Best of Top Gear - Series 9 (2007)

ladies and gentlemen would you please welcome richard [Applause] oh are you the same person that you were before yes i mean the doctors were worried because it's brain damage about you know personality change or whatever but no the only difference really between me now and me before the crash is i like celery now and i didn't so you're still shouting you're still fighting yes and if i take you to the pub are you still going to want to punch me in the face after 15 minutes yes though that's to be honest more your personality than mine a lot of the plant will be going backwards as well as forwards so anyone walking behind the plant must have a chaperone with them just be where the rabbit holes please don't need ranking ankles or sprained ankles six days advice and one day telling you which piece of ppa you must wear let's get over with your general ppe any questions can we start now not until you're shooting the boots i'm afraid where are we dressed can't see my genitals little speech [Music] [Music] the d-5481 will join that list they'll build this road in a day our resurfacing work will last for a thousand years this is not the end this is not the beginning this is not the beginning on the end with the men motivated nicely we soon have the old surface cleared and had started to lay the bitumen which glues the new tarmac in place wait james what if it's worth doing it's worth doing quickly no well quickly wow some say he once threw a microwave oven at a and that long before anyone else he realized that jade goody was a racist pig-faced waste of blood and organs and we need it crack that up to the max and change that calendar it's far too calming and relaxing come on go fast get on with it i crack this is our darkest hour we will not allow adolf hammond to ruin our plans for this great this wonderful this man shut up we shall not go quietly into the night we have faced adversity in the day shift can i have cotton chips 75 times the night is dark the road is long and we're far from our families but don't worry gentlemen of d eight one because i have music to take us through the night check it out let's put me off the sausage what all james at 4 am there were still 700 yards to go and the men were flagging so i brought out the motivational big gun effect of another winter of discontent mrs thatcher painfully yeah cultivated this is going well and i hope it will be followed by a winter of common sense yes look that's a little bit okay that's perfect it isn't [Music] we did our best but the men from the council didn't seem impressed [Music] [Applause] i've been wanting to do this for a long time oh come on i'm coming the other one has been shouting all day so there you are people of bidford unhaven in just under one day your road is open that's a bit of service let's get the car settled fourth gear 5000 revs the climb from 200 to 300 kilometers an hour was over in just 9.4 seconds the world viewers is this engine is sucking in as much air in a minute as i breathe in four days 406 come on i need one four one four [Music] i'm pretty confident that's as fast as i'm ever going to go in a car incredible that is it's made my eyes water hey now jaguar have made a concept car well not another one that's why they never make any money isn't it because they just keep making concept cars all the time instead of just making cars that you can buy oh no they haven't understood that if you sell a car you get money yeah anyway this one okay they say which we've got a picture of it here okay they say that is going to be the next s-type it'll look exactly the same as that well if that's true that's fantastic news it looks brilliant i know it does i went to see it in the flesh the other day and the designer was there and he said i assure you the asteroid will look exactly like that if that car comes out like that i will cut my left leg off beat myself to death with it i wouldn't i wouldn't be so confident because you see my car i think on a race track you will find that five seconds listen you can stop being quite so cocky about it because your audi hasn't won anything yet remember it's been it's not the best looking it's the most expensive it's not the most practical exactly and we're about to find out that it isn't the fastest either when my mazda beats it oh that is it 64 815 64 815 thousand dollars yeah what if i gave you one thousand dollars for it one shelving some say that he's a cia experiment that went wrong and that he only eats cheese all we know is he's not the stick but he is the stig's american cousin if you're thinking of coming to america this is what it's like you've got your comfort in you've got your best western you got your red lobster where you eat everybody's very fat everybody's very stupid and everybody's very rude it's not the holiday program it's the truth a trailer no freedom grill 500. a grilling system it's a grilling system what is it i have been no no way look at that drop tailgate cooking platform what do you think gordon ramsay hasn't got anything like that in his kitchen have you got anything that good james no right i got a clothes rack look at my perfectly pressed linen jacket and here if you look is a shower in your car yep but where do you get the water from then that comes from the cool box in the back there's tube and then you just plug this into the cigarette lighter hit that button refreshing the shower i bet you're jealous okay sit right the power steering pump really is on its last legs i've got a terrible wheel wobble uh but i'm cool for the first time since i've set off main course yeah i'm thinking how long i've been in the sun putting that tent up why because what i'm seeing do you love this is a cow on the roof of your camera [Music] hey jeremy what i'm better i can't see a cow on the roof of your camaro anymore i'm not hungry what i'm not hungry yes it stinks jeremy they really built these on buses it's ridiculous i'm just hitting it with a spatula another mosquito just bit my face it's not worth it those pathetic lagger swilling barbecuing redneck thugs that i call my co-presenters have vandalized my car now are you all gay looking to see how long it takes to get beat up in a hit town i'm not gay i'm married i've got three children uh no we're not no we're just sort of decorated our cars in a distinctive manner nascar sucks country west rubbish guess what you're in a hit town man we're gonna die now that's it rocks started pelting our vans [Music] for the next few moments our tv program became a radio show [Music] please stop