Bert Kreischer Talks Will Smith, Chris Rock, Stand-Up, The Machine, and Joe Rogan | Interview

I doxed myself because I told everyone where I lived because my old house by the way you could figure out where I lived I live right behind a Jack In The Box next to a Starbucks and there's sushi right there and I talked so much about the food around my house that people found you knew where I lived we had to move it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood man now let me tell you we have a very funny gentleman in the neighborhood man been watching this guy for years we were I think it was a Rams game where I actually saw him take his shirt off in person with my daughters yeah Bert Chrysler in the neighborhood welcome to the neighborhood I made it I made it I told you that when I walked in when I first came out to LA me and my buddy Croy who's passed we would listen to you every single morning every single morning when you guys do prank calls Kroy would cry while I watch him cry laughing both grew up in Tampa and I remember him saying to me one time what do you think would have to happen in our careers that we would get to do this show no and I was like I don't know I'm gonna get emotional because that's how and I was like I think we'd have to be movie stars I guess yeah because we're not going to put out albums right now and you were like you do have other people in there so we don't have to be black oh man so you are you in L.A now I'm in L.A live in Atlanta I've been in L.A forever and and my wife my wife listens I mean it's it's it's just yeah that's crazy because I remember I saw you over at it I think it was a Rams game man I lost it when you said hi to me I went you know who I am and I lost it and I lost it my boy Eric was like and that's Eric Blake comedian as well and Eric was like you gotta go get that picture and I'm like dude he's got a game and then I guess we both dropped our guards you know and I'm gonna tell you man I don't know how long you've been in LA but I was once 500 pounds right I was I watched the whole Will Smith man yeah that's how long I've been also I want to get into your Will Smith story too because I got a lot of Will Smith stories listen I love the guy I love the guy I know he's getting trashed up and down right I'm a ride or die he discovered me yeah he found me in a comedy club okay you know what let's go there okay let's go there because I can talk about my fat self in a few minutes I remember when he gave you that bet tell me this will Smith's story with you uh so listen will I apologize if you don't like any part of this story this one you know it's real yeah but listen you just tell your stories right so uh so I'm doing stand up at the Boston Comedy Club a guy named David talkerman saw me he worked for Will and he said I think will would like you and he was like we want to do a development deal out in Overbrook uh so why don't you meet will and see if you guys get along if you do you can do a a sitcom now I'm a fan I'm a fan of will since a kid like like I'm talking I legit listen to his music nightmare on my street like like a nightmare on my street I loved it I loved it so and I watched Fresh Prince of Bel Air with my dad every Monday night like I'm a fan when he made it into movies that's my guy I rooted for him I'm like yes we did it will yeah yeah so so he uh so I go out to the studio so I think the hip factor or something up on what upper west side and uh they got two folding chairs in the middle of a dance studio and I know right and so I sit in one of these will be in a second and will comes in I'm talking a ball of energy you know will he can he's a hurricane of Personality yeah first thing he said to me is one love gave me a dab me up and then I'm off to the races I love hip-hop okay so I'm off to the races I know everything about Tupac uh biggie I'm like I'm like going off I'm the big time uh juvenile was blowing up at the time so I had a joke about juvenile like I'm just running everything about hip-hop I'm like uh and Will's like yeah man and I'm like I love you and I love black people say here Jesus Christ so he goes man and we it's me talking for like 30 minutes and then he goes I like you I go I like you and he goes what are you doing tonight I go nothing he goes let's go to the movies and I was like okay yeah hell yeah and then he just leaves and I was like yeah are we really going to the movies yeah and then uh someone comes in and goes I will we'll meet you at Planet Hollywood at six o'clock or and so I was like okay so I get in the car I call my dad I go he goes how to go I go great I go I think he likes me he's really he's yeah we're going we're going to the movies my dad's like huh on a date and I go no like just you and him and I was like I don't know and he's like you didn't ask any questions we're going to the movies my dad goes oh buddy I think he wants to have sex with you I'm like what he goes and your dad is not in Hollywood okay he goes it's called the casting couch yeah and he goes he's telling you and he goes in these movie stars it's very common knowledge these movie stars get so bored of having sex with beautiful women the only thing that turns them on is the look on a young guy's face when they turn him and I go are you being serious dad and he goes I don't know what's more likely the fact that you're so talented that the biggest movie star in the world was to make a stick out of you or that or that he's tired of having sex with women and I was like oh Dad what do I do I might have 10 minutes out so my dad goes my dad goes you show up buddy you show up for real because I