Bill Burr - How The Grumpy Old Neighbour Got Under My Skin

formerly billy burr formerly yeah yeah yeah i've always you know some i was always bill right up until i got into showbiz and uh you know people some people got in my head like uh it doesn't flow together you should go by william or whatever so i kind of listened to him and for like probably like four years i went by billy and every time somebody said it like i cringed like i don't know how billy crystal does it like as a man you know billy yeah if you didn't grow up with it but someone talked you into that but i was billy when i was a little kid if you're a little kid a little kid is billy and any time a comedian does a joke and there's a little kid that they're talking to it's like oh let me tell you something billy yeah it's always good well that's interesting because that goes back to what we were just talking about maybe when you were billy you would have taken up guitar skateboarding without being self-conscious yeah well that's because that's what we're talking about i i wasn't self-conscious until i got an argument with my [ __ ] neighbor down below me uh oh all right this happened today no this happened like like two three days ago about guitar playing no it it it turned into that it got it got ugly what happened all right so i live in this old building and like it's real like there's no insulation in it whatsoever like i've been sitting on my couch late at night and you know feeling like i'm the only person in the world and all of a sudden you just hear like um you see somebody clear their throat and they sound like they're on the couch with you like the place is [ __ ] haunted and they're literally across the courtyard i don't know if it's the acoustics i don't know what it is yeah so everything's [ __ ] loud as hell in there so we live above this this old guy the classic old guy you don't want to be living alone not even no you know no pets yeah blind's pulled you don't even know what the [ __ ] he does right and uh he's always like he's really sarcastic yeah like if you drop something you know because his gravity you drop something he you just hear him like muffled downstairs you just here do it again oh no like that he's doing that how can you live in a place that's got that thing a situation it's it's [ __ ] ridiculous and like uh oh keep it up oh she does that so i think it's funny if he says do it again i do it again you know comedian i don't give a [ __ ] but my girlfriend like maybe because it's a guy she feels bullied by him so like two months ago she tells me you know you really need to go down there and talk to this guy you need to talk to this guy man up no no dude man up it'd be if it was me we're the same age yeah right right how old is this guy dude i i don't know you know hundreds i was joking on my podcast that he tested for michael's navy that's how old he is he's an old guy so it's like what am i gonna do yeah i'm going to go down there and what is going to come with this i don't want to do this [ __ ] so yesterday it's two three days ago it's the end of christmas i'm dragging my christmas tree down it's like 10 in the [ __ ] morning legally i could start building a house at 7 00 am yeah i'm bringing a tree down and he comes out and then sarcastic is as hell to the point i didn't even get it but he's had this bizarre look on his face he just goes what did he say he said uh beautiful morning isn't it like yelled at and i was and i was looking at him like like uh what what the [ __ ] is this guy out of his mind and then i realized oh he's being sarcastic i heard the tree coming down so i'm like whatever and i go in the house and my girl was like oh he was yelling again go down there and talk to him so i'm like fine you want me to talk to him so i go down there and i go down to talk to guy and as i start walking up his walk he's sitting there and i see like this little kind of look of fear on his face and i didn't go down there to have an argument and i just i was just like listen man are you always yelling up there what is the problem and i sound like she dropped a brick and he just starts screaming at me i go look we have hardwood floors look i came i kept going i came down here to work it out and he goes what does that mean what is that some sort of hip news saying i swear to god so i keep i kept my cool and i kept going like dude i'm just coming down here to blah blah blah blah right and he just kept yelling at me then at one point he made a reference to my bad guitar playing his sarcastic as hell he goes how's your band and then he goes then he goes then he goes and uh no i mean i swear to god yeah if there is an afterlife i want kudos on this because i immediately want to be like how's your [ __ ] life yeah yeah how's your [ __ ] life really is what you dream of do it yeah who's your last roommate [ __ ] larry howard you [ __ ] [ __ ] no because i i have a line i don't yell at old people i don't sorry well that's what he said he goes how's your good time that's what [ __ ] kills me is it really hurt my feelings because that was outside the realm of comedy so i don't have musician walls built up yeah he heard you like oh yeah he got in he got in oh he got it got in he [ __ ] gave me an uppercut right to my feelings and he always even worked because then i came upstairs and my girlfriend was standing on the balcony listening to all she wants to go at it with the guy and i just uh i just you know i got lines but what happened though so what happened was i found the worst thing i just said to him i might even say you're a jerk i just said you know what you're being a jerk right now i came down here and you're just being a jerk and i walked away and uh and i just i left it at that and you know of course everybody listened to my podcast was like dude you know what i would have done i would have [ __ ] got a paint gun no you wouldn't have you wouldn't have you wouldn't have or people tell me to stomp around my apartment oh that's a great and play the tv real loud oh great so i actually piss off all the same people in my building well you know what's weird is that with those kind of situations yeah the fact is you could be as nice as [ __ ] hell to the guy and he still won't change and it's only going to be for you you know it it but sometimes if you're nice and you make gestures sometimes they do you have a level of understanding probably yeah i think what i should have done was i should have made a gesture a while ago and i didn't and now the first time we've actually the first time we've ever released a confrontation it's a conference so i i think it's it's over you know it's like it's at that horrific you like if you're getting an arm with a girl to that level on a first date there's no second date no there's nothing you can't bring the flowers not unless they're sick so with me there's usually a third and a fourth date and eventually a marriage so i don't know how that works for you but in my experience if you get into a really good argument on the first date you might marry her

Channel: Bill Burr University

Views: 26,361

Keywords: Bill Burr, Bill Burr University, Marc Maron, MMPC, Monday Morning Podcast, WTF Podcast, Neighbour, Fight, bill burr, monday morning podcast, advice, laugh planet, bill burr argument with neighbour, marc maron, guitar, funny, podcast clip, bill burr university

Id: 1KdSpfp5jQY

Length: 5min 45sec (345 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 04 2021