Bert Kreischer - Comfortably Dumb - Talking About Mexicans

all right let's talk about mexicans here we go hey and i can i can tell these jokes because my daughters are mexican well not real mexicans but they watch a lot of dora so technically i mean has anyone ever seen dora like a little buzzed it is the most racist show in the world it is i swear to you i've ever seen northern explorer okay if i'm making any of this up someone call me out okay but and you tell me if you find this offensive every episode dora who's a little mexican girl she gathers a group of mexicans in their homeland right isa tikka benny boots [Music] takes them on a journey across a river or over a fence i'm not making this up at all to the other side where they meet up with their family and they get jobs or something i don't know they never they never follow through but and do you know who stops them at the river every time the grumpy old troll who lives under the bridge sounds a little bit like it's the border patrol who lives under the bridge i'm watching this show going they should just call it dora the coyote for christ's sakes that's what she's eating where are we going dora we're going to connecticut we get gardening jobs oh in arizona we'll stay with my cousin diego then we're going to meet up with baby jaguar oh i'm i gotta lock down i love i i love living in l.a this is what i noticed about mexicans latinos in general chastise their children better than any race in this country yeah that's a girl that's been beaten by her mom i can hear it a little shell shock right it's the truth you ever heard have you ever heard like a mexican mom chastise your children in the mall like you only have two kids like screwing [Laughter] and everything with a good tan under four feet tall just stops i'm in uh i'm in la four years ago i'm getting an elevator in the mall and as i step into the elevator i hear a ton of noise okay and what it is is it's a mexican woman and she's got four kids she's got two in a stroller and she's trying to like she's got her back to me and she's trying to relax them and they're just they don't know english or spanish but they're freaking out like it's true i don't know anyone but your kids cry like your racist inflection latino kids sound like white kids are like slos and g cos and g kurosky g and black kids are like it's a very so so i she's got two in the stroller they're crying one kid's running around her like uh singing some song in spanish i think it was la bamba i don't really know and the fourth now this is my boy this is who i connected with his name's jose he's by all the buttons ringing the alarm yeah just like he's got something going on up here [Music] i walked in the elevator i'm like is it cinco de mayo already what the so i stepped in at the time four years ago i didn't have kids so when i stepped in i didn't know i didn't know what to do all i knew how to do was give those like accusatory eyes those like but i didn't have to do that because this is a latino woman i've never seen anything like this in my entire life okay i step in the elevator i didn't even get a chance to get the eyes going i was like this and she turns around like a bullwhip and goes jose one more time and you know what happened to you and turns around and it is silent in this elevator silent silent like someone just got a boner in pe class silence [Applause] she scared me i was like and instinctually she turns around i guess like the guy in me i just started giggling like [Laughter] and this kid starts getting angry like just beat red staring me down like and i lean in and i go stupid this kid looks me back with that that latino machismo six years old he stares back at me and he goes laugh it up fat boy and he punks me because i'm scared of his mom too what am i gonna do that's when it dawned on me i was like oh man i gotta represent am i gonna punk by a six-year-old so i start leaning in right mad dogging him just and i get an inch from his face and i swear to you he whispers to me he goes make it a move not he's gone [Applause] and i'm pumped i got nothing in my bag of tricks that's when it dawned on me i look at him he's smiling i look at his mom she's not looking i look back i reach up and i ring the bell she turned around what did i tell you jose he goes follow me it wasn't me with him she lied to me pulled out a knife stabbed him in the heart [Applause] true story i love i i love living in l.a this is what i noticed about mexicans latinos in general chastise their children

Channel: Comedy Station

Views: 5,922,470

Keywords: Stand, up, Stand-up, Standup, Comedy, Station, Comedy Station, Comedystation, Comedian, Cabaret, Theatre, funny, funnier, fun, jokes, joke, joker, laugh, laughing, laughter, smile, smiling, youtube., Bert Kreischer, Comfortably Dumb, Mexicans, Talking About Mexicans

Id: 12PFqQyDNmI

Length: 7min 24sec (444 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 01 2016