-We're all very excited you're
going to be joining us. It'll be nice to have another
MBA around here. -I'm excited, too. Okay. Bye.
[ Receiver clicks ] -Who was that?
-Nobody. -You and I are done.
-What?! -People keep calling me a
wunderkind. I don't even know what that
means. I mean,
I know what it means. It means very successful
for your age. So I guess that makes sense,
but it's a weird word. [ Door opens ] -Hey, Ryan, welcome to --
-Hold on, one sec. -Hey, Pam. It's great to see
you. Is Michael in? -Hey! There he is!
-Yeah. -There he is! He's back!
And he's with a beard. [ Laughs ] he has facial hair. Look at him, all grown up
and no place to go. -Okay. Should we get started
-Oh, yeah. Let's get started Because, uh, yes, 'cause it was
very serious business. -Yep. Exactly.
-And, uh, we have to have business meetings.
-This is a business meeting. -Fire guy!
-Aah! Stop that! -That's right!
-Let me say something. I know I used to be a temp here,
but now everything's different I'd like your respect.
I am your boss now. You're gonna have to treat me
the same way you treated Jan Dunder Mifflin Infinity
represents a floor-to-ceiling streamlining
of our business model. The center piece of the campaign
is a new business-to-business website interface
that will allow us to compete directly
with big box chains. -You should call it Dunder
Mifflinfinity. You know, push the words
together? -Any other questions? Kelly Kapoor. -Can we speak privately about
our relationship? -Thank you everybody. -Hi, Pam.
-Hi. -Is Michael in?
-In his office. You can go right in.
-Hey. -Jan.
-Ryan. Ryan. Ryan, Ryan. -So elephant in the room,
I have your old job. -Well, not exactly my job...
I had a different title. -Oh well, excuse me, same
office, same responsibilities. Different salary. [ Laughs ]
You'll get there, don't worry. -Well...you look great.
-Thank you, thank you. -Scranton suits you.
-Best decision I ever made -You were let go.
-You know what? I love the beard.
Keep it forever. -Hey.
-Hey. -Yeah.
I created a website. Look,
at the end of the day, apples apples flying
at 30,000 feet. This is a paper company
and I don't want us to get loss in the weeds
or into a beauty contest. -I told you I don't want you
doing these things in here You can use your own office
or do it in the hall. -Convergence. Viral marketing.
We're going guerrilla. We're takin' it
to the streets while keeping an eye on the
street. Wall Street. I don't want to reinvent the
wheel here. In other words,
it is what it is. Buyin' paper just became fun And now from my old hometown
Scranton Pennsylvania, my former boss, Michael Scott. -Hey, I just think you should
know that one of my salesmen beat your stupid computer,
so take that ass[bleep]. -Always a jokester. How about that image?
Crystal clear. -Hey guys! What's happening?
How's my favorite branch doin' -Okay, Michael, why don't you
start us off? -Um...that wasn't much of an
introduction. -Ladies and gentlemen,
your boss, Michael Scott. -Ahh, still lame. Okay.
All right. Thank you, Ryan, for that
wonderful introduction. -This the first time
you've opened PowerPoint? -Why? -You didn't prepare a
presentation at all, did you -No, I had a really rough night, and my boss can back you up on
that. -I'm your boss.
-My other boss, Mr. Figaro -You have another job? -What I do between 5:30 p.m.
and 1 a.m. is no one's busines but mine and my other business'.
-Are you a cocktail waitress -You can not have a second job
if it affects your work here -It won't.
-It did, already. -Okay, honestly,
it is unlikely that I was gonna figure this out
anyways. -[ Kelly laughs ]
You're so funny. -Why is Darryl here?
He works in the warehouse. -I invited him.
-It's not a party. Darryl, back downstairs,
this isn't information you need. -There's information here? Yeah,
you're right, I don't need this. -Okay. -Hey, get off.
-Um, see you later tonight -I have plans later.
-Okay, bye, honey. -Michael, you quit the other
job, or you're fired here. -I am livid, Absolutely livid.
-It's ridiculous. -Yes, I'm having the Scranto
branch come in on one Saturday so they can re-enter sales that
they made on the phone as sales made by the website
which they should have done in the first place, if the
website had been working. -My favorite branch.
How's everybody doing? -I'm here today to do some
creative problem solving about Dunder Mifflin Infinity
and field your questions. -Question.
-Dwight. -Why am I being forced to come
in tomorrow and pretend that a website made
sales that I made? -This is a temporary measure to increase
the legitimacy of the site -I don't like when my client
call me to help them use the website, I'm not seein
commissions on that. -I hear you Stanley,
that is a great observation. Problems like that will not
happen when we launch Dunder Mifflin Infinity 2.0. -When will that be?