raining please stop raining please stop raining go right i think i'm just gonna get out and kill myself and put myself out of my misery oh but this is my favorite okay 40 to 60 in second gear one second one it's amazing because it's not just more usable than a ferrari more practical but i think out here in the real world with crests and dips and bumps and blind brows i think it's faster as well with the porsche 911 more specific [Applause] well basically we're looking for anything aerodynamically nasty yeah the reliance is a problem well they didn't really design it with this in mind did they is i don't know what you two are saying well there's the air force section of the wing he's just bought one look at this number two i'm having the wall extended through that wall to add a new really really really really really seriously uncool i'm afraid that is true obviously if we buy one we ruin the reputation of that car which is why we put that over there but this the ford gt can at last come up here because i'm getting rid of it it's a ducati 1098 i'd like to put it forward to go on the board in fact i'd like to put it in the cup i seriously know there's every reason why this is a very very cool bike it's an italian superbike but it isn't just technically very very clever it also looks beautiful again at nasa they don't keep a step ladder on the launch pad one small step ladder don't stop laughing i get really crossed [Music] so [Music] look at this idiot caught on cctv locking about in his reliant robin he was lucky not to kill someone if we examine the footage more carefully we see the really worrying thing he wasn't even wearing a high visibility jacket i've decided making public information films i'm going to do one on speeding now really i am honestly i'm going to set you and may on fire right maybe gets on a motorcycle goes really fast see if you can put himself out you stand still just no this is a bad idea all right and then i've got a skyscraper anyways [Applause] 15 minutes james and utter silence i'm just making sure everything's right before i start it now then it's very quiet that's amazing modern tractors on a roll stop stop stop stop i think i did clip it [Music] how many of these were there none since you did that how did you how did you get it weighs 24 tons it was very big looking backwards from the lamborghini tractor they'll do it sorry to interrupt james but will he understand going around the hammerhead no no as i was saying you're right we have been lucky with this no i mean barely a cloud no no it is it's gorgeous weather why do things stay hot in the thermos flask for less time than they just in fact the jcb gti was so fast that even the stig had trouble coping come on no 57 even the office's lack of wheels was no problem for my metal mammoth 1600 talks again good effort but to my mind still lacking ambition [Music] we are away in the most ridiculous drag race and his strategies i've now reached after 25 seconds 1.3 miles an hour all over the place there's a big weave going on oh i've lost one calm away it's gonna be a disaster great classic she's the epitome of cool was your heart fluttering as you talk about it was your tongue really dude will you two grow up ladies and gentlemen please welcome kristen scott thomas you sound like a yorkshire man are you i am the archer i used to live in yorkshire whereabouts i'm doncaster jeremy clarkson's from doncaster he's from doncaster in fact i know his mother very well i knew him when he was in school so you like him i wouldn't say i like well oh yeah this is easy now the judges were not impressed marks for straightness out of 10 half still at least i was doing better than james what's he doing are you imbecile you've got the entire earth stuck to the back of your plow and use a method of plowing they certainly wouldn't think of on the arches fire in the hole good plowing done this is the first thing we've ever filmed where i can do it and those two can't i've hit the telegraph pole james i'm begging you now to just drive the tractor into the film do cultivating mercy [Music] right two hydraulic tubes top link attached oh for god's sake james is that it he's done the whole bloody lot it's 25 acres and 25 square inches mae you're gonna die i gotta feed you into your own machine oh that's not a good time hello hamster yes how's it going really well actually you know what james has got yeah a sob no he's got an alpha no it's a saab no it's an alpha he's got an alpha but he definitely told me he'd got a saab so he doesn't know what car he's got he doesn't know what he's bought i was doing a damn sight better than hammond bad bad thing sorry it's locked i can't get in the car's burning down before i've even built it that's bad that's bad [Music] jeremy had similar problems and couldn't even understand how the fire extinguisher works that's fire i'd been invited to number 10 to a one-on-one chat with the prime minister so i've you know put a suit you said you go down there you're in number 10 yeah sitting with him yeah did you vomit on him no you can't you can't vomit on the prime minister mate now you can if you had loads of cheese suit before you get there and then like some salt water all over him you could easily have done that no you didn't no i didn't did you punch him in the face look i didn't vomit on or punched the prime minister in the face okay how close were you to him at any one point well i was sitting next to him look there's a there's a picture hanging on the bus there you see there's you could have easily punched him in the face from there he's been sick no he's just saying all over his leg and his cufflinks look i that's those are the two things that you're best at in the world being sick and and punching people now you know that new law about kids under four foot five they have to use booster seat in the car he does yes all right all right people under four foot five have to use a booster seat in the car well in north yorkshire the police say they cannot enforce that law do you know why they do not have the they do not have the legal [Laughter] i can't wait for this now because they do not have the legal right to measure children to just measure if you see a policeman measuring your children you think quick call them you

Channel: incT

Views: 614,797

Keywords: top gear, the grand tour, best of, top moments, best moments, jeremy clarkson, james may, richard hammond, funny moments, series 9, season 9, 2007

Id: L9qrZSIiYOk

Length: 24min 31sec (1471 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 28 2020