5 Movie Relationships That Are Secretly Terrifying - Obsessive Pop Culture Disorder

Oh Internet I am Daniel O'Brien and welcome to another episode of obsessive pop-culture disorder a show that disassembles the familiar contract of movies and TV shows you grew up loving and also that one where I talked about guess who if my opponent said is your character anything other than white I was out of the game boy that never guess who and remember the episode I did about guess who anyway today's thing is about the movies have always had their share of overly questionable relationships between characters like Harold Maude Ritchie and Margo from the Royal Tenenbaums or that time Indiana Jones and his father both had sex with the same Nazi lady in like the same way she fell into a bottomless pit and died but then there's the far more subtly screwed-up relationships that I'm about to plonk into your face like you're a goddamn wishing well I hope this first ones about a Disney character is real so Pocahontas Cinderella Snow White sleepytime Beauty machine for decades Disney has been reinforcing the same message the person who has no friends but hangs out with animals all the time is just misunderstood and probably better than you there are varying degrees of human animal relationships in the Disney universe from Cinderella carrying out complete conversations with mice to Pocahontas regularly chilling with raccoons problem isn't that these people are being nice to animals that's a fine message the problem is that Disney wants you to think the people who surround themselves exclusively with animals and wildly spoil them aren't insane Aladdin has spent years living on the streets sleeping in an abandoned rooftop chucking a monkey into a bed who was dressed exactly like him you know what that means it means Aladdin who was living on the street and starving had to squirrel away some money to Commission a matching the outfit for his monkey he didn't steal it from the monkey vest check cuz that's not a thing what I just said he had to hire someone to make this the tiny monkey outfit is by far the most lavish thing Aladdin owns he had to go to a guy and hand him money and say no I don't want to use this money for food or likes leaves for me I need some pants and a half my goddamn monkey can't even follow simple orders don't touch anything I own a dog and he has three hoodies and that's probably the worst thing about me like my life is not together before I took care of student loan debt or visited a doctor for the first time in like 11 years I made sure my dog had three hoodies I live in Los Angles it's always warm in any way he hates them same with Cinderella who sits in a tiny room and vets about her day to mice she dressed up a little outfits like some kind of death row inmate she spends every morning getting bathed by Birds would you let Birds go near your where you keep your female genitalia because she does she let some right up there Disney characters are heaping bundles of Berkowitz bananas Disney says hey you see that girl reading a sheep or that poor guy who's off yes the monkey looks like me so you know we're friends they're great they're diamonds in the rough you should spend all your time with them I believe that Bell is able to maintain emotional relationships with brooms and clocks and pots because their only other points of contact were sheep and her crazy dad my counter-argument is that that is a bad lesson that if the whole town thinks a woman is strange and then as a unanimous belief shared by everyone except some goats that may be opted to listen to the people instead of goats Shack in 2009 Avatar movie opens with a gravelly Jay Sally taking the place of his dead twin brother in the Avatar program which magically transfers the consciousness of a human controller into the blank bodies of a clone the VA lien species quote and they groan from human DNA mixed with the DNA of the natives everyone on board so far Jake is beaming his gravelly brain thoughts into a creepy human and alien hybrid that he uses to explore the planet earn the good will of the native people and then completely betray the cold-hearted corporate army guys harvesting the planet's resources and by extension his own species all the name of getting that sweet hair tail action the Navi have sex with their hair tails it's also how they drive horses the movie was not well thought out but Zoe's all down I'm in love with you in every single color and throughout the courtship of Jake and materi the biggest apparent hurdle is him earning the respect of the Navi culture by writing a six-legged horse and a four winged dragon and a bigger four winged dragon that's all it took to pump wildly under the tree of souls while all the glow in the dark seed sprites watch or join in or whatever which is strange considering that Jake is also biologically a bankrupt materi species and they grown from human DNA mixed with the DNA of the native here's the weird part let me know that Jake is an alien from a distant world beaming his thoughts into a hastily constructed decoy body it's not oh you tricked them into thinking he was one of their distant cousins who'd been studying abroad or something they knew he was a human inside a thing that looks like them it's the three children stacked on top of each other in a trench coat model of social infiltration his body is one that you just couldn't shut down and sit around stored somewhere when his brain isn't in it it's a body that for all they know if physically unable to eat or poop or produce a half human offspring that won't flop around in violent conflict with the planet's atmosphere the movie ends with a happily ever after where Jake Sully stays in Avatar forever and just like is one somehow that no weird would no one ever ask hey what's your body made of is it because they know the answer is Oh some blood carbon and the corpse of someone you used to know probably but that's why she is Ron Weasley he has a pet rat named Scabbers because I'm a complicated web of Wizard related shenanigans and murder Scabbers is actually a grown man named Peter Pettigrew who was disguised as a rat he lived this disguise as a rat who belonged to an idiot for 12 freaking years twelve years of sleeping next to a little boy who eventually goes through puberty all around you and he's said to sit there and be like I'm a rat hey everything's normal to me when Peter fully reveals himself it's insane that he just picks up where he left off as an evil guy it's insane that he didn't immediately say I want to get back into being evil again real soon but first of all Ron you you're weird and you never shut up and like obviously I've seen you masturbate so I know what face you make and it's bad and wrong and I hate it being a rat I hated being a rat and Ron would be like oh no rat you were piece of [ __ ] old man this whole time why did you let me put you in my pocket what else in my life is secretly an old man being a wizard is so stressful remember Peter Pettigrew isn't pretending to be a rat for some weird sexual thrill if anything he turns up into Scabbers because he was a panicked coward that needed to hide in a flash and keep tabs on the wizard world then he spent the next 12 years present for every