7 Jerk Achievements for Total Jerks

webster's dictionary defines jerk as an annoyingly stupid or foolish person to which we say takes one to know one dictionary at any rate we know a jerk when we see a jerk or when we're the one being a jerk and that's especially notable whenever it's in a video game where more usually we're meant to be a noble hero or a cool badass and whenever that video game decides to give us a precious achievement or trophy for acting in that jerk way hurray for positive reinforcement of our bad behavior and hooray for these seven games watch out for minor spoilers for them [Music] who are you cal custis who was that back there an imperial inquisitor she's a force user hunting jedi survivors and now that she knows who you are she will not stop until she destroys you some of the greatest jedi heroes in the star wars saga have a hint of the dark side of the force within them anakin skywalker famously succumbed to the dark side and transformed into stormtrooper frisbeeing sith lord darth vader and luke skywalker spent most of the empire strikes back and return of the jedi movies trying to avoid turning into this guy friends driven to the dark side i don't blame him those eyes really clash with his hair jedi fallen orders endlessly upbeat hero calcus by comparison is almost completely squeaky clean the closest he gets to the dark side is being so excessively nice and supportive to his droid companion but it starts to come across as a bit patronizing okay okay he probably would have won probably it's not exactly murdering the younglings is it so there are very few opportunities in jedi fall in order for you to really lean into the dark side that is until you delve into the achievements list and discover the achievement called kickoff which asks you to kick an enemy to death yes in spite of you wielding a lightsaber described in the movies as an elegant weapon for a more civilized age in order to bag this achievement you'll have to dish out a clumsy and random shoeing to do this you'll need to have unlocked the evasive kick maneuver and perform some perfectly timed parrying counter-attack combos that stormtrooper's last moments were knowing he wasn't even worth the wear and tear on your lightsaber regardless of the perfect timing this is not the swift painless and merciful execution we'd expect from a light side jedi still that's definitely the nastiest most dark side calculus gets in the entire game then it's right back to tending to his terrarium hey griez what's this thing what you've never seen a terrarium before you know if you wanted to kill like one youngling just to make it interesting i'd kind of be fine with it mother i bring you fresh prey you are so kind to me daughters now let's take a look at him if you weren't paying a lot of attention to resident evil village the latest game in capcom's long-running bio-weapon battling survival horror series you might be forgiven for thinking that the main character is lady domitresk otherwise known by her official title of tall vampire lady to hell with the ceremony that man will pay for what he's done that's because lady domitresq was absolutely everywhere prior to the game's release with fans being particularly taken with her size her height and how tall she was also her stature of course lady d isn't really the main character of resident evil village that owner falls to i want to say eric errol the one who's always maiming his hands on things wow well ethan winters ethan thank you as ethan though you do get to spend some time inside lady domitress house the imposing gothic castle domitress and let me tell you you are one bad houseguest for a start you're always vandalizing her parts killing her daughters and worst of all not letting her kill you and drink your blood which in wherever it is resident evil village is set is the absolute height of rudeness rest while you can because we will hunt you and i will break you if you really want to push it though and go full jerk on your gracious hostess and earn some gamer score into the bargain you can go for the achievement called hooligan which requires you to smash every smashable window in this no doubt world heritage site historic castle as you'd expect with a house this size you really have to put the work in to smash all of these windows but if you manage to seek out all 19 smashable windows and break them letting in the cold village air probably ruining the many fine tapestries and paintings then you get a 15g achievement for your jerk behavior and presumably a guarantee that you won't be invited back again although to be fair if you were hoping for a return invitation knocking down the main tower and murdering your hostess probably isn't the way to go about it we don't expect good manners and peaceful ways from the buccaneers in rares multiplayer piracy simulator we expect rowdy swashbuckling looting and murder this is sea of thieves not see your friends [Music] even so there's got to be some kind of unwritten pirate code against doing what the sea of thieves achievement named tactical gender rewards you for doing