CHAIR F*CKING SIMULATOR

yes the title of the video is correct this is a game called chair [ __ ] simulator whether you think that's just to play on words or it's a euphemism or it's something that's gonna be misleading and turn out to be something else I don't think that's what this game is the Internet is a wonderful place where people can share ideas and there's something for everybody apparently this is one of those things for not everybody but somebody so when I go into this I don't think that there's going to be any subtlety to it I don't think that there's gonna be any hidden meaning behind it I'm pretty sure this is going to be straight-up chair [ __ ] I can't honestly say I want to [ __ ] a chair but I'm here I paid money for this game I paid money for this game so I might as well say this but I don't like making this declaration I'm not saying this to the world that I want to [ __ ] a chair it's not necessarily true oh also by the way if it wasn't obvious this is not going to be family-friendly look guys we're in this together you clicked on this video cuz you were curious I got this game because I was curious we're all in this together it doesn't mean anything about us oh we're in this together now we've made a pact we've made an agreement and we're gonna go into this with both eyes open and heart full of acceptance of what this could possibly be I'm not stalling I might be stalling but we're gonna go into this but you're making a commitment to me that you're on this journey with me because once we go in you cannot back out no matter what happens no matter what we see in there no matter what you see me do and it's a judgment-free zone yes sure I wanna [ __ ] a chair why not saxophone hoop hey kids I am [ __ ] chairs over here do you like this music drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life likes human foods such as meat pudding or meat pudding Backstreet Boys reunion tours hats like supplying lotion to tacos water Jodorowsky's sonic I don't know who Jodorowsky's act 1 the introduction so many ways a tenement like this I don't like the onliest 3 fingers I don't the way like the way his toes curl up I don't like how knobbly his knees are I don't like his legs in general I don't like that he looks like the punching bag from Super Smash Brothers I don't like his teeth I don't like his eyes I don't like his rotund body I don't like the crease in the back of his neck if that is his neck I don't like that I don't know where his neck is and if that is his neck I don't like that his neck is below his arms I also don't like that it has a chin is that his chin is that his gut is that just the fold in his chest I don't like the way he's biting the air I don't like the way he's bouncing back and forth those are just some of the many ways that I don't like this also the toilet is a problem I was told I was I guess it it if a chair is defined as something you sit upon I'm assuming that this is that achievement oh no what did I just see okay I don't know what act to look if this is a standard three act structure then we got a little bit of a problem oh my god apparently I'm running out of [ __ ] do I hit the Pat was that ice person hit the power act 2/3 the climate and I don't like this well I guess there's nothing implicitly wrong no everything's wrong I can't justify the situation at all so I might as well go in go in elbow-deep if there's really what we're gonna be doing [Applause] well what oh my goodness Wow that I never knew deli meats could be used like that you can call me anytime whatever done what have I done what have I done what have they done what am I hey hey baby hey baby are you doing I'm learning new things about myself we're all learning new things about ourselves we're on a journey of self-discovery which is all that life really is quickly prolapse love that name I would like you to know that the end is nigh [ __ ] me or don't but that will not stop the endless void from slowly devouring us this whole planet is forfeit to the stingy grip of entropy I like to collect buckets of nails and just shake them shake them shake them I don't like stone ale lube throwing up in ears grit dislikes candy stuffed in my cushions not your candy bill flipping the burden namaste you sound like a delightful chair that I would like to fornicate upon window shopper I don't know what that human is all right might as well oh we're both spinning Oh oh wow okay so you like a little faster so each one has their own pace that they enjoy there we go okay I'm out the familiarity I don't know hundred percent what okay really this this this is incredible I'm out still is quite demanding all right now we're really getting it apparently all right oh well the shame is still the same no matter what happens haha you brought organ ah mcc's to a knife fight and still won i what am i doing the shame of my actions you know what that one is well that wasn't as good for me as the old toilet Wow Fanny