Your Preparation | IWU | Tony Gaskins

hey tony guys here popping in with another lesson from iwu independent woman university and what you have to understand about the word independent independent does not mean single until death independent means you can stand on your own two feet and it is a period of time in your life on the maturity continuum where you go from dependent to independent to interdependent independent is not a negative word it's not a bad word it's a good word it means you could stand on your own two feet ten toes down if you got ten toes you got less than that you stand on what you got on but you are independent and then when you attract someone now when you get married you are interdependent not codependent you are interdependent which is another positive word but you must first be independent before you can be interdependent because no independent man wants a dependent or a codependent woman a independent man wants a independent woman the two court date get married and then they become interdependent which is we share money it all goes to a joint account then the woman gets her spending money the man gets his spending money and all the bills are paid out of the joint account everything happens the the woman can see all the money the man can see all the money it's no this is my money this is your money this is our money you married because one person may make 90 000 and another person may make 10 000 but when you married you won so understand that independent does not mean a curse or a death sentence or like it's some bad word it is a good thing and it's what you have to be and need to be until you meet your husband so understand that now in this space in your preparation you know your preparation is really like your come up this really where you growing you we talked about healing where you're doing the healing and understand this you got to listen to the message holistically and just because you don't hear the trigger word that you want to hear does not mean the message does not apply i saw someone say can you talk about uh guilt or something like that that's a part of healing so the same thing that i would speak on about feeling guilt that is the first video when you heal because see when you heal that will remove your guilt your fear your doubt when you heal healing meaning learning what you did wrong learning what should be done right getting new knowledge and see fear and guilt comes from a lack of knowledge it comes from a lack of confidence it comes from a lack of healing it comes from pain so when you heal that that's how you grow now in your preparation phase what you have to realize is that there are good men but see a good man is looking for his equivalent or greater meaning you may be a little bit better and vice versa a woman is looking for her equivalent or greater in a man but what this means is you have to have your best foot forward so you have to be pushing yourself because what you do in your life it represents who you are it represents your mindset so if you are comfortable working at the call center for ten dollars an hour and your job is to collect debt that's a starting point but you can't just say this is what i'm going to be doing for life now if you're trying to become the manager the supervisor and then a partner or owner of a similar company or to get your credit up and get your savings up to where you could buy the building that y'all sitting in there calling out of then that's totally different but you have to see a part of healing and changing your thoughts changing your mindset is setting new goals for yourself because you may come from a place or area where the goals weren't that high to where nobody goes to college you maybe didn't go to college or if you did go to college but the goal could be be overworked and underpaid not a written goal it's not spoken but it's still what's happening in your family see you have to go beyond that and what you'll notice is when you look around you will notice women who don't have your body or don't have your fashion sense don't have your style but she has a grind that has given her the wherewithal the hustle to go start a business and she makes six figures seven figures and this other woman could be cute and all but she settle for the call center instead of just letting that be her launching pad her starting point she got complacent there and she didn't go on saturdays to cosmetology school or to the tax preparer school or to the credit repair certification or to the life coach certification she didn't do anything outside of that call center or driving for uber and she said this is all i'm gonna be well when an independent good man who has goals and he has six figure goals seven figure goals when he comes along and he sees that woman he's like uh she's looking for somebody she can ride off of or her her thoughts too limited her vision for her life is too limited and that's going to rub off on my kids that's a generational curse that she bonded that she in bondage to and i i don't have i don't want to raise her i don't want to change that because that's who she is and i don't want to be fighting her to do that and i remember one time when i was in college i was kind of talking to this young lady that i knew in high school and remember what i was talking about in my last video how i had a girlfriend and she was dating the older guy and one trying to do nothing with me but we're dealing with the older guys well that same mentality led her to no college and no she ended up becoming a dancer on the pole not ballet and ballerina now on the pole and from there i remember one time talking to her and she said listen i don't have anything i could offer you and i was like wow she said i feel bad i don't even want to talk to you don't want to deal with you because you know you're in college you're doing big things you playing football she's like some days i go to work and i make twelve dollars and i was like wow so it was a thing to where for me i want i want to focus on that i was so young i didn't really care about what a woman does you know how much money she make or anything like that i didn't care about none of that because i didn't have that mindset i wasn't there but for y'all today this way back 2002 you said i mean 2003 it's 20 20. it's 17 years later so for y'all today it's so much technology it's so much opportunity to where you can get