Are men intimidated by you?

hey Tony Gaskins here popping in for a quick video well I don't know how quick it'll be I just got a flow I got a great question said are men intimidated by strong women and I give this question quite a bit and at first I'll tell you this I used to always say no man is intimidated no man is intimidated by a woman it's just not at a man's makeup not in his DNA to be intimidated by a woman and I have to change my stance on that because I realized that I am not intimidated by any woman I am not intimidated by any human so but that's me personally and I think that that comes from knowing God when you come into the knowledge of the Lord then follows a strong confidence which I believe the Book of Proverbs talks about but if you don't know God see that's the difference is when you know the Creator then you know the almighty and when you know the almighty then there is no reason to fear or revere or be intimidated by human beings and that's the thing not every man has come into that place of peace with his creator where he has a confidence regardless of how tall he is how much he weighs how much money he makes how his voice sounds what his accent is like where he's from how much schooling he has regardless of it all of those things if a man has come into the knowledge of God then Christ then he is a new creature and he is confident so here's the thing when you think about it you have to look at Society and you got to look at just the conditioning that we have undergone in the world and this is across the board like you think of a country you may know of a country if you really really study history but can you think just off the top of your head of a country where women are praised and women are put on top women are put in power and in places of leadership and this mindset and this lifestyle lifestyle has been publicized and spread around that entire continent and reaching beyond that continent you know can you think of a place and if you've studied a lot you may know of some you know little plays here in some part of the world but I know in America that's not the case there has always been this thing that puts men against women winning women against men and there's been this hierarchy that has put men at the top meaning we have not had a woman be the president of the United States we have not we don't see a lot of women who are CEOs of major corporations we were seeing it more now even in sports we're starting to see women coaching in men's leagues NFL the NBA women are getting coaching jobs now we haven't seen a head coach yet and I'm not sure when that'll happen or if it'll ever happen but when you look around you see where men have been led to believe that we are the superior being that we are intended to be the head the leaders and it's like who came up with that who created that and yes it can be biblical but there still were very powerful women and influential women even in sacred texts like the Holy Bible but men have been conditioned like this and so have women there are so many women who feel like the tale instead of like a part of the head or the backbone the real so many women feel like the floormat you know the tale the the pinky toe the lint between the toes it's so many I've heard so many women just in their conversation in the way that they described themselves the way they describe a relationship is just this coming from this place of weakness and insecurity just being less than being under the thumb of a man and so when you have this being pushed even to you know as you're being raised and it's being pushed on you that and you hear just slogans like oh he runs like a girl or oh she plays like a boy you know she plays he can play with the guys that implies that um a man is more that a man is superior that a man is more gifted physically mentally emotionally and what-have-you you know stop crying like a little girl you know stop you acting like a girl you know that's what say it to men so then it says to a man okay the woman is weaker and that also you know come from the scripture where the man is being told to treat the woman as the weaker vessel and so all of this is being you know passed down and there's certain families that take and raise the woman as if hey you are equal and or greater than any other human being there I don't care if it's a man he's not better than you he's not smarter than you he doesn't deserve more than you you can have whatever you want to have and she grows up with the mindset like she can conquer the world and there are a lot of men who are raised and always hear those sayings that's like you know don't act like a girl don't stop crying like a girl stop playing like stop doing this like a girl so then that puts in his mind okay a woman is less than she is not on my level she is weaker than me physically mentally emotionally what have you and so when that's being heard it's really just conditioning us to the way we come into the world the way we grow up if we are being conditioned so this is why and this what plays a role in just a mental conditioning and the sight the psychology you know and the mindset of women and men so now you have a woman when a woman receives you know achieves a certain level of success let's say it hits six figures or starts to build a brand or a following or identifies her gift and it starts to gain her some some notoriety there's a lot of women who in those places want to shrink wanna shrink and you know be less than and downplay her success because the world has made her feel like she needs to know her place she needs to stay in her place and so she feels like Who am I to be earning six figures to be the head of a company to own my own company or to be running someone else's company Who am I to earn more than 90% of men in the world or in my country Who am I and so she starts to have this war and it's battle within and a lot of times that will cause those women to actually be easier than women who don't have their level of success easier meaning get on your back eat faster