Best of Michael's Misquotes - The Office US

here's to good friends cheers Cheers hmm kinda sort of an oaky afterbirth mm-hmm what was that really really shown him up witness I brought in some burritos or some colored greens or some pad thai love pad thai its collard greens what it's collard greens well it doesn't really make sense because you don't call them Collard people that's offensive hey Pam all this stuff with Kevin um pretty scary but I'm thinking that next time you're in the shower you should check yourself out you know give yourself an exam those things are like ticking time bags all right think about it something to think about there he is there's a traitor traitor traitor come here you yeah the product your prank at all but my son returns Webster's dictionary defines wedding as the fusing of two metals with a hot torch well you know something I think you guys are two metals gold medals live and let live what live and let live I'm not familiar with that expression James Bond it doesn't make any sense of course I'm alive two queens on casino night I am going to drop a deuce on everybody Pam would you stand up for a sec hmm see how relaxed I am I like this chair offers good support it is economically correct it's a good chair I just want to say for the record I did not kill anyone Stanley was attacked by his own heart and he should be released from the hospital and back in the office in a couple days did you shout fire causing a panic yes I shouted fire I shouted many things I also shouted instructions on how to get out of the building so you can imagine my frustration as safety officer when nobody would heed of what he did he had no one headed take headed no one would take headed of my instructions should you take I don't see my coworker heeding this right now would you like to try next absolutely I would not you know who I really think should go Stanley it's not a good idea Michael he needs to rest no rest for the sick several times a day Michael says words that are way beyond my vocabulary this is going do you okay remember spider face no okay because the quote was cut off your nose to spite her face okay yep Michael it's really good to see you hey why are you wearing a turtleneck alright Michael I feel I was a little harsh yesterday I am I spent the afternoon in the park trying to feed the pigeons I guess they all flew West for the winter the old Michael Scott might have taken this but not the new Michael Scott they are in for a bitter surprise I am not to be trifled with do not let your imagination run amuck run what amok it means don't let your imagination run out of control why didn't you just say that Pam Michael do not let your imagination run out of control that's easy for you to say you have a bad imagination it's stupid I live in a fantasy world have us got a minute yes Andy I freaked out why did do I'd say he was late this morning he didn't say that's weird because I was walking past his desk and I saw this which is a tollbooth receipt from New York City stamped really early this morning why would white go to New York without telling anyone do you think he went to see Jan that's not like him is it someone told me a story about this with like laundry and betrayal did you betray Dwight and try to steal this job or something no you are remembering it wrong Dwight betrayed me once before so this is his strike too you know what they say fool me once strike one but fool me twice strike three five four three there is no way I will resign it wouldn't be fair not to the good workers I work with not to my clients and especially not to me let's not forget who this whole resigning business is about anyway if I could leave you with one thought remember it wasn't me they're trying to make me an escape code if I am fired I swear to God that every single piece of copier paper in this town is going to have the f-word on it you leaked it I don't know what to do do I go tell Joe or I don't want everyone to keep blaming the wrong person I don't know what the best plan is damn Oh God my mind is going a mile an hour that fast oh okay you know what let's just go to the dump start looking Ryan come on Chuck got in my car Michael why would we all go to the dump why because I am NOT going to call Sabre and say hi you know it was very valuable expensive leads that you gave us earlier today well because it was grew up by a staff member there now in the city dump not just a frightful you well that's not the way it's gonna sound here's what we'll do we'll go to the dump we'll look around then we'll all go out get pizza maybe catch a movie late night drink some more pizza call it a night what do you doesn't have to mean pizza okay go for a falafel really I'm not going you did this not us okay no you encouraged it you were complicit completion you are all successor YZ Michael oh you're still here I have your back yet oh you've been very good this year yeah except for cheating on your wife belters is sin look it up the Bible people what do you get God scented candles oh well that's appropriate a lot of fire where you're going better get used to it you're going to 8g ll double hockey sticks going to hell Stanley David guess who I'm sitting here dressed as I'm not going to guess you could tell me or I will hang up I will give you a hint his last name was Christ he's a power flight he can heal leopards oh contraption she's contracted everybody knows it was Andy and it is not fair for us all to take the fall for his big stupid mouth ridiculous Angela and like I'm gonna believe one of his sperm lovers okay okay you know what this is disgusting this is like a witch hunt this is like the Blair Witch hunt project there are many different schools of thought on capital punishment that was awesome what should we ask hey can i play why don't you ask if daryl is bad friend who back stab people in the back we have one question to ask the spirit world and he wants to ask that he says no well well well how the turntables Jim Halpert is smudge and arrogant think you mean smug arrogance tonight the Scranton Business Park is having casino night and we are converting our warehouse into a full-blown gambling hall and I know it's illegal in Pennsylvania but it's for charity and I consider myself a great philanderer why I'm taking responsibility and it is up to me to get rid of the curse that hit Meredith with my car I'm not superstitious but I'm I am a little stiffness tell him to call me ASAP as possible Thanks look it's really simple we just want you guys to treat us with respect see that's what we're talking about did you hear that - wait yes did you hear that Michael no Dwight respect RESP sweetie find out what it means to me Tim I am downloading some n3p music yet for a CD mixtape close Holly Oh any man who says he totally understands women is a fool because they are understandable Kelly has an eating disorder yeah she always eats my lunch anorexia she's in right now she's in the anorexic technique we should do something nothing could be done just have to tell everybody you know for the best I guess [Music]

Channel: The Office

Views: 6,380,934

Rating: 4.9472017 out of 5

Keywords: the office, the office full episodes, rainn wilson, john krasinski, steve carell, michael scott, the office fire drill, jim and dwight pranks, dwight schrute, jim halpert, jenna fischer, the office thug life, the office funniest moments, the office bloopers season 1, the office cpr, the office parkour, Best The Office Moments, Michael's Botched Phrases, Anchorman, Misquotes, Michael Scott Misquotes, Buzzfeed

Id: YId_6G-YLpQ

Length: 10min 4sec (604 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 11 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/LeBong_James630]

Always thought “ticking time bags” was intentional

[u/hkhan0001]

Epic compilation

[u/arw1710]

I genuinely never thought I would laugh more after the fire safety open but the conversation following that with the heeding and hedded actually caused me pain from laughing so hard.

So brilliant. Best 5 mins of comedy any show ever.