could be wrong I could be right I don't know right yeah because you're my only son I want to send you into war unprepared so I show up to Planet Hollywood at 6 00 p.m and even when I get to plan Hollywood this is a weird place to see a movie is this a prank I go to the lady that says I'm here to uh for Will Smith she's like oh in the back I'm like shut up it's the mannequin it's the mannequin and I'm like no no the actual Will Smith and she looks at me and she goes Buddy uh movie stars don't come to Planet Hollywood like you're not gonna Harvey Keitel isn't here to have dinner and I'm like oh yeah that does seem weird I go I'm supposed to see so you thought they had the wax figure like the mannequin like you know how to go is there a movie theater here and she goes no but I'm a movie theater at Planet Hollywood and I was like okay so I'm like I'm like I guess I'll just wait she goes yes I'm waiting and then as you know uh a big dude about six seven come literally peeks his head out of a corner of a door coming out of corner named Charlie Mac yeah Charlie Max says uh you Bert I'm again he goes downstairs I'm like I can have sex with this guy too this is a big dude hey you know Fresh Prince of Bel Air that was Charlie that was spinning on his hands you're like oh my God if you wanna spin me all right so uh so then he takes me downstairs to a room probably as big as this with curtains all around and a folding table on one side and in it are 10 other black dudes all just staring down now you guys don't know what it's like when you're white guy and you're the minority you don't make a lot of eye contact you kind of just like like hey what's up guys how you guys doing I just I don't like I'm like I'm like I'm doing this and uh and no one's really talking to me and they're talking to each other and I don't really know anyone all I'm thinking is this is gonna be 13 black guys I gotta have sex with Charlie Mac I'm sure he's bringing Jazzy Jeff he's ten there's gonna be a long night is this how I get into business [Music] sure enough Will Smith comes down on time and he's like hey he goes guys this is the guy I was telling you about this is Bert and I was like here we go yeah man and then the curtains behind me open up and it reveals a private movie theater and will looks at me and he goes hey man uh grab a seat uh grab me two seats I'll get a drink what do you want to drink and I was like I don't know whatever you are and he was like Long Island Iced Tea he's like you like shrimp I was like yeah because they have great shrimp I was like okay so we ate shrimp and drank Long Island Iced Teas and watched American Pie and watched the whole movie and the whole time I'm like this is nothing what my dad said it was gonna this is just awesome this is everything you'd want it to be Will's got his huge laugh next to me it's a great movie it's American Pie right it's American Pie we watch him have sex with a pie all of us in the room it's awesome right and then the movie ends and he goes what did you think and I said uh it was great and he goes no what about about the room so what do you mean about the room he goes the guys in the room I was like they're black dudes right and he goes no you said you were a hip-hop fan look around that's cool he had brought all the stars of hip-hop he had called them up and had them come down to meet me and I'm like I could have had sex with bismarckee yeah I could have been just a friend that is hilarious he told me everything I know about this business he took me and pitched movie movies or TV shows with me we sold it to Fox yeah but he showed me how to pitch he took me into a bathroom where I got gunshot and couldn't pee next to him right and he was talking his peeing the whole time I'm like just pee just pee and he goes uh and he said to me just be yourself in the room make sure you yourself like have fun and if you're having fun they're having fun and he taught me everything I know about the business and and obviously now having said that I'm a comedian I I all the stuff that went with Chris I'm yeah you know it's hard and that's torn bro because I'm in the same position like Will Smith also changed my life yeah and that's one of the things where where you're like man it just sucks you know what I'm saying it just it just sucks because I root for both of them and of course you're a Chris Rock fan you're a Wilson Chris Rock's the reason I got into stand up see bring the pain changed my life when I saw that I went that's what I want and I hadn't been written up in Rolling Stone magazine yet but I went that's what I want and and then as luck would have it I get written up in Rolling Stone magazine they asked me what I want to do I say stand up I try to stand up for the first time and for whatever reason and everyone in this room knows because we're all doing something we love but when you get that that that feeling where the thing you love you're kind of good at it's it's like it must be What pro athletes Tom Brady must felt like as a kid and so and so I started stand up and then I knew Tony and Sharad his cousin as I started and so Chris is the Tony Rock Tony Rock yeah man Tony Rock Chris's family is just as funny as Chris I mean I mean that sincerely Tony Rock is a hard dude to follow on stage uh their other brother Jordan rock is hilarious dude that is a funny damn fam hey how did you get into comedy though because you know there's one thing when people say oh you're funny and there's a whole different world of being like funny and being a comedian yeah there is a total difference were you always the funny guy growing up uh I was an