5 Inaccurate Movies that Pretend to be Realistic

so you know how in every movie that features a radio people will say at one point over and out you probably assumes that that's just how you end conversations on radio the truth is that in proper CB and VHS voice procedure over means over to you and I am waiting for a reply and out means not over to you I don't expect you to say anything you and me we're done so over and out at some point between total gibberish and then actual taunt see it turns out that though we all know movies aren't real we always assume a certain level of research but we are so so wrong to expect that because the best fuse movies don't understand cars fast and furious movies started as a story about an LAPD detective tracking down stolen DVD players by building fast cars that became a story about an FBI agent infiltrating an international drug organization by stealing fast cars then became a story about actual gods battling each other with their cars and still these movies seem like they were made by someone who has never actually learned to drive it literally took them 30 films before they remembered that races were more fun if you remember that cars can turn and then in the very next one we got this scene let me walk that back it's it's it's not that they don't understand cars they clearly do is that they know that we don't understand trucks which is amazing because 99.9% of this movies audience owns and operates a car every single day but they still occasionally feel like they need to spit out a string of vaguely automotive themed words just to remind us what kind of movie we're watching granny's shifting not double-clutching like you should you know I'm glad they brought shifting up actually because driving a stick shift car isn't actually a form of ancient black magic despite what YouTube wants you to think car gears essentially work like bike gears you use low ones to get going and higher ones at higher speeds sure there are some extra gizmos like synchros and clutch plates but unless you're trying to build the transmission that's pretty much the whole deal except in the Fast and Furious movies where the shift knob works exactly like the hyperdrive in the Millennium Falcon hell in Fast Five Brian's driving his Challenger in Reverse while pushing is safe and he decides to shift into his second reverse gear honestly I have no idea what these filmmakers were thinking unless it's watching people shift gears and cool cars is an awesome and satisfying thing in which case I apparently do know what they were thinking and they were right so who cares Dead Poets Society does not understand poetry I understand why everybody folks Dead Poets Society it's because the scene were run blames as an impression of Marlon Brando doing Shakespeare which I expect combat deaf and fans wrong moms come from lemmie Iran that's awesome the only way you could make it better is by throwing in a cannon some boobs and Carl Urban's elevator frown from Dredd the problem is that dead post society is supposedly about poetry but the movie itself doesn't understand poetry at all and one scene we get an explanation of Robert Frost's poem the road not taken' two roads diverged in a wood and I I took the one less traveled by and that has made all the difference I want you to find your own walk right now your own way of striding pacing any direction anything you want whether it's proud it's silly anything he says it's about finding your own path in life except it's not he says and looked down one as far as I could to where it bent in the undergrowth then took the other as just as fair and having perhaps the better claim because it was grassy and wanted wear though as for that the passing there had worn them really about the same Frost poem about how one decision won't completely change the direction of your life it's the exact opposite of the movies message that post society is about these kids learning to free themselves how to express themselves clearly that's what we see in the cave scenes kids toying with Ohanian self-expression learning to seize the day you know what that reminds me of the beets generation Allen Ginsberg's howl is a poem published in 1957 howl had a lot of sex and drugs and stuff in it and it became a big deal because bookstore owners in San Francisco were arrested for selling it the following obscenity trial made national news but Dead Poets Society which takes place in 1959 never brings that up the whole damn movie takes place right in the middle of the explosion of post-modernism The Beat Generation the New York school of poets probably the last great period in the history of the forum and you wouldn't know it because most recent poet they discussed is Robert Dean Frost this is sort of like a Saving Private Ryan didn't mention World War 2 which frankly it's probably to the credit of Ginsberg since 30 years after the publication of his masterpiece it still do edgy to make it into the script of some feel-good Oscar bait I mean these kids are gonna go see this movies show them that hippie [ __ ] at a young age I'm gonna hit puberty they'll probably just go out let themselves be [ __ ] in the ass by saintly motorcyclists and scream with joy The Hurt Locker doesn't understand military since The Hurt Locker won the Best Picture Oscar was written by a journalist who was actually embedded in Iraq and directed by the director of Point Break yeah who promises she was striving to make her film is authentic as possible it's fair to assume that this was a pretty accurate depiction of military life right wrong I don't know anything about the military because but according to this website full of either soldiers or people who have done an excellent job convincing you that their soldiers the movie gets at least 62 things wrong and it's two-hour runtime that is one mistake every two minutes roughly these errors range from soldiers rolling up their sleeves and they shouldn't - standing way too close too dangerous bombs with no attempt at seeking cover according to one bomb disposal fat a screen screamingly frustrating scene where jeremy renner doesn't just cut the main cable when he discovers a bunch of connected bombs right obviously jeremy renner you just cut the main cable there