ridiculous Oh Fanny reticulum oh I saw you in many a WWE match are you the one that got smashed upon Hulk Hogan remember that time we watched radio Flyers accompany and you said no I'm not like you dad so you put your gun in the fridge to prove it I was once king of the Ottoman Empire do you get it though I don't get it either this is way too smart for me to understand or you're Lowell random and I don't like that likes one dozen eggs duck colors crown of tongues dislike square clouds I feel like this was written by an AI or a chair either way fancy ridiculous donkey er you're lucky your name's good I'm gonna blast the [ __ ] out of you slower ah Oh e a you sometimes why the pace is a little difficult to get into there we go that's the good pace there we go I'm out I don't know why I turned blood-red when I'm out okay what's this rhythm is very difficult to get there we go great this is fantastic awful you know I don't think it's chair should be criticizing me then again I probably shouldn't be [ __ ] a chair in the first place oh my god okay Oh folded you in half how do you feel about that I don't know what oh are you dead who died [ __ ] that chair to death dan you can seriously [ __ ] a chair apparently thank you that's what I'm known for and that's apparently what I will be known for and only that from this moment on thank you can you please forget I ever existed I didn't tell you my real name fanny radical donk I would love to keep it up whoa-ho what a name I hate the implications of posh [ __ ] machete but what a name I don't know how to person some say the world will end in fire and others say ice I think the world will end with the screams of a thousand cats realizing I've come for them aid me in the great chair ascension like salad ists dislikes buckets and precious metals are you mate no you're not made of a precious metal probably well what do you got against buckets bookworm I don't know what that means and I hate what that there you [ __ ] a book this is is this good for me is this how slow how slow can I go listen I just want this over with as fast as possible and you're asking me to go slower that only prolongs not that I have to [ __ ] a chair yeah I guess all right great oh I nailed the combo right from the get-go there we go all right and apparently it's done your gonzo you're done you're done Yin rings you're out of here why is there like a train track running through this why is there a weird circle around my feet why does it all line up that way what happened in this where are we why are we in some post-apocalyptic parking garage where are we what am i what is the lore I appreciate how well you delivered that bag of hammers to my workshop Oh baby that's my favorite euphemism yeah I'll remember you talk about a wide load socking ttyn pimpled them lift my lid you don't have a lid number one let's not lie to each other right off the bat listen I'm still new to this world but at least I know respect lifts my lid and see how excited I am let's get ourselves a chair [ __ ] prototype prototype okay likes getting smelly in the garage editing rush fell dislikes sex clowns I didn't know sex clowns were a thing I didn't know chair [ __ ] was a thing these are two nightmares that will haunt me for the rest of my day if I have more than one day likely it will be the rest of my day all right hey whoa hey what's up big chair hey how you doing I bet you're sturdy Oh faster okay fat all faster Oh faster oh you want the speed okay well I bet you want slow you still want fast okay all right you can take a beating is what I'm getting from this I don't know why your knees buckle like that because I'm so good at what I do yeah oh I was right there look I know what you want apparently and I don't like that I know what you want I've got a sixth sense when it comes to [ __ ] chairs which is probably something that I should seek therapy about and probably something that no one will believe much like seeing ghosts but you know at least Bruce Willis is looking at me from around the corner there hiding behind that pillar Hey Bruce am i doing your proud also you also [ __ ] chairs apparently there was no need for that sound well so I don't think metal should bend that way nope I think I'm getting worse ah look that was a hard to please in retribution for wasting my time I've taken your wallet and your keys in your dignity I ever had the dignity Oh share Federer Ling I was hoping my final form would be a plate treat me like a goat and I'm putty in your who's like Smosh pitting with an ostrich dislikes cups of human organs but bleached so they're a nice even color but that's a dislike nah Oh crotch whistle purple that's my new gamertag oh the new star of YouTube it was soaked as his crotch whistle ear my birthday is a bunch of muscle men who appear out of nowhere and breakdance shrug I'm pretty sure all my neighbors are terrified of me now like sky forks sky fork dislikes screams no no no screams uses but I