no what [ __ ] would [ __ ] stop would it stop no not on my watch uh got it got it that's it you did not there's no there's no solution there's no solution i even feel like the [ __ ] submarine thing was a fluke there it goes but it's not gonna do it that's not it it's got the choppies it's going choppy it's going choppy on me oh isn't that a shame [ __ ] choppies didn't see that coming [ __ ] [ __ ] game you're the one who wanted to play this sucks it sucks like literally two god two minutes ago you were praising the charm of this game that the charm yeah like people worked hard on it yeah but yeah oh with the in the drink this game is like i can think of a couple adjectives other than wacky to describe this this is [ __ ] agony straight agony all right watch this is it three frames down i've tried literally every frame i know i know wait this feels different choppies [Laughter] wait the [ __ ] triumphant horns make it so much worse somehow it's the same one yeah it's uh uh this feels yeah yeah very chopping that's a failure [Music] okay oh there we go god boy he has what haven't i don't know i'll tell you i'll tell you what though that night has incredible aim what haven't i tried please god aaron i can't like it's just this is so good it's so good at chopping it's it was it's actually impossible it's yeah what iteration have i not tried i know i've tried them all i've tried them all dan i know aaron every single freaking one choppy there it is i've gone through the whole circle i'm losing my mind that's that what there it is there it is that's the one that's the one [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] what what english castle has piranhas in front of it they're not even native to the region i'm so sad i'm so sad inside right oh it's not it's impossible it's impossible it's impossible this is what this is what purgatory is yeah yeah you just can't you just and you try and there's a little glimmer of hope but it never comes this is the misery of hell mixed with the unendingness of limbo like it's just the worst there it is that's the one that's the one that's the one that's not the one that's not it that's not it yeah [Music] there's no it's i i'm so i'm so flabbergasted i am just in awe of this game do you remember i'm in awe i'm well dude i am confused as to who i am right now i'm the woman it is i already find myself caring oh me too we get way into that by the end we'll be screaming at each other yeah yeah this will end in blood i think yeah we're going to use these balloon poppers to shank each other oh that cloud oh [ __ ] whoa whoa whoa look at these stringy ones this is a little i didn't even realize those were balloons i thought i literally thought they were missiles or condoms i wasn't sure what they were yeah don't fight in the reservoir that they could be balloons oh god okay cake sacker sounds like a shitty reality show believe me i dropped a cake right after lunch today i know but if there's no you'll understand when it comes it gets to be your turn you'll be like how the [ __ ] do i control oh now i have to do it i think it's like up i see up and down is the movement boom baby sweet stack dude thanks bro yo that stack is tits i'm not gonna lie this is better than the stack i dropped yesterday nice oh ho ho ho ho ho i was almost [Laughter] okay new cake why is it up and down that's so bizarre i i think it's best just to hold it in one place and let the plate come to you i think that's my cake you definitely have the advantage going first no question yeah plates so big well now that there's now that we're three i'm gonna get the fourth one and it's gonna be a problem for me oh i see okay that was a good one that was a good drive i'm so glad this duncan hines cake stacker game is it's giving us absolutely a perfect drop yeah isn't to be perfect maybe the strategy is you actually want to make it a little yeah absolutely a little subterfuge ah yeah like yeah you're like a spy from carvel trying to [ __ ] up everything oh give me fudgy give me fudgy the whale oh oh baby it's very tilty yeah baskin robbins yeah you're oh 31 flavors of death oh oh oh oh please get that weak [ __ ] out of my house like the moms are just really aggressive oh i can imagine get [ __ ] yes i [ __ ] four eyes the duncan hines branded cake stacker game might be my favorite game yeah actually yeah this has the most drama that's what they that's what they requested specifically yeah like we get the best game yeah slap our branding all over the place what else do you do you want laser gremlins do laser brother cake stack a contest is ours that's the money shot oh come on you sabotage me you better believe i did oh thanks thanks thanks for bro i sabotaged everything i sabotaged your seder by hiding multiple official my god yeah get that oh my god eat that [ __ ] i will uh be on that affigato what yes see i stabilized the kids oh god that actually it is going to flop in the oven at this point it shouldn't be on a rolling pin that's for sure that seems dangerous [Applause] look at my little character she's like that's right [ __ ] you're a duncan's hide brandon's cake stacker champion brenda remember the [ __ ] go to name room oh man that's some sweet dancing oh my god i can't believe you won the duncan hines cake stacking jack i'm gonna i get the coupon now and i get to go into any dunkin hines oh well the bear's coming into any dunkin hines yeah oh there's so many of those great duncan shots that you can choose from so many outlets search your local internet today oh i see okay i thought i thought the black thing was his hair i did too it was just really weird he's rocking a skrillex right now exactly he's like do you know who wrote this manuscript and he said that he's like call 911 it's musical but then again this is vienna in 1824. we're up in her we we're up to our wigs and musicians mozart beethoven hayden all these big names are here has ludwig ever stayed with you who told you that oh in 1787 he stayed right here on this duke he met mozart he didn't move at all well i guess he moved a little yo he moved up and down he met mozart but then he had to go back to germany i'm itching to mark his room with a plaque to boost my status quote-unquote plaque quote-unquote room quote-unquote mark is he still all right [ __ ] his ass with my dick that's what i meant pity no although he's a slob and plays loudly due to his bad ears i love having a famous guest now he lives in a palace i've got such an itch to advertise that he slept here here meaning yeah he and he puts the little sign on his crush [Applause] he [ __ ] me beethoven that's what those four flags say he [ __ ] me here is beethoven married yes to that [ __ ] he's married to this dick huh he loves all of frau lines who'd put up with him i'm itching to tell you more but i can't right now because homosexuality won't be legalized for another 200 years oh man what's what's what does it what's going on to you just uh some casual leaning what's going on we're at war anyway two coffees please yeah [Laughter] so what are you doing later we've had it up to here with the british and their taxes why should we run by a parliament across the atlantic we could [ __ ] tax ourselves to death a couple hundred years right in this country oh [ __ ] topical king george george iii of great britain the british have ruled the american colony since the founding of jamestown in 1607 but now we want our independence [ __ ] independence huh yeah you want an apprentice you want another person from the british but they give you all kinds of good stuff they give you floofy wigs they give you bad cheese sugar fresh [Laughter] looks like you're on the menu [ __ ] god baby we're doing this you went out of your way to order this game i spent i'm i'm gonna be completely [ __ ] open and truthful with you guys this isn't important i spent 300 300 on this game 300 out of it not only that but i spent 150 extra on the [ __ ] german version i think it was dutch whatever okay the [ __ ] it definitely wasn't in english the [ __ ] schbergenbergen version where we were i turned it on and i was like maybe there's an english mode and it was just like a link and i was like oh my [ __ ] god yeah our options were like blurring fearing schmerk and sterkin and save [Laughter] so enjoy this 450 investment in my anger anguish and torment for your musical enjoyment i don't know why i said musical i mean it goes before you're like what the [ __ ] oh baby oh mama i just want to kill someone you can scrub and care but it is always there dick cheese just no warning just started that song there was no warning i just walked in the room and i saw you and i was like inspirational i feel like part of the visual element is lost because like you just you just barreled in and it just stopped and then i don't know what you were doing with your slack because i was slapping wildly on my legs right then you just slapped wildly but i feel like you like threw in some claps there were some [ __ ] there was something when you did it to me before yeah well when inspiration like dude i don't god moves through me i don't know okay do you think he got like uh like dental surgery no i think he was just like a good looking dude he's always been handsome yeah stop it with the following me on the ladder whoa oh oh oh oh oh no oh oh oh oh oh oh oh fish fall spears just falls whoa oh how do you deal with that apparently spearfish flies what the [ __ ] stop following me in a vertical manner oh dude you're incredible right now this is longitudinally going keep going don't don't don't [ __ ] wait oh my god oh my god wow [Laughter] good large beer fish you almost fell down to the hole [ __ ] dude yeah just [ __ ] just go flying like kill one and yeah and just go go go guy won't let me shorty get girl well let me oh oh oh oh oh it won't let me oh dick i can't tell what's a platform and what is not clearly i i can't attack while i'm jumping that's that is that is a problem yeah yeah oh what did that with the that don't don't go away no i mean do go away [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] i don't know what's what i don't know what's what i don't know that was a butt doesn't make any sense god there's no rivalry they're touching me but it's not hurting me oh my god oh my god that is so funny oh my gosh just oh my god oh oh there's the end there's the end just keep killing it no no no no no no no don't go oh [ __ ] i can't i'm [ __ ] oh [ __ ] go now ch change yeah wait go right go right you went left again go down and right oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh whoa where is it where is it where is it where's the end where's the end where's the end to the right oh my god i'm like no no no no go right here and then go up yes jesus jesus killed all this jesus jesus dude oh god oh oh oh oh no oh you [ __ ] boomerang throwing [ __ ] blue ass long snout [ __ ] [ __ ] you cannot even pretend like that was [ __ ] fair uh it was not fair but i can't say i didn't expect it whoa oh my goodness is that me is that what i look like did you create that hell yeah i did now go to town i know every [ __ ] curve on that glorious body i can't believe it i'm getting [ __ ] while eating my own [Laughter] we use all your snowballs it's the why i have them is this part right here [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] it's [ __ ] it's stupid you don't have enough snowballs now sure i do 12. 