athlete all through I probably like a meathead all through high school and then a frat boy in college but in college there was something when you're an athlete and you watch people take Sports seriously and you're better than them but you you but you're not competing at your level you just gotta quit baseball I went to walk on a Florida State and I just walked off the first day and then what got high in the dorm room and listened to uh Pink Floyd and time traveled and so and so I just never went back to sports and I and I kind of mocked it a little bit and found my comedic voice I started being funny in the fraternity being the funniest guy people like you're the funniest guy I know and then Rolling Stone magazine wrote a six half page article about me calling me the number one party animal in the country how in the hell does Rolling Stone know about this college dude on campus no they were trying to write an article about the school right Florida state was the number one party stood out and well no they just called a bunch of people and everyone said my name yeah so I was going to be his chaperone and show him around the school because I knew everyone I've been there six and a half years you know something leave College when you have less hair than your teacher yes yeah yeah so uh so I uh I took him around I party with them and then when they went to write the article the editor of Rolling Stone John Warner was like let's just make it about this kid let's just and so like all of a sudden Game Changer because when you said that they asked you about Chris Rock and you said I want to be a comedian I'm like okay well how did he get this article because at that time you weren't a comedian no I wasn't I I said I'd seen bring the pain like my one of my one of my senior years like my first senior year in college and so and I was it was just it was just a game changer and I said when they did the article then the article I said I'd like to be a comedian like maybe that's what I'll do with my life and then a radio show put on a comedy night in Tallahassee uh so funny I just did the Emily arena in Tampa where the lightning play and Derrick Brooks was there there I'm a huge Florida State fan Derek Brooks played for the bucks played for the FSU and Derrick Brooks like I was at the first time you did comedy wow I said are you serious he goes to Potbelly's I did 30 minutes just literally stream of Consciousness and murdered and was like I'm gonna go to New York and be famous and then six months later Will Smith discovered me what does that feel like because that's one of those worlds where it's totally you you can't pass it off to somebody you can't put the mic out there and somebody finish your joke you know so when you go in and you totally alone were you comfortable your first time on stage I'm better alone but the only thing like I'm not a good improv guy I'm not gonna share the mic 30 minutes of material no I just talked for 30 minutes right just it was just and I I can talk funny I can I can figure things out on stage without any material it doesn't mean it's great but why can like I can like cheat it with energy I can cheat it with personality and I think I just did that with very little material and then uh but what's interesting about that alone thing is that and this stinks it's like when you guys get celebrated as like the number one Radio Show in in La you guys all get a moment where you're like we should go to dinner we should high five great job everybody I remember the first time I sold out uh a theater in Boston The Wilbur I was backstage and I was like huh so I guess it's just me it's like a really deflating moment you're like way to go big guy right yeah like I did the Emily Arena I'm doing just Arenas right now on this tour uh the tops off World Tour and uh it's just Arenas and every you gotta like Crouch down before you get on stage and I look up and you see the name TD Gardens you see it up there it's moving it's a little emotional but I don't get to share it with anybody right it's just me going I just I always thank God I'm like hey God thanks for throwing me in this situation this is um I may never be here again but at least I got here once does this you still get that feeling Bert yeah I get emotional I'm emotional very easily and so I like at Boston uh they popped up I mean like uh uh they popped up quicker for these Standing Ovation than I had ever seen it just went like and it caught me off guard and I realized that I'm doing the Boston Garden and I'm and I'm and I and I started crying and then they got they're like then they cheer louder and then when they cheer louder you cry harder in Tampa my parents are in the sky box and I screened the trailer to my movie I I leaked it yeah do not do not play this at your show and I just want to show it to my parents not knowing that your kids your parents were in an arena when you're in college and you want your kids to go to college what do your parents say when you're lollygagging for like six and a half years you quit college you you walk on you walk off do they believe this comedic dream no that they were good about all that when my dad when the rubber hit the road was when my dad when I was on my 26th birthday I had moved to New York I wasn't doing anything I was just partying I had this article behind me yeah all of the stone option the rest of my life I thought I was going to be famous because I was famous in Tallahassee and losing fames really hard to deal with especially back then and on my 26th birthday my dad called me up and uh I thought his wishing me happy birthday I was hungover and