4 Simple Things Hollywood Thinks Are Difficult - Obsessive Pop Culture Disorder

no internet and welcome to another episode of obsessive pop culture's or the show where I obsessively point out all the dumb stuff pop culture somehow keeps dealing despite me specifically telling it not to and disorder anyway here's a sequel sometimes a thing will appear super hard to do in a movie but plot twist it's not hard at all it's actually super easy just the most boring average run-of-the-mill thing in real life why don't we do this why do they pretend easy things are secretly difficult because real world difficult is complicated and nuanced end up in a downer you know yeah that's probably it that makes sense life is hard movies are easy let's start there's the entire sub-genre of movies based on the idea that consuming any type of mind-altering substance turns you into a looney tunes character we've seen the outrageous consequences in movies like dude where's my car or it's remake with older people The Hangover or its remake with older people the hangover 2 and 3 and latest Seth Rogen does drugs foul-mouthed high jinks ensue extravaganza aka the night before Rogen gets so high that he ends up screaming about Jesus in a church not in the socially acceptable way I mean we knock down Jesus in transformers - curse of the rise whatever Shia LaBeouf's mom eats a few pot brownies and instantly goes from a sweet lady to a dangerous maniac assaulting people for no I should have made a transforms pun there goddamnit Daniels stupid stupid stupid stupid the list goes on and on the short version is that weed or alcohol renders its acres completely useless at best and wildly transformed got there at worst we've seen that trope thousands of times which suggests that contrary to popular belief and all laws of common sense there are thousands of Hollywood screenwriters who have never been on drugs now what comes next might sound like an endorsement of drugs or a downplaying of their effects I want my official stance on this clear I do not condone drugs and I personally don't think anyone watching this video should do drugs unless you want to I don't care being drunk and/or high makes you dumber and/or Giglio than normal and it definitely impairs your judgment and no one should drive or make important financial or life decisions while they're under the influence of any drugs but they don't immediately turn you into a different person and yeah I get why this happens in movies the character is high in a movie he or she has to be high in a way that is immediately obvious to the audience otherwise what's the point of you're edgy still nerd humor but in reality pretending you're not tripping balls while tripping each and every one of the balls it's so easy that a teenager could do it in fact they do it all the time usually during family dinners are their teens in your house fun fact they're probably getting faced right now without your knowledge you're a bad parent speaking of family dinners nothing to add to that just speaking of family dinners family dinners that's your contribution to our shared and okay you're in a mood moving on according to Hollywood the five most surefire ways to invite disaster into your life are one building your house where the house of some pissed-off ghosts used to be - kidnapping anyone sir named Neeson three filling an amusement park with giant killer dinosaurs for filling anything with giant killer anything's really and five having dinner with your family especially during the holidays movie trailer voiceover guys talk about year-end family get-togethers with the same gleefully ominous tone they used to describe getting murdered by Freddy Krueger they'll be forced to celebrate with all of them there's one place you can always go that's worse something is coming to get the loot and get out as quick as you can just putting a bunch of related people in the same dining room together guarantees something shocking will happen maybe a valuable heirloom is destroyed where a dark secret is revealed or someone mistakes your aunt's dildo for a flashlight what is this ah what I thought I made that up I thought I was doing a bit that happened Ron Howard anyway family dinners if there's turkey involved I believe it was Russian playwright Anton Pavlovich Chekhov who once said that if a turkey appears in the sitcom it is absolutely going to get job at some point in the episode as a direct quote look it up everything is always so dramatic which is like the exact opposite of how these things go in real life most extended family dinners I've been to have been like this no or that charming anecdote mmm food it's uh it's good it's good at knuckle yeah second cousin are you still doing that same job from last time that I definitely remember when he told me what it was great how's California warm you mostly just sit there either politely struggling to find common ground to talk about or just like talking to your family members that you like I wish something dramatic would happen because at least that would be interesting maybe I should bring an urn full of ashes to my next family gathering that always seems to produce high drama according to movies where people care about those things I'm no expert on micro humans fatties whatever you call them as with most things the majority of my knowledge about caring for tiny bald semi-people comes from movies and TV and movies in TV seem bent on convincing me that changing a diaper is one of the hardest and most inscrutable tests that I as a man could ever attempt to do where's Buffy keep the extra diapers you're doing that wrong Oh movie women are naturally better at dealing with that craft meaning poop but even their female instincts aren't enough to save them from the getting peed in the face trope which is a little weird but doesn't that feel better seriously if the diaper changer is a guy then the ungrateful