Zombieland explained by an idiot

welcome to Zombieland I should have made this video before the second one came out but [ __ ] it better late than never first we are introduced to our boy Columbus he's tried to get to Columbus because he wants to check if his family's alive in this zombie infested world but when he goes to fill up his car and to take a [ __ ] he gets attacked by two zombies and he runs around in circles and then gets into his car and drives away then he finds a zombie in his backseat which I don't know how to [ __ ] he got there since you have this rigorous and long set of rules that used to keep alive in this zombie land and I'm pretty sure you were driving this car from the for you didn't just find it at this gas station and I know the doors of the car were unlocked but assuming zombies can't unlock or open the door without fumbling around and following for a while how the [ __ ] is there no blood on the car from the zombie opening the door and while I'm on the subject of blood to my understanding of zombies in this movie it takes a while free return so once you turn does that automatically give you blood splatters all over your clothes and if you don't to say my point let me explain because in the opening sequence we got a [ __ ] are people just turned or running after people who are normal trying to eat them for example this bride notice her bloody gown and that she is a [ __ ] zombie now this shot indicates that she just turned right here right now on the place where you say I do yes you may kiss the bride whatever because if she had turned before on their way down the aisle to attacked anybody in the [ __ ] audience or family or whatever no she returned right there so I asked you this how the [ __ ] is her gown old buddy and [ __ ] that's only supposed to be her face right however the first zombie that Columbus ever encountered was this [ __ ] that slept on his shoulder and then turned while he was asleep and while she was asleep presumably and her clothes weren't bloody at all what's the deal sorry there was a weird tangent now back to the movie so Columbus has a zombie on his car what does he do he ran straight into a wall and has the zombie fly out of the [ __ ] wind screen gets out the car and shoots him twice to make sure he's dead with his double-barrel shotgun which is one of the most inefficient zombie weapons in my opinion at least because you can only shoot two shots and it takes forever to reload it's just now it's just a bad weapon in my opinion what ever since his cars [ __ ] hits the highway on foot passing by all these presumably non-functional cars then he hears a car in the distance coming to him and it stops for him then a dude comes out and he has a Mexican standoff with him then he asks him for a ride and Tallahassee one badass mofos who has a sweet spot for Twinkies agrees to give him one and since he's gonna be going in the same direction as him for a long while badass Tallahassee is gonna be stuck with pachitea nervous Columbus for a while and on their travels they stopped by a Walmart or some big-ass supermarket because Tallahassee wants to have one last Twinkie before the world's Twix supply expires so they go in there and tell as he kills three fat [ __ ] zombies with style and splatters their brains all over the place which come to think of it is a very risky way to kill zombies not because you have to get really up-close and you might risk them biting you but because of the blood splatter that can get into someone's mouth and infect them so after he kills the three zombies they find a hot female Wichita and she leads them to her younger sister on the rock and she is ineffective and she doesn't want to turn into a zombie so she wants for them to kill her so she doesn't have to go to the pain of turning into a [ __ ] zombie so tell us he's about to shoot her but last-second Wichita says wait no give me the gun I'm all do I missed a [ __ ] and she's about to turn and then boom she turns tail has he points the gun at him then her not so infected little sister take Stella he's gonna put a Columbus and they take this [ __ ] in their car and they leave them into another parking lot now this all leads me to believe that these girls were in there with three fat zombies without any guns the same three feds armies that were alerted by a dude playing a few soft notes on a [ __ ] banjo how doesn't matter because they're on their way to a theme park in LA called specific specific player no Pacific Playland and that is one stupid idea yet dumb [ __ ] so Tallahassee and Columbus are walking to town and then tell has events some anger by destroying a minivan which no nearby zombies here then they find a yellow Hummer h3 which by the way is one of the worst zombie apocalypse vehicles I can think of just because of the gas mileage something else inside this Hummer there is a bunch of guns in the back seat and two severed hands on the steering wheel Tallahassee's overjoyed with this news and he takes one of the guns and he shoots it in celebration in there and no nearby zombies hear this either and the only way to separate hands would be on the steering wheel is if a body was sitting there at some point and it got