ya idiot I'm sort of taking their word on this one I barely trust myself with fireworks there apparently most the job in the movie comes from stuff that could never ever happen unless everyone an explosive ordnance disposal just forgot about all their robots basically chill out jeremy renner our duty to has you covered gravity does enough fill out space gravity came out in 2013 we'd already seen Iron Man Superman and Thor fight aliens in space it was pretty refreshing to see a movie that through some real human being into the screaming nightmare void that surrounds our stupid little planet and it seemed like they got a lot of details right for example an actual astronaut says that a lot of valves and buttons Sandra Bullock messes with the various spaceships she uses are actually the right buttons for the stuff she wants to do that's a neat detail and I totally didn't have to get that right another thing they got right is that you can't breathe in space you have to wear a suit a good job gravity now you think that the actual space stuff would be right - but you'd be wrong and she's want to do internet super nerd Neil deGrasse Tyson explained that the Space Station's the Bullock hops back and forth from throughout the movie are actually hundreds of miles apart making most the plot impossible but I gotta call attention to one specific moment when Clooney is drifting away and Bullock just barely catches him what exactly is pulling on them right there why didn't they just bounce back there's the momentum of Clooney's head bobble propelling him backwards who's he cleats the Tomorrowland set and this is a major setup for the plot also this movie is set in space that is the easiest place to die and this is the best they can come up with but like any movie with a convincing enough tone people are right now rushing to the comment sections to argue why the scene is totally plausible fine do that I'm gonna agree with the actual astrophysicist no movie understands sailing at all so they've done a sailboat for 18 years that's why I knew the hole over and out thing and like anyone who knows a whole bunch about one specific thing I get really mad at movies get it wrong for example check up a sails both those boats are trims to be running which you do in the wind's coming from behind you they're headed right towards each other which means those boats have wind coming at them from different directions even though they're you don't care as far as the Caribbean as well be nitpicking physics and transformers moves fine let's try movie the people took seriously right so why is that wave breaking right there and I know the ocean more importantly they're in the eye of the storm and in the eye of the hurricane everything is getting pushed outward towards the rest of the Wolfgang Peterson you [ __ ] [ __ ] this is a real storm of the real huge waves that actually sank boats gonna throw a huge kaiju way that is like at the end of this movie you may as well just have Ursula from The Little Mermaid show up and sink the Andrea Gail all right fine what about all is lost that's a serious movie a lot of effort behind it you can tell it cuz it's Robert Redford nobody talks so surely it got sailing right yeah that's why this New York Times review commented on how old Robbie clearly has the skill to navigate the ocean except he doesn't he's a drooling [ __ ] though every non sailor who watches this movie sees a man struggling valiantly against the cruel mistress of the sea for people who are sailors always lost as a story of an insufferable doofus trying and ultimately failing to commit suicide by ignorance there I spoiled it he lives I spoiled the end of this insufferable King movie deal with it i canna pick a lot of a little stuff he does but I'll try to keep it to the things that will make sense of people who don't even know how the ocean works the first thing you do if you find a hole and your boat is you plug it with things life jackets pillows laundry whatever that's just what you do first you don't just leave it there with water pouring into your bilge yeah also you actually want to try to keep the hole in your boat not under water if you can heal the boat over so that the hole is above fine also it's generally a bad idea to t-bone giant metal objects and of the ocean are you keeping up so far you're not drowning a nautical jargon are you what he should have done is come up from lured and leftist sails to reduce speed because that's what docking is I have personally seen ten-year-old children do this I'm just using that anecdotal evidence to make the point that children are better sailors than you Robert Redford this is the Virginia Jean with an SOS call over this okay also not what you do proper procedure would be to say Mayday Mayday Mayday this is the Virginia gene here's my callsign my position whatever I'm too stupid to be in a boat I require immediate assistance then you take your finger off the transmit button not before you don't know if you're transmitting normally I'd insisted he use pan pan pan rather than Mayday because there isn't an immediate threat to his life yet but seeing how this guy makes decisions I feel like his life has been in immediate danger since his nephew gave him a copy of dove dove is a book about a teenager who sails around the world alone it's a big deal in some don't worry about it yeah that's fine do that so you might notice back in the Fast and Furious entry I confuse the Dodge Charger and a Dodge Challenger figure people get in the comments they get all mad and say didn't know anything about cars but that's the point you know just you get all mad you put angry things on the internet try to make a point about how much you know about stuff it's not good for your health and just let it go as little details movies it's fine everybody please like and subscribe

Channel: Cracked

Views: 1,465,207

Rating: 4.8452568 out of 5

Keywords: Jaws, Cracked, cracked.com, funny, cb radio, fast & furious, vin diesel, THe Fast and the Furious, movies, spoof, sketch, comedy, humor, Fast 5, Dead poets society, Judge Dredd, Robert Frost, the road not taken, Allan Ginsberg, sailing, jaws

Id: YwmVpHJeqgY

Length: 9min 53sec (593 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 22 2016