A Quiet Place explained by an idiot

welcome to a very silent location post-apocalyptic america [ __ ] running around a pharmacy but actually he's a kid and he sits down next to his sister and they throw up gang signs aka they use assigned language to communicate because a she's a death [ __ ] and b there are giant [ __ ] monsters roaming around with superheroes that kill anything that makes too loud of a noise probably should load with that now let's meet the rest of the genetically related gang emily bunt who's very sadly scavenging meds for her third dumbass child and jimbo the sperm provider and it's time to get to going but right before they leave the smallest karczynski almost drops a toy and wants to take it home with him but then jim takes it and defuses the bomb and saying that it's too loud and that it can't have it using gang signs of course but why not give it to him now degenerate gym the batteries are out the bomb is defused what the [ __ ] he's just gonna take it soon as you turn your back what you do you [ __ ] [ __ ] but hey what do you know i was wrong he doesn't take the toy his dumb ass sister gives it to him then she turns her back on him too to leave and what do you think he does he takes the [ __ ] batteries why is everybody turning their back on this 88 five-year-old [ __ ] i can already tell that stupidity runs deep in this family anyway they walking home and they thought of almost everything on how to travel silently and safe like walking barefoot to make less noise and walking on pre-laid sand to make even less noise but emphasis on the almost everything because they're traveling in the wrong order here the right order is supposed to be parent up front leading the party and pair in the back watching the kids do possibly loud antics and stopping them from doing that so they don't [ __ ] die well in all honesty might have avoided what is about to happen next which is dumb infant who's traveling at the back of the pack puts battery in the toy and makes a noise and gets rugby tackle [ __ ] deaded by a sound whoring monster despite his dad's best efforts to save him which by the way he was the furthest away and he had to put down his other sick child and run over to get him while his wife was just standing there like a buffoon i mean it's not like she could have saved him either but still how is this helping you're not screaming okay cool when that actually would have helped because you know self-sacrifice and all and wait no why don't they have a monkey bomb i'll never play cod zombies it's been like 89 days since the apocalypse started right and no one has thought of it i hate this family i just tell me so much i hope they'll die [ __ ] them fast forward today 472 here's a shot that basically screams movie exposition at you so just pause the video here and absorb this information because i'm too lazy to [ __ ] explain it they're living on their farm in the basement of their barn i think trying to find help on radio signals and [ __ ] the mother's prego not the wisest choice to have a baby in such a predicament as i'm sure they are aware but whatever maybe they ran out of condoms and birth control to scavenge or jim forgot about the oldest birth control trick in the book doesn't matter though they seem prepared with soundproofing and stuff and they eat fish kids play monopoly monopoly does its job of ruining families because a dumb kid accidentally knocks down this fire blight i forgot what his name was called lantern doesn't matter that's not important because it made a noise and fire which jim puts out and he tells him to shut the [ __ ] up they hear noise and he looks out the window and he's definitely getting jump scared by something here yep there you go he takes a bus [ __ ] a couple raccoons drop down fall off the roof or whatever and while they're wandering off talking about doing asmr by rubbing their stillborn's head against the microphone they catch these hands from the sound [ __ ] does this hurt by the way a little bit later on in the basement of their old house they're trying to fix death [ __ ] hearing aid because it's been broken for a while when mom comes in and they dance the next day they do the huge lay down sand pregnancy checks boring stuff you know and a deaf kid wants to go into the basement of their old house which the kids are not allowed into for some reason i don't know why maybe it's too squeaky or noisy whatever but she's being really careful to step on the non-squeaky spots on the floor that are pre-marked which they only could have done using trial and error which makes me ask how the [ __ ] they did not die while making these maybe this clicks were low volume whatever her dad stops her from going in she gets mad and throws a hold i'm not a kid anymore shin dig you feel me he don't care though and he tries to put that new hearing aid that he made for her in her head but she doesn't want her like that beside her to god if you want to stop touching me i'ma call cps so he just gives a turn in her hand like fine but my badge we're trying to help out have fun being a [ __ ] [ __ ] meanwhile other kid getting homeschooled and gets called for a field trip with his dad but he doesn't want to go because he's a massive [ __ ] sister got more balls in him however and wants to go but jim's licked no you have to stay with your mom which makes her even more angry silently more angry you do realize that you could just tell her that you want to do stuff with him that requires people with functional ears that'll make all this crap much easier jiminy [ __ ] anyway she huffs and puffs away the males go off to the river to get some fish and jimmy tells his son about this high level strat where if you have a louder noise next to you you can make smaller noises and be safe and don't die which makes sense i guess also the monsters must have learned to ignore the loud constant noise of this waterfall so they go and talk a bit over there and they can scream and do whatever the [ __ ] they want cause it's not waterfall they talk about their brother and deaf sister meanwhile deaf sister tried the new hearing aid thingy but it doesn't work wait is she snapping her fingers isn't that a bit risky by the way what if someone makes an involuntary noise like a sneeze or a cough or hiccup can't control that dude taco bell taco bell killed someone definitely in this movie someone's had either an avalanche triggering fart or a jet engine diarrhea and died i guarantee it so she can hear then she gets sad and what does she decide to do next naturally in apocalypse you run away genius move kiddo real smart real smart [ __ ] she goes to where her little bro died they had like a shrine there for him and i don't know how she has the confidence in this