Driving While Black

my female friends hit me up and they tell me these stories about how they flirted their way out of speeding ticket and I hear these stories often and if you're a guy watching this video you can probably relate to me when I say I don't get chances to flirt when I get pulled over plus I'm black I got a call from my friend Wendy one day and I'm just gonna say this about Wendy Wendy's chromosomes line up very nicely okay girl look good and she starts telling me how she just got a $1,300 ticket as she's telling the story it's pretty obvious to me the cop was trying to let her off with a warning but she went straight hoodrat so because she was mouthing off not only did he give her a speeding ticket he added on a bunch of fines and then doubled it because she was in a construction zone but she finished telling me this story I made a promise if I ever get the chance to flirt my way out of a ticket I'm gonna show you how it's done so a few weeks later I'm driving and for those of you familiar with your Lando area this is on old Winter Garden Road they were turning two lanes into three lanes and I'm driving I look up massive construction out of nowhere I realize I'm the only car in this lane look over my shoulder and I start to turn as I turn into this land I realized the car behind me is a cup this cup speeds up and almost rams me and then all of a sudden they put on their side with it so then I'm thinking what the heck did I do like what was I supposed to crash back there like why are you even trying to pull me over right now so now here's the picture I'm in the only land available stuck in traffic this cop is behind me going crazy on the sirens like this is Coachella or ultra fest and a bunch of cones and construction to my right I can't go anywhere and I'm sitting in the car kind of just stare into the front window thinking to myself there's no way this cop wants me to pull over right here in the middle of the lane that I hear like wow now that's a lady cops voice so I pull over in the construction and there's like massive rocks and lord knows what over here all I'm concerned about is not running over a nail at this point so I turn off my car and I'm like okay let's do this look at my rear view mirror and out steps a lady cop but it wasn't just a female cop it was a black female cop and I'm like yes it is about to be on like Diddy Kong Racing I'm about to lay to Mack down so bad don't even know acts about me so now I've got to mission objective number one flirt with the female cop objective number two get out of paying a ticket now this lady cop doesn't walk up to my driver's side window she walks up to the passenger side window this lady started banging on my window so hard I thought I was listening to the Jurassic Park soundtrack and I'm sitting there like what in the what this is not how I visioned this whole scenario playing out in my head I make all my movements really slow and awkward just to kind of maybe give her some time to realize how psychotic she's acting right now I didn't have automatic windows I had the old school roll down Windows okay it's a don't ask all right so I lean over real slow I manually rolling this window down and I'm looking at this lady like she's cuckoo for cocoa puffs and then she starts at a school for blind people licensed since I was 16 this lady is talking in like fragmental he has Tourette's like she's not even finishing a sentence she is so mad then I don't see this ending well so in my mind I'm just like i'ma have to buffer kamehameha up in this girl's grill cuz she obviously don't know who she's dealing with [Music] and it's at this point that I add a third mission objective to my lists don't get shot cuz this lady is about ten seconds away from grabbing her gun popping some caps off my car and then claiming self-defense now I've joked about the street fighter bonus stage in the past but for the first time I'm fearful I'm about to be on the receiving end of that cuz all I'm waiting for is some random dude to drive by and then yell out round one fight and this lady going ballistic so he yells her head off some more runs back to her car before the smoke even clears she's gone and I'm like what just happened okay mission status objective one flirt with the lady cop fail objective to get out of paying a ticket okay Pass objective three avoid getting shot up pass as I'm sitting there it dawned upon me like I get it that lady cop obviously is not attracted to black guys [Music]

Channel: sWooZie

Views: 21,090,777

Rating: 4.8992543 out of 5

Keywords: swoozie, adande, blacksen, harry gettings, flash animation, Racial Profiling (Crime Type), Black (Ethnicity), Driving While Black

Id: -wlWjSuwcrc

Length: 5min 44sec (344 seconds)

Published: Sun Dec 29 2013