5 Ways 'Little Mermaid' Is The Most Terrifying Disney Movie - Obsessive Pop Culture Disorder

[Music] my name is Daniel O'Brien and welcome to another episode of obsessive pop culture sort of the show I will keep doing until I die which will be never so suck it everyone today's episode explores am I still talking about a children's movie from 1989 at some point you're gonna have to see other movies future Daniel never past Daniel you Weiner The Little Mermaid is a timeless movie about a confusingly normal-sized mermaid who falls in love with a human man and through a series of magic shenanigans and parental negligence manages to leave the underwater Kingdom she once called home to marry a handsome prince who also runs a kingdom it's your classic riches two different riches story and a movie I loved growing up and yet I will feel nothing as I ruin it right now for you the people let's start right at the top King Triton presides over the kingdom of Atlantica as well as the whole seat he has a magic trident and way too many daughters and speaking of which hey trident do you start every morning with a concert where you forced your daughters to sing a song about how great it is being one of King Triton's daughters or is that just like an annual thing it's whatever the answer you have too many of those concerts what a shortcut to getting your people to hate you start every morning forcing them to sit through one of your children's middle school concerts our worst kings wouldn't do that and our worst kings murdered their own lives Arielle actively hates you you make no attempt to understand her you destroyed all our stuff and you still have the gall to be like by the way the mandatory we totally love being King Triton's kids opera has been rescheduled to next week don't forget this time it's important that all the fish know how great I am that doesn't make him a bad ruler per se just like me guy he's also wildly unstable which does make him a bad ruler see the Afra mentioned destruction of everything ariel holds dear and has never explained hatred for Ursula but if you want more proof of his general instability look no further than the distance between your face and the computer screen at me because I'm going to tell you about the Little Mermaid prequel in arrows beginning we learned the Train had a beautiful music loving wife who died when a boat smashed her and became so distraught that he banned music in his kingdom for ten years he would jail anyone who was caught playing music and when he found a deep sea music club had it destroyed he even tried to hold his daughters prisoner when he heard them singing silly eventually completely changed his mind I guess because Ariel does something sweet which is sort of his MO so you've got a man who has ultimate power over all oceans and he makes insane and oppressive rules over his subjects but will change his mind on a whim and he's in charge an all-powerful sea god with no friends is running everything down below well totally know how oceanic monarchies worked but if they borrowed anything from us Atlantica is in trouble because triton fathered no sons just to blow - singing daughters the Triton name will die with him with no clear air to his sea throne it wouldn't be out of line to assume that he's just gonna stick around getting crazier and more depressed and lonelier ends fear like that old king in that one pie bold song great who reference Daniel my point is that everything about Triton is insane and he's the most powerful being in the ocean it's also worth noting that the two times King Triton changed his mind about one of his crazy rules only happened because Ariel convinced him that he was being unreasonable she's the one who could make him see clearly and he let her golf to the mainland and I was gonna talk sense to him flounder finished single King and it was this is this and that is that actually that wouldn't be so bad he always urged caution as general coward is make him fairly pragmatic and logical he also managed to get the statue of Erik into a girl's Cova bulls but that's pretty clever shows ingenuity I don't know how you got that statue and then there's no clear entrance plus it's heavy impressive work flounder could do worse than a flounder as a console Gary it's all I'm saying what I still have more to say about King Triton fine right Ariel's the heroine in the movie she saves Erik talk sense to Triton and looking back was probably my first crush hey girl the point is we're all supposed to love her but hey she's six goddamn teen computer when was the last time a 16 year old made a good decision what's that know still just never then okay yeah good never happened I agree our children are toilet people we're meant to assume that Eric and Ariel's bond is based on true love but at the end of the day she's a 16 year old who falls in love with literally the first human she sees up close and he at first falls in love with her because of her beautiful voice but then when he meets the version of her that can't talk he's like oh this is even better I love this one now and that wasn't a red flag to her because she's 16 their entire courtship takes place when she isn't a mermaid and can't sing which are ordinarily two defining things for the Little Mermaid and when she did reveal herself as a mermaid and got her voice back their deal at the end didn't involve dates crazy Triton gave her legs and the two of them got married at sixteen to one of the first anything she has feelings for she hadn't dated other Merman or even other land men this is the marriage of actual land royalty and actual sea royalty this is a big deal it will impact everyone in the world and happened with zero vetting whatsoever there are two things we know for sure in the little mermaid universe fish are sentient beings with emotions and personalities and friendships and dreams and Eric is the seafaring Prince of a coastal Kingdom flounder