12 is good you're not gonna make it whatever okay i'll do my best okay i'll do my brews it's coming right back [ __ ] one hey watch it actually hit me that time okay whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa hit it oh my god thank you snowball jesus hey luigi well hey big brother hey big brother fancy meeting you here what a call winky dink hey who me well bro i'm on an adventure i have to rescue princess and claire of the waffle kingdom if someone is on an adventure you sure seem to be chilling mindlessly in this town a lot yeah it's a bad scene and totally real she's been kidnapped by the evil chestnut king i swear well i went to rumble bump volcano and got myself a marvelous compass piece then i walked down totally real street [Laughter] down one two three actual lane it was pretty nutso bro wanna hear what happened no oh you're lost baby but i'll tell you about it some other time huh no [Music] [Laughter] wow oh that's nice i guess then he talks to the blooper yeah me and my brother kiss all the time you know it's just a thing we do and bloopers like wanna hear my story about how i perceive princess what was her name chestnut cajon oh [ __ ] hey welcome back [ __ ] [ __ ] look at the graphics it's beautiful i mean just i kind of wait if you don't move like it kind of looks like he's got faces going in each direction you know what i mean like his hair is a big doofy nose for like a browner looking face like there's the eye and the mouth you know what i mean am i imagining that do you see it no i don't oh god hold on ryan if you guys see it you might have to outline oh my god it's the back of his hair is like the nose like a big dumpy [ __ ] squidward nose oh my god it's just weird the whole every the whole everything is weird let me tell you about a nightmare i had recently oh god uh i'd hate that i was going on a road trip that lasted like hours and i was just with some random girl i didn't know and i was with like a group of people and i didn't really know them but the girl was significant because uh she was going on this road trip to get like a body tattoo from somebody and then we went this is hours and hours it felt like at least that we were just like doing random [ __ ] on the road and just like stopping at mcdonald's and [ __ ] and then uh and then we got to the place to get the body tattoo and she sat down and the guy was like all right take off your shirt and so she took off her shirt and she was sitting in a chair and then like like a like a film it was like trained on the tattoo artist's face and it just like zoomed right in like right in his face he just went barnacles and and then it cut and then it it it whipped panned back to the girl sitting in the chair and her and then [ __ ] like snap zoomed into her and her chest right she didn't have boobs she just had barnacles all over and then her like face stretched open and she just went like and then like the whole world just immediately shifted into this like nightmare scape with this like giant [ __ ] creepy ass like tree monster in the background oh my god and there's there was like this this chinese myth dragon who was like gray and white and had like black spots all over it and a giant creepy ass mouth was just flying directly in my face that's what my nightmares are like wow do you ever see faces of death when you were younger that's of course super scary i went to the i went to the museum of death and they were like playing all of them oh no like a little theater and i was like cool and we sat there for a while and watched it's a [ __ ] huge oh my [Laughter] god [Laughter] for some reason i just saw that as one of those cutscenes yeah it's like wobbly animated and [ __ ] just [ __ ] like a thousand crab claws like from every direction just beating the [ __ ] out of you oh that's a two double that's nice yeah no daddy don't hurt him i'm always sad we should elope it was me well frankie said no he said we should come back and talk to you daddy boss listen i don't care what you do to me i deserve it all for being disloyal but you gotta forgive her forgive your daughter boss that's all i ask no daddy no no no i'm the bad one it's my fool i sound like andrew dice clay having a nervous breakdown if you're gonna punish anyone punish me no boss it's all on me it's my responsibility all the blame right here daddy boss yag enough quiet boat to you francesca my headstrong daughter you used up your last favor long ago and you frankie you were like a son to me this is how you repay that to dying pianta i feel such disappointment in you it's like a poisoned shroom in my gut daddy he just pulls out a [ __ ] silence or pops boss i don't ever want to see your mugs again you hear me get out of myself and also leave yeah both of you i don't care where just go i'm tired of your mugs and your cups and your sauces and your faces that's what you expected me to say believe the balls well that's what i'm saying go do what you want even if it means getting married oh daddy dad no wait i mean boss love thank you so much daddy thank you for your blessing of course i'll make your daughter a happy woman i promise you she'll want for nothing all right get over here [ __ ] we're leaving she'll turn down for what enough already just go go sniff doing cocaine over here francesca seeing you this happy makes me happy too congrats to both of yous frankie this is great it ain't what i promised but hey things turned out okay am i right goodbye daddy farewell and thank you the [ __ ] was that [Applause] well you found my daughter and got her to come back here and also you ruined your desk this desk with your shoes and look at how things turned out what a complete not a soap opera i call them soap boppers no big deal but hey a deal's a deal you could have your blimp ticket like i said a yay you got a blimp ticket who knew that guy's got a smiling idiot she's happy that's good i knew you're the right fan for the job thanks a bunch pally but i don't want to see that gloomy face of yours no more don't ever come back here you got a [ __ ] see ya and i'm getting tired of nintendo i want to buy a ps3 but i can't afford it i don't have money [ __ ] are you talking about it i can't afford a beer i can't afford a ps3 i work at mcdonald's and and i use all my money to pay for my brother's tuition what the [ __ ] are you saying right now what is this so i don't i don't want to know anymore [Laughter] matt ryan can you put up the box of call of duty call of duty shooter man thank you thank you so much uh it's called [ __ ] mr hatcher dear diary oh boy like i've wrote many times before i have a crush on my best friend's dad i can't get mr hatcher out of my mind i don't know what it is but the thought of two males having sex turns me on so much oh god just thinking of his penis against mine makes me so horny wait what i've had these feelings for a long time now and tonight is the night that i'll make my move tonight i will [ __ ] mr hatch what the [ __ ] is my boy pavel luban pablo lubanski what the [ __ ] are you doing man it's a game about [ __ ] mr hatcher dude it sure seems that way sorry just point and click to choose the options yeah that's it it's an easy game to figure out all right apologies to any uh of our younger viewers apologize big apologies to anyone who watches game grumps with your parents this is not gonna be a fun one you should probably click off yeah or [ __ ] stay tuned all right so what do you want to do what do you go to dave hatcher's house masturbate read the diary so you should probably masturbate you think so yeah all right are you gonna where are you gonna let me have my own choose my own adventure okay fine whatever all right all right do whatever okay you can't masturbate you have to save your stephen from mr hatcher all right fine i'll read the diary journal yes please this is my first time journal entry i just bought this diary today with my mom i'm not sure i'm not quite sure what to write yet i don't want to talk about my feelings and stuff because that's kind of gay and i'm definitely not gay but maybe it's good to write down my feelings on paper right now i'm happy i'm going to draw a picture of a bunny okay good bunny last weekend i went to my friend's house who has a hot tub and peed in it constantly because i thought it would be funny knowing that three of my friends were sitting in my pee without knowing it i still can't stop giggling about it last night at brian's house party samantha tried giving me a hand job but i couldn't get it up she tried being all sexy and moaned in my ear but i didn't get turned on at all i don't know what's wrong with me sad crying face i couldn't stop staring at jimmy's legs today in gym class i don't know why maybe i'm just fascinated with his calf muscle octo two days later i was at dave hatcher's house for the game last night and his dad watched it with us he's a really nice guy and he's funny too he told some really funny jokes and i laughed so hard that cooley came out of my nose he's 46 years old but he looks really young i look forward to watching more games with him he's a really cool dad huh he's great i can't stop this thinking game last man this has been an adventurous week for this kid last november first last night i snuck into my brother's room while he was sleeping and i laid beside him and started rubbing his his couch his gooch why don't you read this aaron i don't want my voice out there with these words attached to it i know he was passed out cold because he got pretty wasted that night i played with his balls for a bit and then i kept on trying to put his hand on my knob but he kept moving his hand away am i weird yes yes you are actually i think i'm gay yeah well i mean that's that part's fine it's really the brother thing last night i came home drunk it was really horny the internet was down so i couldn't watch porn i tried to imagine mr hatcher sucking me off and whacking off to that but it wouldn't work my mom kept popping in my head not that that's a problem or anything but it was still kind of weird it's kind of a problem then i saw my cat and decided to try something kinky i put cat food on the tip of my penis and got my cat to lick it off it hurt i will never do that again oh thank you for that helpful diagram to remind us all [Laughter] my god it's beautiful i'm so in love with dave's dad mr hatcher is the best i want to rip off my clothes and my little underwear line me back and just absolutely suck me off until i come down his throat i love his body and i want to suck on his nipples and then let him [ __ ] me hard in the ass [ __ ] i don't care if it bleeds i want our blood and souls to connect oh my god november 10th i just i took a big [ __ ] in the toilet at school today and i didn't flush it because i thought it would be funny for someone to walk in and see is this like the beginning of american psycho and like it just oh my god dear diary like i wrote many times before i have a crush on my best friend's dad i can't get mr hatcher out of my mind i don't know what it is but the thought of this is what he said at the beginning oh okay tonight i will [ __ ] mr hatcher man this kid had a real turnaround from october 15th to november 15th he didn't even know what sex was slappers who are the slappers all right i guess we'll go to dave hatcher's house so to disarm it try going three two one like yellow oh god oh no oh no oh i actually lit the bomb oh [ __ ] it's accidentally lit above well that was some of your finest work we uh let me try maybe something a little different next we'll have to let cigar the [ __ ] [ __ ] the most dangerous of ganon's minions with this ruby i replace your soul you will obey [Music] oh my god oh my god oh the voice actor for the most powerful being in the in the entire game didn't show up today yeah it's okay my eight-year-old daughter is fine don't worry my female substitute third grade teacher will handle this she was in plays so so what's my motivation here oh you are the most fearsome of ganon's warriors okay and what's my motivation oh you're a dog okay [Laughter] oh boy yeah might as well just leave and come back it's going to be one of those days i mean every day is one of those days when we play this [ __ ] game [ __ ] lupe this is a real [ __ ] powerful battle ow oh i mean are you [ __ ] kidding me i s oh my [ __ ] eyes can't handle this i need the crystal of vision don't ms paint me out they make these elaborate animations where like some guy [ __ ] melts yeah and like another guy explodes and then he like [ __ ] flies around the screen and deflates and then link comes over and picks up his his dead balloon carcass golly and then he just gets [ __ ] deleted he gets super compressed and then deleted too much data oh god this is so dumb ah [ __ ] my name is jesus and i like to play basketball oh oh i put i i recorded it did you yeah what well cause you were like i can't remember how this goes so or i'm gonna forget how this goes so i i sang it into my phone really yeah like after you left yeah hold on well that's me dying you know my name is jesus and i like basketball when i'm practicing my laps you know i'm resetting my prayers i can just oh okay oh god what is this supposed to look like it's a uvula is it it's gross like as i'm walking on it somebody's like yeah he sneezes in the whole place but you like get rocketed into wand of gamelon baby penis territory who must die oh [ __ ] it's him again i guess oh no worms i guess wait wait come back yeah [ __ ] you must die [Laughter] no [ __ ] he's gonna play it again and get it you must die i love how he agreed to he's kind of cool looking hello hey you must die yeah welcome yeah you must die will you be staying for dinner you must die here's your gift bag you must die welcome to walmart you must die shalom and happy hanukkah you must have oh link it's great to see you again you must die oh what do i do with them again oh [ __ ] i don't know everywhere dude what am i supposed to do i'll tell you what you're supposed to do you must die you eat you ate raw chicken you must die these tapeworms will assist aaron oh god i haven't seen you since high school how long has it been ah 15 16 years you almost died [Laughter] thank infinite warfare this is charles speaking you must die hello and welcome to moviefone if you know the name of the movie you'd like to see please press the first three letters of it now you must no you must die [Laughter] now [Music] [Music] [Laughter] what the [ __ ] oh god that's bad that was bad that was i was bad news bears all right we're gonna pause the episode and get right back to that point see you then agent if that rocket launches with an active virus millions will die and you're gonna be a big dick and everyone's gonna know it everywhere everyone's gonna think you're a huge tool oh that yeah there you go are you [ __ ] kidding me are you [ __ ] kidding me how am i such a cool all right we're gonna pause the episode one more time unbelievable dude yeah oh [ __ ] k here comes attempt number seven here this is this is it this is the one you might want to get your gun ready oh boy here we go here it goes there you go uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh oh that's not good oh