Best of the Break Room | The Office U.S. | Comedy Bites

i'm gonna hit the break room does anybody want anything bam you good yeah sure okay i have the best stocked survival shelter in northeastern pennsylvania but everything has a shelf life so i must eat and then replace everything that's about to expire it's nice not to have to plan my meals you're eating eight-year-old tomatoes they're still good for another week you know i think i might have some type of cheese in the back of my fridge you might like i've got some cheese you might like too in between my toes all right picture this snowy ash drizzles from the sky a rabid pack of dogs surrounds you as the flame at the end of your stick dies out there's only one hope left for you the door to my shelter you pound you beg dwight please let me in but i ignore your cries and do not let you in you want to know why because of the sign that says no pounding no begging no because you laughed at me kevin will be eaten pam will be taken slave jim will be made a warlord's jester meredith will do okay be assured this day will come it's just a matter of time could be one month could be two months three months could be four months i could see that happening yes eight months that's a realistic timeline 11 months perhaps okay wait now really think hard about this one one year i could see that as a very real possibility 494 months i could see that happening 495 months that's just i have recently taken a lover well that's great congratulations who's the lucky lady pam's mom what pam's mom helene remember from your wedding you're messing with me about what you did not have sex with pam's mom oh big time what kind of cars to drive she drives a green camera and the seats go all the way down all the way down oh my god oh my gosh what okay never tell pam and then secondly good packed a packed although i may have to break it tonight when helene and i tell pam over dinner you all right oh my god hey jim not now toby my god get the hell out of here idiot what did i do okay as far as dinner tonight cancel that and please for both of our sakes never ever ever see her again i think you're underestimating pam i think more than anything she wants me to be happy no not more than anything okay i i have a good thing with the mom don't call her she's right on my way home from work then take a different way home man all right i'll take surface streets it's the last thing in the world i would want to do is upset pam okay so we're good yeah i drink like a hundred iced macchiatos a day and practically nothing else wow there's a really cool coffee place jitters at the steamtown mall you've been there no you've never been to jitters ryan you are so dorky give me your number so i can text you um come on can i have an email address but i just thought you should know i think something a little fishy is going on a little fishy yeah i mean i've been noticing all day that little girl is a child i don't want to see you sniffing around her anymore this afternoon do you understand boy have you lost your mind cause i'll help you find it what you're looking for ain't nobody gonna help you out there jesus can come through that door and he's not gonna help you if you don't stop sniffing after my child okay hey hello jim what's up buddy this is not funny why is my stuff in here wow that's weird ooh dollar for stapler that's pretty good yeah well i'm not paying for my own stuff okay i know you did this because you're friends with the vending machine guy oh steve that's my pencil cup um i don't think so i just bought it uh i think so and you're going to hand it over to me i love these okay fine oh there it is j1 here you know i don't know how many okay i have an announcement you pushed daryl out the window no i'm shot dwight no no that is not funny i love my employees even though i hit one of you with my car for which i take full responsibility look i'm just trying to take everybody's mind off of this unavoidable tragedy and onto more positive things so i thought we should plant a tree oh good at least we don't have to work okay we're leaving for the hospital at one so like a freedom tree i can take three people i can also take three people separate cars pam all right we'll get a card at the hospital and we'll sign it outside our room pam sales people can go later in the day hourly workers can go at lunch okay good good so we'll just all go down there together at lunch excellent i was thinking good work pam but if yay all right since i am the boss i will drive as well who wants shotgun you can't be serious you ran a woman over this morning everyone inside the car was fine stanley that's interesting wow it's a little early for ice cream it's never too early for ice cream gem but we didn't have any ice cream so this is mayonnaise and black olives oh it's comfort food all right god oscar toby and i are founding members of the finer things club we meet once a month to discuss books and art celebrate culture in a very civilized way sometimes the debate can get heated but we're always respectful there is no paper no plastic and no work talk aloud it's very exclusive besides having sex with men i would say the finer things club is the gayest thing about me so tell me again why i can't be a part of your club because some people think that you monopolize the conversation by trying to be funny oscar some people found him jim we're getting crapped on word is our branch sucks and we have to do something about it so what are you gonna do what are we gonna do we are going to make a monster sail is what we're going to do corcoran dropped staples did they yes they did oh yes they did and we are going to murder it you me dwight are going to jump in my pt cruiser we are going to crush this sale we are going to prove what the hell is that music it's vivaldi for finer things that's the problem that's the problem we need rock and roll pam rock and roll all right oh my god that's why people are leaving i i have no words oh god that tickles what i want someone to follow donna i want her tailed i need the name of a good private investigator i think i've got one for you this is you how much you charge 100 a day plus expenses i'll give you 50. money's no object done i'm just gonna warn you and i say this to all my clients you might not like what i find okay and you might not like how i find it how can he still not know we can't figure that out i can't take it anymore wait what you can't take what i am telling andy no you can't do that it shouldn't come from you who should have come from then answer your love for angela angela are you still having intercourse with her what is wrong with you she is engaged did you ever have intercourse in this office are you serious ugh where where where dwight seems like you already know where hey are your little dudes crawling yet no three-month-old humans don't do that my philip is crawling angela is such a liar it's maddening exactly that's just like crate training all night long all night long well count yourself lucky wait until you have two that's two sleep schedules two naps that don't coincide i mean you'll never sleep again no one said you must have two like her genes are so important the world just needs more pam gym dna thank you no no thank you [Laughter] check this out my brother just got a new sailboat he has no idea what he just got himself into there's nothing harder than taking care of a boat am i right unbelievable unbelievable you

Channel: Comedy Bites

Views: 4,893,956

Keywords: Best of the Break Room, British Series, Christmas Episode, Coffee Breaks, Comedy Bites, Dwight Schrute, Dwight's Food Storage, Favorite Characters, Finer Things Club, Full Episodes, Michael Dating Pam's Mom, Mock Interviews, Official Peacock Channel, Pam Beesley, Ryan Howard, Scranton, Stanley Hudson, The Good Place, Will & Grace, Workplace Comedy

Id: gIC3MFdOJms

Length: 10min 6sec (606 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 11 2021