it will cause those women to relinquish their power relinquish their control in their life to a weak and insecure man who was ready and willing to take that power in control meaning the woman comes in and she's the breadwinner and he makes you know half a million the man makes you know thirty five to seventy thousand and she gives him complete control over all of the finances and removes her mind from the equation of how money should be invested saved used for the family and now this man starts to spend their money from his insecurity so now the next thing you know she's looking up and seeing bills not being paid foreclosure notice you know final notice on the lights and the water and like what is going on and it's really he's over here beating himself up and he's drinking too much partying too much getting into all this other stuff because he feels so small he feels less than because all his life he's been told that she is less than and that he is the head that he is the breadwinner he's supposed to bring home the bacon he is supposed to be the one you know in the spotlight making the most money provide for the family so when that doesn't happen and it's not happening for him he shuts down he breaks down he doesn't know how to respond to that because of all of the conditioning that is going on in his heart and mind and so that is where and why it is true that there are a lot of men who are intimidated by strong women and it's really just his positioning in his mind how he views himself how he views the world around him and it's not his fault it's just because that's what he's been told if he was told and if the world showed him in movies you know the media the magazines if he was shown and told and led to believe and he got to see the the true value of a woman the true abilities you know the cape what what she's capable of then he wouldn't be shocked it wouldn't send him into a state of depression anxiety anger frustration jealousy when she earns more than him or she gets online and builds a brand that's bigger than his he wouldn't be sent into this place of worry and stress and self sabotaging behavior if he was told throughout his life she is dynamic she's she's equal to you like she's no less than you so we shouldn't be saying stop playing like a girl stop acting like a girl stop crying like a girl but that's the things we say so it takes him puts the man in this weak position meaning he's not being affirmed so he's coming up and he's not being affirmed he's not being told about his own greatness so he's weak and insecure immature lost hurting and Confused but yet he's being told that she's less than him so if he feels like nothing then how is he going to view her if she was always referred to as the weaker vessel as less than not understanding what that scripture means in the Bible when it was talking to a man it wasn't saying that truthfully and literally she is not as capable as you it was telling the man to treat her with honor and respect and not to use what he could do in that day and time to hurt her not to do those things to her but to treat her with honor and respect as though she is the weaker vessel and that being taken out of context to say like she is less than and so that is why we have this phenomenon of women you know growing more and more successful and Men shrinking more and more so now the table's a turn where there was a time where a lot of women expected to just be taken care of to be a stay-at-home mom to get married be a stay-at-home mom and just manage the household and you know help raise the young uns but now is the place to where the breakdown in society is causing men to be in a place of you know insecurity and immaturity and women in a place of not being able to depend on a man so therefore having to get how she lives go get her own and so now women are being asked and expected to hey get your education get your your bachelor's your masters your doctorate whatever keep getting education so you can fend for yourself take care of yourself do not depend on a man so the flip side of this is depending on where the messaging came from and what place it was coming from when it was given to a woman some women could take this thing and become bitter towards men and say you know what you're sorry you less than you're not even a man I got me I take care of myself I don't need you you know I'm this I'm that and what happens is there's this disposition there is this thing inside of the woman that says okay I was told that I'm less than and I was told that I couldn't do this and I couldn't do that and then so the woman puts a chip on her shoulder and she achieves success with the wrong motives so instead of doing it from a place of self-love she does it from a place of anger rebellion or frustration and therefore when she gets it she doesn't know how to wear it she doesn't know how to really be humble and grateful for it instead she stamps it on a forehead she stamps it on a forehead she gets a t-shirt she gets the patch she gets the purse the backpack everything that says I am successful and then she wears that as a badge of honor and she attacks men with that she look I'm more successful than you you're a man you supposed to be all that you're supposed to be strong you're supposed to be the head guess what get onto my foot you too tail I'm I wear the pants I'm the man I make more money than you you can't tell me nothing and so she come from this place of you know anger and frustration because of all that she's heard and so now you could have a man who actually was raised in a healthy way he ends up with that woman and he's being belittle demeaned you know talk down to degrade it because of where she's operating from so so you have opposites attracting so here you have this one woman who is confident and strong in a healthy way in her position in the world in her success and she ends up attracting the man who is is weak and not confident in his position and his insecurities and vulnerabilities start to make him act out so he acts out and he