dude please drop it please drop it in the center yes yes oh thanks [Applause] [ __ ] you wait it's cool it's nothing it's cool well done agent there will 150 people died in that explosion good job a bit of bad news yeah buddy you did it you did it i'm proud of you i think you need a little break from this game i think you might need a mental it's just some time i think you i think you need some time time what is time i don't know oh god next time on game grumps all right love you guys sorry i had to watch that and congratulations on watching that my favorite was uh it was when you dropped the uh the cat oh was it your favorite when you dropped all the things yeah oh great that was the best part now yep that thing was like [ __ ] inches away from hitting you good lord look at the skulls on the wall they're like wow i mean we're dead but we've got disco fever i can still get down oh my god oh thank god did it did it did it she's like when's that [ __ ] [ __ ] going to shut up mommy mommy yeah hey hey hey mommy mommy mommy me hey baby i just nestled up next to you where is she jesus zelda i can't find her i better leave yeah [ __ ] it we're done we're done here [Laughter] oh [ __ ] that's not the noise i expected aaron can you really not talk to her what the [ __ ] are you doing i gotta use uh the power glove to punch her into life wait wait hold on a second okay i'm [ __ ] waiting with baited crash at the golden shield oh okay oh [ __ ] why'd you do that i just saved you from ganon you did not well he [ __ ] totally did don't [ __ ] block him look already koridai is returning to harmony the birds are singing isn't it beautiful golly oh my god you link are the hero of corey i guess that's worth a kiss huh huh i won oh my [ __ ] god i guess that's worth a kiss huh [ __ ] off [Laughter] this is what sex is i guess ah well [ __ ] i mean high five again that's it looks like your disc is dirty oh my god no what a [ __ ] harrowing experience you dare bring light into my life oh now i get to watch the beginning again i won't even be in this game does his finger go under his mustache for a minute there i swear it does of course there's so many [ __ ] errors in this can you uh hmm how can we licks this is my favorite part i'll grab my stuff and he's like no there's not enough time and she's like what the [ __ ] are you talking about i mean her for like four hours wait when did she get kidnapped oh like halfway through oh i get okay i remember he's like he's like oh i've got you zelda and she's like you do not i guess she's sassy all right well thanks for joining us oh my god nightmare oh wow guess what zelda's adventure is next golly if i can find it is it it's probably rarer than this one i'm sure it is i've never heard of it before well let me look it up on ebay real quick see i'll see how rare it is okay see how much i have to shell out for that [ __ ] nightmare yeah was this oh by the way was this game 400 well spent oh sure write that off as a business uh no yeah it's great business expenses good stuff holy crap zelda's adventure cdi let's let's check this out zelda's adventure 200. it sure is good for god hold on check out check out the hand on the mustache is what all true warriors right oh oh no maybe not maybe not maybe it's just it was like a fist that was really close a jump frame yeah there's only one on ebay and it is 200 [ __ ] buy it dude it's 155 pounds hold on i gotta see if it's in english no okay it's coming from the uk so it's got to be in england that's a good sign great please no yeah yeah yeah great the guy i guess i'm getting it zelda's adventure coming soon to a game grumps near you see you later yeah eat it oh [ __ ] oh oh this is awkward oh oh oh oh oh oh god run run run run [Laughter] what the [ __ ] was that outstanding good job and the bees survived they're bomb resilient bees dude wow they're really tough to kill those exoskeletons that's true all right they have their skeletons on the outside what is it oh teach me baby hey it's me again toadette so nice to see you again mario maybe a little more scene not heard i just got off of recording my first album it's an audiobook of all game of thrones [Laughter] they call it the shrieking sally i don't know why let's practice it's a little hard hold down b and rotate okay oh yeah there you go the key is to rotate oh this is great yeah do it did you you like that that was [ __ ] hot you're so awesome no i got it oh she's like blushing and [ __ ] oh she is she's like wow you mastered the super hammer god damn it with the super hammer move you can break even big blocks like this okay i guess it disappeared before you could break it but you could use a superhammer in battle too good luck with the quest super handling my panties said nudes so hammer whack 2005 oh oh god oh god sick air bro that was awesome [ __ ] yelled man i'll see you there why don't you just give me the paraglider so i could go there jesus what an [ __ ] welcome to what was once the happiest game and now is in retrospect now that we know more information it's kind of [ __ ] up shamu shamu's just a title you know oh the the so there's they the son of shamu like inherits shamu's title right yeah so i think they actually the original shamu was shamu but then had a kid named like coda or some [ __ ] what and then uh what shamu is someone shut that [ __ ] down though yeah yeah yeah nice shamu junior yeah so it's just it's just shamu is the name of the [ __ ] whatever got it but anyway it's nice also jacob anderson's here oh yeah hi there our own personal shampoo yeah yeah i don't know what yeah cause he's a serious charming beautiful creature that shows up rarely i don't know [Laughter] i don't think they'll ever go they're just always there you can die yeah i think you have to keep going now he's got to go i don't want you i want to kill him i should be able to do at once swim through swim gracefully this is a krill bubble if i'd have paid money for this game and it wouldn't let me kill those things yeah i wouldn't be happy i don't want to do another puzzle what do you know who sent us that charlie bean well [ __ ] you charlie b the actual name on okay no no sorry [ __ ] your actual name i mean thank you michael fassbender a long time fan of the show i loved you and prometheus and thank you for sending us shamu's deep sea adventure i love you in this great movie it was great yeah i'm sure you were super stoked about it i never saw it yeah no one why would i see the assassin's creed movie hey this is this is kind of like the home improvement game oh god did you watch that yeah i did what a [ __ ] show yeah [ __ ] you want to play that absolutely not absolutely someone made a version of our playthrough of that like where every time you do that aaron it plays at twice the speed that's amazing is it like a minute long yeah it ends up being like two and a half minutes you're really like where am i [ __ ] going down left you gotta go down left caves you got no [ __ ] no you lost 100 points in all your agility you gotta go down oh you're going the wrong way what did you mean you got to go back [ __ ] you no trials and tribulations of shamu yeah down and left there you go this way there we go whatever and then a new story can you think of a good one yeah shoot come in my ass too yeah oh yeah wait no it's uh no it would be like no yeah cause people people take porno titles and do that with it so it's like roses are red violets or blue come in my gaping butthole too oh man there's also one there's like one where like it's a it's a video of a turtle having sex with like a sandal and so like someone did roses or red violets or blue sexy turtle stud bangs hot teen shoe [Laughter] what tea you're the [ __ ] fast dude i yeah we can definitely pick up some [ __ ] for you i like the tony hawk's pro skater ones what are those like roses red violets or blue tony hawks per skater too and then like uh open the door get on the floor tony hawk's pro skater four there's one for every single skater it's so stupid roses are red fine it's a yellow [ __ ] [ __ ] this [ __ ] the kraken bro you're gonna get thousands of retweets on that yeah yeah absolutely absolutely [Music] [Laughter] hey inhale my [ __ ] to your wife but you have to say it in that voice it has to be like inhale my [ __ ] suzy no never of course not next time i'm game grumps danny wins danny wins wow mouse holes mouse holes thank you mouse chow for coming up with this [ __ ] mouse chill oh your mouse hole stop [ __ ] me all right bye bye oh my god nailed it and so you nailed it every year on [ __ ] your 14th god damn it my phone just died die yeah it just went into sleep mode okay oh i gotta find the text again [Applause] every year on february 14th daddy cupid gets ready to aim and fire his arrows at your lover's [ __ ] dan you know the way to my heart make sure you let them know that you're the one and only sugar daddy saint valentine did not die so you could be alone today send this message to every one of your main chocolate truffle hoe bags or else daddy cupid will not strike your true love or give you sugar daddy cummies sugar daddy cummies oh god that's the worst it's my favorite snack got distracted oh no i got invaded by dark beard sneezy anus [Laughter] damn it hold on let me sneezy me wave hello hi oh they stopped yeah they're gonna wait good manners oh yeah i'll clap clap clap all right yeah didn't expect that did anus you [ __ ] anus oh my heart's nemesis i'm trying to use this weapon i don't normally use and then back oh no bergy how could you do how could you do to do that doo doo doo [Laughter] i forgot his name is cocky god what a [ __ ] crazy ass show that was well i don't know cocky how could i do that have i already done that these are [ __ ] amazing uh oh what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] did you enjoy that did you enjoy that tastiness oh you're mad you're playing maya now you're not even doing the you're not even getting the one that gets you the beans back you're just you're playing out of spite watch this [Laughter] did you see that [ __ ] why don't you go [ __ ] yourself dad or i'll do it for you whoa it was the best moment of it when i just looked over at you and you were like funny funny stuff and then you just put your headphones on did i really yes it was like perfect timing because he made some joke that was like hey we never make fun of japs anymore do we and then i just like turn to look at you like to give you like a oh boy wow funny stuff you [ __ ] killed me oh my god we had a great time on that tour that was the texas tour yeah it was that was fun fun that was a really good time and back together yeah we got the band we got we got canucks and lord terry and back for another go all right yeah we could do this canucks hello well she's she's here oh okay and then i'm just waiting for tyrion to show up oh oh because he'll be oh no yeah oh i don't have mine is he gonna show up yo tyrion where you at dude we're doing a show here there you are nope that's not him i guess i'll just i will honor his dragony kind uh oh sneezy anus is back oh god not sneezy anus god damn it all right fight sneezy anus [ __ ] sneezy anus dude oh is he on your side are you gonna help me let's go oh my god sneezy anus is on our side let's do it yeah wow he saw the light yeah i hope i hope so is he gonna know he's just gonna stand there is he gonna come through hey sneezy sneezy sneezy oh my [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh he's hey he sold us out stevie i can't believe it no ebay sneezing oh he's here no he's here he's the hero he's the hero we deserve [Laughter] oh my god sneezy he's this hero my anus deserves yeah dizzy this is amazing what a redemption story oh my god stevie i'm gonna start crying dude this is so beautiful i'm so crying and you know he's good because he [ __ ] whooped you oh yeah he wrecked me dude yeah oh oh oh oh oh my god we [ __ ] destroyed him yes steven all right everybody back away come on canucks you're better than that oh you [ __ ] you anus you know i love you yeah you you are one crazy anus don't [ __ ] this up man [Laughter] [Music] yeah oh my god he's already down to half health whoa whoa whoa don't get cocky i know but sneezy so strong don't get sneezy kid look at it look at his sword it does so much damage nice anus kid don't get sneezy we got him he's freaking out oh my god i love you and to a lesser degree connects he put his [ __ ] head on dude [Laughter] that was what a way to end this good lord well i gotta go get my souls holy [ __ ] dude i'm gonna miss you sneezy god the only way that could have been better is if uh [ __ ] what his name like mystic taco or something like that summon fire keeper what is that what i want to do i don't know i gotta link the first flame yeah do that first do the stuff that definitely won't get you killed i'm touching it now you have to pee you just missed your pants you're like oh and then again oh and i put out the flame with my pee oh no she's a girl there wouldn't be a wouldn't be a forward stream like that a downward sort of trickle yeah sort of a sort of a fire sprinkler kind of nonsense well whatever it's fine look at that that's awesome yeah it's pretty cool dear diary i met an anus today it was sneezy and together we saved the world at first we were like i hate you