on instagram and you know women who selling makeup from alibaba y'all know alibaba.com this ain't no sponsorship either but that makeup that y'all be buying from the people them hair drops you have drops a lot of them have drops is olive oil they got on alibaba and ordered the bottle ordered the bobble order the bottle and alibaba thomas they formulated this hair growth oil over there that's olive oil how you going to discreet to the grocery store and get you some olive oil get on alibaba.com order you the little bottles and then pour some olive oil you know and they got the little top they got a little drip in there but it's women that you see making millions of dollars selling hair drops selling uh mayonnaise to go in your head selling lace fronts selling bundles selling nail polish selling lipstick chapstick uh selling makeup selling waist trainers selling leggings bras head scarfs bonnets you see what i'm saying it's so much opportunity out here you literally go create your own line on alibaba.com i got my barber a beard brush with a beard comb with the little silk zip zip tie bag little silk bag that you can put the brush and the comb in and the beard oil to keep your beard moisturized i got him all of that right there off of alibaba off of alibaba oh yeah i'm gonna be in the consultant oh yeah you know that and that's how i do business i ordered me you know the little keychain that you put on your with a little crystal it's a little crystal and it got the logo of the car like if you drive a ford i ordered me a hundred of those off alibaba for two hundred dollars and they shipped them over here to me in the box little blue bars a little velvet in there and the key chain sitting there got the little crystal with the ford sign in there and now we're gonna make me a a shop on etsy selling customized ford key chains cause when anytime i get a car i google customize such-and-such keychain and that's what came up that little key chain so i went on my trusted alibaba.com and i found a keychain keychain a dollar a piece i paid 12 dollars uh when i had my maserati i paid 34 dollars for that keychain they selling on there for a dollar i say somebody paid a dollar paid two dollars with shipping included and then it hit me for 34 dollars they made 32 dollars they sell 100 of those a month the marketing etsy doing the marketing where i bought it from they market the product for the person i said they do 100 of those a month they make it 3 200 a month you ain't got to go to work that's more than school teachers make sitting online selling keychain you see what i'm saying it's opportunity out here so that's what you see a lot of these men trying to get to they trying to get to that so when they start to look at the woman they don't want no complacent woman they don't want no woman that's settling so see this a thing a lot of women say oh i want a good man you just got to realize a good man elevating a good man elevate he in the gym working that he and his business grinding a good man elevate he don't want he don't want to carry you now see here's the thing about me and this is what you got to understand about me and now men will sit you down a man will take a six figure woman and sit her down allow her to be a stay-at-home mom without without giving her any pressure like listen you want to be home with the kids until they three four five whatever you want to stay home for good you could do that it's not that he wants it's not that the man want a good man wants her money it's that he wants to know that she doesn't feel entitled to being rescued or to being carried so literally there are women who were doctors and lawyers and all kind of stuff got sat down after going to school for 12 years to become a doctor end up using that degree for two three years before being married and then deciding to stay home to be hands on with their children spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to become a doctor to then retire and become a stay-at-home mother but what that did is that secure her husband because of her ambition because of her wherewithal her go-getter added to her hustler mentality it put her on another level so she was seen differently than the complacent woman who settled for a dead-end job without doing other stuff outside of that dead-end job it's all right to have a dead-end job that's where you got to start at because that's where your education is at and your education is there because that's where your family was because it's generational curses and you just trying to get further than your parents got so it's okay to start somewhere but you still got i started working in a group home making 8.50 an hour what attracted me to my wife outside of her personality and all of that she was a biomedical science major i say you got to have some nerd you hear me i'm over here struggling in criminology you and what how you say that what my deckler i couldn't even pronounce biomedical science i'm saying so what you want to be a doctor a doctor i started when she did that i just saw daddy daycare i saw myself being at the house with the kids i said yes their home father you hear me yes lord thank y'all finally make me some money yes lord thank you and i talk to good men and who good man not they gonna they're gonna bust their butt now i bust my butt it flipped on me i tell my wife what i was thinking i'm kind of joking so don't take that too serious i was jokingly serious nah cause at that point right there i was like all right i can't compete with that this whole criminology degree i'm not gonna be able to pee with the doctor i might as well just settle that i'm gonna be a stay-at-home dad and so i was trying to wrap my head around and let go of my ego to say all right i'ma stay home i'll be a stay-at-home dad cause she's gonna have the work 60 to 80 hours a week as a doctor she happened to get pregnant before she got her undergrad a degree and then after having our son she still went to get her masters which was like a one trial type program that was to emulate med school so you can see if you got what it takes to get through med school she did that and in that program you get a master's degree of science masters of science and her friends her classmates they went on to med school after that but she said i am a mother now and a wife and i don't want to my son has special needs like he had you know a lot of allergies just a lot