I was like I'll just answer this call say happy birthday I'll go back to bed I was like what's up and he was like you're an embarrassment and I was like what and he goes you I just perjured myself in court the judge said how's your son doing and I said fine I've never perjured myself I should have said he's a piece of trash he's not doing anything he says he's gonna do he has no humility as has no work ethic he has and he'll never succeed at anything in his life and it's my fault and I went hold on I was my birthday and he goes yeah I know it's your birthday damn and he gave me a break-off speech and he said if you want to be a man if you want to if you want to go for your dreams and you'll go to the comedy club and you'll say you'll do whatever you can to get on stage tonight you'll mop up you'll I go Dad that's not how it works he goes That's not how it works for you let me tell you something that's how it worked for Chris Rock that's how it worked for a young kid trying to get on stage is that they'll do they don't have a father to help help them out and give them money to live in New York to do whatever they can to succeed so you go do that so I want I remember saying to him I have a party planned tonight [Laughter] waiting and I went all right so I canceled the party took myself to dinner wrote out 26 goals for my 26th birthday I still do that to this day and then went to the comedy club and said and I want to be a comedian and they told me to move back to Florida and I went all right well who told you move back to Florida guy Lewis Shaffer like at the at the club oh wow he was like you're never going to be why do I know that name you don't I don't oh okay okay no okay he was he used to do well he used to out of New York but uh he lives in London now and so I went home I met up with myself from friends friends at a bar I called my dad the next morning almost excited to prove him wrong and my dad goes good I said what and he goes good you've met adversity now I'm going to show you how to deal with it you go back to that club tonight pretend you never even talk to him and you say the exact same thing you said I go Dad I'm gonna look like a fool and he goes and you tell him you're going to be doing this every single night until you got an opportunity that's what perseverance was wow so I went back to the club I was like I was like hey I'm my name's Bert and he goes yeah I know who you are I thought I told you to move back to Florida go listen dude here's the deal yesterday was my birthday I haven't had a party piece of trash like can you can I just give me something like I do anyways if you can bring in 25 people off the street and get them into the club I'll let you go on at the end of the night and so I brought in 25 people I brought in one group of Puerto Rican dudes one guy was going to prison the next day I was bringing in anybody and they and they were they ruined the show they brought him I set him in the front row when I was going to jail the next day and they started heckling and they heckled this girl and made her cry and and then these are your guest and then you go yeah the guy goes hey you say you want to be a comedian you're up and so if there's anything I could do it's ball bust because I was in an attorney house so I lit and I grew up in Tampa where everyone's Puerto Rican and Cuban so I lit these dudes up just crushed they got up and walked I was like I have fun in prison and like and so so wow the place goes nuts I didn't have any jokes I just I and then the guy's like you got a job here call my dad the next day I was like Dad it worked I'm working at this club if I bring I got to stand and I gotta stand in the street every night and on West Third in between Thompson and Sullivan I gotta bring in people if I can bring in 25 I get 25 bucks I get beers downstairs and uh and I can and I can do stand-up at the end of the night and then six months later Will Smith uh there's a lot walked into my life David talked to him and walked in saw me and and was like I think you're hilarious and I figured out some jokes they were all like they're all jokes like uh I can't remember one of the jokes one of the jokes but I was Will liked them because they were like pranky jokes one of my jokes was uh me and my buddy Dimitri Martin is like a real comic oh he's like a real comic but then it was just my buddy uh we got on a train going uptown one time on the on and I as soon as we get on all of a sudden a hundred black dudes get on like a hundred at the same time and I'm I I'm like I don't I don't think this is where we're going and Dimitri goes what are you talking about and I go I think we got on the wrong train he goes no we didn't it's just they're going they're all going somewhere I go no this has got to be we're going are we going to Harlem it's like my first week in New York I go this isn't the right train and he goes it's the right train you're gonna be fine and I go I'm getting off and he goes do not get off I go I'm getting off there's a wrong train I get off and Dimitri stays on and before the train took off I stuck my head in the subway ago Dimitri I'll see you at the rally on Thursday white power of my mother [Laughter] hey man was it was it different coming from Tampa because you know like that's a finishing school getting to New York where it's like oh yeah that that's like sink or swim bro it's proximity is that for New Yorkers the I mean I'd never been that close to people like I'd never like right that's the biggest thing that threw me off about moving to New York was like people are right here hey you never do that you never I mean