but then it was beautiful yeah the music we danced a slow dance to link the first flame oh that's that is that is that the end you just sit there i mean pretty much right i linked to the first flame dude dark souls is not it isn't known for its yeah epic ending it's really not um tasty [ __ ] stars these sweepsy sweeps they keep me moist they make me moist my moisture is out of control oh baby away every day oh my god the tornado is so good on this level i wanna be with you night and day oh baby oh baby please i'm just gonna [ __ ] take my losses jesus once you've got the tornado on this level it's [ __ ] domination oh my god oh wow look at that you're still winning even without the [ __ ] six point lead huh it's fine you haven't done anything hey we've made characters and [ __ ] for the people wait i did i missed it oh it's okay i don't know i missed it too so we're on the i love that they assume that you're playing this game and you give a [ __ ] yeah like if you're playing this game you don't have for one you don't have three nunchucks that's true because you could probably afford a better game two all right two players [ __ ] no i'm just gonna go with i hate it so much already yeah oh you got to make more [ __ ] [Laughter] you just hit guess okay just name them oh my god name no oh man we're gonna get so confused look exactly the same all right we're gonna bother to make a swamp monster like last time like that that surgery [ __ ] with me i i never had a problem doing this i've done this twice i have a problem uh oh we're back after a long hiatus by the way yeah in case no one noticed um or we didn't mention it in the last episode maybe we did but i i had to get a little minor facial surgery yeah how'd that go it went great yeah i got the thing out cool what was the thing my left eye i was like doctor i really want to wear a pirate patch but i don't feel like i have the right yeah until i get this eye removed don't worry no i had um what was weird they thought it was like a little tumor like a little benign tumor on the side of my face and then when i woke up after the surgery they were like yeah it wasn't what we thought it was at all it was like like a cyst or something but like equally benign but they were like yeah uh so anyway all those things we told you uh when we were prepping you for the surgery we were totally wrong and we got in there and we're like huh that's what that is i was like oh while my face was open you mean that's when you were getting casual surprises oh that is really something you don't want to you don't want to get surprised about it's very weird it's just like you're getting a heart transplant you open it up and it's like oh he has two hearts i didn't know that we can just mush them together into one big heart because yeah we can cut them in half we can cut the bad parts out of one heart and then the good parts out of the other heart and just replace that makes sense then yeah and then yeah and then [Laughter] [Laughter] oh no oh no that won't work what am i going to do wait no maybe i can try this excuse me oh wait i'm going to clip you i'm going to clip a little bit clip it off try that shakshi thanks oh oh whoa no no hey yeah and yeah there you go and yeah perfect oh no wait wait if we keep the momentum going maybe it'll work okay so if i just there's some physicists at home who are super pissed right now here we go here we go okay here it comes [Music] hey oh my god it was so close hook shot [ __ ] class i think snip my tip yeah i think i'll win snip my tip you think so yeah there we go all right all right here we go we got this okay [Music] i think that's the problem no that's it that's it that's how we do it i think we just need the u-shape watch watch watch you're not watching all right well all right here we go again yes yes yes yes queen slay [ __ ] no no we got this watch this okay done slay select all right get it we did it before we did it all right i swear look look oh [ __ ] easy that's changing things is that good uh reform oh i need to get you okay so duck there we go that's what she needed oh yeah oh that's the wrong one no really oh dang it i was like sweet we totally did it okay yeah we go ah yeah yeah dude yeah dude good job deliver me from [ __ ] evil bro all right hey hey hey come and get a [ __ ] oh i need to snip you yeah you got to snoop me bro okay give me a little give me a little you need the j yeah give me a little j no that's too much j that's too much no i think that's just the right amount of check let's try it [Music] get [ __ ] get [ __ ] teal fish god damn it [Laughter] the fish dude he's fine he's fine everything's good get [ __ ] oh no oh what did you do i was uh what did you [ __ ] do yeah it's a little trickier than uh it looks one will just be resting there in the in the in the here you want to save him save his life who the little blue guy oh yeah he's right there he's right there all right do it as your last act no he's right there put him back oh back in the ocean home is we're gonna eat these things [Laughter] uh personified skyward sword in your [Laughter] [ __ ] you you're you're a doughy pampered snob and no one likes you oh my god i feel so bad at laughing at my own jokes oh it's so funny though it's it's been years so it's okay oh jesus holy [ __ ] that was something that makes me want to make milo gear awesome five no do it [ __ ] lola's lowly slowly okay cool all right so check this [ __ ] out now okay oh [ __ ] you want to turn it right yeah but i gotta get it so there you go oh no oh [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] [ __ ] ghana dude you blew it it's it's so [ __ ] janky dude you blew it it's janky as [ __ ] now it's all like rotated and [ __ ] i don't know what i'm doing dude [ __ ] blowing it is what you're doing god it's tough oh no what the hell is happening i didn't do anything now it's all crooked i've been holding the controller the same way this whole time [ __ ] it's not straight at all ah i wonder if adam sandler has anything to say about this [Laughter] all right you get one more shot one more shot this episode yeah well it keeps [ __ ] shifting it's uh motion controls are so dank oh god you know what i don't want to hear what [ __ ] excuses oh you try it [ __ ] this [ __ ] it oh you're getting annoyed don't just play it super cool i'm trying to do it all the time in the world i don't want something there's a show it's gotta be yeah but you know the show is ending on this one way or the other so ah it keeps rotating i'm not rotating the controller really [ __ ] motion controls remember how i said i could there's plenty i could complain about in this game well guess what what the [ __ ] is happening we have a winner my god i'm watching you do this with your hands and it's it's not like look like you're doing that much it's it's i'm not and it's like going crazy are you seeing this yeah i'm seeing it it's rotating like nuts what is happening next time i gave this god damn it see you then boom effect [ __ ] well yeah at least i'm sort of [ __ ] you from the squid oh yeah i'm squid blocking you i'm calamar all right i'm ink blocking you there you go yeah that's the one it's just scrolling through squid vernacular so many words [Music] that's what you guys should have done when you modded this game just give it yeah fart sounds terrible sound effects yeah [Music] that's good i was gonna steal your girl but i didn't [ __ ] need to don't steal those are my favorite moments of this game when you're in where you're like oh yes sucka no [Laughter] don't do the thing i just did uh that would be a bad i don't think you should do that where are you gonna go where are you gonna end up i'm gonna bounce around for a little bit cool it's gonna be cool worthless pang if i told you my plan would you hear me [Laughter] yes i'm gonna say i'm gonna give it a hard maybe well then my plan is simple [Music] bring it in and out for if ever it's bro nobody says it's true yeah oh no have done that if obama like year eight he was just like year eight well this uh this is giving me an erection being a president is a it's a very hard erection yeah it actually arouses me very much thank you american people thank you or uh elected me as president i've never gotten my rocks off so hard as i stand here before you today with a large thunder resurrection you think people would be like yeah all right yeah i get it i can't blame him [ __ ] dude if i was the leader of the free world i'd be pretty hard myself you may think that uh because i've uh i'm constantly stressed out and busy i uh can't get it up not so in fact i've never been more aroused in my life yeah i've never had so much awesome president sex in fact i've never had president sex before now that i have uh i don't know if i'm gonna be able to turn it down eight years simply isn't enough [Laughter] is that you telling the story of this round to somebody else and then he got the electrical thing and he was like it was crazy bro you should have been there you can watch it online [Laughter] oh goodness how do i how do i turn the thing oh you hold oh there it is as i stand here before you today in more ways than one yeah go for it go for it bro i'm gonna do you one better and bro for it i'm uh i'm gonna pray i'm gonna pre-algebra i'm gonna pray dude i'm gonna [ __ ] pray [Laughter] holy [ __ ] how am i supposed to [ __ ] golf at a time like this god if i ever found out that [ __ ] like obama has seen an episode of game grumps and he was like that's funny stuff i'm gonna [ __ ] pray i like i like it when they say i'm gonna [ __ ] pray danny and arnold i love those two guys they're hilarious i was the president of the united states i'm not anymore but uh but man i can still laugh yeah can still laugh at uh two grown men talking about their jizz well not exactly they're just but the stuff that comes out before they just i had a dream just tell me tell me what dream [ __ ] this reminded you oh i just had a dream that i was hanging out with obama and clinton oh and like a hotel room and i was just like hey guys what's up they were like oh man it's good to take a load off every so often and clinton was like i gotta take a load off myself good in yes oh jesus yeah baby come on man that was a great shot then wow thank you president obama much better than that other guy arnold i don't much care for him he always gets angry yeah you're a partner darren do some work there that is his character i guess people say they don't like it but they actually do get a [ __ ] pre-dude it really helps the dynamic that [ __ ] killed me i think we've played this level before this level feels familiar too yeah totally so i'm not gonna [ __ ] play it all hopefully we haven't played all those levels if we have [ __ ] it these uh no we definitely haven't played all these levels okay this is just like a mix of different ones that this guy has done yeah boy yeah boys what did you say which what are you talking about i don't know man i couldn't tell you brah oh feels good to be on vacation it feels good to pre get to catch up on game grumps episodes [Laughter] oh my god michelle and the kids are up there surfing in the in the sun if th but me i uh i got to catch up on those uh kirby's dream course michelle get in here yeah michelle they're doing an impression of me [Laughter] god it's hilarious it sounds just like me they're doing that thing when they're talking about how they're gonna pray it's like my favorite bit it's like my favorite bed i'm gonna pray dude [ __ ] pray oh boy holy [ __ ] here we go oh my god nope don't don't don't oh nice take out my umbrella good job with the umbrella dumb ass you're an [ __ ] i'd comment but uh everyone knows me i'd love to like comment and subscribe but you guys are [ __ ] idiots uh i do have a troll account [Laughter] because i should use it such an occasion the president would have a troll account absolutely well this current one absolutely would probably is regular okay i can't trace my ip address [Laughter] the [ __ ] president yeah [ __ ] they'll never know obama rules 98. could possibly be made nobody would ever guess hey welcome back to game groups all right welcome back obama's favorite [ __ ] yeah barack a lot of people don't know this barack obama's favorite [ __ ] show yeah not even internet show just a show just show just his favorite [ __ ] show you think you like the golden girls bam baby what the [ __ ] you [ __ ] it's what you just did to me you didn't know i didn't knock you off the stage [ __ ] it's like a long way down it's far i gotta pray [Music] oh thank god come on i was afraid come the [ __ ] dude i'll take the bullet i just don't want it to be one of these [ __ ] things where like the last hole is on a slidey diagonal yeah but it's like a [ __ ] nightmare dude you're so [ __ ] good at this i am getting better i don't know how why i'm so [ __ ] you're not [ __ ] i think i i think i just have a savant style like idiot uh gift for this game oh boy all right all right [Music] oops that's too far oh no whoa i don't know how that happened i mean either but yeah cool fell off the side i don't even give a [ __ ] i don't give a flying fiddle uh aaron uh doesn't even give a [ __ ] i love that about him he's his own man [Laughter] he would have stood up to congress no i don't understand those why he stopped