of issues asthma just a lot going on stay sick and she said i don't want to have to go to med school and have to be studying 16 hours a day and can't be a mother and have to put this all on my husband who i see clearly cannot be the best or be the level that i'm going to be as a parent and she was right and so she made that decision and i said baby you know we could go where you want to go wherever med school at we could do this now we could make this happen because i love me now still trying to be a stay at home damn i'm like come on now let's keep going i hey come on i'm dropped out of college nine all right you see i was just in the street selling drugs like come on let's get this doctor let go be a doctor now but god had other plans but it was the fact that she had that ambition that made her even more attractive to me and i noticed that when i'm dealing when i'm talking to men these are good men who going to pay the bills who gonna pay for everything who going to sit their wife down if she wants to sit down totally fine with it but they say man she hey man she she a daughter hey man she she a engineer well hey man she she a uh scientist she do research or hey man she uh executive for this corporation you know hey she did she that and men be bragging about that because it's like i got me a go-getter ambition hustler the way if something happened to me she could pick up and keep going keep things going if i'm sick or what have you and so i don't seen i remember seeing an athlete to where he sat his wife down because he was playing pro ball but then when he finished playing pro ball she picked back up and the kids were older she picked back up her six figure career and when his money stopped now her money picked back up now they were able to still keep a certain level of lifestyle and so as a woman you got to understand that although you want a husband you got to get prepared and positioned to make sure you could stand on your own two feet so in this space this where we really focusing on the three b's this is where we focusing on the three b's which this is what i made up all right writing a book i made this up while i was writing and a lot of what you which i read in my book i made it up right then while i was writing because i just write my book straight through without stopping i write five days and the book done okay so the three b's came while i was writing a book and i broke it down to brain feeding your mind you feeding your mind you getting knowledge watching these videos you're getting knowledge of love and relationships the way men think the way men move you getting that knowledge all right that's the brain the brand that's where you working on your career you're working on your image you're working on everything that a brand is you working on your attitude your personality and then the body you eating right you exercising you doing what you could do now your body gonna be it's different body types but as long as you're doing what you can do that is a healthy lifestyle then that's where you're supposed to be at brain brand body the three b's all right here's somebody else say it they done stole it from me and when you focus there everything you know you can say oh what about faith my relationship that's your brain that's your brand that fit in there too when you're working reading books you also read the holy bible or whatever you want to read but you reading that holy bible that's your that's your brain you feeding your mind your spirituality your heart you getting your faith up your brain that's also a part of your brain and that's also part of your body your spiritual temple your body is a temple so you making better decisions with your body what's what you putting your body what you putting into your body not just being vegan you need to be vegan from this here too all right cause that old meat leg that's what we call that third leg the men the third leg that swing okay that's a meat leg you need to be vegan from that too all right you vegan over here you ain't eating no sausage over here but then you singing on the microphone got all kind of sausage over here you seen on me that don't go together stay off your back you need to be vegan in that bedroom and get that meat at you you see what i'm saying so now you working on brain brain body and you put this all together and listen to me listen to oh see this is what i'm tired of so you want us to be perfect so basically you want us to be perfect so because i got a little extra meat on my house you trying to say i can't handle man and because i don't read my body i can't say you want us to be perfect and you just want us to take this whole sorry men just take them as they are and you want us to build them in see this right here is not fair no did i say that all right then so get out your feelings start feeling sorry for yourself get off your behind and get to work because when i see him in when i see the good me yes and tell me when i when i see good men they go to the gym three to seven days a week they read a new book every month if not every week they going to church if they can't go to church you know because of the situation they got to have that mask on breathing in all that co2 they at the house and their body and their bible every day reading one to two chapters a day you know suffering with the lord meditating with the lord they it on they grind on a business trying to scale their business the six figures then trying to come up with a seven figure plan that's what good men doing and they're good man out there and they working towards that so you have to focus on your preparation and working on you and this one this one of the things that i noticed most often with independent women see independent really mean you could stand on your own two feet you pay your own bills that's really at the end of the day that's really what independent means independent thinker independent doer independent worker you can stand on your own two feet it's not that you don't want help it's not that you don't need help it's that you can hold it down if you need to but this is the thing that i noticed with most independent women they lacking one of the bees okay you got to have the three bees you just can't have the body or you just can't have the brains or you just can't have the brain you gotta complete the three you see what i'm saying so when i met my wife the brain biomedical