My boy, Yankee, hits me up. And he was like "Swooz, me, you, nine of my boys, Mexico." He's getting married. He's having his
bachelor party. Day of the flight I show up at the airport. These dudes are all drunk. It's 6 A.M. They drink ALL day long. In the
limo, on the plane. We get to Mexico. They don't stop. Night time comes. We go to the club. We in here. We got a table. My boys keep ordering bottles. We got models. W-We don't really have
models, there were these like three girls that were like 10 feet away from our
table. All of a sudden, corner of my eye, I see
Mike. He don't look good at all. He's swaying, and then BOOM. Hits the ground, face first. But on his way down, he hits this table and spills a drink. The ten dudes get up. They all start
cursing. Th-they look like they're about to do something to Mike. So I tap Armand. "Ay yo, it's morphin' time up in this piece." And then I jump up on the couch next to these dudes. My whole squad sees this. We don't exchange words. We're on that Wi-Fi. So it's 10 of them, surrounded Mike. And then there's 10 of us surrounding them, and I'm standing up here on the couch like "Yo act right or go night-night! I wish you
would, son. We're 'bout to shut the whole club down." (air horn noises) So, the dude closest to Mike sees what's 'bout to transpire. So, he's like "Yo, yo, yo, everybody relax. It's cool."
And he helps Mike up. I'm not quick to rush into altercations,
but they were- the DJ was playing Beyonce, "Way your hands side to side to side to side - put it in the air." Normally, I would have been like (whining) "Guys, no, stop." But the-the 7/11, y'all, I just- I don't know what- that-that beat does something to me. So we squash it, and, just out of good
faith, we buy them a whole new BOTTLE. We're at our table, they're at their
table. We go back to partying but i'm still watching them out of the corner of my eye. Cause I'll still shut this club down. (air horn noises) So, we dancing and partying till about
three o'clock in the morning then we leave. We're outside the club I look over at Yankee. Yankee's like mad doggin' the dudes that Mike bumped into Here I am look over here over here. Don't be mean muggin'
nobody look *clapping sound* here I go everybody we're moving we're moving I'm
not trying to have nothing pop off. My boys get into a fight, end up in Mexican
jail so I'm like, food food ándale let's go. We
all start walking down the street. As we're walking, there's this ambulance creeping forward
down the middle of the street just really slowly just like foot off the
brake creeping forward behind us. We walk up about a block. Every time we move forward
a little bit, the ambulance moves forward a little bit.
And then John stops and turns around and he goes "Yo! What's up? Here come all the dudes
from the VIP next to us and I'm like "No, no, no, not today." One of their dudes
starts walking up "Ah, ah, aaa, listen, listen Linda, I care a lot about
people. I don't know you guys, but I care about you too. This is my squad, I love them to death.
There's a lot of hate in the world, let's not add to it." So they're like, okay
cool, we're squashing it. So me and all the ten dudes in my posse
we all split like the Red Sea and let these dudes walk past us. So one by one, you know they're all kind
of given us these looks as they walk through. It was so tense, you could cut the
tension with a ka-nife. All nine of the dudes make it through
just fine, and the last guy in the line, he's walking through, then he looks at me, and
then he looks over to my boy Mike and POW pushes Mike like a power thrust. Mike
goes flying back like a freakin' action movie. BAM AHHHHH let's get ready to ruuuuuumble PYONG! Bald guy takes off. Before Mike even gets
up off the ground. I looked up the street Yankee ran up, jumped, put this guy in the
headlock, and just start hitting him boom, boom, boom over and over. The other nine guys
jump on Yankee and then all of our boys boom it's on. So they're pairing off one on
one. So now I'm in full mother goose mode like I'm on the sidelines going, "Stop
it guys, stop itttt!" All the other guys that walked ahead, they have no idea that they're boy just
started this whole fight. They're thinking that we just jumped
them for no reason. I'm standing there watching this like, "It's probably best if
I don't jump into this." I probably play more fighting games than
all these dudes here combined. Mess around, I jump in here, throw a fireball for real,
not the whiskey, a real fireball. We about to shut all of Mexico down. (air horn noises) I figure out I might jump in if my boys start
losing, so I just stand back in the cut like M. Bison, like I'm the boss character -
you gotta fight your way to me. They finally all get up and they just start
running. They find this little motel. They run in and close the door and they
hold it shut. One of our guys, John, he's still hyped up listening to Beyoncé
from the club. BRAHH. Punches through the glass door. I'm sure from their POV they're
looking out at John and his eyes are all glowing looking like a legit Terminator.
The top half of the glass door drops down and cuts his arm open. Guess who shows up? Yep, the po-po. Yankee's
like, yo Swooz, keep walking, let's go. Bro, we can't leave our boys. Yeah but we can't break them out of jail
if we're all in jail, bounce! Cops round up all of our boys
except for me and Yankee, we walk away. After about five minutes we realize
they're probably not going to jail. So we walk back up on 'em. Here you guys go.
Here is actual footage of this happening. The ambulance that was following us saw
everything so they told the cops, yo these these guys didn't start the fight, the guys that
ran ahead they started everything, so we're good.
John's arm is sliced open so they take John to the back of the ambulance. I ask one of
the paramedic guys I'm like, "Why were y'all following us?" *Spanish accent* "Hermano, we see these things every night."
"Every night?" *Spanish accent* "Every night." "Escume? Every night?: *Spanish accent* "Claro que si."
You know that that was just day one of the bachelor party *Screaming* *Outro music*