intimate moment of Ron's transformation from us smudge faced a child to a post-pubescent werewolf hunting wizard and yes that would inevitably mean he was around for someone speakable late-night moments I'm sure Ron didn't want to share with a 35 year old man pretending to be a rat from then on Ron would never trust another animal again at the end of the series when he's married to Hermione and has kids of his own you know they're never gonna have a family pet every his kids bring it up Ron just gets distant and weird try to kid taught us that if you want to overcome a bully your best bet is spending afternoons doing yard work in tight shorts for an aged man you met in a maintenance room right away there's an entire filing cabinets worth of reasons why Daniel and mr. Miyagi Daniel and mr. Miyagi would look like Liberace serve at love tryst to the untrained eye obviously that's not the case the reality being that Dan needed guidance in a time where father figure was absent and his mother was too busy keeping them afloat financially it's just that when you watch these films back-to-back you start to notice a few things firstly that they chronologically take place immediately after each other [Music] uhh smog smells like home I'm mr. Miyagi in Karate Kid 3 macho macho declares that it's been a year since the first tournament in the original film let's face it it's another year two year later I'm a lot more experienced right after that he spent a portion of his college money to travel with Miyagi to his native country to defend his honor it's all taken care of saves a kid from a hurricane and then flew back at the beginning of Karate Kid 3 he spent a year almost exclusively under the supervision of this strange man his only other companionship being the fleeting relationships he has with girls along the way none of which end well folks Kimiko from Karate Kid 2 get scaled by a dude dressed like scorpion and still doesn't end up with Daniel for her troubles in credit kid 3 while she moves to Tokyo Daniel flies back home and gives up even more of his college tuition in order to buy a bonsai shop for his weird old buddy you can interpret that as really pure and sweet if you want because Miyagi did help Danny out a whole lot after all but this is his college tuition which means he's a high school senior which means he doesn't know anything and shouldn't be put in charge of financial decisions of this magnitude savings for college education so I'll get a job when we get back and I'll go six months late it really doesn't make a difference when I go think of it this way if you had a child who had money save for college that you busted your ass to get and they said I'm gonna skip college for a while and use all this money to buy a shop for my boyfriend or girlfriend to encourage their hobby you throw out flags immediately you'd say you're in the child and statistically this relationship will not last and you should go to college and get an education and broaden your horizons there are plenty of other boys and girls in college yeah you're more important in college go to college Daniel son I'm sure there'll be plenty of old Japanese men there to hang out with I'm guessing they recast Daniel as Hilary Swank in the fourth one after some producer realized there was no non-creepy way to regress that story and somehow this is still not the weirdest man-boy relationship to come out of the eighties we've talked a lot about Back to the Future in the past since these films basically exist like a purgatorial Russian nesting doll that gets more and more grotesque every shell you feverishly remove and now here's another layer gun [Music] [Music] let's take a moment to get inside Doc Brown's head during this scene and the decision to test the DeLorean for the first time by driving it at 88 miles per hour directly at Hammond Marty first question does this provide a better vantage point for Marty's video camera no it does not do that thing and actually hinders the clarity of the test compared to shooting it from a safe distance second question does driving the time machine directly toward them and sued Doc Brown's instantaneous death if the experiment fails yep that's the thing this does this means the doc was betting his and Marty's life that this experiment would work only every time we see doc in these films he's continually established as a failed scientist it's less the doc was betting his life on the DeLorean and more that he was one more failure away from suicide and by God was he gonna take this vibrant young man with him if I'm right you're gonna see some serious [ __ ] in the wrong we'll both be dead didn't no one will know why I know it's the 80s when everyone was less health conscious but I'm pretty sure that still attempted murder especially considering a doc had never tested the time machine before so we've never worked there's a million timing and distance variables doc is failing to consider by conducting his tests like a bullfight statistically speaking the following days headlines should have read old man and teenage boy kills by dog driving car imagine a dog were funeral Jennifer crying her eyes out Marty's mom would be all like we told him not to hang out with that Yreka Raj dwelling man Huey Lewis doesn't show up because he didn't actually have any affection for Marty seriously what kind of relationship did Marty have with dr. before this movie we're meeting in a mall parking lot at 1:00 in the morning didn't seem weird the movie paints all the finger wagging teachers and parents as these killjoy villains telling Marty not to hang out with his best friend but his best friend is a 70 year old lunatic recluse who lives behind a Burger King and is actively trying to murder him for personal gain his only friend other than Marty is his dog which newsflash shiven your first clue this guy was unstable full circle all right I think we're all set with this one tune in next whenever when our episode will be another one about guess who but more could I possibly have to say you have ginormous we have glasses no way what the hell happened - guess who why is it all vertical and electronic just you flip them why is there pizzas in a frog now that's absurd you can't play guests here with pizzas and frog all your opponent would have to say is are you pizzas end or frog all right okay let's do this bye hey everybody thank you very much for watching this click down here to subscribe and click here to watch more videos if you want and if you like this video for every light that this video gets I will put nothing in this pig I won't do nothing about my life will change the 90 significant way

Channel: Cracked

Views: 1,588,920

Rating: 4.8705997 out of 5

Keywords: Obsessive Pop Culture Disorder, Cracked, Guess Who?, Cracked.com, Film (Media Genre), parody, spoof, Daniel O'Brien, Sketch, Funny, Comedy, Satire (TV Genre), Humor, Sketch Comedy (TV Genre), Disney, disney Princess, insanity, Aladdin, Cinderella (Film), Avatar, Zoe Saldana, Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, Karate Kid, Mr Miyagi, Daniel Larusso, Back to the future, Marty McFly (Film Character), Doc Brown

Id: 0fBXizweZyM

Length: 12min 7sec (727 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 21 2015