maybe in a bar but like you don't wake up and then someone's like right yeah man and transportation wise walking wise crossing the street like ah dude all that was overwhelming and the stand-up was so beyond anything I I mean I really got my lunch money taken from me when I moved there but I I like I I like failure I like to learn and I don't mind failing and I don't mind looking foolish and I also don't listen to a lot of people I just listen to myself when you're down I told you that you took that as fuel and energy as opposed to having that just tear you apart well it's on your birthday that's a fantastic question so I also am overly self-correcting so when he told me that I applied that to everything this humility thing was the number one thing uh my dad had a had a motto it was eat uh eat eat eat cash checks that was my dad's motto he goes buddy you're lucky to be where you are there's dudes digging ditches you're lucky to be where you are so when I was at Travel Channel for about eight years and I know and at the end uh I'm like 42 years old 43 years old and my dad's like so what's gonna happen with you and I go well hopefully I get another Travel Channel deal you know and you know each cash checks right Dad and he goes my dad starts crying and he goes oh I think I messed you up he goes like humility works for guys like me who don't have talent and he goes when you have talent you don't have to be humble you can you can stand up to yourself and he said you have talent and my dad said buddy if you don't go for what you want in this business right now I will have failed you as a father oh I'm an emotional God dang it and so uh and then randomly the next week I'm at The Comedy Store and Bill Burton Rogan tell me that my Travel Channel show sucks and they're like they're like you need to get away from that man you should you should I cast and do stand up I was like for real hey man yeah you came into podcasting early very early I got lucky I got really lucky and what year did you start oh because you had over a decade now yeah probably 2010. dude did you see this coming because even us in the radio right there were times in radio radio was like okay oh they do a podcast or we would call podcasting or it was called the graveyard yeah you know those are people that can't get radio jobs now people don't want radio jobs yeah people want podcasting bro you know so when you get in early in 2010 around that who are you talking to uh it was funny you'd bring that that group was like a very those are like the rider dies yeah yeah yeah and so I saw it happen because I would do Rogan's podcast and then I'd go to Columbus Ohio and dudes had just listened to that episode gotcha and they'd be like and and they would and they would be thick I remember when I did Rogan I told the second time I did it I told the machine story right for everyone that doesn't know please tell them yeah I got involved with the Russian Mafia When I was 22. and we robbed a train and so it's it's based my movies based on that it's the it's it's a good story um but what what happened was Rogan's like you need to tell this on stage and I was like oh it's not a state story it's like a radio fun off air story it's like it's not a stage story and he goes no it is a state story and then he said to his fans wherever you see this man he is only to be known as the machine from this point forward and you are to yell it out of these shows until he tells it make him tell it and so that next week I was in Columbus Ohio and they were yelling the machine through my whole set and I was like guys I like I have 10 minutes left I I'm not telling it this guy in the front row goes hey man we know it's not going to be good like it's you got but you got to tell it to get it to be good right guys and every this is like a whole room like yeah come on Bert come on this guy goes well fake laughs so I started telling it and then and then and it sucked it's a when you're a long form Storyteller and I think a lot of people say they're storytellers but anyone that knows like a 10 minute story is a commitment especially when it sucks up front oh and you gotta figure it out and it took me like a solid year to figure this story out and then probably two more years to get it good and then uh and yeah I tell it at all I know that you worked with the Russian mafia and robbed the train I would laugh anyway I sold my movie on it like it's been my I do it every night every show I ever do I I I'll tell this it starts off with when I was 22 years old I got involved with the Russian mafia and then you hear it yeah it's just it I go look until well they're still cheering I'll still tell it hey man and that's got to be like the person to have their hit record you know how you waiting for it oh yeah and then when you finally going has there been a night when you don't do it and people ask like what happened one night one night I did three shows on a Saturday and uh I got done and on the third show I was just like I'm like I'm done I didn't tell these things I got off stage the manager came back and he goes we have a bar full of angry customers I was like what and I walked out and there's about 60 people in the bar and they're like dude you didn't tell the machine and I was like I know I did three shows I just figured I could maybe not tell it and you just looked at people and I identified with this they goes I brought like five people to hear the story oh yeah I got all my all the guys from work dude we gotta hear it and so I sat at that bar that night in front of 60 people had a drink and I told the machine story beginning to end to