Best of Top Gear - Series 8 (2006)

so we've got ourselves a dog she's fantastic she is a labradoodle so she's part labrador and part poodle yeah that makes her a hybrid um we were gonna call her prius but that would have been cruel and she would have eaten a lot more than we were expecting yeah um so you're not gonna believe a real name okay this is a work of genius her name is top gear dog it's brilliant it's brilliant okay here goes [Music] why oh why did we have to do this round by where i am [Music] on the plus side it has kept most of its boot space good for hiding it nissan say that it's class class-leading can't do anymore i've done enough i just can't take it i'll leave it there it's not so anyone's going to steal it are they this mail order carving knife that james has brought is useless well i'm sorry so i left hammond and may to it and went to rent something a little more manly [Music] riding a bicycle you never forget how to sew oh damn and blast what what have you done i've sewn myself to the machine james bad news while we were off air some environmentalists broke into our track oh yeah and uh attempted to make well their own version of top gear yeah now we've managed to obtain their rushes their footage and we'd like to show you what they came up with green pressure group uh called the conservative party that is the host look that is our track it's getting into a ford focus with bioethanol written on it yeah some reason and away he goes he's going into the hammerhead he's must be doing 16 miles an hour now it's not very good this show is it no i don't think the environmentalists have quite got the hang of it at all oh look he's got an envelope carriage oh yeah that was there's someone in it showing him how it works oh that's the that's the rear view mirror you'll need that there'll be loads of stuff behind you mate he's off he's off oh there's been his electric oh no he's turning the indicator on i wouldn't do that you'll wear the battery down no yes he's doing wait a minute what's gone wrong oh it's out of juice i told him not to use the indicator you see it's all collapsed in the back it's over here spill off my head's holding it up that's fine just stay where you are 65 66. here we go see from a distance she looks quite good look at that this isn't its best side though because you've got the hinges it looks better than the other side right so the group of corvettes like this i always think i'm looking at a boy band they're very good-looking they're cheap and they make a nice noise in a sort of middle of the road type way but behind the scenes they're all of them almost completely talentless and a bit flimsy look at that it costs nine pounds 99 um you stick it in your cigarette lighter when you're driving in france and when you turn the car on in the morning it's little electronic voice reminds you to drive on the right that might be useful if you're a bit thick sounds like a good idea actually it's a complete waste of nine pounds 99 when you get up in the morning all your luggage has been stolen from the boot and your car's just a burnt out shell you know you're in france anyway with me on the throttle we were soon in brighton with hammond still wondering what we were going to do on the show and james and i wondering why anyone would want to buy the cramped and expensive cadillac with its bad clock and soggy suspension so in other words to buy this car what you've got to do is say no i don't want the lexus i don't want the mercedes i don't want the bmw i don't want the audi more want a cadillac house why would you turn down all those cars to have there the meeting rambled on for ages during which time nothing got sorted of reading the news and then with just over an hour to go i still don't understand any of this as i acquainted myself with the studio james set about mastering some of the station's other technical equipment [Music] right um is that your intro can i just say good afternoon this is still bbc southern county's radio and we weren't what you'd call sleds can i do the weather yeah uh i've lost it what do you think of this one [Music] now who's this except for coming down in the volkswagen van you're leaving a 200 yard gap there now close up [Music] hammond mistimed a trip to the loo and while he was in there a song finished hello is that is there somebody there is anybody there hello and then we upset the station's sports reporter 204 for nine the latest score carl hopkinson 45. rana is 26 not out three wickets apiece for dominic thornley and sean irvine is that good it's all completely hopeless everywhere i can see people in astras m25 godston's jammed up at junction six baroque don't use it don't use it stay at work be productive and buy a helicopter oh look at that [Music] i can't find my son even though he's at maximum attack he's still got time to learn italian now look at that through chicago so where do you think you've come do you think you've beaten ella macarthur 146. do you think maybe you went faster than nigel mansell on the top gear f1 board there 144.6 okay uh well let's cut to the chase you did it in one minute and most of our guests lean forward a little at this point because they're anticipating it one minute 40 now nigel mansell was 44.6 you were 44. oh he's not bothered well is he not interested how fast he did it well never mind i am he did it in one minute 44.4 the fastest [Applause] you utter pirate ow wow i'm on fire oh [Applause] oh for god's sake right that's got it little paintbrush for cleaning dust out of the switches you're scaring me mate and i always like to have the air vents lined up really so they're completely talking now and if anybody moves them no stop it i get really angry does genuinely scare me the ipod thing you know ipods are white yeah cool and because of that i've now bought a pair of white sunglasses they're not cool actually no oh they're brilliant [Applause] jaguar xk ah well i'm sorry where are we who said sub-zero sub-zero you think definitely where do you work at jaguar what do you do do you like this do you work for jaguar yes i'm gonna have to explain all this to my nine-year-old boy who's 10 i've just remembered maybe i won't have to explain it to him did you see um cameron diaz last week when she said my toyota prius does 52 miles to the gallon in the city no it doesn't