7 Evil Achievements for Heartless Bastards: Back for More Evil

i think we can all agree that the root of all evil is the love of gamer score says so right there in the bible but don't check achievements trophies whatever your preferred flavor of in-game accolade these are the things that lure us off the straight and narrow path of goodness and over to the wrong side of the tracks where we'll do literally any terrible thing for a hit of sweet ill-gotten gamer points you might already know that on this channel it is our tradition to recognise a fresh crop of these evil achievements every four years like the olympics of being evil in video games now the time has come once again to take a long hard look at these reprehensible chivos so you can avoid them obviously seeing as how they're already illegal there aren't many rules for gunfights one bring your own gun two no i guess that's it but while there isn't actually a rule against it you'd think that all parties involved in a gunfight would agree that it's bad form to slow down time and then blast your opponent directly in the crotch where all their precious trouser secrets are contained i mean that's just bad manners that's the last of them and yet spacey 2019 rpg the outer worlds encourages players to do just that by including the poor sportsmanship achievement which as we can see from its description asks you to hit 30 enemies in the groin during tactical time dilation tactical time dilation for the uninitiated is the outer world's answer to fallout's vats targeting system and lets you slow down time so that you can line up your shots at your leisure targeting your enemies most vulnerable points like their heads or yes i guess they're crotches sure the fact that you have to do it 30 times though takes this from regularly unpleasant to downright evil i mean have you seen what these sci-fi guns will do to a groin it ain't pretty that's for sure the point is it's going to take you a while blasting the crotches of everyone you meet and learning new things along the way like for example this doesn't count because did you know that robots don't have groins every day is a school day anyway keep on down this very cursed path and 30 ruined groins later you'll be the proud owner of the poor sportsmanship achievement and be 15 gamer score better off just don't expect anyone to want to hang out with you unless they're a robot i guess battery levels are fully charged you can't be serious insulting our king what inside i say only the truth sigismund has done only what he had to justice can be swift and brutal in the painfully realistic medieval peasant simulator kingdom come deliverance this is a game where early on you're supposed to barely escape a siege on your village with your life but where if you're enough of a jerk you can find yourself arrested during the prologue thrown in prison and then end the game burnt to death in your jail cell [Music] does that count as an any percent speed run no is the vibe i'm getting in the room there is an achievement in the game called judas however that allows you to help the process of justice along a bit though as you can probably guess from the name of the chievo you can't earn this achievement while also being a loyal and faithful friend that's because it requires you to betray your mates andrew matthew and fritz the latter two of whom you first encounter in an early mission where they come up with a plan to prank a fellow villager by throwing manure all over his house what are you waiting for soldier fire the trebuchet for king and country lads i'm not sure how effective a prank it is if you also end up covered in manure clearly matthew and fritz aren't the sharpest hull birds in the medieval armory which is why when they come up with a second ill-conceived plan to rob some heavily guarded loot from a quarry you can very sensibly have nothing to do with it and you think it's all right is that what we are now common thieves but this video isn't called seven sensible achievements for boring sensible people and while you can participate in the robbery and maybe even get away with the loot you can also interfere in the plan by betraying your pals planting evidence and then cold-bloodedly shopping your lifelong friends into the authorities i overheard something in the ale house the money is sure to be locked up somewhere there if what you say is true there'll be hell to pay that's for peer pressuring me into picking up what makes this especially evil is you've also stitched up the entirely innocent andrew who wanted nothing to do with the plan as part of a three for two deal on heartless betrayals as we've already established in 15th century bohemia the legal system is swift and does not eff about so rather than a short prison sentence and an early release for good behavior andrew matthew and fritz are sentenced to swing by the neck until dead something you'll confirm for yourself when you return to the village to inspect their barely recognizable bodies and collect your 15g judas achievements so many plots and intrigues and nothing remains but dead bodies brings whole new meaning to hanging with your mates you're going to skewer me ah that little sword's good for a tickle maybe but you're gonna need more than that to take me down we've all had our share of bad bosses in the past why i myself used to have a boss who made me sit in a chair all day and do list videos but of course now i can leave whenever i want so luckily i don't want to leave now so it's fine and things could always be worse for example i could be an orc in the employ of someone playing 2017 tolkien's shadow of war who is trying to get the bad boss achievement a big part of shadow of war involves you as the range italian building your own army of orcs