uses what he has to woo a woman to get a woman to trap a woman gets hurt and then miss uses her money mistreats her controls her and breaks her down because of what he's feeling and then you have the opposite having happening where you have this woman who she was raised almost like a maneater a man hater because of what the world had done to women so now she gets her success and she wants to smear it in the face of any man she dates so now she has this you know there's this man over here who he was healthy and whole and and a good person and would not have viewed her based on her success her money her accolades and would have respect to her and treated her right and then the next thing you know she's running it in his face smashed it in his face and he's like oh so now he is feeling less than and he's feeling broken down so this is what's happening here and I want you to understand this that it is real and the question is okay so so what should a woman do what should a man do if you are a woman then under no circumstances should you settle should you relinquish your power should you stop pursuing your goals and your dreams you should not shrink you have to be who you are reach the highest level of success then that you can reach but what you have to understand is your accomplishments how much money you make and what you do in the world it doesn't define you you're God's child and you don't have to wear that on your forehead wear it on your sleeve you don't have to talk about it all the time you don't have to make it your calling card it doesn't have to be your slogan that I need a man I want a man but don't need a man I'm independent I'm strong I can do this all by myself no that has to come out of your mouth that's already known and understood so you can walk in just peace harmony humility in the sense of you don't have to have a false sense of confidence with this arrogance and this ego because you've achieved some success regardless of what the world has said about you and what you wouldn't be able to do once you do it you got a rest in the fact that you've done it and let that be good enough and don't feel like you have to make men feel less than to make yourself feel better and with men what men need the doers may have to realize that yes the Good Book says to treat her as the weaker vessel but that doesn't mean that she's incapable of earning of growing building you know making a name for herself holding her own that doesn't mean she can't take care of herself that she can't lead that she can't be the head of a company that she can't be you know the head of a family that doesn't mean that she doesn't have the wherewithal the knowledge the emotional intelligence and the ability to do what she can do with it so you have to understand that as a man and what you have to do is you have to get beyond this thing of oh I'm the man so I should be earning the most and I'm the man so I'm stronger and I'm better and I'm wiser and I'm smarter and realized that she is fully capable that she has a brain just like you have a brain she has a spine just like you got a spine you know she she can hustle and grind just like you can hustle and grind and that she is uniquely fearfully and wonderfully created in her own weight and she has her own strengths so as a man what you have to understand is that your strength is in your gentleness what I mean by this is your strength is in your ability to love her support her and to help her flourish in her gifts and in her calling instead of trying to suppress her and get her to be in a role of just stroking your ego just stroking trying to feel your voice because your parents didn't affirm you and speak life into you and show you and tell you all that you could be all that you could become so it's not your place to try to you know debates this woman and strip her of her self-worth and her dignity it's also not your place as a man to see this woman as your teammate I mean as your opponent to see her as an opponent and treat her like an opponent meaning trying to deceive her and manipulate her to get her to drop her guard so you can get behind the lines get behind the walls and then and robbed her from the inside out be the enemy sleeping next to her that's not the goal that's not what you should be doing but what you have to realize is that what she has in her that you may lack the confidence that she has that has given her just the ambition and that go-getter mentality that what she has what you may be lacking she can give that to you she can speak life into you and combine together as a team y'all can accomplish all of your dreams so instead of trying to tear her down and instead of being intimidated by her be inspired by her and allow her to add to your life and then operate from the right place so that you can also add to her life because men and women are different and regardless of the level of success a man has a woman can add to that regardless of the level of success a woman has a man can add to that so if the two come together operating from a pure place a place of self love then the two can join forces and be even more powerful and dynamic in the world then if you come in and you are opponents because of the mental conditioning or the lack thereof the programming that you have in your mind that says this person this gender is this and should it be this and my gender is this and should it be this and it's all what you were told by the world around you the music the media the movies all of these things which may all be aligned because what you have to realize is that when you believe the lies about yourself you cannot achieve your higher self you cannot reach the level of being your higher self and so when you are your highest self and when you are operating at your best now you attract someone who is doing the same now you become very effective and efficient now you are a well-oiled machine as a couple and you raise that in when in your children when you're raising them that's what you are passing down to them so what happens