want some of that that sounds delicious programmer fart magic doink doink doink doink doink dwoing dwoing dwoing dwoing don't look I got places to be chair like right here right now no I got places to go I got look I'm a busy whatever the hell'd nightmare creature I am let's just get it done and then I can go on my way yes they were you know I mean they did but if they were gonna make a real chair [ __ ] simulator because this is obviously first generation so like I'm so ready for like the second iteration you know chair [ __ ] simulator 2 is really gonna be there but like they you know it's it's really not feeling intimate to me it feels like it's just using chairs I want something that is a bit more tender you know why not why can't I plan my life out with the chair that is the one you know what I mean why can't I take it my chairs out for a date you know what I mean why's it gotta all be about sex I don't get that you know that's not that's not what I am as an emotional kind of dude Jesus Christ oh my god I see I [ __ ] it to death but I [ __ ] it too I gotta hide the body oh my god I think it'll burn a gas oh my god I'm doomed well I'm in too deep now oh hey you're such a bad chair [ __ ] noodle monster you're so hot I'll bet they boiled you extra long yeah you know what what saxophone hoop is tired of your [ __ ] don't talk to me or my footrest ever again what what I didn't do I have to call them back is that wait wait what what what really so I am juggling these relationships Hey listen baby hey babe come on don't be like that you and me we got something special in this abandoned building of some kind this post apocalypse may be detrimental and have horribly mutated me and you but at the same time we have something special something no one else has mostly I don't know maybe my toes or something I don't know why my toes are upside-down look the the radiation really messed me up but you it only made you more beautiful why don't you and I why don't we go out to the radiation River sometime the glow is so beautiful and it really brings out the color of your lid oh my god slow the whole way you are so needy always you you you what about me huh what about my needs what about my chair needs what about what what about them what about you ever think about that what about him I'm talking to a chair that I'm [ __ ] well I mean I'm not not really I'm very clear it's not me [Applause] BAM listen you're great and all but you're high maintenance and ain't you know I'm just not about that I'm a free spirit you know I can't be tied down to no chair not one anyway I don't remember inviting you over to my storage unit but I'll certainly be doing so in the future Thanks whatever ambassador what what is what oh okay well Fanny ridiculous don't you know what no I did get out of here Fanny Fanny I think Fanny crotch whistle you know that's the one you know what saxophone hoop I'm kind of over you you you you you done strong sauce pedal Ford no Bret foot Bret right no I'm gonna be that's not a chair that's clearly not a chair Philip Burt wig sock frown don't you the fly me you're totally going to the fly me well the joke's on you buddy I already vomit all over my doughnuts when the trash can lid slams down I'm there likes helmets Phil with cheese regret clouds pregnant dog dislike socks awkward hand-holding Seinfeld just getting warmed up just getting warmed up was that a skull was that multiple skulls you have skulls inside of you I guess it's supposed to pocalypse and this is the least of my concerns with the skulls inside of you are a little odd what is happening I have no idea what's happening it was some weird moaning going on the distance I mean understandably I am [ __ ] a chair but they're the weird moaning it really throws me off my game you know I don't know what's more concerning the fish or the skulls or the cans or everything or the [ __ ] you know actually I'm gonna settle with the [ __ ] that's the most disturbing thing about all this oh all right fine sure whatever you are seriously [ __ ] material you know what not you though get out of here well Oh Fanny ridiculous goodbye I don't care go away yeah you know what I don't care fanny ridiculous onk you know I don't care fishface heart [ __ ] listen I've forgotten entirely about fanny ridicul fishface heart [ __ ] is no Josie John Joe Bob Joe big I was once a man see this is the lure that I was talking about these aren't chairs they're people this toilet was once a man something changed me into a tube and something changed you into a turlet fish bump peepee well there boy oh man lather up my lack towards you put it into the oven pockets no no no no no roses are red clowns clowns clowns gear pusher come on my Skeletor likes kneecaps dislikes semen in a can pregnant Batman this is randomly generated alright sure whatever you know what I've lost all my dignity so at this point no no no is this one of those sex clowns I heard so much about Oh No Quality