science major very smart read 600 words a minute articulate i could tell she was well read well studied on her ground the brand she was in school to be a doctor that career that's the brand the body she ran track at the time so she loved to work out she worked out she still had meat on her bones now she still had you know when you know as a woman you sit down a lot of your weight go to your stomach you sit down and it going to wrap folding up and everything you know that's me and too we i'm not saying you got to look like no olympian you ain't got to look like usain bolt you know a jacket joiner curser no olympian you just have to be taking care of you i still i got weight on me my wife she still had meat on the bone back then but she was working not nah and so i say hey and body wasn't in my idea it wasn't like oh boom boom everything everything she really ain't having a whole lot of buddha nothing but that didn't matter because she was taking care of herself so that's just how your body built you not built to be ham heavy you built to have more bite than booty and then eventually after a couple kids after the gym got more booty she don't necessarily like no lotta booty so me i do she don't necessarily like all that because that ain't all that cute to her so i let her be heard and i didn't say oh because you don't have the exact shape buddha that i want i'm leaving a grown man not gonna do that because she could have said lord i would have wished he was a couple inches taller than 5 10. i put on some heels i'm looking at his top of his scalp you said i mean she could have said that but she said no i'm gonna let you i'm gonna take you five ten you know cuz she's like five seven and a half five seven three quarters and so when we flat-footed i'm taller than her and well she put on some heels she's looking at the crown on my head from the sole of my feet and so she could have said that too but see when you mature you're not going to do that you just looking to see that this person is working and see potential is different than production sometimes people say oh don't date potential you got to look at the definition of the word potential potential is a good thing but see potential produces if if you just not producing then that's not potential that's posturing that's perpetrating you see what i mean so potential is actually something of substance so if i know my wife like to work out then i know that and she's gonna be working out and she's not just gonna kick back and just eat cakes and cookies all day and just let everything go to where i'm gonna have to lose her at 40 from you know eating habits i know she's going to take care of body if i know she like to read and she feeding her mind i know that she's going to stay sharp her mind gonna stay sharp she's gonna be articulate my wife does not read self-help books she just read she read fiction books you know she just she her book is entertaining she don't need self-help books because she's not trying she's not working in that space and i have to realize that and understand that i need self-help books because i'm an entrepreneur and i'm working in that space she need relaxation from all the you know mundane life of being a wife and a mom and having that same routine she get a good book and it just helped her mind escape but at least let me know that she'd like to feed her mind meaning keep her brain active and it's not nothing it's not detrimental my wife does not watch any reality television so what you got to understand is a real man he when when it comes to the brain he's looking at what you're putting in your mind if if you are addicted to love and hip-hop uh lust and bad music better yet if you are addicted to atlanta house ex-wives and atlanta house girlfriends and lena house situation ships that's not attractive that is to a good man that's repelling you said i mean because he's not going to be sitting there watching that kind of stuff because he on his grind so if he watching tv he's trying to watch shark tank you see what i mean to see what people getting for their businesses because he building business he's trying to watch you said i mean so what you watching it have to be either healthy relaxation you know you better watching the cooking show like that's that's healthy relaxation it's not detrimental to your spiritual and mental and emotional growth but see it's so many women in a independent space that's saying i want a good man but you're not attractive to a good man because if you curse like a sailor and this and you want a man of god a man of god is not going to mix the sacred his sacred lifestyle with the profane so a man of god not going to curse like a sailor now he might stump his toe and you get the word out of you give you hill cuss word now y'all might get married and then in mr nasty time you might hear a couple of words but he ain't just walking around if this elf that yes this if that's this and this and this because you just say you want a man of god so if you want a man a lot the way y'all be looking for him he's not gonna be cursing like you so if you're using the f word and s word every time you do that he little throw up in his mouth you see what i mean so you have to understand that so if he in the gym and you said now another little bite of he'll be jerking oh i love beef jerky oh my god do you have oreos oreo oh i need my red velvet cupcake with the cream icing oh my goodness with the cream cheese icing oh thank you so much and he at the gym and he drank his protein shake he's he's like okay we're not compatible we're not compatible we we're on two different paths you see what i'm saying so and i literally it's it's so many women in independent space that then literally you know sitting there eating ham hawks and chitlins and then saying they want a man with abs that don't go together if if if you ain't coming close to sniffing out you you can't touch no out then you can't have that requirement because he if he got out that mean he attracted the abs so in your preparation you have to become what you're trying to attract because this is what a man understands as well a good man he trying to elevate to your level so that's why he trying to get his bread up that's why he trying to take care of his body because he know most women say i want a man that's athletic bill that's athletic bill or medium bill or muscular bill women say i want a man who