is all of the things that we do compulsory the things that we fall into it is a Sunday sermon I just want a little bit in a little different zone a day so you know forgive me for that the things that we do like just giving in to all of the impulse buying the things that keep us trapped paycheck to paycheck you know in in mental poverty even if you're not in physical poverty just being mentally impoverished all of those things all of those behaviors because of those belief system that we have when you really tap in to your higher self you break that so now there's no control now the control that allows a country to make billions and billions of dollars in one day because it's called Black Friday now that day has no more control or every other thing that has been put in place to kind of keep you like a rat in the rat race you know just on the order hamster on the wheel those things no longer work on you when you come into your higher self and you truly can see things for what they are instead of just being a product of your environment or a product of your conditioning in program and as you were coming up so I say this to say women have to stop seeing men as just these bitter boys you know these monsters and although there are some of those things that may exist in both genders and men have to stop seeing women as these you know weak and feeble and inferior beings that cannot you know think on their own and accomplish and achieve it and worthy of leading men have to stop seeing women as less than and understand what it truly means when you received a call from God to love your wife as Christ loved the church what that truly means and it doesn't mean that she's less than you and that you have to be the head and everything like yes I may call some shots him in my marriage meaning because that's my area of strength my wife she may always ask me and say what do you think we should do what do you think we should do what should we do here what should we do there and there's a lot of times that are taking I put it back on her and I say listen that's your strength you make that call you know that's your strength so she leads in a lot of areas and I'm lead in a lot of areas but we both know our strengths and we're not trying to overstep those bounds so she's not trying to tell me how to build business and every single thing I should be doing because she knows this is what I do and that this is my gifting and I'm not trying to tell her what to do with every aspect of her life because I know those are her gifts so once you understand that you're able to come to a place to realize and this way if you got this far put be blessed in the comments I still got a little bit to go to what you have to realize as a woman is that the man for you is not intimidated by you and at no time at no time ever should you as a woman relinquish your power hide your position drop your guards for an insecure weak-minded man and I remember coaching so many times I've coached women they're like you know I'm dealing with this guy and I make money so I can afford to eat you know steak and shrimp he can barely afford a hot dog so he doesn't he want me to eat hot dogs with him because he feels like the man has to pay for everything so we eaten hot dogs but I've surpassed that level and I won't meet some steak and shrimp I want to eat at the nice restaurant he trying to go through Nathan's hot dog drive-through and who put Vienna sausage on a bond because that's where his fundage is at guess what that's not your man that's not your man if you say I want this and he can't afford what you want but yet he's also not comfortable with you being able to afford it then that's not your man so he's not going to say another thing is like you know I've heard women say well y'all forgive him I love heard been talking too much and the woman says well he I like jewelry I like shoes I like the shop but he cannot afford some of the things that I buy for myself so he wants me so when I buy myself something he gets mad and like why did you get that why did you get that I wanted to be able to get that for you and then the woman is like man you know what am I supposed to do because I like nice things and I can afford it but he gets mad because he's not the one buying it that's not your man because if you like something and you have afforded yourself the opportunity and the ability to be able to get what you like then you should be able to get what you like and if he cannot afford it then he should not have a problem with it if you go and get it for yourself he should be happy for you so this is what you have to understand there are honest men who have come to the place of self-confidence that they know those men know that they are millionaires or a billionaire but just have not received the check in their hand but they're confident enough to keep going to trust the process to keep using their gills to keep working and to keep building and their confidence will allow them to be ok with the woman who earns more than them and with the woman who can do for herself and his confidence will allow him to just bring to the table the assets that he can bring to the table which may be intangible things he may have money he may make money but he may not make more than her he may have a nice trajectory for his life but his path may not be as fast as hers his pace may not be as fast as hers but he knows is coming in due time and he knows the tables will turn so he wants to love and treat her with respect because it may come a time she has to sit down for the family because she needs to be there or maybe she wants to be there for the first couple years few years so that they don't have to go to daycare and he knows it'll be in that season that he finds his stride and he steps up into his own and his income has is drastically increased so he doesn't want her to be so broken emotionally because of what he's done to her that she can't function and be the best mother that she can be because of her pain that he's caused so he was still speaking