-TBD. Phyllis? -Did the police solve the
problem with the... -Yes, yes they did,
yes they did. -Yes, the
social networking feature of the Dunder Mifflin
Infinity website was infiltrated
by sexual predators. -I don't understand why our
website needs to have social networking at all.
-Yeah, I actually have to agree with Dwight on that one.
-It's all about creating a one-stop consumer experience
alright? You're chatting with your
friends, you're talking about the lates
music, about the election; all of it is happening in our
virtual paper store. -And then an older gentleman
asks you "Boxers or briefs?" -I don't get the big fuss here
I like the site. -If I had created a websit
with as many problems, I'd kill myself.
Do you have a question, Kelly? -Yeah I have a lot of questions.
Number one, how dare you? -Bye, everyone. Stay real,
Scranton, alright? Peace. [ Tires screech ] -I think it's self-explanatory Hey, Jim, come here for a
second. Can you answer me something, as,
as a true Eagles fan? -Oh, boy... -How do you live with
a franchise this bad? -On a wing and a prayer, mostly.
-Alright, whatever you say Uh, listen,
while I have you here with Toby, I need to give you
a formal warning about your job performance -A formal warning...
[ Chuckles ] -It's actually not a joke. I know how you
spend your time here, and I know how little you
care about your job. And honestly if you spent as
much time selling as you do goofing around with
Dwight and hanging out at reception, we wouldn't be
having this conversation. -[ Stammers ]
I'm sorry, is, is this because I talked to Wallace
about your website? Because I really didn't mean to
go over your head. -This is nothing to do with
that, alright? I always appreciate
constructive criticism about my job performance.
I thrive on it. -I'm sorry, then do you mind
explaining a little better Cause I'm not sure what's
really... -Whoa, don't get all defensive
alright? It's just a warning If you want the details, Tob
can provide them. You take it easy, alright? -So I just got the fax closing
the sale, and uh, it's big It is really big.
-Congratulations! -Thanks. I just --
-Don't interrupt. Congratulations
on doing your job. Did you enter the sale
on the website? -No, I didn't. I just logged
it in right here, so... -Alright, try to be a
team player here, Jim. Log it in the website.
-Alright. Well it already
went through, so... -Don't worry about that.
Just re-log it. -Hello? -It's the kid!
Look, look, look, look, look Hey! It's the temp! Look!
-Oh, my gosh. -It's the temp!
-Is that the police? -Yes.
-Mm-hmm. -Well, this is what happened Uh, Ryan's big project
was the website, which wasn't doing so well So Ryan, to give
the impression of sales, recorded them twice -- once as office sales
and once as website sales, which is what we refer to
in the business as "misleading the
shareholders." Another good term is "fraud. Mm.
The real crime, I think, was the beard. [ Door opens ] -How's my favorite branch doing? Alright. -Ronni was blech. Things were at
an all-time sad here. But then I got an e-mail
from Ryan that he was coming back to town and I called the temp agency and I told them,
"I will pay you any amount "Just give me Ryan Howard.
Give him to me. I want him. I need him." -And you got a goatee.
-I did. -Did you get that after you
helped me move and you saw mine? -Yes. Gooo-oatee! -Fire...d guy! -Hey, Kevin. [ Chuckles ] That's really funny.
-Yeah. -It's great to see you, Kev.
-You too. -I'm keeping a list
of everyone who wrongs me so, when I'm back on top,
they'll be sorry. Kevin just made the list. Jim. I wanted to apologize
for how I treated you last year. I lost sight of myself, and now that
I've quit the rat race, I realize there is
so much more to life than being the youngest VP
in the company's history. I've even started volunteering giving back to the community -That's great. You're talking about your
court-ordered community service? -I don't need a judge to tell me
to keep my community clean -But he did, right? -Alright.
-Alright. -Hey! I would like
a pair of size 9, please. It's Michael.
-I'm swamped, Michael. Happy birthday to Sally
in Lane 27. -Imagine a company that has no
memory of your past misconduct because they have no files -I was the youngest VP
in the company history. -More recently,
he worked in a bowling alley Tell her one of your funny
bowling alley stories. -Um...
-Kelly Kapoor is gone. Her fiancé Ravi was hired as a
pediatrics professor at Miami University. -I don't need 'em anymore. I am going to Miami, biotches. To hang with Lebron James
and Gloria Estefan. -Miami University in Ohio. On her last day, Kelly was still
a little confused about it -Enjoy the snow, losers. -I'm so happy for you, Kelly -Shortly after Kelly left,
Ryan quit. And also moved to Ohio, for what he claimed were
unrelated reasons. -I've actually done a lot of
market research, and it turns out that
southwestern Ohio is going to be the next
Silicon Valley. They call it
the Silicon Prairie. It's a big university town And, uh, that's not garbage,
it's my clothes. [ Chatter ]