it just doesn't no absolutely not in fact when they said cameron it does 52 miles to the calendar they were acting yeah in fact if she can do 52 miles to the gallon in that car i'll let her sleep with me that's fair and that's not the sound of cameron diaz reaching for a car fashioned as push buttons in this car you just tell it what you want it to do for example station radio 2. and it goes to radio 2 or station absolute rubbish look radio 1 it knows how brilliant that enter destination would you like to spell the name of the town w-a-r-s-a-w starting with guidance and there you are poland this means of course that you get all the digital channels qvc quiz call price drop tv fashion that means of course you're never more than two clicks away from something with richard hammond in it was before you got hold of it well that one particular tell the ladies and gentlemen what you did to it well afterward had the race i was sort of going back up the hill and then a member of the production team was sort of coming down the hill and we had a bit of a slight bump bit of a bump so this is how you describe it we've got some photographs everyone want to see them you set the airbags off yeah actually next the door panels and of course marie wanted something from the planet zog this is fantastic it comes in different colors please a little bit of style but she lost that battle as well this is going to be hideous you realize that oh i'm sorry what's the matter with plaster oh yes but what you want to do with it is going to be hideous when you hear this just hear ashing call that's all you need to do is yup welcome to anne hathaway's cottage um as you can see i've got a wooden floor in the in the front and in the back i've gone for stone flags now while we're there we've got the log store the wood burning stove there's a little bookcase with a globe on the top here's my wingback i found one that fitted and of course all the furniture is fully adjustable like that this one you see goes forwards and back and this is a really nice touch i can imagine his parents having quite a lot of trouble with him as a child and again today because he hasn't grown much has he adjust my seat right you ready yes i'm ready go yeah that's yes go plant pots are over yeah flower arrangements sliding backwards quickly mcglove the parts we're approaching 35 miles an hour this is the fastest anne hathaway's cottage has ever been 43 miles an hour good yes if this gets any slower we'll have to redecorate it'll have gone out oh no what the chimney's falling off you're joking keep going i am 56 miles an hour hold on 59 60 miles an hour 35.4 seconds this is the safest car ever made i've got a scar i've got bruised ribs and a very badly barked shin listen listen you see these endless uh crash test footage okay of cars being thumped into concrete blocks and the concrete block is never damaged this is a concrete block i would absolutely happily drive this into the concrete block turning left at some traffic lights however is extremely clean another thing why did you polish the wooden floor brilliance the brilliance of this car is you're never really going fast enough to properly hurt yourself you're never really going fast enough to get where you're going is taste okay if you made a car to look like the inside of your house it would have a horse in it and you your house is just full of pictures of the queen [Music] [Music] [Music] this is what they came up with as a base it's a subaru r1 city car and what they've done is turn it into this it's called simply the p2 and it's [Applause] amazing and you've got accelerometers and you've got steering wheel position the slip angle of the car through the throttle but if you then apply longitudinal force drive talk to the rear tyres you lose lateral grip the torque split through the relative speeds of the front rear diff does that help you the relative speeds of the it just kept getting faster and faster until the inevitable happened active diff is switched on here of course system can make any driver look like michael schumacher although in stinks case that would make him look worse than he is look how neat he's getting out the first caller there where can i bind traffic lights [Applause] into chicago is that if your car is on an 03 an 05 an 04 or a 54 plate we want to hear from you okay but james has recently signed up to host a program on sky 32 okay called when sharks attack okay now this is worth watching because i've managed to procure a still from the production of james and here it is is that legal in this country let's be honest it's the barbie doll thing here you go the ken and barbie crotch there's nothing happening that's what horses look like when i get on them so god knows what that was you know they call me captain slow or do they yeah well i i've i've seen the bigger guy drive very aggressively and not very well i thought actually so um did that you can do it well never having driven with you before it's difficult to say but i'd be surprised if you didn't turn out to be better than the other two i like that you've just done two minutes six point seven four well let me just you've done it yep you've done 6.7 yes yes i knew it texting kristen scott thomas no you're not i am why because she is the arbiter of all these things and she will tell us whether this is cool or not well so you're gonna text it isn't cool how do you text to look seriously so somewhere in the world on a film school a glamorous actress is going to receive a text from an old man on a car show phone book god you've got a number uh there how drunk was she when she gave me she was tied up actually so have you really sent that yes and you think she's if my bottom vibrates at any point with the text back that's going i'll move it down but it's cool now no we're off it's a game of football the brazilian skill was immediately obvious but the igos hadn't lost their touch fantastic dribbling by mayor number one maze on for the car the brazilians though were bigger and tackled hard you foul but eventually the igo agility shone through this is the old firm in action we're all over it like a jeep suit he crossed the number two he found the gap what a player oh but when the horn went the score was still two nil leaving the eye goes over the moon lovely work and the foxes sick as parrots etc