to her life love and support her and so as a woman you have to realize that that man does exist that although he may be warring in his spirit and he may have some other thoughts sometimes just based on the world around him you can't go into it as a woman and being vindictive and angry and frustrated because you've met so many deadbeats you still have to go from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm so that when you meet the one you have the heart and the passion and the enthusiasm to make it work with him instead of running him off and so it's work that has to be done on both sides what men also have to realize is that if you are the breadwinner and you earn more you can't take and use that against a woman and say oh I make the money so you got to do what I say do or if the tables turn to where it shifts to your favor as a man that you're making the most money that you're not then telling her she has to do what you say do because now you make the most money if whether that was always the case or whether that becomes the case so as a man you got to be confident and you got to know who you are and you got a love and respect and cherish regardless of the financial situation or the status situation you mean sometimes it may not be a case and I see this a lot too to where it may not be a case that the woman is necessarily like the breadwinner make most money or this crazy amount of money but it may be she's more of a public figure she has a bigger name more people know her and that could be locally like just in in the city like her just being a boss in the city or it could be even you know in the celebrity world you know where the woman's name is just bigger than the guys or just hotter than the guys and that happens on local levels and small cities too and so a lot of times men can act out when that's the case and men start doing stuff and here's the thing what if you're a woman and you're dating and you are quote-unquote dating down what you have to be mindful of is that you still got to keep your eyes open and you have to realize you always have to trust your intuition and you can't relinquish your common sense or your power just because he's the man you can't go into the space and say okay because he's a man I'm gonna stop thinking I'm gonna stop paying attention I'm gonna stop using my gifts and my natural inclinations you know my wisdom because he's the man and if I'm using my gifts then I'm stepping on his toes and making him feel like less than so let me shrink let me shut up let me be quiet and let me let him call all the shots because he's the man and I want him to feel like a man no that's that's ignorant that's ignorant lose because that's the reason why a woman was created to bring something to the table to bring your unique set of gifts to the table to be coupled with a man's unique set of gifts so that you can build and strengthen one another you complement each other instead of one person being depleted to try and complete the other person well whether it goes the other way around or not because it goes both ways sometimes it's the woman do - the man sometimes the man doing it took one and so understand this you know ladies stop shrinking just because you're successful you have these things these accomplishments you don't have to wear it on your sleeve and brag about it and talk about it and just offer this unsolicited information but if you're asked what you do you know what degrees you have answer those questions answer those questions with pride with confidence and just knowing that you are that you are that you matter you are sufficient you are enough and know that the man for you will be totally fine with it and if it is intended for the relationship to be a situation where the man is the breadwinner or has the bigger name in the community if that's what's gonna make your household function better because of how you view the world and how he views the world be it right or wrong you're going to attract that if that's what it's supposed to be but don't shrink or change or settle trying to just because you want to have a warm body just because you want to have somebody so understanding you know ladies if you're single or evens you're in a relationship keep pressing you know keep pressing keep growing keep doing what this season calls of you what it requires of you and if it's a season of being a homemaker you mean a stay-at-home moms or stay-at-home wife if that's the season okay be the absolute best at that in that season if the season calls for you pursuing your you know corporate dreams your world dreams your business dreams then be the absolute best in that season and don't compromise for for a man's fragile ego you know for his fragile masculinity and as men know who you are but operate understanding that your strength is in your humility is in your gentleness that as man you shouldn't allow your money and your success to go to your head and make you feel like you're better than anybody else like you're better than a1 and orator like she is less than and if on the other side if you are not where you want to be as a man you should not let that make you feel like you are less than like you are unworthy incapable and like you have to bow down to a woman in the sense of letting her mistreat you and run all over you and talk you out because you need somewhere to stay or you want somebody with this level of money so your life can be better you can shrink into that role either because you're gonna despise that woman and you also are hating yourself so listen this is a tough you know tough conversation to have and I feel like in one way or another it affects everybody today because never before have women been in a position to be this vocal this ambitious you know this successful the world is changing that's why I try to tell you all the world is changing so as the world changes you got to be able to read and respond not read and react read and respond and you have to understand your position in the world and what you're capable of doing