by recruiting followers to your cause followers with names like strom thor the unclean or grag attacks pain lover because orcs are metals same thing really it results me ripping spines out which i like to do anyway so either way's a win a fine addition to our army now conventional wisdom would say that you should treat your followers with kindness and respect partly because you need them on your side so you can save middle earth and partly because they're orcs and as such need only the lightest provocation to start trying to twist your head off your body i will see your lovely face twist with such exquisite pain enough with the talking already it's time to make him scream if you want your 10 gamer score and the bad boss achievement etched onto your permanent record however you need to go full evil boss picking out a follower of your choosing and then just absolutely wailing on them a little rough and tumble is fine it seems to be expected in the brutal world of hobbits and tom bombadil but keep up the assault and even the toughest orc will eventually have enough and start to fight back or as the game puts it i'm not sure if it's betrayal if i've been hitting them with a sword for the last five minutes game anyway once they fight back the achievement is yours as well as the lingering sense that you shouldn't be put in charge of people in the future maybe i should do something nice for the rest of them i know i'll put an espresso machine in the break room they'll like that you all right through here stay down and follow me if time travel movies have taught me anything the only thing worse than meddling with past events is meddling with past events by very nearly accidentally seducing your own mother back to the future is a weird family movie now that i think about it as far as we know there isn't a level in 2009 xbox 360 and pc shooter darkest of days where you have to awkwardly avoid the advances of dear old mum but there is an awful lot of the aforementioned timeline meddling going on you will be sent to different places in their times of great strife and change charged with saving those people facing an untimely end that's why you've been plucked from near certain death at the battle of little bighorn to travel through time acting as a sort of officer of the time law to prevent people from mucking about with the continuum if it's all stopping people from making out with their mums i'm requesting a transfer it's your job to stop these evil doers by traveling throughout history doing things that definitely don't count as meddling with the timeline when you're doing them such as using a smart machine gun to mow down confederate soldiers so more of a do as i say not as i do situation got it over the course of your duties you will have to do the odd thing that seems pretty sadistic such as deploying a microwave gun to obliterate romans with spears and shields in pompeii on the day of the fateful volcanic eruption just a thought why not go to pompeii the day before the fateful volcanic eruption one thing that definitely isn't part of your duties is unlocking the achievement horse puncher which is both fairly self-explanatory and can be unlocked within the first few minutes of the game to unlock the achievement in the midst of the malay of the battle of little bighorn you have to punch an innocent already terrified horse who has no capacity to understand the conflicts of man directly in the face and kill it i assume this is also the plot of war horse i haven't seen it what it's 2 hours and 26 minutes long and the rock isn't in it this horse punching is bad but not necessarily evil you might argue until you discover that on xbox the game cruelly rewards you a massive 100g for this bit of senseless equine assault which is essentially encouraging every player to begin their game by murdering a gentle intelligent beast besides think of the timeline meddling what if that horse was the great grandfather of rainbow dash rainbow dash isn't real she's real to me you will need to discover a local resource that you can refine into an appropriate fuel unless of course you decide to spend the rest of your life off earth but i don't want to take up too much of your time and i'm sure you're very excited to explore so i wish you good luck we will send updates on your progress as you complete your scheduled surveys stay alive and see you soon little did we realize setting out to play journey to the savage planet that the true savagery on this planet would be our own yeah before our arrival on this technicolor planet this place wasn't quite a paradise but certainly once we started stomping around in our astronaut boots the mortality rate per capita went through the roof and not just on account of how we kept dying and coming back as a clone hey buddy so you died although that will have contributed significantly no if we brought anything with us to this remote planet apart from a spaceship and a careless disregard for our own safety it's a cheerful willingness to murder the local flora and fauna in the name of cutting-edge space exploration it's what elon musk would do and you know it take the puffer bird the adorable and abundant species of bird-like creature which with its spherical shape big dopey eyes and all but vestigial whittle wings represents as much of a threat as a friendly balloon like a normal puffer bird but wrinkly then take the meat vortex which is a kind of living blender [Music] yes you did need to feed meat into the meat vortex to get past it and the puffer bird was the obvious solution even if you did have to watch this helpless critter being turned into a green smoothie by an alien nutribullet i won't lie i feel kind of bad they're so cute and so full of juice but did you have to enjoy it as much