5 Kids Movies That Are Way Darker Than You Realized - YBOC (Toy Story, Iron Giant)

[Music] oh hey there kiddos I've got your test results right here they're written in jazz berry jam crayon and also you're sick and we'll talk about it later but until then my name is dr. George reading and when I was your age I was making silly videos just like this oh wow can you imagine me still doing some stupid crap like that well look at me now mom anyway you're watching the other kid tested mother approved episode of your brain on crack the show where I attempt to make you cry harder than Pixar and the only show on crash rated PG for frightening and intense sequences no shut up we have to move on today i diagnosed the best kids movies always thrown a little something for the adults and I'm not just talking about cartoon rabbits hand drawn to ruin marriages [Music] sometimes that means a couple of adult-oriented jokes sandwiched between the endless fart gags but other times it means dealing with more complex emotional themes like sadness or loss by that same token some kids movies hide little fun bits of utterly depressing horror only noticeable by somebody old enough to recognize that real life is full of tragedy and we are all just inches from death kids the Toy Story saga has always strove to make me feel guilty for throwing away my old crappy toys Pixar got their way our childhood dolls will be right alongside us for every major life development like graduations weddings and that's why audiences were so upset with the way Sid tortured and reassembled toys like a little dr. Frankenstein with braces but thanks to 2010's most terrifying horror film Toy Story 3 we now know that Sid wasn't just physically abusing his toys he was actually throwing them into terrifying existential crises in Toy Story 3 mrs. Potato Head looks through her detached eye to see Andy getting ready for college and packing just like a thousand Magnum condoms even though the eye is no longer attached to her body similar to whichever politician I could reference to make you most angry toys and their parts don't require fully functioning nervous systems additionally slinky dogs but sometimes goes rogue on him forcing slink to argue with his anus like an old man without ready access to laxatives in the Toy Story universe body parts can work independently of their primary host so what happens when you stick one part onto another toy which toy part gains the most control in that scenario is that baby head fighting an unending mental battle with its erector set legs for dominance is there a twisted spider headed American Girl doll creature lurking around somewhere else in the house fighting an internal war between its desperate body parts well this body horror points to another frightening fact about Toy Story toys they're immortal if they can survive extreme dismemberment and being grafted into butt to mouth toys centipedes they could pretty much survive anything remember how lotto gets hilariously tied to the grade of that dump truck his punishment for his sins well he'll be trapped there for god knows how many years his fuzzy flesh slowly being torn away by the wind until finally he's chucked into a landfill to live out eternity in claustrophobic darkness we're all just crashed waiting to be thrown away by the time of the movie cars humans are clearly extinct possibly as a result of a war with these sentient murder machines that can also motorboat you humanity has been replaced by these anthropomorphic vehicles who have a society the mirrors ours I mean there are judges waitresses and even creepy little freaks lord you think I just knock in here when nobody was looking and pretended to be your waiter the freakiest freak is the tow truck made her voiced by Larry the Cable Guy doing a heightens country accent that sounds like a man being slowly choked to death behind a Cracker Barrel animators job is towing destroyed cars to the junkyard which makes him the de facto town mortician we know vehicles die in this universe because mater clearly on ceremoniously Chuck's cars into mass graves and it's possible that some cars receive proper burials but which ones does mater only dispose of the poor sad cars who couldn't pay for a proper funeral I mean he does seem like a stickler when it comes to money you owe me $32,000 Julia fee but that's not all because mater's business is called towing and salvage if you can't afford to buy your beautiful Hyundai Sonata wife a new spark plug at least you can rest easy in the knowledge that the star of Larry the Cable Guy health inspector will dig through her corpse to see if her brake pads are decent enough to shove into some randos chassis and cars and require constant maintenance so possibly every single person in the Cars universe is powered by their dead friend's dismembered parts recovered from a mountain of discarded corpses lilo and stitch is a movie about a girl who really sucks at properly identifying animals what is that thing before she misidentifies the blue alien as a regular blue dog lilo misidentifies a fish named Pudge as a obviously one of Lilo's classmates calls her crazy because kids can be mean and and also lilo is very