earned good money meaning that we could take a vacation when we want to take a vacation we don't have to do the payment plan for it and be planned paying every month x amount of dollars with the travel agent we could just boom it's five thousand here go five thousand is paid for we can fly first class if we want to it's a little extra double the cost of the coach seat you know we could stay in a suite on an executive level instead of having to stay in the basement of the hotel with the rats and roaches we can't most women have that requirement so a good man what is he doing he working for that so when you see a man locked in and he focus he trying to get his money up he trying to get his body right and i just a guy said that to me yesterday he's a guy said that to me yesterday [Music] he said hey man i'm single like him man he say man i'm out here single man i can't be out here looking back he's like but i gotta be fit man hey don't say he's like man you married say you could let you let it pack a few pounds on he said man i got to be fit i'm not here to sing i got to look good and i got to be on my grind man hey i'm single in the city i was like okay yeah so i could understand you know it kind of all right yeah that makes sense okay that so that's why you in the gym so much okay that's why you working so hard because you single and you trying to get to the level of your wife that you want to attract and so understand that and this this in this space now now listen now listen when i step on your toes pause right now when i step on your toes let the ad let the ad play just sit down at 15 seconds i have along the ad here a lady yesterday about got blocked time like the ass is killing the video it's it's just make it hard to take the information in that means show good that means the show good you got to understand if the ads get on your nerve that means the show you watching is good because when you're watching scandal memory scandal used to be out or you be mad by the commercial i ain't i ain't watching but i know y'all mad by the commercial but that's when you just get the process so when i step on your toes you need to be happy for that next ad the way you can just sit there and just get that toe out just get that toe out of this oh my goodness he's stuck when he told oh my goodness he's definitely on my toes you gonna say out oh amen all right but let that process process that get that in your spirit so that you can say all right okay yeah all right i'm not a reflection of what i want to attract i'm not on my grind i'm not hustling out here making things happen i'm not i'm settling i'm complacent on this job this dead-end job that could let me go like the lady um rugensburg god russell sold the lady passed away and then y'all the man up he trying to replace the immediately they like hold on bro like genie she's not even resting peacefully in the ground yet and you already talking about you nominating somebody like hold on bro but see that's how job will do you that's how a job would do you you will be gone today and you'll have somebody writing your job tomorrow and so you dedicate your whole life to that job no write you a book start you another company create your legacy outside of that now see uh rule she left her legacy because her job you know she stood up in that job left her a legacy but do you have a job that's gonna leave a legacy if you ain't got no job they're gonna leave a legacy in your preparation phase you need to be doing something that's gonna help you tap into purpose when you see me talk to these life coaches that i'm interviewing these coaches they telling you well i work i work but um i took the certification course and i joined my mentor.life because i feel like that's my purpose but i'm balancing my job the dream with the job until the dream become the job you see what i mean so that's what you have to be doing in your preparation you got to look at your gifts um take entrepreneurship with purpose that's a course it's called entrepreneurship with purpose on tonygastonacademy.com link in the description you got to look at your gifts you got to look at your skills and you got to marry the two marry a gift with a skill and then turn it into a company give it a name get a logo get a website and start marketing yourself outside of your job so that now in this thing and this is what i want you to understand and what i want to help you understand and picture this okay picture this you listening to me right now right you listen to me right now if i put on a hundred pounds will you listen to me the same way will you see me the same way if i'm telling you about health and wellness about taking care of your body but and i put on 100 pounds you're not gonna hear me the same way if if i'm telling you to get your life in order and get yourself together and i'm telling you how a man ought to love a woman but you see me with a different woman on instagram every month you see me posing with a different woman on instagram telling my boo but i'm teaching you about relationships how you gonna hear me what you gonna gather from that now ironically in our world we live in we got single matchmakers we got single relationship coaches we got single relationship coach that you ain't never seen his wife you ain't never seen a girlfriend you sniff a picture of a woman and and the relationship code got millions millions of followers that's the irony of our world and you know why they've got millions because it's desperate women desperate women following single relationship coaches hoping that if she leave enough comments he's going to pick her i know what y'all wouldn't be doing i know what y'all wouldn't be doing some women ask me so tony why why you don't have as many followers as such and such because i'm married so all the heathens all the no good women they don't want to be on my page because they see ain't no chance for them to win me in the comments to win me in the dm so i just got good women following me who understand that i'm married and understand that i'm not here to pick my wife out of the comment section so the good gonna be few the heathen the loose booty 901 that's going to be many so they gonna follow the relationship coach that never showed a wife because they trying to get pig pic miesha okay and so that's what you got to understand but when you look at the difference when you look at who you gonna attract with