a just a room full of people in a bar and ever since that night I've told it every single show hey man I remember when we watched uh Gabriel Iglesias over at the at the Dodger Stadium yeah and he said all you got to do is look at him and say I was there you know and you got 60 people that was so privy to a conversation like it's 60 people that say man he told me this story in this environment I was there no matter how many times you tell it there are 60 people that is extremely special too yeah yeah yeah it's uh I mean like Gabriel's like that he's so impressive man yeah yeah that guy do you have comedian like uh colleagues do you get along with comedians tops girl Rogan uh Joey diazari Joe Coy yeah Gabriel you know comedy's closer than it's ever been when did you know you made it because and they're small making 20 minutes ago that that is so crazy and flattering at the same time I mean I mean this is just it's you know it's especially as like a white comic I just never thought I would get the opportunity to be on here just because it's like I don't know you have such big stars in just hip-hop alone that you could fill this late with that I was just media we were looking for you bro yeah yeah we we were looking for you and I always tell people I say man the neighborhood is not to scan you in It's a grand to get in yeah you know what I'm saying and we just like we we extremely have fun we know that as fans but as fans you like there's I think people go would be shocked at what I listen to right so like and I even now I keep my mouth shut I don't want to sound like I don't want to sound like an old head you know like I just I don't say anything just saying old head let me know that you're in the hip-hop I sound like old I just now got an Amigos [Laughter] man how did the taking your shirt off start because I'm telling you man when I was over 500 pounds all the way up to I celebrated I my Billboards I was up there with my shirt off yeah I would do shows and pull my shirt off how did that start for you because I heard a story did it start for you in college oh no no I mean probably yeah right was the store you heard about college like uh were you running for like fraternity oh yeah yeah I'm sure you're already taking your shirt off before oh yeah yeah yeah yeah so I I never had a PR Florida is like a shirtless place like that is a shirtless place and so shirt shirts will come off super quick it was the move second someone's like uh hey I got mushrooms you're like shut up I remember that Saint Patrick's Day I got a mushroom set on the back of a vest but backwards High driving through the campus with my shirt off just going life doesn't get any better yeah but uh I took I so I ran for what we had I don't like seriousness I don't like politics I don't like my thing has always been I like funny stuff I don't know when cattiness shows up and sort of for our elections at school there would be a bunch of cattiness going on and people would take it really serious and they'd say horrible things about each other and they're supposed to be friends so one year to take the cattiness out of it I ran for X Checker or whatever it was called and I didn't have a speech Fair he just got totally naked yeah and I just off the top of my head just came up with speech and I performed a speech totally naked and it and it killed it it killed hard because I didn't I never broke character I just like these are the my these my I wish I had my PowerPoint work but it does um and so I did it because that's the nothing to hide speech right that was my that was my platform wow that's my platform so then uh the next year there was another one and there was a guy Josh uh Josh who was running unopposed and my buddy Brent bracken's like you should go and I said I'll fight if I do I think I'm gonna shut my pants and he goes what you should do that do that so I went why didn't he goes just go up and take a crap on a pizza box and just just don't say anything and I was like done so I go back I get naked I have a tie on and uh this is and so I go up and everyone as soon as I come out naked the place Goes Bananas 180 180 dudes bananas and I'm like I don't say a word I just turn around now what I didn't expect is when you go number two you also go one that's why it's right and the current sitting council is facing me now and I just peed all over their feet because I started so they thought my joke was to turn around and pee on them and they're like what are you doing they didn't realize what was happening behind me and people were no lie diving out of Windows gagging uh it was it was way more aggressive than anyone planned it's like have you ever been invited to a porno set you're gonna be fun and then you see it you're like oh God this is and so I do it I had to clean it up I threw up cleaning it up and I was like it'll be legendary and then they go to do the votes and they're like one of these guys charlie Hardman goes hey are you being serious are you really running because you you won by a landslide I said no one voted for Josh oh my Lord Josh stands up and he goes what no one voted for me he goes this is and some of the back goes no it's bird yeah oh my God yeah bro that was a but that's who I was in college and so when this Rolling Stone guy found me and heard stories like this he was like oh wow this is uh This Guy's in this this guy's different hey man could that work today Bert right yeah you think so I've gotten better too I think I think people would really be impressed with my skills hey man it's crazy because when you fast forward to Comedy now man and just the world everything is