Bill Burr's Sports Rants

you're a baseball fan i know you're a bit you're a big sports fan big baseball fans big sports fan in japan okay well listen uh now we have this uh issue of who's gonna get into the hall of fame and they're not people like letting people like bonds and clemens in because obviously of uh steroid uh use in the past what's your take on that um i don't know is it i said is it does it matter no i don't i don't mind that people use roids i think they should use roids because they're using themselves as guinea pigs and it'll all trickle down to us one day and after they messed up you know their heads get all big and they they take that part out i think i mean if enough athletes you're saying you steroids try themselves with steroids they'll figure out how they already they do it with singers if a singer can't sing she gets to use a steroid yeah right you say it's going to improve it's going to improve the drug so that we get to use them i'm saying by the time we're 80 they're going to have like a steroid vaporizer that you can just inhale and you're going to have abs i'll get a full head of hair and you're going to be banging some hot 65 year old and it's all going to be because of these athletes and the sacrifices that they make that no one appreciates baseball now it's not quite the way it used to be i don't like that whole thing like when you go to a game if you catch a foul ball you got to like give it to a kid now what are you talking about that's why kids are all mushy and fat they don't have to they're not going to work for anything first of all i don't like when i was a kid i had to fight adults to try and get one and i never got one and they boxed me out and that was totally acceptable in the 70s and 80s yes so now i gotta sit there take a line shot to my hand have that swollen up and then i oh give it to a kid no declining ratings do you think the nfl has a problem they're starting to say they're losing viewership now care people who care about football st are still watching it they just they got too big they just went all poppy they had everybody dressing in pink right there's always jets flying over support the troops katy perry is doing a dance right they just they just took it way too far what i love about sports is it's a great way to tap out from the news and just you know watch a game and get away from it now there's like all these causes are getting like attached to it like i was watching the world series and i'm in the middle of watching the world series and out of nowhere they have this moment stand up to cancer i'm watching a ball game and all of a sudden everybody stands up holding up a sign of somebody that they either know that's dying of cancer or died of it in the middle of the game it's just like what are you doing trying to watch a game here you know no there's a time and a place look i know somebody i know somebody that has died of cancer i would never go to the movies with you and in the middle of it hit pause and be like oh by the way conan i know this guy he died of cancer it was horrific i could have lifted him up off the sheet with two fingers it was horrible hey enjoy by the way i got molested when i was nine enjoy the rest of this gonna have a super bowl party yes no super bowl party no super bowl party if you're true football fan you do not go to uh super bowl parties because it's all a bunch of losers who don't watch it all year and what they do is they talk during the game and then they shut up during the commercial and then the game comes back they're like oh how do you think that one caught huh that's it funny i thought that one stunk and it's just like i just the rage that goes through me through the game and i just you know ended up fighting you know with somebody so you just are opposed to them having a party in the middle of the super bowl like you know having a a a half yeah i don't like it's the most important game of the year and they turn it into like this this i don't know what it is i don't know what it is anymore it used to be like a little high school band came out yeah played a little song right and then that was it and now they just yeah everybody's shooting t-shirts into the crowd i really sound like a grumpy old man but i i just want to watch the game right i'm just going to be me sitting alone screaming at my tv how much football do you watch a week i watch i watch two games on sunday i tape three right then i watch the monday game and then tuesday i watch one of the three that i taped wednesday i watch another one then i watch the thursday night game and then friday i get watched the sunday night game saturday i watch college football okay and it's fine okay because i have a simple male brain that can just sit there and just just enjoy it i can just enjoy it so so does your wife watch any of these games with you does she she has the female complex multitasking brain that's why they can't be happy they just they just always they're like what is that lizard that can look at two things at once that's what they're like so they got the shoes they want and then they see some other women walking and going oh look at this skinny over here she thinks she's cute right and like that's what i've learned oh god you know what makes women happy nothing nothing makes them happy and that is why they are slowly taking over the nfl because it ignores them that that we can just sit there with like a pizza and a drink like that's not holding just just be like and enjoy ourselves so you're saying that you because you're happy that you think your wife and women in general want to take jealous of it they don't want their own thing they don't want their own they they want our i don't know what it is and it's i think it's because we're happy we're just sitting there enjoying ourselves having a good time without them it drives them nuts and they just got to go in there and ruin it i still watch o.j simpson highlights i do i'm a i'm