Bill Burr - I Was ALLOWED To Have A Wild Childhood

[Music] where do you think that comes from the desire to kind of be a you know a disturber like that you know um that was sort of my my the family i grew up in it i remember describing it one time to a therapist and he sort of described it like lord of the flies because i had i had like i had four brothers and a sister and it just it was a pecking order like you know my dad sort of with all of us right my older brother you know mess with me on down then i messed with you know everybody beneath me and it literally went all the way down to the dog and like everybody with the dog and we had this little west highland terrier we turned it into like an attack dog like we started off played like the glove game we you took a gardener glove you sort of mushed it in his face right it bit your face no and then yeah eventually it did it ended up biting too hard so then it became like a hockey stick not like hard just like you're digging for a puck in the corner and at that point it learned how to do that [ __ ] you know where they bite and they they do like that they're trying to like break the neck that's why they do that and uh we thought it was hilarious but then the dog started doing it to us and one day i was [ __ ] with it while i was eating and it actually caught me in the face it got me like i had to get stitched my dad's a dentist so i actually went in and he uh he stitched me up your dad stitched you up yeah he used to do it a lot at home because uh i don't know i don't like talking about this too much because it's a little bizarre i think nowadays the way people are grow up but yeah we used to this is what happened we would get into fights me and my brothers and someone would end up needing stitches and we always said the exact same lie i was running through the woods and i tripped that's what we would say and we'd always cover like one time i picked a big rock up and i threw it at my brother's head i just i don't know why i did it i i sort of threw it this direction i didn't think it was going to hit him and i nailed him right on top of the head and i apologized and he was you know and then he's what happened i was right through the woods and i tripped it was a lot of that there was no internet there was no [ __ ] things there was nothing to do my brother i saw one time he jumped out of a tree and there was this stick that was pointed up in the air and he landed on it and for half a second was like impaled on it and he looked so ridiculous we were laughing our asses off including him he was laughing because he felt stupid but then when he landed he lifted his shirt up he was bleeding and then of course you know once you saw blood you were freaking out so then my we would go in and my dad be like oh for christ's sake i don't need this [ __ ] he'd take you upstairs and go in the bathroom and then like whoever was the the oldest had to like assist was basically what happened i remember i got over being queasy with head injuries but when my brother with his chest it was a little bit of tissue not to gross you out but i really i almost passed out it was [ __ ] nasty i didn't realize dentists were so uh surging no no my dad my dad's hardcore he's he was actually uh he just does dentistry when he's like you know that's like whittling to him no he used to work on babies with cleft palates that was a funny thing about my dad so by the time he got home his patience it was it was over so i mean we kind of he was like uh sort of mike ditka meets uh like a bookworm because he was like a really smart guy but he definitely had a he definitely had a level of intensity yeah that you didn't mess with you know he's a great guy got to throw that in i always get nervous you know because when you talk about this [ __ ] p either people come up like dude that's hilarious my dad was just like it or you get these people like oh my god he felt like a monster he's like he's a [ __ ] took us you know took us to church every week made sunday breakfast taught me how to drive when i was like 12 back when uh uh malls weren't open on sunday and we'd go down there he taught me on on a stick yeah let's see i uh we're about the same age i want to ask you what you're 53 yeah yeah well 42 yeah 42. i just turned 39 and i was going to ask you what your favorite thing was about growing up in the 70s because when you mentioned playing in the woods and getting impaled on sticks and not having the internet these are the kinds of things that i did yeah the games like i mean when it rained out there was this we lived on a busy street there was this area that this big puddle would grow up would just sort of build and would get to a certain level my mother was fine with it we'd go out with t-shirts and our shorts and we would walk and we'd stand on the side of the road and point at it as motorists came by and these people would drive their cars towards five like basically toddlers to like a nine-year-old like god knows if it's too deep it might cont make you drive up they didn't give a [ __ ] it was the 70s and they would just drive into it and all this dirty puddle water would wash over us and my mother would [ __ ] hose us down outside dry us off and then we would have dinner that's one thing i actually looking back was great about the 70s was i was allowed to have a childhood i was a lot like i did all this [ __ ] it wasn't uh you know i mean occasionally someone would get a dirty magazine and it would be like this unreal thing but like i when i was a kid thought you know right up until like the age of like 10 or 11 i thought like where i put it in i thought it was right in front on a female i thought it was literally for it didn't make any sense that where where it is i mean it makes sense now but just i had no no idea but now if i knew what to click as a three-year-old i could just hit images yeah and see it right innocence is gone yeah it is and uh now now we're kind of told i would think people are more told what they're supposed to do for fun now like you you have to go and be a little more creative back in the 70s kind of invent things and you could just open the door and you could go outside and there was no worry of of uh of of any sort of like anything was going that's what i remember my mother would just shoot she worked uh the late shift and she would open the door and she would just send us outside and then would literally ring a dinner bell for us to come in and we we would just you know we did all sorts of [ __ ] that she had you know rode our bikes to mcdonald's one time on the side of the highway she had no idea like a [ __ ] like a nine and a seven year old and nobody stopped people just kept going like there was really no uh i don't know i i think it would be all of that where where where where where where where where where oh my god

Channel: Bill Burr University

Views: 76,796

Keywords: Bill Burr, Bill Burr University, MMPC, Bill Burr Podcast, stand up comedy, Being A 70s Kid, Allowed to have a childhood, childhood, funny, podcast clips, bill burr advice, growing up in the 70s, growing up in the 70s and 80s, billy booze bag, just checking in on ya

Id: uvFuAmLG1Ko

Length: 6min 58sec (418 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 24 2022