and what that means what that is saying so that's why I'm saying also to women all the time like today is the day of the female boss you know we've always had male bosses but now we have female bosses as well and it's growing and it's gonna continue to grow within the next few elections we probably most likely will see a woman become the President of the United States and so with that happening look things are changing and that's why I say that we're becoming more and more equal we've always been equal in the sense in God's eyes but man has taken and created this this separation this division which then turns into this resentment and animosity but today the playing fields are becoming more and more level and that's why I say like it's nothing wrong today if a woman earns more money and she says listen I could I can afford this meal and you know this steak house we don't have to keep going to Bobby lose eat in this you know processed food that they heating up in the microwave back there just because you feel like you have to pay for this like I can't afford my job my income allows us to be able to afford something we are team so let me put it into and we could eat a little better over here and this is day and time to where it's nothing wrong with a woman paying for the meal as long as she has a man that truly respects loves and values her and treat her with respect that if you are a boss in the boardroom in your business in your life you don't have to come and be an intern in your relationship you don't have to come in your relationship and be your personal assistant to be a maid to be a janitor if you are the CEO in in the world in your business you don't have to come and shrink in your relationship you can be who you are and what life has allowed you to be does not mean you have to be arrogant or condescending but it also does not mean that you should have to shrink and relinquish your position your power and your influence and and your success to placate Carla ooh placate already know what that means sound good though would it be look it up a gesture they just felt good right there you hear me you don't have to amuse it again placate is this even the word I looking up y'all don't put a definition I'm not literally saying look this up okay so you don't have to play to his weakness to his ego and if he can't get with it you hear me if he cannot get with it then move on with your life Point Blank period that's not your man so if you feel yourself happen to shrink having to hide your success having to play a role just to make him feel like more of a man that's not your man that's not your man so understand that as real as I could put it and make sure that you check the links in the description a lot of y'all send me a message or put in the comments how where do I do this where I'll do that I try to put all my Rev relevant links in the description if you need a life coach I'm on my mentor dot life that's a website my mentor dot life it's a lot of other coaches on there too so look around browse around understand it's a new site still working through a few kinks so you know you book a coach and they happen to be late or missed a session just send an email in you probably could find their name on facebook too and just understand sometimes the email address may be blocking the email cuz it's new but a lot of coaches been getting booked having sessions they telling me that clients signing up for another session so look I'm about growth we're about growing y'all gonna see me into my mentor headquarters sometimes shooting videos but this is my home office so but sometimes I'll be in the corporate office shooting so you'll see that from the time cuz I just went in and got it moved in but thank you so much for the support to all the blessed tribe members thank you very much for being a member of the blessed tribe sometimes you know what YouTube they strike certain videos for certain words that you may say and sometimes by got to be extremely real with you I have to say certain words just being real but having the members it helps me because if YouTube say listen boom we can't do anything with this so this is up zero zilch or we gotta take this down I'm able to give it to the members because the members saying hey Tony I appreciate what you're doing it go by dollar ninety-nine they're putting the put in the Hat so you could keep on with these hair videos on a daily basis or a closed tour so thank you all so much and if you want to become a member of the Blessed try the link is in the description this has to become a member of this channel and join the Blessed try click here thank y'all god bless you we'll talk soon Oh Fargo I got some upcoming events now on the 21st in Atlanta the singles singles workshop it's not that many tickets love the 22nd is a life coach and certification in Atlanta and if you can't make it to the live one but you want to still become a life coach you can take it online at Tony Gaskins Academy comm you get 50% off of the online or not alive when because it's already 50% off but the online one to get 50% off you gotta use the coupon code my mentor no spaces no caps my mentor February 23rd I'll be in Orlando it's a self love event that's not my event but I'm a featured speaker it's in Orlando and also the big big thing that I'm really excited about is the retreat in August the self-love retreat August 14th through the 16th its retreats in California it's up in the mountains on this beautiful campus three meals a day three hots and a cot is there call it we do I think two sessions a day is two nights three days you just put down a deposit you know you pay overtime so the link in the description Tony Gaskins comma four slash events check out some other I got some other events on there I look forward to meeting you in person taking a picture with you on the roll god bless you with a chop song

Channel: Tony Gaskins

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Length: 47min 59sec (2879 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 02 2020