canceled culture everybody's sensitive you know what I'm saying like I'm just wondering could that same turning around taking a crap because that had work today because we are so different now bro it's gotten it's gotten horrible I you know I look at cancer culture like I do sharks if if you didn't have sharks in the ocean it's not it you don't have the thrill you know like you kind of need the Sharks and look they're scary they're out there but how often do you see people get attacked right so so you still cancel cultures like just pull your feet up every now and then just go yeah this one probably not gonna kill me is that in your head ever no really wow I don't think about it but uh probably to a fault like I just I I don't think I think everyone knows that my intention was to make you laugh right and and I think anyone that sees it as something else probably isn't my fan and I all I really need to do is make sure that my I think a lot of times satisfy your fan base I think a lot of people get canceled for behavior that isn't um in is disingenuous to who they said they were so I think that's where a lot of the cancel culture that we see in comedy shows up like uh when you say you're one thing and then everyone finds out you cheat on your wife for doing something like that that's where I think it shows up I'm pretty much who I say I am I I'm really opening up and you continue to peel off a lot of layers to a fault I share everything I share everything about my family I share everything about my wife amen which with Netflix your newest your newest special Razzle Dazzle uh man like for one I've I've been a fan I've looked I know that you've always you know you include your family and then there's just times where I'm like man do you have to run something past either your daughters or your wife like or do they just the special yeah there was one joke my daughter made me take out uh she didn't like it and then and then uh but like I mean the last special I definitely should joke out yeah I took it out 110 000 first to keep it in yeah she said no and then I was like 20. she's like no that's a hundred thousand dollars she goes Dad when you die I get your money anyway yeah yeah it was a great joke but she had said to me to me in private and so you know you know when you say something like kind of off color to someone and everyone laughs but then in taking out of context everyone's like what's wrong with that person and then she didn't want that and she also you know anonymity is how old is she I don't know [Laughter] get your driver's license yeah so she uh but she just didn't want it in there and then and you know my last special I talked about her period right about her getting her period and she I definitely didn't run that by her and she was at first she was like yo what are you doing and then all of a sudden emails started coming in for little girls going like wow thank you for letting your dad talk about this I was nervous about having my period and we threw a period party and it was fun and we didn't tell my brother why he was there and I named my period Doug I'm so mad that they didn't have those growing up when I heard that joke I was like oh yeah oh man you can still holding out sometimes when people when they finish with prom they're going to get other little girls and taking the prom to take them yeah I'm gonna do a comedy night a period comedy night yeah and just have women and you guys all get on the same Cycles together yeah there it is you mirror and it's like that is true amen write that down that little box that you have right here write that down hey man when I'm watching Razzle Dazzle which is now you know it's it's available right for you right now there it is and when you did the escape room yeah I had a chance to talk to him about my team I did the escape room with uh with my family yeah and bro I'm super dad yeah I was so frustrated in there bro that and my daughter was like Oh Daddy get us out of here she always said dad got a big brain it came to a point where I was like let me and I went in I think over analyzing everything too I way over analyzed it yeah they have a rotary phone yeah and I was like this has got to be a clue yeah George and ILO like is it a bomb I don't know it's a phone you've never seen one of this don't touch it it's gonna blow up yeah I was over analyzing it I'm literally looking at the time then you're like uh yeah give me a clue oh my God bro and that's just some things that you know growing up as black people we didn't go I didn't know what an escape room was and even here an escape room how old is an escape room they're new they're new yeah like the one I did is over on Lancashire and was it really like somebody's house it's a real escape room it's a real escape room and the dude has video of it of you he had video and I go can I go can I get the video at the very end of the thing they were crying laughing their group was crying laughing and he goes that is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my entire life I mean his buddies that helped him do the escape room and he said and I said you guys videotaping you see every video I said can I have it because I'd love to post it on socials and he's like yeah and then my dad goes oh no well if you post on socials and everyone's gonna know how to get out of this escape room and the guy's like oh yeah what are you doing hey man your dad couldn't say that in the car yeah what the and so so it's a real escape room I think it's a Langston over by the in and out all Lankershim up by there oh yeah yeah in North Hollywood hey man you just did Fat Man directions