animating [Laughter] oh my god that is [ __ ] hilarious he he gets on us for [ __ ] that the fans get up oh that'd be amazing you know he didn't even know how to pick up stuff in wind waker right on the screen just read you idiot but i love them danny uh you know there are two different kinds of blocking and mario and paper mario you uh [ __ ] kidding me here's the bad idiot he pulls all your life what are you a dumb ass i love him though you only get three ultra shrooms in the entire game the [ __ ] is wrong with him i should not know that how does he not know that thing about this game he's never played reading that i'd walk through that sucks ass yeah i didn't know how to be president before i was president but i figured it out a little paper mario strategy couldn't hurt yeah jeez get with it this guy's dumb as [ __ ] oh my god i can say that i was president for eight years this has been one of my favorite days of my life oh boy people are probably yelling at them right now for doing the obama voice for too much that's right they sure do milk a joke dry don't they it's one thing i hate about those guys just because it makes them laugh it should make me laugh [ __ ] them uh i think we found a new dale gribble yes oh my god it's my favorite boy jesus christ [ __ ] cluck your [ __ ] we getting [ __ ] political here now you talking about ah you [ __ ] [ __ ] god damn it right after i got everything done suck my ass all right we're gonna hit pause real fast god just [ __ ] in my mouth already just get it over with apparently you don't care about foreplay okay here we go yes yes damn it yeah cool a wink it's what i wanted well now that he's gone [Music] [Laughter] oh gosh just [ __ ] guys [ __ ] i don't wanna waste my bomb arrow on this [ __ ] okay oh top 10 my personal favorite deaths of yours from this game i want to waste my bomb hours i waste my life i don't care yeah i don't waste my bomb arrows on my own body blowing myself up to death oh man it's a great idea yeah that's how ever that's all the pro players plays all day oh look at how [ __ ] fabulous i am dude i have like birds and [ __ ] on me god damn i'm like a gucci handbag start swinging oh that's not a good sign did we start [Laughter] oh that's way easier oh my god it's so much better oh oh mine's like super simple too thank you jesus wow look at that float there we go i'm gonna go ahead and um boop right into the moon rough oh i have like a similar one i have like a standard golf game one but that's not going to be an issue look at it go look at it go oh [ __ ] make it make it make it make it make a make it oh i can't get there oh my chest oh i'm in the [ __ ] snow dude it's not the snow it's moon juice and the rough moon juice yeah it's the moon baby forgetting i have to get there on my own i'm just like yeah like oh god who's got time for this well your robot's cool yeah i look i love them i love them way more than the other one it's like very vultrony it's like a combination of voltron in the original megazord for sure an iron yeah like the one with the eye patch he's like that's right it's been a while since i've seen golf like this um [ __ ] i gotta like really whoa way too much power sort of a [ __ ] oh no no i'm like trapped behind a rock dude yeah wait if i you're headed to the grain if i bounce it off this rock maybe that'll work it doesn't matter because i won what yay five dogs they're adorable there's one with a pompadour [Laughter] all right next time on game grumps all right we're gonna we're gonna finish this it's the war between cute empress and five dogs yeah i'm feeling this one it's so ridiculous frederick franklin bill gene and stevenson oh now i'm in the other [ __ ] dude what the [ __ ] that's [ __ ] up i never hurt you once yes suck that i got [ __ ] lasers my dad works at nintendo what button is that uh l1 uh l1 you have a sword apparently and then like a bouncy ball oh my my sword is cooling down as you can hear by my by the barks of the damned that's going in that's going in it is not it is so going in hey [ __ ] wow where did it go oh no it hit biodome debris i whoa what did you do i don't know i didn't do anything you pressed buttons i didn't goddamn [ __ ] brent signed into my account from what is he doing [ __ ] [ __ ] where is he i don't know he's not here he's not at the [ __ ] oh i hate this guy he [ __ ] signs me in his god damn it all right uh which one wait wait which [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] are you signing the cr you're controlling it wait you're you're wait oh my god all right next time on game grumps we'll figure this out [ __ ] brent you're blowing it for everybody swear to god this [ __ ] guy like oh you know the cast was a family like i'm starting to feel that yeah totally totally and like any family you have the one shitty member who everyone hates and that's aaron okay well next time on game games this guy is just talking to me and i'll i don't give a [ __ ] bran lee the [ __ ] lost son of brandon lee just made of fiber [Laughter] i was thinking more like like the son of brandy the 90s oh yeah yeah bran i was thinking like bruce lee's failed cereal line [Laughter] bee like milk milk flows and it can crash into a delicious bowl of bran lee milk is mucus forming all right no let's take it from the top bruce don't say the mucus thing yeah that's bad that's bad don't look at the finger or you will miss all of the delicious glory [Laughter] brandly all right next time i gave grabs bye bruce who's my hero dude bruce lee is my hero i know he ugh i know he is he's my hero too so i can confirm okay yeah that it is every time we get logged out it is [ __ ] brent it is brent it's brent from his apartment it's our own manager [ __ ] up our show that he manages from a distance he's like and he's like arguing he's like why are you recording on a saturday night like why are you using my account like that's his [ __ ] excuse why are you recording on a saturday because we're filming a [ __ ] youtube red show five days a week you know that because you negotiated our contracts ass hair all right we're back we're [ __ ] back oh jeez it's christmas here we go okay here we go i got it nope nope i got it no you don't i got it i got it [Applause] i was trying to zap your ball with my laser eyes it didn't work one of my favorite sentences you've ever said stress oh my [ __ ] god all right now now we're good now we got this game oh son of a [ __ ] dude all right even you [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] that's why michael does no this sucks this is 100 foot get in there oh boom jeffrey oh jeffrey is awesome holy [ __ ] this has been delicious no it hasn't been this game is agonizing when you lose isn't it it really is i just want my eye lasers to do [ __ ] something yeah one single lensed pair of sunglasses for the front of my belt that was the dumbest death [Laughter] oh god matt ryan can we see that again in slow motion please to some [ __ ] great music that was uh what the hell did you do shoot the arrow into the railing yeah but it wasn't aimed at it like the [ __ ] did i know it was gonna do that oh man i didn't know oh oh sorry bud yeah walk it off [ __ ] how about some ice you like that do you like that oh cool i froze his gun oh that's good what a dingus yeah got that going for me and [ __ ] you in the eyehole that wind blight voice reminded me of this like comedy sketch i did in new york with my uh my first improv group um what were they called we were called cartel it actually had uh julie cats in it who later introduced me and ninja brian um but it was me and dan hodapp who's a very funny comedian and we were like my grandson just graduated from harvard and he was like they were like competing grandmas you know and he's like my grandson graduated from harvard summa [ __ ] laude you know like we're just keep one-upping each other until like one of us was like my grandson is a warlock he makes potions he could turn your grandson into a hawk i thought we never did anything with that but we totally should have written that as a sketch it was funny and so dumb my green song is the wolf my grandson is nazgul ruth owl destroyer of worlds they're all like knitting while they talk you may have heard of him in the necronomicon if you took the time to read it of course [Laughter] oh goodness good job buddy yeah dude we got him you kicked that dude's ass we saved the the butt tree ah and here comes my my beautiful heart my grandson has two hearts and four stomachs like a cow if one fails he can just rely on the other one and if it doesn't he can donate it to a charity of his choice preferably one that gives kids heart transplants not one that just gives clothing all right next time i gave grumps see you later boys everyone at the red crown everyone at the uh the the coats for kids campaign was like what do we do with this disgusting heart it's filthy [Music] i guess we'll just wrap it in some clothes [Laughter] oh since i pressured due to cutting i was not sure you'd really come through and please things are going well ever since the strange occurrence there have been a lot of monsters around here be careful as you proceed and hurry all of my sparrows arrows are actually anxiously awaiting your arrival bye hits his head against the rocket face down finally woke up from my concussion i had the other punk damn after you get that first concussion the next couple just come real easy nicely done dude yeah all right well yeah it's cause i'm awesome yeah what are you gonna do some people are just born with it whoops maybe it's maybelline i died maybe it's maybelline this was irrelevant in case it's the maybe he's born with it though maybe she's born with it maybe it's me please maybe it's maybelline you [ __ ] idiots yeah do you ever for one second consider the possibility that it might be maybelline frank it's like an olympic gold medalist maybe he was born with it what the [ __ ] yeah that was that was pretty close to the snow yeah it's um that's one thing i very do very clearly do remember about being a kid like the repetitive thought from like five or six onward that like thinking like i i understand more than adults are giving me credit for you know yeah like i remember feeling talked down to a lot yes um and i i also remember thinking like you know when i'm an adult i'm not gonna treat kids the way i'm being treated now but it's by the time you get to like where i'm at in life now it's so fuzzy you know like it's it's so hard to like remember that part of your life super clearly plus it's so easy to have that reaction to somebody who's like so so naive or uneducated about something right you're just like how could you not know this yes like let me talk down to you as a result of that yeah yeah well because i mean you also hear like a lot of like very innocent stuff happen and you you don't know where to like you don't know where to start crushing dreams you know yeah like i i i was such a believer as a little kid in in world peace you know and uh and i still i still do believe deep down that like most people are good you know like if if they don't turn out good they're certainly born good and then circumstances and things like you know lead them to make bad choices and hurt other people but like but i was so sure when i was a kid like that like oh we can absolutely we can work it out like all people of the world can like come together under one thing but then you get older and you just realize like man they're just there's just too many people out there that are like real [ __ ] you know and like they just want to destroy everything um and it's just like who knows if they were born that way but it's certainly in their nature now you know right um and and all you can do is try to be the best you can and create the most good around you like and have as much of a positive influence as you can but like if a kid came up to me and be like dude like if my nephews came up and said like do you believe world peace could really happen you know i i don't know what i'd tell them i wouldn't be like i don't know the guy in charge of x country is a real [ __ ] douche and he's like you know it just doesn't matter what anyone else does he's gonna be a douche you know it's a it's a it's a tough thing you don't want to you don't want to crush idealism at too young an age you know that's not what he's really asking you don't think so no what i mean i think you answered your own question before you even got into it you you gave your own philosophy and how the people you yourself and the people around you and all that stuff right that's that's what he's asking right and primarily i believe if world peace is going to be achieved it's going to be through tossing salad like your name romaine i feel like nikki was really onto something she nailed it yeah just like she got nailed by that tongue [Laughter] just like she got tongue punched in the brown eye susie taught me that phrase and it kills me oh but seriously man like if if some kid's coming it was like those guys you could just be like all you can ever hope for is to be happy and be and make the people around you happy and right it's like you don't need to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders totally join the the party's totes over here bro the party is toots over here bro bro do