clearly crazy my friends need me it's not like she's getting these snow days in Hawaii so what is the little girl even gained from carrying the favor of some weather god fish or otherwise well for starters it might protect the people Lila loves from dying see Lila was an orphan living with her older sisters their parents were killed in a car crash during inclement weather Lila was now constantly afraid that she or somebody she loves will be similarly taken during a rainstorm her little kid brain is doing whatever it can to reestablish them control in her life in this instance that means feeding peanut butter sandwiches to a fish named Pudge but honestly that's definitely at least middle tier as far as religions go she's not just some cult leader making it up as she goes either she's clearly thought things through enough to realize that Pudge shouldn't eat in it because you know cannibalism and her thoroughness really just makes the whole thing way Saturn the inning of the Iron Giant is exactly happy but it is hopeful the giant has exploded sure but his friend Hogarth does get to keep possession of a leftover iron bolt as a memento of his fallen friend I miss him and yeah I guess it's a little weird because if the Iron Giant was a human that'd be the equivalent of like a finger or a pancreas but he's not a human so it's even better later that night the bolt seemed to be moving implying that the Giants various pieces are slowly coming back together just in time for Vin Diesel's returning to iron two Giants Tokyo Drift we were drift compatible you know who won't return for a sequel Hoegaarden because he'll be dead oh my god Hogarth holding onto a little piece of his buddy's corpse it's a really nice thought except for the fact that it was completely bathed in radiation radiation from nuclear catastrophe stays on scrap metal for a very very long time we're experiencing a worldwide problem right now where metal used in military or industrial hardware has been melted down and reused but the dangerous radiation lives on in 2005 Taiwanese residents living in apartments made of this reused metal saw a massive increase in leukemia and breast cancer again this is reused and refined metal decades after the fact Hogarth receives that bolt hours after it survives a direct nuclear explosion if he doesn't die from radiation poisoning he has about a hundred percent chance of developing premature cancer so if you weren't already weeping at the ending of the iron giant they'd be picturing a bald Hogarth blowing his Make A Wish on an early screening of The Phantom Menace will [Music] jungle book villain Shere Khan may look like a tiger who is maybe also an MMA fighter but honestly he's a pretty reasonable dude when he makes his entrance in 2016's live-action Jungle Book he doesn't just start tearing koala bears to shreds he actually lays out a solid well-thought-out argument for why Mowgli has to go Jeff Johnson grounds for a few years and everyone forgets how the Lord works or let me remind you a man-cub becomes man and man is so the wolf pack isn't just making questionable life choices there are actual jungle criminals when sheer Khan kills akela he's only carrying out the law of the land if his last name was Van Damme we'd be rooting for him all the way but of course Sher Khan's real flaw is not appreciating how Mowgli is just an innocent kid and he could be raised to respect nature right right well except for the fact that Mowgli uses this human advantage to steal a torch from a nearby village and burn down the whole freakin jungle Mowgli kills Khan and presumably hundreds of other more lovable cuddly creatures by doing the one disastrous thing the tiger was trying to prevent and shear Khan's mind sacrificing a few wolves to save the entire jungle is worth it but at Mowgli's mind burning down the entire jungle so he can I guess stay in the jungle and just never wear pants is worth it I want to be like you okay yes so built a new religion around a fish named Pudge made mater the tow truck or Satan and determined that forgotten toys are the despondent centers doomed to weeping and gnashing of their plastic teeth for unbearably painful eternity anyway be sure to grab some drugs from Kathy on your way out for your measles oh I'd forgot about those I forgot we were bringing it back but what a fun throwback for the kids fun that was real [Applause] [Music] everybody I'm here at this location and I hope you enjoyed that video please subscribe and hit the bell and do the notifications thing so that I can go to more locations 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Channel: Cracked

Views: 96,450

Rating: 4.6801572 out of 5

Keywords: your brain on cracked, cracked, jordan breeding, humor, comedy, skits, sketches, kids movies, iron giant, lilo and stitch, toy story, jungle book, mowgli, mater, dark kids movies, movie plots, movie tropes, funny, cracked.com, cars, Pixar, Disney, Pixar's Cars, after hours, small beans, doctor jordan breeding, iron giant sad, sad movies, toy story 4, toy story 3, Woody, Buzz, Buzz Lightyear, Tom Hanks

Id: EKxRS7vcx7w

Length: 9min 51sec (591 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 26 2020