hey man that's how I tell her everything yeah and that that's me too like all right you're gonna go down man you're gonna see a McDonald's pass to McDonald's you'll see a Jack In The Box now when you see that Jack in the Box turned right but if you see the Burger King you went too far you got to come get like oh man when he said Lankershim we were like oh I know where that's at 101. I doxed myself because I told everyone where I lived because my old house by the way you can figure out where I lived I live right behind a jack-in-the-box next to a Starbucks and there's sushi right there and I talk so much about the food around my house that people found you knew where I lived you live on Agnes like how do you know we had to move like you really live here amen but but that's what it is to live behind the Jack-in-the-Box oh my God bro there's one that I go to allegedly that's it's right at a apartment building and I know all night they gotta sit there in here and I'm like and it's crazy because growing up bro I've always been a big guy yeah I would have loved like I remember one time we lived across the street from McDonald's oh my God that's where it started that's where it started man where I was like everything I did bro I was at McDonald's bro I got a problem at McDonald's because what I do is I go in I give them 200 bucks and all I say to him is Razzle Dazzle oh really and then they go hunk of Razzle Dazzle whatever you think and then I watched them load up I'm talking 20 cheeseburgers 10 Big Macs 40 McNuggets I mean they it is who are you Donald Trump dude we did the hospital we going out during the pandemic We performed at drive in movie theaters and McDonald's would be like can we put up you know we'll stay open for your fans when they get done for the drive-through and I was like yeah if you can Razzle Dazzle me yeah and so and I wish to get I mean we get when Shamrock Shakes are in get out of town if you put whiskey inside that first of all you're gonna have acid reflux all night you're aspirating and throwing up in your lungs but man I I have a problem with I have a problem I just started steroids today really yeah really nice trt testosterone I just took my first shot all right I'm really excited thank you for sharing that with us yeah I'm trying to I'm trying to lose weight but yeah I went to one of those longevity doctors and it was like uh they give you all your blood work and then they give you vitamins and everything and then they said your testosterone's level are low and it'll help prepare your liver if you've done any damage to it I was like I might have done some damage probably how many days look at this roll the dice you're like I did on a pizza box there could be some damage there not quite sure but let's run the test anyway travel with a tumbler full of vodka what could be this problem I think it's my blood pressure medication it brings me to 100 milligrams amen how are you health-wise I'm good yeah because even when I when I look at Razzle Dazzle man you're the good being what I'm saying like like you fit in a seat you know what I'm saying you're buying off the rack like I was when I got my surgery I was severe severe morbid obese really oh man and I loved it I loved it I wouldn't be here interviewing you now you know you would not that's crazy that's crazy that if that moment hadn't changed you what was a hundred thousand dollars yeah it was a a thousand dollars for each pound that I lost and I lost 111 pounds for charity and then that started me out but you know I burnt I put that weight back on and then that's what started me to where I was like I gotta do something and it's and it kicked in this whole nutrition thing and and you know when I got the gastric bypass even to this day I'm still learning yeah I'm still learning man so my thing is my my thing is it's always been a workout really hard I work out every day I work out really hard I'm stronger than I've ever been right and I just started testimony yeah I cannot yeah we picking up buildings just grab your tour bus pump it into my wife move it nerd [Music] my only regret is that my buddy croy's not alive to hear me on your show he would be he would be through the roof he knows me oh man you you meant you you meant so much to us when we first moved out here you were our go-to and I don't know if you've ever had that where you have your go-to that kind of even when you're having a rough day or having panic or you don't want it you're hungover and you don't want to drive out to the airport right if I throw you on all of a sudden it gets better man I appreciate you brother this is a big man I'm so glad Bertha we had a chance to sit down and do this believe it and come back to the neighbors Razzle Dazzle is the new stand-up that for Netflix man make sure you guys check that out I had a chance to check it out I really enjoyed it bro and you peel off so many layers and I'm surprised that your family haven't stabbed you in your neck hurt Chrysler in the neighborhood big boys neighborhood [Music]

Channel: BigBoyTV

Views: 571,813

Keywords: bert kresicher, bert kresicher interview, bert kresicher full interview, bert kresicher the machine, bert kresicher will smith, bert kresicher stand up, bert kresicher podcast, bert kresicher laugh, bert kresicher netflix special, bert kresicher special, razzle dazzle, bert kresicher wife, bert kresicher kids, bert kresicher movies and tv shows, the machine, bert kresicher comedy, bert kresicher big boy, big boy’s neighborhood, bigboytv

Id: YVLch2ap67Q

Length: 42min 50sec (2570 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 14 2023