you know where the party is bro um do i have to spit do you have to give you a facebook invite because the party is not over there it's over here to the party the invite to the party where the [ __ ] is he [Laughter] sent him a facebook invite and he said maybe that means yes and yes means you're desperate oh my god yeah the may they should have never made maybe uh an option this is it's such a [ __ ] like top out yeah why would you ever say yes because [ __ ] just happens yeah noodle odd noodle hot that nude a lot to get out of my soup all right next time i got so dumb so [ __ ] dumb dude all right next time how to get in there this is a miso soup me so hungry but not for noodles wonders helped you want to stop rampaging you can easily kind of now get out i have to poop thank you link truly our goal is the same i just i mean we've already established this but i really like rubbing it in muzu's face we are great friends i consider you my number one friend you're the best here take this stingray hat and put it on your head i'll call you mooser surely you do not really intend to give this outside of the zorro armor countless generations of zoro princesses have gifted that armor to the one they have sworn to marry son bring this weird stingray thing outside nuzu dispose of music for my amusement park all right next time again all right we're out here bye oh goodness what exactly is my clothes and what's my skin here i look in the mirror every morning confused just not really sure what do i remove when i shower you cannot fool me with such a fence of a lie not this sora how could lady miffer possibly have feelings for a hillian like him he's so young and supple fit the facts are clear he remembers nothing even when he looks upon princess miffer's statue did you just jack it in front of us like fully to completion what is the matter link are you unwell were you unable to complete you're quivering like a hatchling whatever is the matter i remember [Applause] do not mistake me for a fool hillian there is no way you remembered her just now when it is most convenient i mean he is pretty little yeah he's like the most reasonable guy right now in any case without any solid proof i cannot possibly take you at your word if you have any such proof now is the time to show it do so and i i i shall tell you how to get those shark arrows yes as well as anything else you wish to know as well as anything else like anything i'll tell you that one thing and all things like all right just you could have just said all things lucky for you we have proof oh i gotta put on my zora armor and it like fits perfectly you know you know how it goes i got the zora armor that you wore after you got out of bed with me muzu look closely at the clothes link is worried huh you really think changing your clothes is going to make me you're gorgeous your abs and pecs not well defined but definitely nubile whatnot that is the zora armor lady miffer made that by hand and yet it fits you perfectly what is the meaning of this now you understand do you not they were [ __ ] like crazy [ __ ] why don't you get that we've been hinting at it for the last hour god now you know who her heart belonged to and who she made this special armor for she wrote his hilly dick hilly dick oh [ __ ] knight his elven dick throughout the land from the seas of the zorro to the mountains of la neru she rode that dick until all the cows and other creatures came home oh my god that's too funny the fact that this armor fits linked perfectly should be proof enough that mifa made it for him and him alone you have always disliked hillian's even before the great calamity that is why mytha never told you now you know you must promise to help him save us all muzu for god's sake this is the man who drained his nugs in mipha all right fine i get it jesus don't have to spell it out for me i've drained my nugs once or twice in my day obviously just into the sea though i mean [ __ ] look at me i am a nightmare i never would have imagined she would make that special armor for one such as he you [ __ ] [Laughter] it's the perfect look i do not approve of you asking for help from alien but i suppose this is our only option at this point i am a proud zora that means i must take responsibility for my unwarranted behavior towards you as promised i shall tell you where you could collect as many shock arrows as you need a tall mountain over yonder it is called polymus mountain plumas look at it look at the word i'm saying and then say it and there you will also find shatterback point they made a movie about it it was really gay but shalimak point break i i was thinking more about uh brokeback mountain oh yeah a terrifying creature has made its home up there this awful beast shoots volley after volley of shock arrows even a single one could be fatal to azor ah why don't you just tell them about the shock arrow storage we have you must mean that lino he's a man beast that one that beast does indeed wield shock arrows but we literally have a bunch laying in the back i warn you link he's a maniac maniac on the floor and he's dancing like he's never danced before he is vicious to be sure i am certain link will rise to the challenge in order to appease the divine beast i estimate that you'll leave at least 20 shark arrows do you think you can gather that many no i don't think so [ __ ] still working on gathering wood so i can pay off the mortgage on my house why do you still doubt him muzu you have no doubt he will be i have no doubt now i'm all confused a little freudian slip right there okay link let's get moving the fastest way to polymes mountain is to ascend that waterfall east of the domain that zora armor should come in handy just swim to the waterfall vision and then go up the waterfall from there i'll wait at the east reservoir lake get 20 arrows wonderful together we shall stop that divine beast's onslaught what the [ __ ] are you and they all die yes the divine beast sure did onslaught yes they were quickly slaughtered under his elephant trunk where link boned mifa 100 years before the end all right next time i get grumps someone get a good goose that was a fun one yo [ __ ] [Laughter] oh goodness cool see you later well that's zelda oh god there was something i was watching back one of the episodes of this and it was so funny and i can't remember what what you were saying oh it was when you were measuring your dick and it had lost an inch because of the weight you gave your description was i'm just like what the [ __ ] [Laughter] which episode was that i don't know it was one of these a while ago it was so funny holy [ __ ] what the [ __ ] that was the one like because i sometimes i watch these in like the trailer like when when we're filming um the show but like when i need like a mental break from you know line memorization and [ __ ] like that i'll put on like a chill episode and like that had me [ __ ] dying and i was like michelle morrow has the dressing room next to me and like there's just like a thin wooden door so she can hear everything i'm listening to and saying so i can only imagine what she was thinking as i was [ __ ] giggling relentlessly at your voice talking about your dick i just want to be like don't hate congratulate i was so mad though i was so mad i mean how could you not be mad that you you lose you lose distance yeah like if i if i was using it dude what if you like what if i was blind and i was using my dick as like a a pole and i would i would hit it one inch closer i bet it feels what if it was lava but it feels so huge in these tiny hands [Laughter] i mean come on man yeah who wants who wants who wants a tiny dick it's okay if you have one um yes please but it's not like if you have a large dick and you're like plea this is what i want more than anything is a smaller dick first of all i prefer the term micro penis i guess there are some people that the guy who has the biggest penis in the world yeah that can't be he's like i want a smaller dick yeah i want it you can't have sex with anybody no it's too much and there are some dudes there's some huge dudes who are married to like a tiny girl yeah and and they wonder how and it's just like oh man like is that tough of course it's tough well you never know wow that was astounding an absolute thrill because i get we got that [ __ ] black dildo back there yeah that's literally my life that's like 18 inches it's like four inches wide and i'm just like jesus literally my life who could put that in their hole oh god like the time i was like i wonder how you say uh milk in japanese and then i was like meerku and they were like ah miuku that has happened to me so many times really where you just [Laughter] like oh it's so great i guess i didn't learn the word for taxi because there is none it's [ __ ] costly how do you say sexy in japanese oh sakushi sekishi that's my favorite one um for like spicy i was like oh it's karai right and they're like no it's tsubaishi it's super shitty okay speaking of my mom she had an experience like that she was telling me about in uh in spain um where she needed to get to the train and she didn't speak a word of it and she was like el traino and that's totally it it is yeah he'll train up train el train [ __ ] killed me oh dude i want them to just like intercut like really violent footage of somebody throwing up like every every couple of frames just like that all right let's open with that oh yeah and grab that kid that princess peach is bent on total world concrete oh you don't know i can't believe it jesus teddy [ __ ] christ didn't think why you think you kids invented things i know about teddy [ __ ] i didn't see the e for everyone rating just start to fade away m comes in yes sir and we figure that would be why they need the ancient treasure ah this doesn't bode well the situation has gotten far more serious than i thought [ __ ] [ __ ] we're [ __ ] let me bring you up to speed i've been researching what this treasure could be ugh and we are [ __ ] one book i came across held to what i thought was a preposterous theory that we're [ __ ] yeah the [ __ ] which is us the book claimed that the treasure was in actuality the great cataclysm you don't think that [ __ ] those people you better believe it did it's called the cataclysm the very cataclysm that [ __ ] my family a thousand years ago sank that town underground down down into the ground so those guys want to use the power that oh cataclysm to rule the world that's right sweater turtle i can't say for sure what they'll do or why but we must consider the possibility how does he put his hoodie on i did i mean does he take his shell off i got a thousand questions and then put the hoodie on and then put his shell on yeah and and where does his band-aid fit into everything now that this has now that things have come to this we must let them near the legendary treasure you you do that i'll i'll be here researching that's all that matters because if they do get it then once again this town will be [ __ ] no the entire world could be destroyed um in that case professor we need to find that next crystal star and fast wow look at sherlock holmes over here according to the map it appears the next crystal star is in twilight town two i like town i guess we have to go there now right here did i [ __ ] stutter is there an echo in here to tell you the truth i don't know about much about the place myself holy rumors well looks like we gotta find out more information about twilight town i swear to god i will kick you with my tiny mushroom feet i have heard that as the name implies it's perpetually dim and eerie there wait just a moment god i wish i had arms aha there appears to be a pipe to twilight town somewhere here in rogue port oh how convenient yeah shut up it moves the plot along i do believe it's somewhere underneath the west part of town yes definitely oh okay if you get stuck for any reason just come back and see me again okay and then i can say exact same thing twice but slower well that's part of town underground okey dokey thank you professor would you [ __ ] let me talk well mario i guess we should leave post hey professor what'd you say about my prostate it's the size of a grapefruit i assure you good gosh welcome back to dead rising too i've been asking aaron to bring this back for [ __ ] ever yeah and i um i was i was in a state earlier i was going through some salty stuff and i was having a little bit of a bad day and then aaron came in with dead rising two in his hands and he's like hey would this make you feel better yes it would actually i was saving it for a rainy day oh man today is the day pretty [ __ ] wonderful also like you know us we'll never get political on this show but two minutes before we start like no doubt by now you have heard millions of times endlessly about the donald trump cough tweet but for us recording this it just happened 30 seconds ago where dan and i were simul [ __ ] and i and i tweeted i i just texted a screenshot of that tweet to him and i heard him laugh through the wall and i was like this is a good one it's so so funny regardless of where you land on the political spectrum i think we can all come together and agree that coffee is hilarious holy [ __ ] what i don't know aaron this is like one of those moments where like i immediately have to think