which is throw a bucket of vomit in the face of a fellow pirate the factor in this scenario that makes you a jerk is that you don't get the 20 game score for simply throwing up on someone else oh no yes think up please you can't down a bath full of grog and explosively projectile vomit on one of your seafaring colleagues for a pirate that's just another tuesday night no you have to specifically make yourself sick to the point of chundering whether with grog or wow eating your own live fish bait what do you like and then capture the bilious effluents in your bucket then you have to hold on to the improvised tick bucket the smell of which can't be improving over time until the occasion arises where you can bullseye some poor scurvy sea dog with your finely aged vomit [Music] sure you've blinded your ostensible opponent and 120 g but when word gets out you're the jerk ass pirate who saves his own sick to pour on other people you won't be able to show your face in pirate society and they're pirates for shame so you are the little devils that killed my soldiers the call of duty games like to pretend that their stories are a complex geopolitical web of intrigue where there is no right and wrong only moral shades of grey what the hell are we doing here i'm looking up a mess with women and children they were hostages you take the gloves off you get blood on your hands kyle in reality there are goodies and baddies you're the goodies and guys like rogue russian general barkov here from the 2019 modern warfare reboot are the baddies it's harder than hell in this [ __ ] country you must be so thirsty winsome none left i cannot believe i fell for that if you're fighting an honorable cause it's important to maintain your dignity in conflict and resist the temptation to lower yourself to the level of your hated enemies but when it comes to the achievement got something on your face that temptation is more tempting than a double chocolate fudge sundae which coincidentally is probably the next thing that jerk barkov was going to pretend to offer you you think this is a game during a deeply unpleasant waterboarding torture scene you can earn this particular achievement by ignoring the four dialogue options presented to you and instead pressing the melee attack button usually clicking in the right analog stick to shower barkov's smug face with an impressive spray of spit playing it rough huh father exactly what i had in mind i've been patient with you just once is enough to make the achievement pop but if you're feeling particularly petty you can actually gobble him every time he asks you a question so you do like the player which is we'll admit pretty satisfyingly jerkish well right up until the point he says he likes it it's okay i like it all right barkov you made it weird naturally being a proud honorable call of duty hero who really only lowered themselves to their hated enemies level likes three or four times you escape the prison complex and run barkov down for the final confrontation that's where you stab him in the shoulder and have one last opportunity to hop a load of spitter tip this time directly into his knife wound more like call of loogie [Music] it takes a lot for an act of jerk style behavior to stand out in untitled goose game a game in which the very premise is you are a grade a feathery jerk hell bent on aggravating humans for reasons known only to the goose itself what's it thinking why is it like this what made you this way goose we'll simply never know the horrible goose's motivations may remain forever a mystery but its intentions are clear make life awkward for the residents of this peaceful village by nicking their stuff breaking their stuff [Music] and putting itself on their tvs untitled goose show coming to netflix this fall cancelled after one season therefore we have to give it up for the outstanding jerk achievement known as dreadful which nets you 15 gamer score for trapping a small frightened boy in a garage [Music] this is the same small innocent boy who you've already been terrorizing for the purpose of proceeding in the game in fact chasing this infant into the village telephone booth is on your actual to-do list so it's not like you had a choice in that case how did this goose get a to-do list did the goose write it itself how is its penmanship so fine we'll simply never know anyway there's something especially nasty about chasing this child into a nearby garage with your muscular wings and powerful honking have you seen the teeth on a goose absolutely terrifying and then trapping him in the garage which unlike the phone booth is locked and probably dark inside he's probably all cold and scared in there i hope you're proud of yourself goose i don't know sounds kind of proud of itself one of those guys who helped doctors in there think so could be vulture could be scorpion could be someone bigger okay we got a problem if you're going to rely on superheroes to deal with your city's crime problems you're going to have to accept a level of collateral damage that goes along with it explosions wrecked cars the odd