ripped out by a bunch of zombies if so where's the [ __ ] blood whatever they drive down the road and eventually they find their old car broken down and it's a trap set by the girls who once again steal their car but this time because the girls feel bad for her dumb they are they let them hang with them and Wichita tells us Columbus that Columbus is rundown there's nobody living there anymore and everybody dead which is bad news for him and he said cuz so that means his family's dead so he decides to stick with them for the time being and as I Drive down the road they get to a Native American souvenir shop and they decide to destroy it and have some fun and I'm just gonna pretend like they found a functioning gas station with gas and filled up that Hummer before they got there because there's no way they'd over four hundred [ __ ] miles on one tank of gas in that thing no they drive some more on bond and [ __ ] than they arrived to California and they decide to stay in Bill Murray's mansion which sadly for Tallahassee has no Twinkies in it so they decide to split up and search the mansion to see if anybody's there but both of the oops end up getting distracted doing dumb [ __ ] then is zombiefied Bill Murray walks in into Wichita on tell has he and Wichita smacks him in the back with a [ __ ] golf bat or racket both both stick golf stick what's the cold golf club that's one and as it turns out Bill Murray is not a zombie he's just wearing something makeup so we can get out of the house because zombies don't mess with other zombies so the three of them end up having a good time in getting high and [ __ ] and they decide to go and scare Columbus and Little Rock but mainly Columbus cause he's getting [ __ ] which is a horrible idea since they were supposed to be looking for in essence a zombified Bill Murray anyway bill tries to scare Columbus and he succeeds cuz Columbus [ __ ] shoots him and kills boomer told you was a bad idea so they respectfully send off mr. Murray then they play some monopoly and they find out that Tallahassee had a kid and a zombies got him and that's why he we really [ __ ] hate zombies then Tallahassee shows little rock how to shoot properly while Wichita and Columbus at around drinking some wine hurting then they get up to dance and they were moving in for a kiss then Tallahassee comes in on [ __ ] blocks Columbus good going man then the next day comes around and the girl decide to leave in that giant gas guzzling behemoths I mean seriously that Porsche we're gonna better do is a vehicle Fraley honestly anyway they decide to leave because they're getting too attached to the guys and they're better off on their own apparently and they get the Pacific Playland and this dumbass [ __ ] turns on every single light and right in this [ __ ] Playland [ __ ] which attracts every single zombie in the area to set Pacific Playland finally finally thank you so they get in the car and they get surrounded by zombies and they drive into some water then they go into this [ __ ] pogo stick live in the theme park on all its color just goes up and down up and down up and down up and down at varying speeds you know I'm talking then when they're at the very tippy top they shoot the control panel to stay at the very tippy top and not get in my son's meanwhile back at Bill Murray's mentioned Columbus has decided to go over to Pacific Playland and tell what Utah how he feels I guess and Telus is gonna help him out because he feels bad for how stupid and helpless I guess so they get there and they find out that the girls are in trouble and the zombies have started climbing up to them and tell has he attracts most of the zombies using an air horn and then he starts wreaking havoc on them while enjoying some of the rides then this madman gets into a teddy bear booth and closes himself off while all the zombies surround him and makes his own little theme park game shooting range thing except he doesn't really closed himself off probably because it's very clearly open here but it doesn't matter he kills them all it still looks dope as [ __ ] while this was happening some of the zombies broke up and started following Columbus who's still using that horribly inefficient double-barrel not only that he makes it another stupid and once into a haunted house to deal with the zombies yes dimly-lit haunted house with sudden flashing disorienting lights and many disfigured characters that could very easily be mistaken for zombies yes how wise of you doesn't matter he gets out of there and gets lucky with one of the rides that kills off the rest of the zombies following him and he kills a big scary zombie clown with a hammer from that whack the base of this thing really hard game was called then he gets the girls down using the emergency kill switch they kiss tell as he gets his Twinkie and they drive off as a happy zombie killing family this movie gets a out of a Z I like [Music] [Music]

Channel: High Boi

Views: 2,532,990

Keywords: zombieland, zombieland recap, zombieland review, everything wrong with zombieland, movie recap, movie, spoilers, funny, haha, lol

Id: DvpWozcXnoE

Length: 7min 24sec (444 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 04 2019