was Ariel's best friend and I'm gonna assume that Prince Eric caught and ate his fair share flounder unless this is one of those coastal kingdoms that doesn't consume fish which computer yeah those don't exist the people who lived in that village or town or Kingdom or principality most likely make their living fishing and trading we already know that Prince Eric employed a chef who took personal almost sexual joy in killing and cooking sea creatures we're gonna serve at your wedding Eric fish be weird if you didn't or maybe out of love Eric will outlaw fishing as a trade but then hey guess what guy if you do that you just put a whole lot of your subject that'll work his options are ruin the fishing trade that guarantee provides the livelihood of a number of his people or get his new child bride on board with the fact that she might eat a bunch of her friends at some point these are issues that would have come up during the dating process that never happened because Ariel and Eric decided to get married after three days during which no conversations actually took place that's just true of how dating works I'm seeing now and early on like second date I was like but before we take this further you're not killing and eating any of my friends right and she was like I can't know that but probably not she's pretty cool oh boy we are running out of time here button holy Sh these are some dummies when Ariel is singing about wanting to be a part of Eric's world she stumbles and forgets the word four feet what do you call Oh crabs have feet scuttle has feet how much could you possibly have studied the culture you claim to be ready to join if feet and Street are blind spots and Eric he takes her on a romantic boat ride and tries to guess her name sidebar area you could have just written it down we already know that you know how to do that with your eyes literally closed and when Eric struggles coming up with her name a crab whispers it to him and he just assumes he came up with it he doesn't question the fact that that was the right answer he assumes it was his original thought is his inner monologue always in a thick Jamaican accent or did I also before that you thought her name was Mildred okay no yeah absolute Claud these are bad dates by the way every date they go on is just garbage in already [ __ ] okay [Music] this whole joint never could have happened because smaller sound waves like that fellow playing flute scatter in the ocean while lower pitches and larger sound waves like those perform at the Duke of soul move differently meaning it would be impossible for these disparate instants to come together in a meaningful way for a song it was just sounding a nightmare of cacophony moving on Duke of Souls a fiction super racist forward mermaids and mermen lived with fish and crabs and eels and monsters but they're all still afraid of sharks what does that deal this Triton rule Atlantica and the sea or doesn't he if goddamn seahorses can talk and those little doodads that Ursula makes have faces why are sharks still just vicious angry sharks it's like all animals have personalities and can communicate except sharks and max the dog go Arielle the thingamabobs of which you have 20 are corkscrews 20 and that's 20 is not an impressive amount of corkscrews they're not collectors items someone try to show if they're corkscrews I'd be like oh I've got the one and it just turns out that's the right amount onward flounder describes a sunken pirate ship as damned it looks you're in the ocean are you talking about proceeds Sebastian starts to offer Ariel a warm glass of something there at the bottom of the ocean if they figured out how to heat drinks the wine is Ariel wonder you either understand the concept of relative temperatures or you don't pick a side but how does a bastion have a specific regional accent it's a goddamn ocean of white people and he's like I'm annoyed from ya see how advanced Grimsby is weirdly excited when he thinks Ariel is gonna smoke out of his pipe it's nothing for old guys is that like ooh she's gonna go nuts for this hand-carved calabash can't wait to see that happen and then she ends up blowing a bunch of ash into his face what's cool with it why is it cute upwards what scuttles deal we haven't even gotten to him yet they make him an authority I don't work oh damn god I love this movie so much I'm gonna watch it one second I get home Alan Menken man all day that's all I have on this topic join us next time when our subject will be the birthplace of rap in the Delta blue is America something college essay I don't wanna write that god damn you passed Daniel you've got me again you are you were your history's worst monster did you know that anyway bye [Music] hey everybody thank you for watching that little mermaid thing if you want you can go in the comments and broadly speculate what scuttles deal is since we never got to it thanks subscribe if you haven't already and check out this book by Christopher Moore serpent that it's really good

Channel: Cracked

Views: 3,070,863

Rating: 4.7684984 out of 5

Keywords: The Little Mermaid (Award-Winning Work), Arial, The Little Mermaid (Book), Mermaid (Character Species), Walt Disney (Author), Disney, Ariel, Ariel (Film Character), Eric, King Trident, Flounder, Animation (TV Genre), Disney animation, Ariel and Eric, Cracked, cracked.com, sketch, comedy, funny, spoof, humor, parody, Disney animated movies

Id: wx-xBh3Qg7E

Length: 10min 1sec (601 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 22 2015

Reddit Comments

[u/pierzstyx]

The ending of The Little Mermaid is essentially the same ending as The Call of Cthulu. A gigantic soul stealing magical octopus monster rises from the watery depths of a sunken city to destroy surface dwelling interlopers who then ram it with their ship in order to defeat it. Little Mermaid just got 50% more Lovecraftian and 100% more metal.

[u/cassieree]

omg i love it