wire being the one for the toy speaker but she does she cuts it and turns it on to pay respect for a little bro meanwhile squared mama was doing laundry in the basement of the house and the laundry side gets caught on something and in her infinite stupidity she pulls on him yeah because that's going to increase your likelihood of having a quiet out come to this [ __ ] problem also your tired final stage of pregnancy ass is exerting unnecessary effort here because you could just give it some slack and unhook it where's the common sense another thing that irks me this nail is supposed to be hammered down right but for this to happen it has to have what i like to call considerable poke which would also make it visible in say a shot like this but it isn't in other words [ __ ] this movie right in the titty moving on on the river boys way back they found a hail bailey jackson who's sat over his dead wife i think and his mouth does his transformation like he's about to yell man look at that thing though he lets out a big then them here boys run away to hide then jackson gets [ __ ] by a sound [ __ ] thus complete and utterly useless scene in this movie but whatever allowed me to do this meme and i'm going to stop talking this hillbilly [ __ ] what axe in there back at home mom is sad in that kid's room when she goes into labor or her water breaks i don't know if that's the same thing or not but you get a baby time is upon us and on her way down to the basement to turn on the emergency lights she steps on that nail this is right about where all the plebs go however i didn't i don't really care [ __ ] that [ __ ] she drops the frame of her dead kid ie she makes a noise and it pulls her foot out the [ __ ] nail i forgot the word wow she turns on that emergency lights then sees a sound hole sneaking up on her so she reaches for alarm clock of an alarm clock thing as a distraction monkey bump finally thank god she does something smart and when it goes off she runs upstairs to give birth in the bathtub now at the same time the dudes arrived and they saw the oh [ __ ] light so the kids get sent off to launch some fireworks to draw the attention of the sound hordes away from mommy she takes that opportunity and screams her lungs out uses the knowledge of her three previous trials to speedrun childbirth i like to imagine that the kids shot out of her jj tony hawk ramped it off the tub and into her arms kinda like this but that's just me also it's kind of impossible because the tap's in the way so yeah anywho jim's there with the shotguns pretty sure he's not stepping on any of the predetermined unsqueaky spots yet we hear no squeaks how odd however there are fireworks going off so whatever he finds his wife and newborn fetus in the shower and carries them both into the basement of his barn puts the baby in a soundproof box with oxygen links his wife to sleep a bit and the soundproofing has worked they can speak normally without getting caught by the roaming sound [ __ ] good for them she wakes up and talks about her dead kid like i could have carried him i could have done so and so he like nah it's not your fault yeah toots he's right it's not your fault alone's entire family's fault also stop getting pregnant for [ __ ] sake should have taken the hand twenty kid died two's enough woman anyway dad goes to look for his other kids while water starts flooding into the basement i'm guessing this is something to do with the laundry or the monster ripping a pipe i don't [ __ ] know doesn't matter let's go to the kids for a second because dumbass [ __ ] boy got scared and ran into the [ __ ] cornfield slamming into a tractor which is the dumbest idea ever because that is loud as balls and i don't know how he's not dead here who cares his sister was chilling on her dead bro's cross saw the fireworks came over and had a close encounter with the sound war where the frequency of her aids hearing pissed it off and then she finds her alive brother and wait for their dead on top of this corn seed container thingy with a fire arguing like that ain't coming he hates me yes he's come and he loves you [ __ ] relax then they both end up almost drowning in c [ __ ] by accident and death girl on purpose to go down and save him which prompts a sound creeper that was about to kill mom and fetus in the flooding basement to come and attack them but the hearing thingamabob does is shtick and pisses off the soundtour again then they find their dad and he tells him to hide in his old truck death [ __ ] turns her hearing aid off because it pisses her off too but that in turn allows the sound creeper to attack them freely when dad makes a tiny noise and tells her that he always loved her and prepares to make a really loud noise to sacrifice himself for his kids instead of at least trying to throw the axe at the shed to make a noise and possibly get away with his life what a [ __ ] idiot chromosome collector also [Applause] really that's the noise you go for in your final moments on this earth i would have gone for something like muppets you call that a face more like an armadillo's [ __ ] you [ __ ] kid lets the handbrake go they rolled down the hill to the house where mom was in the basement watching all this unfold on the security cameras meets up with them takes them into the basement girly sad cause daddy dead then a sound [ __ ] comes in threatening and [ __ ] scary [ __ ] right and the deaf kid figures out that the hearing aid is their weakness and it pisses them off and [ __ ] and i seriously cannot believe that the human race had enough time and resources to print out [ __ ] newspapers but nobody thought to sensory overload the one sense that these creatures rely on the most i mean come on you flashbang people for crying out loud all right i'm just gonna pretend that there is exactly one specific frequency that pisses them off and that the entire family had a thousand four leaf clovers shoved up all their amuses when jimmy neutron was trying to make that [ __ ] hearing aid and he miraculously landed on that one [ __ ] frequency and i'm just gonna this is not worth it i'm moving on it's almost over dev kit turns it on puts it to the speaker it's face anus opens up when every gamer knows that that is its weak spot you shoot it there and she blows his so-called face off but that triggers two more sound horrors to run over to them so they prepare to kill them too they lock and load and the movie ends at that this movie gets 18 prosthetic limbs out of three wooden eyes [Music] you

Channel: High Boi

Views: 6,734,644

Keywords: a quiet place, a quiet place recap, a quiet place review, high boi, funny, haha

Id: PSsfJ-Zm5qo

Length: 9min 21sec (561 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 11 2021