a football fan he's one of the top five running backs of all time you're able to compartmentalize but he's he's all of that when he goes into a restaurant they go murderer marinara he's not just that he also won the heisman trophy he's get 2 000 yards in a 14-game season it's just like people are very they're comfortable i think anyone when he walks into a complex you think when he walks into a restaurant anyone yells out husband trophy i would be i'd be adding stuff on you know naked gun making gun one and two i don't like how they interview the coaches too when they go to the half like in half time yeah as they're running off like i think they should just be able to stay focused on the game they shouldn't have to talk to somebody like a skate parker you're like yeah you know you're down by 14 uh what are your thoughts it's like what the what do you think my thoughts are sucks i'm worried about my job i'll probably have to sell my house my wife's gonna leave me i need to score more points in the other half who are you why am i talking to you you're not even in football yeah did you even play to the high school level no no probably you took journalism yeah get out of here what about her yeah it's a bunch of nerds interrupting people who know what they're doing the thing that concerned me the most in sports was i watched cleveland play a home game in november and it was 71 degrees out and the pitchers were sweating and all that no that's not a good thing people this is the golden age of global warming so take it in stick your arm out the window before the hell fires come um always nice to cheer up the crowd that's when you know you're in trouble in the nfl's when you just stand there i don't know what that means we got to get it right we didn't get it right we're going to work on trying to get it right so next time we got to get it right i'm embarrassed for my actions i'm embarrassed for the league embarrassed for anyone on the same continent as me you didn't get it right we got to get it right next time we're going to work on getting it right starts with that and then the next day the guys on the sports talk radio you know the and and guys that connects all their thoughts with that like they came out in the first quarter and they were all over those guys jump on it what did you say where's where's the league what kind of message what a message are they sending out like i don't know it's like what message are they sending out do you think i'm gonna see this guy hit a woman and then i'm gonna do it right right right i wasn't gonna hit a woman but then that guy in the ravens did it so i guess it's okay they got a real problem it drove me nuts the whole month they got a real problem in the nfl it's compared to what plumbers electricians society in general there's a lot of great people that play football the league's going to be fine a lot of new england fans get upset that brady didn't catch that pass super bowl he should have laid out he should have extended his whole body and grabbed it you know what was funny was when on that play you actually saw his age you know if you when he stands in the pocket he looks 25 the second he starts running it's like dude i could d this guy up like did you see last year last year when he threw that pick six when he dove to tackle that guy it looked like somebody threw a dead body out of a car like like his arm moved and that was it but he's standing when he stands in the pocket he looks like an astronaut yeah these guys he's going to live forever yeah like cocoon or something yeah i go to a big college football game rivalry game every year this year i went to uh university of miami versus florida state and i had a great time insane fans but uh you know i made sure that when i saw florida state it was an away game because i actually like florida state but that tomahawk chop thing drives me nuts and it has nothing to even do with the native american thing it's the fact that they do it every like three seconds they they form a huddle and all of a sudden the band starts playing every in the crowd like like and they never get sick of it it's like the band knows one song it's like i got it you know it's funny you know what's funny about that is you know like native americans never even did that you know like white people came up with that in like the 1920s when they were making like they first got sound in movies like what do they sound like i don't know they got some more on on this setup so just goes that sounds good put some rouge on his face even if i was the biggest florida state fan ever like even like halfway through the first quarter i'm tapping out it's like can we get another song going here yeah something i know i think i made the point yeah you made them i was talking to my buddy the other day like what they would have to do to get me to stop watching you know i love football you watch the commissioner could literally punt a baby across this office with his wingtips on i'm still gonna watch on sunday i don't condone the man's actions but it's football i have to watch it this is all i have

Channel: Team Coco

Views: 1,209,422

Rating: 4.9061813 out of 5

Keywords: Conan O'Brien, Conan, Conan (TV Series), TBS (TV Channel), Team Coco

Id: jQO-OrjpybQ

Length: 10min 42sec (642 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 22 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/Torschlusspaniker]

Fan of Bill Burr but I kinda feel like his podcast has focused a little too much on sports. He used to cover more topics and areas where he could give a humorous take.

He is free to run his show however he wants but I find myself listing to the podcast less.

Not a big sports fan so is the current podcast what people are looking for from Bill?

[u/BitchAssWaferCookie]

The hot 65 year old line killed Conan and myself alike

[u/caring-teacher]

I just love he he hated on Star Wars, but then later appeared in The Mandalorian I think in two episodes.