little dwarf will usually aim for his shirt first McFly born in America and you peed on me but if it's a lady Wow by the way if I'm not on some sort of watchlist for entering the search terms that led me to those videos I'd be very disappointed in my government that's O'Brien with an E and big Daniel with a big but here's the thing literally hundreds of millions of people have to change diapers every day and night often in the dark and while sleep-deprived if these things were as difficult to operate as Hollywood assures me they are I'm pretty sure we would have invented a less sucky method by now statistically speaking the great majority of the civilized world must know how to change a diaper quickly and effectively and yet Chozen we we still treat someone who can do that as a freaking wizard and it's hard to navigate there's no sitemap it just wasn't built for people who grow up without computers dealing with someone else's poop can be daunting for the uninitiated but I'm assured by people who have actually changed a diaper that is not that hard to catch on and if pull up front clothes stickers is too complex for you they even have ones that are more like regular underwear now got a squirmy baby try the diaper that changes everything just catch slip on and release baby that's what they're called aids other babies that lost the words baby this was the single most common viewer suggestion in the previous version of this video plus a few people who said I should jump off a bridge bunch of people corrected me by saying that the kids and carried in by the pig blood and one commenter who said that I could not possibly be quote an authority on prom or anything social that happens during high school end quote congratulations on your innovative bullying YouTube commenter whose only record of like YouTube videos includes true story videos attacking women videos attacking black people videos attacking Muslims videos promoting 9/11 conspiracy theories Adam Sandler's Hanukkah song and like six video tutorials about how to care kiss scored properly auntie Fayed anyway running running to and from things has been a key element of our species continued survival since humans have been up thing man has been running for millions of years with occasional breaks to start civilizations and take naps that's why it's surprising that people in movies especially spooky one somehow evolved and survived this far despite never quite figuring this one out admittedly I've never been involved in a chase with some sort of supernatural evil or dude in black pajamas because I make it a point to never associate with those types of people but if I ever am I like to think i wouldn't suddenly forget how to use my legs the sphincter Buttle I can understand sure but the legs even the laziest able bodied person has years and years of experience putting one foot in front of the other in all manner of situations and yet people in these movies are so inept at running that they haven't even figured out how to do it in a direction that isn't straight ahead this silly ass seen from Prometheus might be the most important moment in the entire Alien franchise because it's very clear Noomi Rapace is reaction that she's the first person in the history of mankind to realize she can run to the left it's like the quest for fire but with basic motor function it wasn't for this one lady's revolutionary discovery Sigourney Weaver wouldn't have lasted more than five minutes in those other movies also say what you will about Charlize Theron character but at least she kept running so to be clear Sarah Michelle Gellar is running from a thing that's behind her a thing that she knows is bad and can kill her and when she hears a noise coming from the same direction she goes holy [ __ ] there's something behind me better turn around and check it out oh now why are you doing this to me Sarah Michelle Gellar you were literally a few steps from the safety of that parade but maybe parades are to blame hear the news James Bond thing starts with bond chasing a guy through Mexico City when they run into the traditional Skeletor is awesome parade and they both just stop we evolved for survival when there's real danger your adrenaline will kick in and you won't even need to think about running because your body is better than you at surviving unless you're in a dumb movie I've had it with you movies Daniel out join us next week when our topic will be I did me what I said just now movies I'm sorry I love you I'm sorry you want to hang out later Netflix and chill if you'll go and run the couch okay good okay join us next time when our topic will be five more simple tasks that are bizarrely hard to do in movies that can't be true who keeps writing these silly joke titles hey he's gonna hate this q Daniel bye hey thanks for watching us make sure you like and and like i said like less you like like it say together stop some like like just like it stop talking for a second i'm daniel lie hi don't watch this video

Channel: Cracked

Views: 2,569,105

Rating: 4.7564187 out of 5

Keywords: Cracked.com, Cracked, Daniel O'Brien, Obsessive Pop Culture Disorder, hollywood, high, drugs, dude where's my car, The Night Before, Seth Rogen, Transformers, movies, comedy, funny, spoof, weed, humor, parenthood, friends, sitcoms, turkeys, meet the parents, diapers, babies, James bond, Spectre

Id: wPhs_EQMbME

Length: 10min 26sec (626 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 08 2016

Reddit Comments

[u/yakatuus]

He also cracked a joke in a recent episode of OPCD that Kevin Smith wouldn't appear on the show (not sure if it was this one, just watched the last three today). Definitely read it as some CinemaSins jealousy.

[u/laikamonkey]

In all honesty, in the movie "The Night Before", Seth Rogen was on shrooms and not marijuana, which could explain his reaction a bit.

[u/AngryFanboy]

Lol, I picked that up too