about a lot of things not just what you said but also questioning friendships and life choices i've made what's wrong with our friendship nothing's wrong with our friends i asked you a simple question yeah i i would hope that you would respect it and answer in kind yeah all right no i don't think you could fit tits inside all right but what if they were really small don't bargain with me you ask me and that's my answer yeah but some questions need discussion yeah yeah eat dicks eat ow wow let me try again [Laughter] yeah merck assault rifle no hold on hold on guys no aaron i ran up ran out of bullets oh boy i'm sorry ow oh boy i'll eat the jelly beans this is good all right i think doris is officially [ __ ] okay he's just die already god [ __ ] how many [ __ ] bullets aim lower because it it drifts up there you go yes oh my god thank you your ass doris is dead dude forget about her forget about her okay she's nothing to me anymore okay she's a ghost of figment she's a fig newton of my imagination fruit and cake [Laughter] wait where am i going oh god where am i going to eat it oh my god um wait where am i going get back in the room and then set your watch oh [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] zombo's everywhere excuse me i got some money thank you great cash close the door close it close it close the [ __ ] door [Laughter] oh my goodness it's like that's pretty cool can i try let me just waltz over here [Laughter] oh get off me embarrassing i mean i hoped you'd get here 45 episodes ago but whatever so which partner would you like me to power up oh got to be vivian right yes she's kind of the best fiery drinks to attack all foes with fire yes mini egg to make your enemies tiny lip lock to hurt foes shell shield to protect does it cost one shine to upgrade your dude jeez i don't know let's see what happens power up nope took three shazime forever what the [ __ ] is going on oh my god i'm tripping balls all of a sudden oh words doesn't matter [Laughter] her power up more yeah yeah okay hang out by my streaming penises uh let's do snare goals hey bud follow up on this partner yes sir oh no not again nothing again oh god no no hold on your [ __ ] notch [Music] it's okay it only hurts for an alternative yes this will not wear off i assure you how come he gets the sparkles and i get just the head horrifying care to power up more oh no please don't yeah oh god no please on the block oh [ __ ] so i powered this partner no stop [ __ ] yes look again first river oh god sure okay yeah you start barfing but it only like goes out in all directions into space oh god please no more no please you don't need the name of power [Laughter] you just described how i feel whenever you take me on a roller coaster it's just like no please no more okay great then you're my girl your [ __ ] incense is going to make me barf have you any other errands ah you don't have enough shots for it [Music] all right cool if someone hadn't made more plays of the game so look at you look at you killing people with your turret man yeah that was good and you were shooting at your teammates that's cool i can't yet overwatch and if you hit the shot button you can spend all of your money on this [ __ ] yep i say as someone who has done that very oh yeah fantastic i have bought like 10 games over yes enter the chat go ahead and chat to general it has been a pleasure to fight fight along uh first keyboard just use matte keyboard america chiclets rules roll throws there you go yay you just tossed that out into the ether dude i love it there might be some people that are also on the server that will respond to you i i also like to say that canada is pretty cool that's fair given the right circumstances that's that's that's yeah that's fair that's good you know that's a very positive general chat i hope anyway how are you having you're like a dad that just learned how to text and treats it like like male 1 loves this game thanks everybody well next time i get it thanks for watching that's awesome shout out to skye on neon [Laughter] thanks barry this scares me thanks you can check him out at razadoop on twitter sure am rock and roll see you later man we were gonna play our usual spate of uh super mario paper mario [ __ ] thousand parts don't tell people that this is the episode that's replacing paper mario and mario's the paper door you don't even maybe it's not even maybe we're running concurrent and yeah maybe we'll play it at the same time i don't know anyway the point is we were going to do our regularly scheduled programming and then in between like we do we do 14 episodes generally and in in the seven episode break uh i was eating and aaron was playing arms for recreational fun and getting super pissed off because this dude named joe piccono was kicking joseph you [ __ ] if i ever find you i will kill you he will no zipping up on you here's the thing right like if i'm playing like overwatch or whatever i i get really mad because i'm just i'm playing and i lose and i'm frustrated right right when i'm playing this game there's no like videos or any like top-tier level playing yet right because it just came out right so i get frustrated but i'm frustrated because i'm trying to figure it out right um so like he kept rematching me and i was like i gotta figure out how to [ __ ] beat this guy and and then he [ __ ] left and i was so mad because i was like i died i just wanted to figure out how to beat you and i didn't ah he was like the undefeated champion retiring [ __ ] picono dude if you're out there i'm gonna kill you i'm gonna find you and i'm gonna stab your heart but now i'm gonna watch it bleed out not like the pretend way that i was gonna kill aaron's dad he'll actually kill him i'll [ __ ] bleed you dry i'll get you right in the carotid artery and just watch with [ __ ] blue burning eyes as as i enjoy watching you bleed out in front of me okay you you [ __ ] ribbon girl [ __ ] next time on game don't even want a rematch huh oh i'm too easy for you you [ __ ] piece of garbage this is just some of the worst rounds i've ever played in this game oh [ __ ] i got nezutora coming up okay see you later everybody well pikachu has been told to go play until they can begin cooking corners are clear over operation based on the low uh quality recording of pikachu's voice i i could tell that he it wants to draw and hang out with bulbasaur and he's feeling sad yeah and then like you hear the professor die under like weird circumstances like you're coming across and you're like picnic what words are you saying right now is sounds like nonsense oh god this is like mothra versus godzilla where like the silk worms like keep shooting [ __ ] yeah yeah don't talk to them they got rabies so creepy don't talk to them they [ __ ] they're tuning fork heads will they'll distract you from what's important no [Music] world peace is so close and you're out here distracted by these [ __ ] yeah these butt plug looking [ __ ] yeah you know they're just gonna cocoon without you you're gonna be like you can't turn into a chrysalis pikachu don't attack the caterpie though because you need to you need to maintain your strength for when the war comes [Music] oh my god pikachu mushroom [Laughter] pikachu academy's quite a rush oh my god we caterpie get hungry their color changes and they bounce we should remember that okay oh yeah there there uh dude look at the [ __ ] mushroom because she's going to get a rosebud get a rosebud you [ __ ] pikachu i gotta [ __ ] do this i gotta actually do it which is cool i actually like that i think it's cool i gotta do this [ __ ] which i like i like when the game has rules and then it follows the rules i like that right it's nice except for the times when you down no i never not like that the q game grumps compilation of me being like this is [ __ ] it's okay i wonder if like we just contradict ourselves a lot or if all human beings do and we're just recorded and easy that is you oh you nailed it a hundred percent on the head everybody there's nobody in the world that it's like based on what mood you're in that day or [ __ ] you just changed your mind over time like we've been i've been doing game grumps for five years you've been doing it for four years yep and like five years is a lot of time [Laughter] got a little emotional there i just never believed [Laughter] it's a lot of time to change your mind and say [ __ ] that you don't think is right five years later i mean [ __ ] how old were you five years ago do you have a live journal or a myspace then i read it i was 33 and of course i had a live journal in my space i had both yeah my yeah i had a live drone when i was 15. that means i was putting my thoughts out in the world and i was sick that was half my life ago that's crazy to think about 15 years ago yeah and i was like i went to school bad day and my mom was like oh and i was like and i hate my voice like [ __ ] like that oh my god it's like literally everything that's in my [ __ ] please don't find it no yeah please don't fight it it is as you're saying that it's being poured over right now god it's i mean it's like whatever it's who i was yeah it's not who i am now you can only be honest at the time yeah exactly you can't predict how much more awesome you'll be yeah thereby rendering your current self stupid and annoying but that's what's that's what's annoying about stuff that like gets recorded as people are like this is who you are and it's like that was five years ago yeah it's not who i am anymore right you may you may want that but it's not true i have how many shits have i taken from now to five years ago like at least one a day at least i mean so that's like it's at least 10 in the last like three days that's thousands of shits you're terrifying with thousands of shits i've taken in five years you don't think my life has changed since then are your shits like markers of growth they're all life-changing experiences for me so my life has changed over a thousand times i left a small piece of myself do you want to ask me what even tide is nope okay fine i'll bite what's even tied [Laughter] eventide is an island where they well you know what i'll let you discover neato it's cool though okay but it's cool it does sound cool don't worry you'll you'll y well because i'm i'm foreseeing the situation of it now in my head whoa look at that skull rock yeah there's a ton of them spooky you never saw it before no i've seen it before but i haven't seen one like i don't feel i feel like i haven't seen one like that we've discovered like just randomly like i feel like everything in this game is discovered randomly what do you how what do you mean okay i'll bite what's random mean watch this got him watch this got him good job dude that was pretty impressive yeah well i got you with me you're my good luck charm oh is he going to do it again is he going to shoot a laser oh he's going to shoot a laser now do you remember blank man where yes where's your kiss i remember playing man god she kisses somebody has the orgasm [Laughter] [ __ ] blank mandate oh my god this [ __ ] was so funny this [ __ ] is going dead going limp when i [ __ ] shoot my this [ __ ] right here my seat at him i'm gonna shoot my [ __ ] seat right in his face he just he gets hit and he just picks it right up again uh-huh this [ __ ] yes oh my god what a [ __ ] clutch shot dude that was awesome aaron could you get off your own dick it was amazing i'm so proud i can't find you and it's driving me crazy you're going to win this yes yes i'm [ __ ] king boo but no no you're the son of a [ __ ] you [ __ ] [ __ ] metal mario piece of [ __ ] you [ __ ] i'll [ __ ] polish you like the turd you are you [ __ ] it oh oh i hit so i hit him oh i hit him you have it i've got the shot i'm proud of you we're teammates remember shut up aaron let me just let me just find you so i can protect you [Laughter] oh man oh you still got it dude you still got it i've lost it like three times i just he just happens to land here man you're extreme dude that's that's skill it takes skill to stay alive this long oh whoa whoa whoa i got it no oh i still got it wait wait wait oh god oh god oh god no [ __ ] link you [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] with your goddamn speaker megaphone whatever the [ __ ] it is oh boy oh boy oh you guys are dead you're dead link you're [ __ ] dead oh he's got all these mushrooms too he is out of here i think link's going to take it home oh not today [ __ ] oh yeah [Applause] you turd burglar [Music] you were going to win you [ __ ] salty sandra oh god oh [ __ ] the grass you're so close oh no no no no no no no i'm so slow because of my [ __ ] sponge tires oh my god you're so close right in the green shells [Music] i'm proud of you bro holy [ __ ] i'm proud of you oh man i'm proud of you two for trying to kill me right until the very end oh my god that was crazy oh dude you're so right about that his friend died he died to him uh oh oh oh oh oh come on aaron so terrible like truly what were you thinking i panicked i had to jump into the space that's bigger than my jumps oh i forgot i have the feather too float around whoa there we go whoa whoa told me i have the best claymore of all the names i've got all kinds of clean wars because my dad gave them to me i got more clay came on than anybody