no high school diploma who you gonna be attractive to with no high school diploma okay now get yourself a high school diploma your options change give yourself a college degree your options change give yourself a certification or trade your options change because a good man he may not be attracted to a woman without a high school diploma and so for the rest of her life she's told herself she gotta work at uh golden corral to bring the drink and this and point you to the silverware at golden corral for the rest of her life a good man who on his grind may not be attracted to that woman now this woman could have no high school diploma but she goes to cosmetology school or she goes and gets certified as a tax preparer if you can do that without a ged she go and do that and then i know women who have who barely finish high school did zero college but earn millions of dollars in their trade in their certification where they got certified in as entrepreneurs or as entrepreneurs who then got a product started small started with a t-shirt a raggedy t-shirt that was printed downtown selling a t-shirt twenty dollars and it went from that t-shirt to a whole line to a whole line of clothes that clothes is now being worn by celebrities it's people with that story but they had ambition they had vision they had a dream so what you have to realize is every level that you change every level that you change so [Music] and and this just this is how it is it's about goals it's about dreams so if you got a man who he looking and and this woman say she is a um uh what you call that political science major ain't nothing wrong with that if she say after getting my political science undergrad i'm going to law school because i want to be a civil attorney that's totally different than just being a political science major so when you have more vision when you have more ambition you look better you attract the different crowd you your as you elevate you become more attracted to different people and i've seen women say that a man's income rightfully so plays a part in his attractiveness many women say that it is fair that they are attracted to a man who is looks challenged now that he is a millionaire say that that doesn't make them that much i got hydraulics on the chair y'all gotta forgive him said that that doesn't make them a gold digger because they attracted to this man who now is a millionaire because money plays into attractiveness now whether that's right or wrong i'm not here to say i don't feel like it's right but is it true yes [Music] so think of a millionaire man think of a millionaire man that you feel personally is looks challenged remove his millions and then you tell yourself talk to yourself who you think he would attract if he did not have millions now add his millions back and see what women he has been able to sleep with to date to marry with his millions and his celebrity or his fame and now you see that as your level changes your options change so as you grow and develop in your preparation phase when you are preparing see you heal and then you prepare and then you get positioned in position i don't think i can talk a whole hour on positioning but positioning meaning when you prepare and you get out the house you in the singles group you doing your work on your business at the coffee shop instead of at home in your room locked up sitting on the bed you doing you going out on friday night to the live music hearing listen to your little jazz you going to the trail to run on sunday morning after church or before church on saturday morning if you ain't got kids who got games and sports or recitals or what have you you getting out of the house and you got a you got a schedule to where monday night you at your entrepreneurial meet up wednesday night you at bible study thursday night you with your life group first for the singles it's men and women it's co-ed friday night you out with the live music with the jazz saturday morning you doing the trail you hiking you hiking the mountain are you doing the trail it's other people out there and that's why you keep saying the same man he go out there every every week at 10 a.m heat up after he see you the fourth time he's like wow you really like the trail like i see you all the time it's like we might as well get to know each other you know how are you what's your name any family you got kids like why no why are you always alone he's like oh i'm single he's like oh wow well me too i guess that's explains why i'm alone out here so maybe we could come get together and we could come out here together sometime so now you didn't met your husband because you out the house and see a lot of women in the independent not independent in a preparation phase you independent and you preparing okay you got your degree you got your body right you got your mind right but you only stay home so you sitting at the house just twirling your thumb waiting on the doorbell to ring [Music] you want to go to the door bell opened open hey how are you you expect the man to be hi how are you god sent me yeah god sent me to your doorstep it's like that what you waiting on no you ready you prepared you got to get up you got to get out of here you got to get position you prepared now you got to get position now see the preparation is is hard to do so now for me in my preparation [Music] i had me an eight pack of abs so i already knew and i want to see that eight pack of house and in her chest and eat her arm they're gonna like that and then i had my silver tongue all right old mouthpiece what you want to be well i'm a criminology major so i'll probably be like i really want to be a detective but on the spiritual side of things i believe i want to be a pastor one day and open up a church um you want to be able to detect and a deacon and then the pastor okay all right and you got eight mega abs okay and you got two cell phone okay you got your own car okay new car too all right you see what i'm saying i had no impala it was two years old um i had my old had my 05 it was it was oh seven and um had me two cell phones had no mouthpiece you said i'm saying so i was positioned i would prepare in our position now i was faking the phone but that changed who i could attract nah it was women who they just wanted me now they were trying to get the hot rapper the dope bar in the city who who was touching hundreds of thousands of millions of