Assurance I don't know what who is that what do someone there wait what there was someone there what the hell you're still there oh my god it's not gonna show me oh my god okay will huh look at that there's someone there that's the most terrifying that why are you go away who are you who are you have you always been there have I just never noticed I hate this squeaking and you're dead you know this one actually I don't regret as much because honestly I want to hide the evidence that this ever happened and if that guy behind the pillar was filming me that's gonna be a problem not that I think that there's a society left to understand this or that I have any sort of public recognition given that I'm a giant tube I just don't know who you are I am stuck in a room surrounded by angel statues great stay there does this game actually have a secret like horrible lore to it what is it share a miserable pile of secrets a demon summoning monster what do you think of chair frog screaming Lex farty buds dislikes pink salads I don't want to know what a pink salad is a troubling hobby hey I hate that face the guy's not there anymore there's something going on here and I don't like it slow slow slow slow slow slow listen try and reel but I'm so tired you know seeing a lot of chairs recently boink ooh what's with the fireworks I mean what's with the chair [ __ ] but also what's with the fireworks in the Ring of Fire it's all symbolic it's all symbolic it's all symbolism that really did it time to go buy some wood glue you're not made of wood go away the chest wound God bro I got what plants crave right here look look at it key Jen music plays well my PC lights on fire and shoots urine at me from the CD Drive sure at least you're a different chair slightly creeper aah creeper why is there someone here I hate that achievement I hate what that suggests first I was like aah Julie game now I'm just it's very uncomfortable because if people were actually knowing that I did this I would be probably very detrimental to my personal well-being oh that's what you get whatever chest wound chest wound oh yes my my yes thank you oh thank you so much I've never experienced that much wet noodle before and it was absolutely divine thanks bye crotch whistle oh no fine okay whatever who cares oh there it is again I got 200% that's nice I don't like that I'm getting better at chair [ __ ] simulator that seems like something that's not what I want on my resume BAM another one fights that no leg to stand on I don't know what that means that might be my best ever I got an A in chair [ __ ] class thanks teacher I haven't felt this alive since the great chair wars you know I bet there were great chair wars and apparently the chairs won I can't believe how desensitized I've become to share [ __ ] oh oh I've never failed before oops Yee I didn't blast him away but I guess it doesn't matter us clowns be [ __ ] I don't think you're what you think you are what happens if I just screw up you'll like that you like that you like that you like and I'm bothered donk that's what you get it's all you guys so I got I'm tired you know doing this all day one one percent yeah you know what where's my coffee you know what you don't deserve it eager face what does the eager face then an entire counter mostly twerking yep 0% baby when I go ahead and what the authorities know where you live yep that's probably for the best swipe left to avoid a terrible fate what does it even mean and five encounters badly yep it's not you know wait it is what was it and Tenten can't any encounters badly yeah you know it's how I do all right you know what I'm done this has been chair [ __ ] simulator I spent way too much time [ __ ] chairs I don't think there's a secret to be had and I feel stupid for being drawn into the idea that there was a secret to be had this game is for a very specific type of person of whom I am NOT so thank you everybody so much for watching if for some reason you want to play this game and you want to discover the dark secret lurking in the center of the chair links will be in the description I'm gonna throw this game into the playlist with all the other weird strange uncatted erisa below video z' that i've played in the past of which there are many games which just can't be explained in simple terms actually no this one can be explained in simple terms it's a chair [ __ ] simulator you simulate [ __ ] Church alright cool I'm out of here thank you everybody so much for watching and as always I'll see you in the next video bye bye [Music]

Channel: Markiplier

Views: 1,923,674

Rating: 4.8915362 out of 5

Keywords: chair f*cking simulator, markiplier, stupid games, funny games, simulator games, simulation, sim, goat simulator, broken games, parody, comedy, gaming, pc games, nsfw, censored

Id: mN4kPzp7aKA

Length: 26min 35sec (1595 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 10 2020

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