i wow we started off in a weird place my dad taught me how to mold clay more i kissed the girl who was it my day [Laughter] what the [ __ ] is going on at the ren fair like are there potions are they being seduced by wizards [Laughter] in one week you will be mine you can leave that jewish boy if you answer me these questions three [Laughter] most annoying things are meant with positive intention that is very true so yeah i don't know i don't know i don't know what to do man like comment and subscribe hey if you're in the military tell us what you think if you're in the military like comment and subscribe please and thank you for that thank you for service tell us what you think in the comments below or on the subreddit or whatever and also waiters thank you for your service and also servicemen yeah thank you for your waiting [Laughter] and uh prostitutes oh thank you thank you for your service absolutely thank you most of all scarecrow um uh kayak.com thank you for your service yup tennis players thank you for your service the guy who says survey says thank you for your service thank you for your surveys census people thank you for your surveys yeah uh um thank you thank you for your cervix [Laughter] so stupid i should have said gynecologists uh [Laughter] donald viss who was knighted by the queen oh thank you for your service yeah you're going a long way oh my god read zelda's diary hell yeah this seems yes dude she died 100 years ago after meeting with the champions i love to research the ancient technology but nothing of note came with my research end of entry the return of canon looms the dark force taunting us from afar i must learn all i can about the relics so we can stop him if the fortune teller's prophecy is to be believed there isn't much time left oh but turning philly's here in my head puts me ill at his i suppose i should turn in for the night i like the word turn yes tomorrow my father is deciding him is my appointment and he's just so cute i love his music wings of a butterfly i set up for god city today to make some adjustments to divine beast viruses i still recall fiori his thoughts on me as i walked ahead then his hand i hate how he can pull out his eyes and rub it against you it's weird the feeling stayed with me so long i grew anxious and weary and gassy it is the same feeling i've felt before in his company and still not a word passes to slips his assistant's a [ __ ] i never know what he's thinking it makes my imagination run wild guessing at what he is thinking but will not say jesus [ __ ] flip-floppy way of saying [ __ ] but what the what does the boy chosen by the sword the dancing darkness think of me will i ever truly know she's talking about us oh my god you just start jacking it then i suppose it's simple a daughter i said something awful to him today i told him i like billy i don't actually like billy i just want to make him jealous what do i do my research is going nowhere i was feeling depressed and i had told him repeatedly not to accompany me he never [ __ ] leaves me alone even when i go to the bathroom but he did anyways he always just and so he yelled at him without restraint he was into it he seemed confused by my anger i feel terribly guilty that guilt only makes me more agitated than i was before and i'm really mad and that agitation makes me guilty i'm so sure how to put today's events in the words what so often to feed me lately and now more than ever really it feels like a [ __ ] avalanche of words actually wordsworth's words there's so i just can't get a grasp on words words words words he saved me without a thought for his own life he protected me from the ruthless blades of the yiga clan though i have been cold to him all this time taking my selfish and childish anger out on him in every turn still he was there for me i won't ever forget that tomorrow i shall apologize for all that has transpired between us i sure hope i don't die for a hundred years and then i will try talking to him what if he was like she was like i will try talking to him to the goron guy yeah during the show yeah you're like today i found out his name is link holy [ __ ] i've been [ __ ] that up for years bit by bit i've got a link to open up to me it turns out it's quite a glutton he came with a delicious smeal also he's a real jerk yeah let's see if he wants to snack on these titties when i finally got around asking why he's so quiet all the time i could tell it was difficult for him to say but he did with so much at stake and so many eyes upon him he feels it necessary to stay strong and to silently bear any burden that's not right at all yeah he's like [ __ ] i just thought she was really boring and i didn't want her to keep talking a feeling i know all too well for him it's caused him to stop out really expressing his thoughts and feelings i always believed him to be simply a gifted person who had never faced a day of hardship how wrong i was now i know he's a hard person who's faced a lot of gifts everyone has struggles that go unseen by the world i was so absorbed with my own problems i failed to see this his his problems i failed to see his i wish to talk with him you know how words evade me boy link has kind of like he's kind of like what you have like resting [ __ ] face yeah like those angry looking eyebrows [ __ ] i'll just read this for a while oh god i wish to talk to him more and to see what lies beneath those calm waters and those bridges to him and that hot nasty clavicle to hear him speak freely and openly and perhaps i too will be able to bear my soul to him and share the demons that have plagued me all these years boy are there a lot father scolded me again thank god words truly evade me he told me i have nothing more to do with researching age technology he insisted that i focus instead on training that will help me awaken my ceiling magic i've been missed 40 sales today it's going well one of them stood on his hind fins and clapped i can throw them beach balls and they return them to me more later i was so frustrated and ashamed i could not even speak words are constantly evading me i've been training since i was a child and yet mother passed the year before my training was to begin now it's just me in the seals i i put a wig on one of the seals and it's kind of like my mom kind of in losing her i trust not just the mo i lost not just the mother but a teacher mother used to mrs benny's worth [Laughter] mother used to smile and tell me tell them my love i won't be well in the end you can do anything i [ __ ] hate her for it anything that you can do i can do better she was a [ __ ] but she was wrong no matter how i try how much time passes the ceiling power that is my birthright evades me just like words they've opened they've drifted out into the open water to start seal families of their own i missed them dearly when i lost my seals i not only lost a seal but a teacher and my ticket to the surface more to follow tomorrow my journey was linked to the spring of power to train but this too will end in failure such as my curse i had a dream last night a field dream can a place consumed by darkness a lone woman gave to me hollowed by blindingly i said she was not of this world i don't know if she was a fairy or a goddess but she was beautiful and very sea like she loved fish she had whiskers and she balanced the beach ball in her nose her lips spoke urgently but her voice did not reach me could words have evaded her or was my dream simply a manifestation of my fears i am sure i will know the answers soon whether i wish to or not my citizens finish their training and become an elite task force man and seal team six they were sent out on a dangerous mission to murder many innocents i didn't approve but you know it's just how it goes i guess i turned 17 today oh she's only 17. that means this is the day i'll finally be allowed to train at the spring of wisdom when link arrives he will set out for mount la neru the other champions will accompany us there i have not seen my father since he last scolded me things are too strained now i will meet with him when i return do you have any idea how much time and energy i've saved the makers of this game from having to animate all this [ __ ] yeah actually i've had a horrible feeling ever since that weird dream no one would believe a failure of a princess but right now the seals are our only [Laughter] for no particular reason i am filled with a strange and terrible certainty that something awful is about to happen deploy sale teams or or or oh god next time on game grumps next time on gabriel oh that was that was weirdly fun yeah that was a journey it's like a mental whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa yeah maybe okay yeah getting me to [Music] began my research into the ancient technology in earnest empire introduced me to pura and robbie other respected numbers there they're ingredients of a power shake tomorrow i embark on an excavation with them to meet other people with stupid names we're going to coachella we are dressed for the occasion we hope to find ancient tech with which to operate the garden stones which we will use to light up during a great performance by the weekend today we uncovered some ancient technology that we believe may have had the power to control the guiding stone i feel it coming it didn't i fear can it it is a rectangular object small enough to be held in my two hands chica texas and it's made of an unknown material but we believe it is the same as the strength scattered across each region i call it the ipad and propose that i hold on to it for now i hope that it leads to some new developments in our research we've created a new development robby sent me a dick pic today and i've been browsing youtube for like knitting tutorials it's pretty sweet you know i don't think i'll be into it but i'm totally into it some of the knitting girls like they have like sweaters with a deep v and you can kind of see their cleavage i mean it's a little bit cheap but it does draw you in and you start to appreciate their knitting and it's like you know i mean it's like you know you got to do what you got to do she knows exactly what she's doing whatever the stone relic we discovered has been named we're calling it the chica suit it's stupid i know but whatever we have not found any mention of a name for this object in the records we have on earth so far nevertheless per insisted we call it the sheikah slayer as the relic is a slate made by the chicas that's chica slate i'm gonna use the next 18 pages to illustrate that point further feels a bit on the nose to me but it was not a fight i thought i could win wow she literally thought it was stupid yeah so suddenly the dad comes in and you're like is that a nose joke no father not about not everything's about you nobody's laughing at you nobody's laughing at your laughable nose we did it we were finally able to restore some functionality to the chic asleep quote unquote we have discovered that the stone slate is capable of producing images perfect likenesses of the things he pointed at like normal pictures drawn by hand this requires no artists to capture anything in perfect detail i deeply admire the accomplishments of chica technology still i know there must be a perfect way to take a bathroom selfie i just haven't quite figured it out yet we believe the shaker slate may have a function that will allow it to control the guidance tone we had a small leap in technology and developed the iphone 7 plus today we took out the headphone jack and people seem really upset about it everything's really different now we must continue our research and quickly we have started training the champions who will pilot the divine beasts ralph didn't make the cut so instead we got this bird guy it may sound rude that i found this unexpected but mifa mastered the controls with surprising ease the rook struggled at first but eventually got the hang of it herbosa and vivali failed i could finally see that light of our hope in our fight against the rising calamity oh god the seals have attacked they're highly trained and using it against us the sails took over the guardians who saw that [ __ ] coming if you see a guardian balancing a beach ball on its nose that's how you know i've never felt more betrayed they were once my family but now they're the source of the calamity robbie has restored mobility to many of the guardians we've excavated 8-2 mr bork but we have we have still yet to find all the guardians records mention a greater number of them and even other types we found that dropping dead fish on the ground will attract them they are said to be stored in five giant columns that rest beneath hyrule castle oh that sounds important actually the thing is no matter how i search beneath the castle i can't seem to locate these columns all i find are porno max all i found i can't find these columns all i find are five small

Channel: GameGrumps Compilations

Views: 2,204,078

Keywords: Best, of, Game, Grumps, Compilations, best of game grumps, best of game grumps 2017, 2017, Game Grumps Compilation, Best of Game Grumps, Game Grumps, Lets Play, Best of Lets Play, Lets Play Compilation, best of, gaming, funny, moments, arin hanson, dan avidan, jontron

Id: 637l83Z3mZE

Length: 202min 31sec (12151 seconds)

Published: Fri May 18 2018