dollars who they weren't checking for men like myself my wife she was more humble she ain't one count in my pocket she was trying to see where your heart at what you want to be long term and so what i'm doing today i spoke it although i wasn't really actively all the way locked in but the fact that i spoke it once you speak it deaf and life is in the power of the tongue so right now as an independent woman who you preparing yourself you got to be speaking your speaking your dreams you got to speak your vision you got to know what you're trying to do and you got to get out there like the coach um that i interviewed coach amber she lost 108 pounds and of course you're gonna have a couple come back on you but now you got the recipe you got the formula on how to get it off you already know how to do that so when you get ready to get on that dating field and you say okay i'ma i keep attracting this type of man this type of man let me go ahead and get these 10 pounds off that i know i do not like i'm not comfortable with let me get these 10 pounds off then guess what you're going to attract a totally different type of man and yes in every level it's going to be grown boys and it's going to be grown men but guess what your options are greater so the men who want you at 250 pounds they're gonna want you at 200 pounds they're gonna want you at 170 pounds and so now you went from 10 men who want you to 100 men who want you and now you got to pick up a little they lined up putting their application in and you get to choose the men who want to do with no college with no high school diploma going to want you with a high school diploma and i know some of y'all saying uh uh some man i want i had a man who i lost weight and then he ain't want me no more he he he was ready to divorce me he was he was done with me he talked about i'm cheating on him that's not a man that's a grown boy you see what i'm saying so you're gonna have always a mix of grown boys and grown men but your options are greater when you have no business meaning you have not started a llc you and even if you selling you know uh tags for t-shirts you need to have you a llc and see here this here mask i bought if some people know how to sew so what they taking and doing today in the house they sewing masks and they sewing here masks and they put it on facebook and just to support them their friends paying twelve dollars ten dollars fifteen dollars so you know how to sold what are you doing why you selling mass right now your grandma taught you how to sold yo mama told you how to sew and you just ah i'm just so exhausted from my job so what you doing at your job i just file papers all day i file papers i check numbers make sure everything in order i do kind of accounting but it just drains me and it's like yeah i know how to sew but it's like i ain't got time to sew look here with my white bow my wife bought me a louis vuitton cup holder i mean coaster somebody sat at their house and got them a machine that itched on this hill stuff and it ain't cost nothing hey baby baby wife in the playroom i'm about to ask her what the hell called somebody how making money look you know how the machine you know the machine you got the machine do this here you know you know the machine you crafted like this you were great in home economic class and art class in wood shop class you were great in that class you love that class you know how to cut in here how much is your call fifty dollars for four fifteen off for four maybe she said she can't remember that's that's because she get paid well she don't remember what she paid for stuff filled all four so just like this right here you could be at the house how you want to be be cutting it out be putting a little snap on there and selling it but you going to work coming home ain't doing nothing else but guess what when you got your business when you meet this man who he on his grind he hustling he trying to get it he got full streams of income right now he talked to you what you do so so yeah what do you do on a daily basis like you know what's work like well i'm at the um i'm down to the you know the comcast call center and you know i've been there for five years oh really the comcast so like what do you do at the call comcast call center well you know comcast is cable so like i'm calling people and just basically saying like hey you're a month late on your cable bill like um are you planning to pay this and so it's kind of interesting i meet all kind of people get all kind of stories you know one lady stumped their toe and then couldn't go to work so she's behind on a bill so i could give them an extension so it's really purposeful too because like people need cable they really need their real house girlfriends of atlanta and so it's like i'm able to give them that and in these tough times right now where everybody has to wear a mask and have hand sanitizer it's like for me to be able to give her a 30 day grace period so she could continue to watch her favorite shows it's like i'm living my purpose and so the man he kind of like [Music] that's interesting yeah yeah you're right you know i i mean everybody need real house of girlfriends you know it's just you need that and for you to be able to do that that's amazing um the last time you hear from that man that man got two three businesses because you complacent understand now i already know oh i cannot believe this is supposed to be motivation you're on here shaming people who have to work at the call center i work at the call center and i am the supervisor now and i make good money probably make more than you make on youtube listen if the shoe fit wet nah if the shoe fit wet if the shoe fit run your mile in it you hear me but i'ma tell you the truth i'm just trying to help you okay what i'm trying to tell you is i used to make 8.50 an hour okay i couldn't stay that old i had to have a dream i had to have a vision and when i learned and found my way i started teaching other people how to find a way i've been seeing somebody bought the the birth year book course um this morning i think i think i saw somebody by the entrepreneurship with purpose course that's my gift back because i found my way so i earned a great living i could take care of my family i could get them anything they want we go anywhere they want to go but i came from 8.50 an hour so what i'm saying in this preparation phase you cannot