etc only was james bowl sheep he was also unsported are you cheating great fox is on a run yes my foxes were finally into their stride they quickly backed home the equalizer no yes then following an i go foul oh that was a big crash we were given a free kick and took a 3-2 lead no james bearing the brunt the scrap left wayne may injured i've broken the metatarsal oh that's better and then i discovered jeremy's secret weapon literally ah yes i brought that yeah well you might that's an ak-47 i know it might need it why a weekend in a box with james may and i thought what am i gonna need and uh i'd go over these um oh hang on over these logs yeah i'd do that um and then down here past the moons of jupiter can you see those i'd go that far right to the edge of the solar system this is how far i would go to not drive a vector appearing everything anyone ever does in any walk of life is done better by europeans and it's the same with cars granted apart from with american muscle cars which only the emperor why would you want an american muscle [Applause] jeremy didn't you recently call bus drivers nazis no no you did you did you i didn't you did i didn't i said that they were little hitlers and murderers either way fact is they're quite cross and more specifically their union leader is furious with you personally and he's gone on record as saying that you should spend a week working as a bus driver under their working conditions for their pay yeah well think about it what's he done there what he's saying is that bus drivers working conditions and pay are dreadful and he's their union leader well who's responsible for that him yeah basically he ran to one end of the pitch kicked it to the back of the net and went yeah i recognize that goalie it's mine we had well i said something about a muslim okay two complaints remember jesus came last week we were slightly rude about caravans yeah we sort of set one on fire a bit 150 complaints seriously 150 and lots of people are now demanding an apology they are so um we really are sorry and we promise that we will all three of us never ever go caravanning again no no no no i'm sorry we didn't burn more caravan you're right sir my yeah three two one go [Music] i should probably explain that these are not just any young men they are masters of something called parkour it's a french invention and involves that sort of thing [Music] yes right we're off there they are look at that they look as if they nick something but i didn't catch them for long oh please meanwhile the air freshener device was getting up my nose that's great you can buy a brand new car and they immediately make it smell like a 25 year old mini cab and they're not here they are not here no sign of combat trousers man that is a victory for beer guts over washboard stomachs fashionable clothes from army surplus shops stupid expensive traders here i am in my tatty jeans and my old bit about shoes of the broken laces and i've won oh for pete's sake spacer bush 3 8 internal diameter half an inch outside diameter 35 millimeters from the rear mount using bolts three inserted from the front of the mounting james does he need a washer yes or no you like [Music] [Applause] the only blessing was his small fuel tank i think he's stopped for fuel has this dig ever stopped for fuel before how would he pay for it we got a nectar card board board board board board board boring boring dull tedious annoying backache army cramp miserable hate james how far from scotland is carlisle it's very large obviously and the other is that i sort of like the styling i think it's quite chic could it be chic it's a van yeah but it is a very very good looking van it's as good looking as a plumber's bone crack whatever i know nothing about vans either so i chose a ford transit for 41 years it's been the king of vans and now there's this new one which is better in lots of important and i'm sure very interesting way we're going to be roadies for one of the biggest bands in the world the who well when i say we it's richard and me because james has found something better to do than hang around backstage with the greatest rock and roll band in the world yep he actually phoned in to say he was unwell but if you look closely at this poster the date there you'll see that what he's actually doing is he's in rygate hosting the surrey motor show still that he'll doubtless turn up later on after all the hard work is done i actually think your band is bigger than mine jeremy how is he going to make that thanks 87 miles an hour mine does 120. i think mid-range mine's pretty potent okay three two this could only end well one go however i don't think you've quite grasped how fast this plan is we were feeling crazy but when i say we cruise control james however was more bothered about my sign writing what have you done with that sign top gear furious couriers oh couriers it's top i may have no wait wait wait wait god that's a superb thing it's brilliant how much was it 950 quid i wasn't expecting much umph unlike our cameraman who's used to filming much faster stuff than this i'm no match for hamster look at his postage stamp done probably the best part of 50 brake horsepower i'm just leaving them for dead jake what's he doing with most of my torso out of the window i had a much clearer view now he's hitting no that's that he must have bent the bumper cylinder because it went to minus six millimeters i think that did the trick that's off i was the first to finish without using seleton two one go there's another thirty four seconds [Laughter] 10 seconds he just walked first i'm going to give it a bit of corner old scandinavian flick [Music] he's rolling he's a little bit overlooked he's out that means i'm second he's lost so um she's gonna be dead well there's a police car at the scene of the accident so well if he is dead and you fancy a job on top gear why not write to is it i'm better than richard hammond was one one your van rolled over i could have been killed so you'd have still lost exactly exactly you

Channel: incT

Views: 3,667,359

Keywords: top gear, the grand tour, best of, top moments, best moments, jeremy clarkson, james may, richard hammond, series 8, season 8, 2006, incT, st2i, funny moments

Id: AWgnQS5OpMY

Length: 33min 6sec (1986 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 13 2020