as you did and did you have to enjoy doing it again quite so many times the answer to which is of course yes you did because the scientific method is about repeatability and reproducibility and we're here on this savage planet to do science damn it feed five puffer birds into the waiting moor of a meat vortex and the achievement named little shop of horrors is yours [Music] even if your conscience is somehow clean your spacesuit won't be at two point hospital over 52 percent of our patients believe they leave healthier than when they arrived our precisely calibrated equipment is operated by compassionate health care practitioners many of whom have even been to medical school if like me you take professional health care seriously then on booting up your copy of two point hospital you too will have sworn to conduct yourself according to the hippocratic oath of medical ethics the key part of this ancient oath sworn by physicians for centuries is the solemn promise to do no harm to your patients [Music] and so freshly sworn to uphold that code you embarked upon building and running your first hospital full of hope and idealism and a vocation to heal your many patients of their comedy [Music] not be ailments now of course we are none of us perfect and so in the course of running a busy successful hospital there will be patients who are inadvertently harmed by too few benches messy corridors and blocked toilets but these are management failures rather than an intentional breach of your medical ethics the dr mike center for doctoring excellence however does apologize for the state of those toilets try to go at home if one day you were feeling unethical though and like maybe there wasn't quite enough sickness and injury in your institution already you could go out of your way to actively maim someone who came to your hospital in the hopes of getting better there's a fire there shouldn't be a fire [Music] you do this by ensuring that one of your poorly maintained overworked hospital machines explodes itself and an unlucky person nearby deliberately injuring them and creating another malady requiring that's right billable medical care hence the 10g achievements you got for this called generating business which acknowledges how you'd think so lowers to proactively harm people to make more money modifying your hippocratic oath from do no harm to do some harm when you feel like it maintenance [Music] what would hippocrates say something in ionic greek probably and it wouldn't be kind [Music] your actions have changed the world hitman's professional killer par excellence agent 47 is known for his lethal skills immaculate suits and love of puns so what's good everything's to die for mr knox if only anyone else ever lived to appreciate them knocks down what 47 is not known for however is being a goody two-shoes non-murderer who doesn't assassinate people for money and we assume sheer job satisfaction nolan cassidy is down good work 47. therefore you really have to be going some in hitman to score an achievement that makes you say huh 47 that thing you just did was actually especially morally shady and dare i say unkind of you which brings us to hitman 2's himmelstein sniper assassin level in austria to which 47 has travelled to kill a target at a big wedding good afternoon 47 the wedding ceremony is about to begin with lang and his daughter arriving shortly by car this is fine and good as far as hitman goes but on this occasion 47 has set himself a much crueler unnecessary and surely unpaid secondary objective which is to absolutely ruin this beautiful event for everyone involved instead of quietly offing the contracted target and making tracks for this achievement you have to shoot the bride's bouquet the lighting for the photo op the photographer will have a hard time taking his pictures now the instruments of the wedding band the wedding cake shooting cakes now 47. the priest's wine glass nice shot i'm guessing there's a plan in motion here and of course the dove cage which symbolizes the purity love and devotion that has presumably ticked 1847 off so badly this is what happens when you only invite agent 47 to the evening do if that or weren't mean enough given the exorbitant cost of wedding cake and wedding bouquets they're just flowers bear in mind that if you also want to complete this sniper assassin mission you need to murder the father of the bride before he can walk his daughter down the aisle on this special day dorian lange is confirmed killed i guess they did bring this on themselves how do you not invite 47 he loves a wedding thank you so much for watching this video about evil achievements i hope you're not going to rush out and go and get those achievements that would be terrible and in fact if you want to do something even nicer and even better if you want to really tick your karma up into the positive why not watch some more of our videos uh we've got one up here from us and one down here from our sister channel outside extra down vote no that's funny that's bad that's bad don't encourage them download the outside video no click dislike

Channel: outsidexbox

Views: 1,494,416

Keywords: outsidexbox, andy farrant, jane douglas, mike channell, achievements, gamerscore, bad, mean, cruel, nasty, evil, bastards, bastard, unlock, achievement, xbox, xbox live, trophy, trophies, bronze, silver, gold, platinum, PSN, playstation network, online, score, hidden, secret, list, top 10, top 5, top 7, 7 things, countdown, funny, lol, wtf, funny moments, outer worlds, poor sportsmanship, shadow of war, bad boss, kingdom come deliverance, judas, darkest of days, horse puncher, journey to the savage planet

Id: SfYtRRHDL44

Length: 17min 56sec (1076 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 09 2021