get complacent in your body if your body ain't where you want your body to be you cannot get complacent in your knowledge if your mind really ain't where you want it to be you cannot get complacent in your brain if you not doing what you want to be doing to be earning money you got to grow in that area you got to push yourself to the next level you got to do that and that's what has to be non-negotiable so don't get in your feelings because your body not where you want your body to be that's why we not in no live room where people could be looking at you well she worked at she work at the comcast call center tony only know that i used to work with her but now i'm a rn she's still at the call center he talking to her you by yourself if you need to cry cry if you need to pray pray you need some olive oil you need to open your bible and read say lord give me a vision lord give me a plan lord give me the confidence lord give me the faith to work on myself to grow because you getting mad with god are you causing god all right god say listen you not waiting on me you not waiting on me baby girl i'm waiting on you i'm waiting on you god said listen i don't prepare the man for you he right over there waiting in the wings but you got to get some things in order for you got to get prepared for his presentation he can't approach you in the state of mind that you're in in the state of body that you in in the state of job that you're in he can't do that because that's my son i don't already promise him the best so i can't deliver you to him because he didn't work to get to a certain level i need you to work to get to that level when you get to that level y'all going to meet i'ma cross your paths cosmic collision because i'm god and that's what i do that's what the lord is telling you but see you got to hear the lord instead of all you can hear is you are arguing and yelling at the lord wait about oh your appointment all right all right i'll let you i'll be off here in on four minutes so i'll text you call you okay all right i'll call you in four minute wife gotta go go get her facial still you gotta have you a routine a self-care routine well you see if you say hey all right it ain't in the budget right now for no facial but i'm going to go right up to the cvs wall green ralph's and get me to hear fake watch give me the hill moisturizer get me this hill uh peel get me to heal tweezing get in here okay get eat blight hit okay give my own self a facial once a month a whole face watch my face twice a day you something that's part of preparation okay i'm gonna keep these nails cut put my little clear coat on there if you don't like color put your little color in there you like color if that ain't your budget then you do that you said i mean you have to get prepared you already independent but you sin still you sense that you pay all your bills you got the cardinal you got your rent or your mortgage you you you got your health insurance you pay all your bills but you still complacent in the three b's you still not doing the work and when you start doing that that work i'm trying to tell you now listen to them you attract something different you attract something different if i had six gold teeth i wouldn't be able to go into the rooms that i could go in now but when i change when i grew if i still would win don't boy clothes i wouldn't be able to go in some of the rooms i could go in now even the fact that i got a country accent that's limiting me i got i'm okay with those limits right now but it's gonna come a day to where they're gonna want me on national tv worldwide the way i'm gonna have to tone my accent down so more people can understand me because there's so many people that equate your accent to your education level i could know more than them what they make in a year i can make it a month be way past them but they still gonna judge but if i need to get into a certain door i got to be aware of that that's knowledge and i got to be malleable i got to be able to adjust it ain't about losing myself it ain't about doing that it's wise as a circuit harmless as a dove you got to know how you got to move the way you could get in the way you got to get in then when you get your foot in you take over now you do what you want to do now you even gave me my three seasons when the accent come out ain't nothing you can do nah i'm in here not and now that you now when you see the people ain't got a problem with it but see the gatekeeper at the door hi how are you i'm tony gaskins yes great to meet you well i really feel that i can carry this show just because of my ability to think from the top of the dome and to be able now i wouldn't put the little light voice on there i have some bass in my voice man well i really feel i can carry the show because of my ability to think from the top of the dome and just be able to relate to several different people from several walks of life and understanding the caveats and the nuances see i throw a couple words in there and so they hit okay all right man i know what are you talking about then when i get in there hit him with that accent oh he ended up not and then when the people say oh we got no problem with the accident like it's fine all right give him another three season you see what i'm saying same thing with your relationship you got to be able to say okay i'm gonna have to grow in this area even though i'm amazing woman and i could love this man and the man that i want he looking at me and he's saying she's not ready because she complacent she's not growing and one of them bees or two of them bees and she need all three bees because i'm working on the three bees and so boom you do that now now when you got him and he get to know you for you because he first you're looking at you on the outside when he get to know you for you when one of them bees change he know you now but you got to get prepared to even get to that place so when you put on them 20 pounds he loved you he know that come from love good eating and having a child so now he's not judging you he don't see you as complacent because he saw the process that you got there hey i got to go god bless you

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 39,073

Rating: 4.9370747 out of 5

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Id: rRQkAqzRUUQ

Length: 59min 59sec (3599 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 29 2020