collapsed suspension bridge be honest you wouldn't have noticed it if i hadn't mentioned it the key thing though is that you have to presume that superheroes aren't intentionally causing all this damage in the quest for justice because that is behavior that is neither super nor heroic clue's in the name folks that's why it's pretty bad form to pick up the trophy like a rhino in a china shop when you're playing as new spidey miles morales in the ps5 game spider-man miles morales the opportunity to snag said trophy arises during a mission where you butt heads with the super villain rhino tiny spiders not literally butt heads that would be an exceptionally poor strategy what with his whole horn deal pretty quickly you'll find yourself bouncing around on rhino's back like a first-time rodeo rider as he smashes through a shopping mall at this point you're able to exert a little bit of control steering rhino away from stores and vulnerable citizens hang on tight tiny spiders alternatively if you're feeling like a bit of a jerk you could intentionally steer rhino into destructible objects and shops and if it ever makes it to court you can claim you were never in control and it was rhino's own doing in what lawyers like to call the stop hitting yourself defense take that the sokovia records crash rhino into 15 destructible objects and you'll hoover up the trophy all the while knowing that you secretly ruined all those small businesses and during the holiday season too the most important financial quarter for the retail sector how could you still at least when you burst out of the mall with your ill-gotten trophy you can finally wrap this whole thing up with the minimum of additional destruction pete are you okay no no no no so as i was saying you do have to accept a certain amount of collateral damage yeah ireland a patchwork of petty kings jostling for hills and pastures and green green glenns my adopted isle even if you spent the entirety of your history lessons in school drawing crude things in the back of a textbook you'll know that st patrick is both the patron saint of the country of ireland and the patron saint of drinking until you fall over on march 17th every year staggering already hey i'm half irish so i am 50 allowed to say that assassin's creed valhalla's huge dlc called wrath of the druids transported viking hero avor to the emerald isle and addressed another part of the legend of saint patrick but let me breathe your iris here the extremely key night amongst you will have noticed there is not a single snake in this scene or indeed as you traverse the beautiful irish landscape entirely unbothered by serpents wait was that a snake no i think it was just a stick the mythical reason for the complete absence of slithery long boys is that according to tradition back in about 432 a.d st patrick drove all the snakes in ireland into the sea meaning that when avor arrives there about 400 years later there's no danger of getting nipped by nafidian except according to the game one single brave snake exists holed up in an ancient church that means either st patrick missed enough snakes that they were able to breed and survive in ireland for centuries or we're dealing with a 400 year old snake here hey this is assassin's creed stranger things have happened stranger things involving snakes in fact [Applause] if you want the achievement the legend of st patrick you'll need to finish what saint pat started and make sure snakes in ireland are well and truly extinct by cruelly hunting down this lone survivor disturbing its peaceful snaky existence and turning this last remaining snaking island into a scrap of leather to be fair that's gonna make a great belt we'd feel worse about it we're not for the fact that archaeologists have spoiled our fun by pointing out that fossils suggest there were never any snakes in ireland in the first place next you'll be telling me that saint patrick never got blackout drunk too strong for you honestly i don't know what to believe there you have it those were seven jerk achievements that rewarded us for being total jerks and we love it and we love you thanks for being here thanks for watching this video if you'd like to watch more videos that are somewhat similar in format and style to this one there is a whole playlist of literally hundreds of them and you can watch them all at the playlist linked on screen also why not subscribe to outside xbox it would help us out like this video that's also a big help and hit the bell notification button for a notification every time we publish a video like this which by the way is every single thursday see you then

Channel: outsidexbox

Views: 404,851

Rating: 4.9325104 out of 5

Keywords: outsidexbox, andy farrant, jane douglas, mike channell

Id: uLnSLa98sp4

Length: 17min 40sec (1060 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 08 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/NotACyclopsHonest]

I’m really pleased they’ve apparently decided to make the Jerk Olympics a thing, since the first “evil achievements” video happened in 2013 and the second in 2017.